Chapter 9

After that night at the homestead, Sully had stopped restricting himself to waiting for an invitation to join the family. The very next morning he appeared in town in time for Michaela's arrival with the children. Although he instantly pulled a basket with fresh sheets from the back of the wagon in order to help Michaela carry them inside, his attention was focused instead on Matthew who had just exited the clinic.

Worried that the young man might start seeing gambling as his only chance to earn enough money to buy what he needed for his new homestead, Sully had asked around to see if anyone was offering a job. Outside of town he had succeeded.

"I just came from Widow Hansen's," he informed Matthew, "she says she needs that oak tree chopped. Pays two dollars."

Having won so much last night that he was able to buy gifts for everyone in the family and still having enough left, not only for lumber but another game as well, Matthew thought it was pointless to go all the way out of town for two dollars. Not wanting to anger Sully though and actually appreciating his older friend's attempt to support him, he assured; "I'll go by later."

With that he headed off down the street and for a minute, Michaela and Sully watched his retreating figure. They both hoped that Matthew would really do what he'd just promised but feared that he wouldn't. Upon glancing at each other, there was a mute understanding that had developed at a time when they had grown so close, a time which seemed ages ago now. However, on this occasion it worked and whilst Michaela silently communicated her appreciation for his efforts, Sully assured her that it was nothing. As he carried the basket into the examination room, his expression showed his satisfaction for a split second. He had noticed the almost imperceptible smile on her face.

Sully had no idea that Michaela still felt as if she had just saved herself from drowning. She had a picture in her mind that she and Sully had been swimming through a river. He had promised to take her to the other side but when she still felt insecure and doubted that she would be able to make it, he had turned away from her for he had spotted someone else. Michaela had realized though that it didn't really matter that Sully had focused his attention on another woman or why; all that mattered was that he had told her she wasn't fast enough for him. It had been those angry words that had pulled away the ground under her feet and made her flee out of the water. Yet she needed to stay at the river's bank for her children's sake, and after her heart had stopped its aching race from the effort to leave her dream behind, she had made herself comfortable like she had done when she'd first arrived in Colorado Springs: staying open-minded but only relying on herself.

However, she had realized that accepting help didn't hurt. In addition, she felt safe now with her heart shielded once again and so it wasn't difficult for her to ask for Sully's support when it came to Matthew. She had learned the lesson that her son sometimes needed a male guide rather than his mother. And this time, contrary to Matthew's rite of passage one year ago, she and Sully were even in tune after initially seeing things differently. Although it hurt watching her son making all those mistakes – after all, he hadn't only been badly beaten but had even risked his engagement with Ingrid, Michaela knew that this was the only way for the young man to find out himself that what he was doing was wrong.

Yet only when everything was over and Sully had given her the ring he had bought back from the slick gambler, had she recognized how hopelessly lost Matthew had actually been. Her expression showed her shock upon realizing this conclusion but also deep gratitude for Sully's help.

As Michaela looked at him fully for the first time after what felt like years to him, Sully's heart skipped a beat and his gaze softened. He wanted her to know that as much as this was about Matthew, his sympathy was with her too. As he saw her attempting to smile and heard her thanking him, he wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her. However, the tiny moment of her opening up to him was already gone and thus he figured it was still too soon for this gesture of intimacy even though it would only have been a friendly one.

That didn't mean that he was discouraged though. Knowing that he had a foot in the door, Sully stopped by at the homestead even more often now than he had done when he was courting Michaela. This way he saw much more of how the small family functioned. He had known before that Matthew did most of the chores outside of the house because he had helped him now and then. Brian had some tasks as well and of course Michaela was the one who kept everything together. But actually it was Colleen who amazed Sully the most. Next to doing her school work, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the laundry at home, the girl even volunteered to help at the clinic. Dr. Mike was really lucky that her daughter was so willing and reasonable. Sully hoped that Colleen would some day find someone who'd really appreciate all her qualities.

He was sure though that this wouldn't be Tom, Dorothy's son. The former soldier had just returned to town, apparently to visit his mother. When they had all sat around the table at the homestead for dinner on the night of his arrival, the young man had seemed to be quite nice. The children couldn't get enough of his stories and he charmed Michaela with compliments about the professional group of doctors. Yet there was something about Tom that disturbed Sully. He just couldn't pinpoint yet what it was. Since Colleen seemed to have taken a liking to him, Sully decided to watch the young man carefully.

He had no idea that he wouldn't even be close by when the unthinkable happened the very next night.

Michaela had only really felt uncomfortable in the small house so far away from any neighbors during her first few weeks in Colorado Springs. Then she had gotten used to living out of town and even learned to appreciate the solitude. Only when the attacks by dog soldiers increased did she take precautions to protect her family in case of an emergency. Because Matthew had insisted, she now had a rifle within reach beside her bed but to be honest, she hadn't expected to actually need it.

However, as soon as Colleen's muffled screams woke her up in the late hours of that night, Michaela had grabbed the gun as if she had done it umpteen times before. She even thought of cocking her gun while she yelled at the masked intruder to let her daughter go and called out for Matthew to help her. For Michaela it was as if everything happened at the same moment: the stranger shoving Colleen out of the way so he could aim at her now, her sons appearing on the threshold and the robber turning and shooting at Matthew. Hearing the loud bang, Michaela didn't hesitate to fire the rifle she held already raised against the man who had threatened her children. Only when he fell to the floor with a loud thud, screaming with pain and Matthew took the rifle from her, did she gather Colleen and Brian in her arms, holding them close. Assuring them that everything was over now, she waited anxiously for Matthew to tell her whether the stranger still lived. Hearing that he did, her "doctor" instinct took over and she went to him. As she pulled the scarf from his face and realized it was her best friend's son who had caused this nightmare for her family, Michaela was taken aback. She didn't have time to try and comprehend the situation however because Tom needed surgery immediately.

Later, she couldn't recall how they had managed to get the young man into the back of the wagon so they could take him to the clinic. But she would remember that for the first time after they'd broken up she had wished Sully was there.

However, as soon as they raced into town with Matthew calling for help, enough people rushed out of their houses in order to support whoever was in need. Knowing she had to operate instantly in order to save her patient's life, Michaela asked Grace to take care of the children. Time was very precious right now and so Michaela didn't register Colleen's plea to be allowed staying with her for what it was: the girl crying out for her mother to make her feel safe again. Not that Michaela would have been able to do so but maybe she could have prevented her daughter's withdrawal into herself. Although Colleen had lived with Dr. Mike for just under two years, she was already very much her new mother's daughter and thus she buried her emotions deep inside of herself rather than discussing them openly.

Sully wasn't there yet to help.

.