Author's Note Okay, I don't write this directly in this chapter, but Derek goes to Casey because of his blackouts. He wants to ask for her help. He goes in and wakes her up but as events and dialogue happens, why he comes in isn't mentioned. At the end I state that the one person he secretly relied on would never again 'pity help' him as a statement saying that the reason he went in there was for her help. Just so that clears any possible confusion. And if I get any reviews asking why he went in there I will be upset that they don't read the authors note. AN is VERY valuable. Well, I make it valuable.

And after I posted the previous chapter I got off and wrote this chapter. Ironically, before I posted this chapter I went to check if I had any reviews someone said that they wished Derek would realize that he had done something so unforgivable...

Enjoy the chapter.

Disclaimer HAHA. And that's all I have to say about that.

Casey was shaken awake by a very disgruntled Derek. She weakly opened her eyes, and reeled back in horror to see him above her. She looked behind him and the door was shut. In a moment of instinct she kicked his inner thigh, missing where she really wanted to kick.

He fell back, holding a yelp of pain behind his teeth.

"Get out." She said in a harsh whisper. It was rather dark in her room. Casey hadn't realized she fell asleep, and was surprised no one had woken her for dinner.

"What the hell was that for?" Casey reached around and grabbed her pillow and threw it at him.

"I don't want you in here. There are people here this time, I'll scream and they will come. At least Lizzie will." Derek picked up her pillow.

"What do you think I'm going to do?" He asked, agitated, as he stood. His voice was shaky and his skin looked damp. Casey's face softened. Something was less dangerous, less menacing. She shook her head with her eyes not looking away from him.

"Why are you like this to me? You were so bad to me in the beginning and I didn't like it and I didn't understand it. When I tried to reach out you resisted me. We couldn't be friends...I'm a goody-two-shoes. I ruin reputations when people are friends with me." Casey's eyes got wet, "Then we hate each other like normal. Family fights and still you were there for me to help against the crowds of teasers aching to get some harsh words in...words that you also contribute to nearly every day...And I never thought you could be like that. I never thought you could be so evil." Her hands met her eyes and she sobbed, still talking through quivering vocal chords. "I never thought you would be that way…Can you tell me why? Why me? Why…me…?" Derek looked down so confused, forgetting his initial intentions of coming to her.

What had he done? What did he do in his blackouts that drove Casey even further from him. Such a romantic dream to be with the one you loved and Derek hadn't understood why it was her that he loved. She was right though, he did torment her, and she did try to be friends with him before the actual wedding. But there was another element to her story that he couldn't understand.

"Could you please, just tell me what you are talking about?" He had been tempted to tell her to stop crying, as it was making him highly uncomfortable, but resisted. Derek had done something, obviously in his recent escalation of blackouts, and more than wanting her to stop crying, he wanted to know what that wrong-doing was.

"You know! Why are you going to make me say it? I can't even say it in my head. I can't think of anything else and I still can't think of the words." She looked angrily at him. "And you play stupid. Innocent. You were never innocent were you? Was there any other girls you did this to? Or did they all want it?" Derek's heart dropped and realization dawned on him.

"Last night was fun Derek." Ashley whispered into Derek's ear. He thought back on their date. Not too exciting.

"Yeah, you looked really great in that dress." She gave a seductive chuckle.

"I had even more fun after dinner." He smiled at her, despite the fact he had no idea what she was talking about.

And so many girls that had seemed to experience things with him that he could never recall. All this time he thought that those girls wanted him so much they pretended.

Casey wouldn't pretend. Especially, like this. And I thought I was a virgin. I was going to do one good thing with myself. 'Course I would never tell anyone and damage my flirtatious rep…but I wasn't going to throw that away. Everything's ruined, isn't it...

"Casey did…we…" Casey started sobbing again and he looked down at her in horror. His foot fell behind him and he found himself backing away. The thing he really wanted to run away from wouldn't disappear in the distance, it would follow him. Not side by side, because it resided inside of him.

"Why do you have to be like that? Pretending you just found out?" Her eyes glared through him. They were red and wet, full of heartbreak and sorrow that he had caused.

"I…" Derek turned away from her and placed a hand on her doorknob. "I did, I did…just find out." He left the room.

Derek closed his bedroom door. The one person he secretly relied on, now, would never even give him pity advice. The one person he secretly loved, now, would never love him. Casey was torn and shattered; it was all his fault.

What have I done?