Michael
I can't easily forget making out with my ex-girlfriend. Especially when the make out secession felt better then anything had in months, years even. Being with Mia just feels so natural to me. It's like I could be in this space in time for all of my life, with Mia looking at me over her bowl of cereal, and I wouldn't notice anything is wrong. I wish she felt the same way. WAIT! No I don't. I hate her. I'm mad that she broke up with me for some stupid sex issue. I hate that those lips that are now starring at me and tempting me to kiss them right over Tony the Tiger- damn it. I can't even think about how much I hate her without admitting how much I'm attracted to her.
She always had a better way of controlling her hormones then I've had. Or maybe she just isn't attracted to me anymore, but she did kiss me like she missed me. If only I could deceiver those looks. They sure look flirty to me. Especially when she bits that lip, her big lower lip.
I've got it. I opened Pandora's Box when I kissed Mia. I'm back in those desperate days when all I wanted to do was rip her clothes off and fell her inside my arms. I miss the way she smells my neck when she thinks I'm not paying attention. I miss the blush she gets when she wants me to kiss her or touch her. I miss the way her hand feels in mine.
I wonder if she misses me. I think she does. I hope she does. Life is too miserable to me right now.
Mia
It's hard living in this apartment. Not like I thought it was going to be earlier when I thought the guys I was moving in with were insane. It's hard because I just keep thinking about Michael, his lips on mine, the butterflies I still have when he touches me. It's unfair that I feel this way. And it's unfair how he keeps looking at me like he's seen me naked, or wants to see me naked because he hasn't seen me naked.
"Just admit you miss me," Michael groaned, "and that you think it felt so good last night." I put the newspaper I had been reading down and starred at him for a few seconds. I wasn't going to admit that because it would just make everything more difficult. I'm not supposed to be the girl I was in high school. I'm supposed to be a strong woman who can control her love life and with Michael we all know I'm not cable of that.
I'm over the way he makes me feel, crazy and… beautiful. There it is, despite everything he still made me feel beautiful. The way he touched my cheek and let his hand go down the rest of my body made me feel so desired. I never thought he'd want me again. Of course I want him. If he knew how much I like him, maybe even love him, I think everything would just become complicated.
"I miss having you around," I started to say and I was so worried that something was going to slip out that I didn't want to that I knew I was going to have to get this out fast. "I think we should get to know each other again as friends. I'd love to be your friend." I said that but what my brain wanted me to say was I'd love to love you and for you to love me. I was so glad I held that all in.
"It felt good for me," he said in such a seductive voice it took all I had not to jump his bones. "I've missed you so much that even those evil stares get me excited." I blushed a mean red then looked down at me frosted flakes.
"Stop. What evil stares?" I know I shouldn't have but it was just so tempting.
"The one's when you're typing away. I feel like I should lock my door at night." I felt like I should tell him that those aren't evil stares that those are looks of a woman wanting a man to ravish her and the only thing I was typing was adjbfwpafmdnfeipawnf then erasing it and doing it all over again. "Maybe I should start locking my door though; I don't know how much of this kidnapping at night business I can take."
"I did not kidnap you."
"You didn't know you were kidnapping me you mean." He gave me a really seductive look then and I felt his foot on mine. His toes curled out of longing. I had tingles through out my whole body.
"You really have changed," I whispered. At first I wasn't sure if he had heard me but after a second when I looked up I could see that he was starring at me with his head tilted trying to decide what I meant. I wasn't going to give him that either so I stood, put my bowl in the sink and went to the living room where my computer was ready for me to start typing again.
Michael
Did anyone really expect me to be able to work with Mia in such close proximity that I could have her in my arms if I wanted. Yes I wanted but she was showing signs of resistance and it's never as fun to hold her if she isn't cuddling and all love dovey with me. Besides, I didn't want her to move out and so far away that I wouldn't get to ever hold her again, Genovia is so far away.
I don't think I could handle myself if she moved again. The last time she did she just packed up and left without a word. Sure, we were broken up and okay she told Lilly but I'm not Lilly. She didn't even give me a chance to grovel to try to win her back. And now she's back into my life. Second chance or no hope? This is probably something I need to figure out.
I want to at least know that we ended everything for the right reasons and that it was the right thing to do. Have I mentioned how much I missed the feel of her lips on mine? Or the way her body fits perfectly with mine? Or how she turns so red after she does something whether it is embarrassing or not? Because I do I miss her. I even miss how pissed off I get at her sometimes. I wish that that little kiss we shared would have just made everything better. I wish she'd come into my room again and crawl under the covers with me. I wish she'd let me love her the way we both know I can and in ways Mia never let me.
What is wrong with my life?
Mia
Darrian walked into the room. Not only was itso freezing cold but she was also strangely sick to the stomach, from what she didn't know since she hadn't eaten anything that day. She was having a farewell party for the only man she had ever loved. One that involved two parts, on being with all of his friends and family and the next was just Ryan and Darrian. She had been daydreaming about it all day and she couldn't wait to have Ryan to herself and to be able to get to know every part of his body and to let him know ever part of her body. She had such a longing for
Darrian was tired. Not only had she planned such a marvelous party that even her own best friend couldn't believe it but she had done some very major shopping/grooming. Tonight had to be perfect. She wasn't going to let Ryan out of the city without letting him ravish her like
Darren was confused and her love life was in the toilet.
Darren was confused and her love life was in the loo.
Darren loved Ryan.
Mia loved Michael.
Mia loves Michael.
Later
I had to fight so hard not to go into Michael's bed. Epically since I was still replaying the revelation I had whenever I had been writing earlier. I just wanted to know if it was true. If the way he's been looking at me lately has really been giving me shivers and if I really have been starting to think about Michael in really wrong ways. And if I really wanted him to make love to me.
Also, my bed was so cold and lonely. Well not cold since it was probably 80 degrees in this place but defiantly lonely. If only Michael was with me then my bed would be just right. Everything would be just right. No, everything would be more then alright it would be perfect. I'd get to smell Michael's neck and he could nuzzle mine the way he did that drove me insane. And he could sing his songs for me and play guitar instead of this sick thing I have with listening to the c.d. that I bought off of eBay (it was one of the guys from the band who was selling everything he could so he could pay his rent). It's just that I missed his voice and I missed his slow caressing hand. And although I was never going to admit this to anyone, especially Michael, the whole kiss thing last night made me feel more alive then I've felt in years.