Author's note: I ain't got time to hunker aroun' an' take care o' no dogs! Inuyasha scram! Bah humbug!

Chapter 8: As I lay dying

Shippo dashed helplessly through the forest. It was dead silent. Sweat lined his brow as he hopped, ran, tripped, and stumbled through the trees and underbrush. He didn't know how long he'd searched. The forest had become so dense he couldn't see the sky. His face was smudged with dirt and his clothes were ripped and ornamented with leaves and twigs.

How could this happen? Where was Inuyasha? Shippo wondered furiously. He'd followed Inuyasha's scent into the woods, but lost it. He needed to find him desperately. Kagome and the others were in serious danger, maybe even more than serious... He feared the worst.

Stupid, stupid Inuyasha. Shippo gritted his teeth as he paused to look about in a clearing. How could he leave them like that and double time on Kagome? He clamped his fists shut. It made his head burn to think Inuyasha could be so insensitive sometimes. However, despite Shippo's infuriated state of mind, he was mostly scared. He needed Inuyasha. Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and Kiara needed him. Their very lives depended on him.

That demon had unexpectedly returned. Miroku was first to act, but he never had a chance. The demon had stabbed him on the arm and then gouged out his spiritual powers using a strange frozen fluid. Shippo remembered standing helpless as the liquid evaporated into a white smoke and then was drawn into the demon's hand. It was then that Sango came roaring out, in uniform with Kiara, to smote him with her vengeful wrath. Sango had yelled to Kiara to go find Inuyasha, but when the demon attacked Sango, Kiara flew to rescue the huntress. That left Shippo to seek out the traitorous dog, as he now saw him. It had definitely not sounded good for his friends when he left. A huge cloud of dust had raised from one of the huts and rubble erupted up into the sky. With his acute demon ears, Shippo could discern the cry of a woman in pain.

Many of the villagers had flocked around him in a stampede out of the area. He couldn't blame them for being scared, but his temper flared at how few men came to his friends' aid.

That Inuyasha would pay for this. It could have all been avoided had he not left. Shippo's eyes were brimming with tears now. He knew he was lost. The scent of the woods was different than the area near Kaede's village. He let out a wail. His tears streamed freely down his dirt- stained cheeks.

"INUYASHA! INUYASHA! Oh, please, Inuyasha! Why can't you stay with us?!" Shippo's nose drooled wetly down his face. He wiped it with his tattered sleeve. He shuddered as his sobbing grew quieter. His little frame shook as he curled into a fetal position and wept. His body was exhausted and his perpetual state of heightening terror had drained him of all his energy. He had never felt so lost, alone, and incapable.

Maybe he should have just stayed there and died fighting with the others. His moans had quieted and his eyes glistened as he stared blankly into space. It was dark... so dark. Was he really all by himself now? He sniffled and hugged his knees to him in his pitiful position.

"Shippo, is that you?" An old stuffy voice questioned.

"H..Huh?" Shippo slowly looked up, but could not locate the voice's owner. He swerved his head around. Nothing. "Who's there?" He peeped, his nose sounding congested.

"It's me, Myoga. Shippo, what's wrong? Why are you out here all by yourself? Where are Master Inuyasha and the others?" The aged flea bounced up onto one of Shippo's knees, to look him in the eyes.

"Oh..ho.. Myoga. Myoga! It was horrible! Inuyasha left and a demon attacked us. Miroku was injured and Sango wasn't doing well when I left. Kaede couldn't help because she was still healing. Kagome's not back from her world yet, but I'm sure he'll get her too when she does. And I have to find Inuyasha! He's the only one who can help, and... it's... all... his... fault!" Shippo's rapid retelling broke up as he quaked and hiccuped when his bawling ruptured out again, like an opened wound. He ended in incoherent muttering.

"Wow, wow, slow down, Shippo. It'll be alright. Now, where are they?" Myoga tried to calm the child.

"In Kaede's village" he mumbled.

"And Master Inuyasha, where did he go?"

"I don't know! He went running after Kikyo again." The little demon said with a tone of malice.

"Settle down Shippo, I just want to get the facts straight. We need to act fast. Let's head back to the village to see if they're ok." Myoga offered.

"Ok" Shippo conceded. He lifted himself from the earth and stopped. He suddenly realized, he didn't know which way the village was. "Oh, no! I don't know where it is. How will we get there now?" The little fox howled in desperation. He had dealt with so much in the last 24 hours. He couldn't take it anymore. What pieces of determination and strength he had built back up, now shattered. His spirit broke and he slumped to the ground again in defeat.

"Shippo, Shippo, it's ok. Don't give up so easily." Myoga tried to comfort the child. "Though this does complicate things..." Myoga looked about. "Hmm..." He hopped off Shippo and over to a neighboring tree.

"Where are you going?" questioned the fox-child.

"I'm going to see if we're in range of the village from the top of this tree."

"Oh, good idea..." Shippo was calming down. Myoga disappeared for a minute. Shippo hadn't seen him ascend the tree, but a strange squeaky bouncing noise assured him the old demon was nearby.

"Giddyup, you little varmint," the old flea's voice sounded annoyed. Shortly after, a possessed looking squirrel scuttled up the tree at top speed. "Hey, wow, aaaahhhh!" Myoga cried causing the most minuscule rustling of dust that Shippo had ever seen form when someone fell to the ground. The squirrel chittered angrily down at him. Myoga slowly got up and rubbed his lower back. "There goes my arthritis," Myoga grumbled.

Shippo glanced dismally at the old timer. He had lost all his vitality and was reduced to a lackadaisical sloth. However, to Myoga's surprise, the sluggish boy lifted himself to his haunches and clutched to a weak newborn tenacity. He sniffed a whiff of the air. His eyes closed in order to focus and his legs stretched to raise his nose as high as he could. He was breathing deeply. His eyelids twitched and his brow furrowed. He'd sensed something.

"What is it?" Myoga asked, a little astounded at the boy's commitment.

"This scent, it's so familiar. It's coming closer." Shippo's eyebrows raised in unison as he inhaled again.

"Is it bad?" Myoga cowered away behind a pebble.

"No,.." Shippo seemed to be wracking his brain to identify the scent.

Suddenly a devilish twister swept through the area. It wound about in front of them for a moment then settled. The disappearing surge of wind revealed a tall muscular man. He had dark hair, fur covered appendages, and seething aqua eyes.

"Koga!" Shippo squeaked.

"Where's Kagome, is she alright?" hissed the wolf prince.

"A demon attacked us and I don't know how any of them could have survived when Inuyasha was gone." Shippo consented.

"Kano?" Koga spat and sent a questioning glance at Shippo.

"Kano?" Shippo repeated.

"Was his name Kano?" Koga was impatient.

"I don't know; he didn't speak." Shippo looked pleadingly up at Koga. "Please, help us. I lost my direction after searching for Inuyasha and I can't find my way back. Myoga and I need to return to them. Please, Koga..." Shippo's eyes were brimming with tears again.

The proud wolf demon stared down at the pathetic tyke with his piercing blue eyes. Koga quickly stooped down and swept Shippo up by the arm. Myoga, seeing his window of opportunity closing, leapt onto Shippo's clothes and grasped on for dear life. For the young wolf prince sped off with such ferocity, Myoga felt as though he'd die on the way to the ground if he let go.

A lonely fire kindled in the center of the one roomed dwelling. The flames flickered and frightened black shadows into the corners and crevices of the room. Two near carcasses laid encased in cumbersome coverings: Miroku and Sango.

Kaede sat beside the fire, preparing a stew. Her face was solemn. She poured herself a bowl, then another. She peeked up at Inuyasha. He was slumped over against the wall. He was clutching Kagome in his arms. His snow white hair blanketed his face and shielded Kagome. She knew he was purposefully hiding his face. Kaede assumed he didn't want to share his tears.

"Stew?" She offered gently. Inuyasha shifted his head once to the right. His hair sweeping slowly with him. Kaede set the extra bowl down. Her gaze fell back to the ground. A few deathly silent moments passed.

Something clinked to the floor. Kaede looked up. The necklace, it must have fallen from Kagome's hands. Inuyasha seemed to have noticed too, but didn't show any concern for it. Kaede struggled to stand up. She shuffled over to the huddled Inuyasha and Kagome. She collapsed to her knees and retrieved the trinket. Inuyasha adjusted his arms to clamp Kagome protectively closer to himself. Her hair fell over the back of his arm and reflected the firelight. He said nothing. Kaede bit her lower lip. She tore her eyes away and addressed the necklace.

The necklace appeared vacantly normal. It's power must have been used up. It's surface was cold. Kaede wise old oak eyes shimmered. Her eyes flashed up at Inuyasha. He was as still as a statue, sculpted in the same position she had last viewed him. Kaede closed her tired eyes. Kagome was freezing again. The talisman had failed.

Poor child, she deserved better than this. Kaede pulled herself back over to the other side of the room. She rested her haggard body on her mat and settled her head on her pillow. Her own injuries were nearly healed. She could feel it under the bandage. Sango and Miroku would survive too. They were lucky. It seemed that death had only kissed them good night. Kagome got the undivided attention of the grim reaper.

Kaede was one of the few who least underestimated Kagome. She had strong faith in the girl's talents. But this, this was too much. Kagome's soul had been skinned of its spiritual epidermis. She was exposed, ripped bare. The girl could easily succumb to evil now that her most formidable defense was shaved from her very being. This was far beyond Kaede's ability. She wouldn't even know where to start. In fact, she was sure the monk wouldn't have a clue either.

Miroku had experienced the same treatment as Kagome, but since Kagome had been dispatched after him, he was able to reabsorb some of his powers. Kaede had felt them scurrying confusedly about his body. Also while Kagome's powers were flowing out, Miroku was able to silence the life-draining gash in his arm. He'd live. That was clear.

Sango and Kiara would be fine too. They were physically damaged, but it was nothing that a little rest couldn't cure. Kaede pondered a bit more. What a horrific aftermath. Was Kagome's and Kikyo's soul fated to forever suffer such gruesome tragedies? Kaede's eyelids grew heavy. She shut them together as a single tear rolled mournfully down the side of her face.

Inuyasha's posture remained fixed over an hour after Kaede finally fell asleep. He curled his fingers around Kagome's shoulder and pressed his cheek to her forehead and bangs, his own hair atop hers. She was stiff. Her breath was a small arctic breeze on his neck. He trembled.

Inuyasha slipped his other hand around her waist and leaned back against the wall, drawing her with him. His hair fell back from his face and slid off her head. He stretched out his folded legs. He slid his hand down her arm from her shoulder and rested his elbow on her lower back. Inuyasha exposed his face to the dying fire. It crackled lugubriously, adding to the already rueful mood.

"Haaa..." Inuyasha shuddered, his nose starting to run. He eased Kagome's head to rest in the groove of his neck. She was so lifeless. It scared him and ripped his living heart out. It was so tangible, he could hear it beating outside his body.

He had failed again. Inuyasha bit his bottom lip until it bled. He had failed to protect the ones he loved. Why was it that those he cared for always suffered the most? Why???

The assassin was so devious and strong, Inuyasha suspected Naraku to be involved. The demented bastard couldn't keep his hands off filth like Kano. It made Inuyasha want to hurl. Just wait until he got his comeuppance. Inuyasha thought he would gladly go to hell just to witness Naraku's punishment. Killing him once wouldn't be nearly satisfying enough.

A question popped into Inuyasha's head. How would he live without Kagome? Her presence had become so natural, he'd never questioned it until today. What would it be like without her? He opened his mouth to breath and chocked on the lump in his throat. His golden eyes were sparkling. What would he do?

Inuyasha sat pondering the question blankly. He had no answer. It surprised him. Of course, he didn't consider such things everyday, but he was undeniably astounded at his lack of response. He'd never thought Kagome would ever hold such a profound effect over everything he did. Naturally, he carried strong feelings for her. He could no longer fully bury the idea. It was painfully evident at this point.

Then there was the sacred jewel to consider. It would be near impossible to find and Naraku would have the full advantage. Then that bastard would probably complete it and become a full demon. Then what would he do? How could he hope to defeat him? Unless,... unless Kikyo helped him find the jewel.

She was the only other person capable of detecting it. But Kikyo,... Kikyo confused him. She had purposefully avoided him, punished him with a would-be lifetime binding spell, and died for him. He was dedicated to her. He loved her deep down and owed her his life. It wasn't the clingy, but volatile dedication he allowed Kagome. Kagome was his best friend. He protected her, stood by her, and cared for her. That much was clear to him.

Inuyasha gazed down at Kagome's crystal face. It was placid. He gently rubbed his thumb up along her chin and across her cheek. Her face wasn't as glacial as the rest of her. He extracted his eyes from the death pose. He couldn't stand to look at her like this. He felt his heart bursting in his chest. He sniffled his nose. One more tear escaped his stronghold and splashed down on Kagome's face.

The fire wisped out in a final cough of smoke swirling towards the heavens. The gray cloud loomed like a specter in the middle of the room. The celestial moonlight was the only source of illumination now. It's eerie blue rays trickled through the doorway and danced on the smoke particles that moved like fluid in a lava lamp, slowly up and gracefully down. Inuyasha had seen a lava lamp before; Kagome had shown it to him. It had been blue with a pale yellow goo bubbling up and down its conical figure. Why was he remembering this now? He stared, watery eyed, over across the room.

The pain was so profuse. Kagome hadn't been beyond his reach long enough when Kiokotsu had poisoned her for him to reach this state. However, looking back at it now, he was pretty sure he would have reacted the same. Except this time he got to say goodbye on his terms. No one was watching. No one could observe his tears and excruciating agony. No one could judge him. He hadn't had this chance with Kikyo. She had sent him away from her. She had died independently. She had shunned him. She had cared for him. She had tried to kill him. She had kissed him. She had freed him. She had caged him.

"Kagome," Inuyasha's voice was unsteady, "don't die. You want to stay with me don't you? Don't you?" his voice limped to a whisper.

Kagome felt like a giant ice sickle falling from the roof of a house. She was still falling into the void. The wind scratched at her eyes, but they felt like they were drying out now. She hugged herself to try to keep warm. It was agonizing to move her icy rigid limbs.

She felt herself giving in again. It would be so nice to sleep. The pain shooting through her still living cells was unbearable. Her hands and feet were already covered with frostbite. It was biting her nose, lips, and ears too. If she could just rest, it'd all go away. But every time she slid her eyes shut, something ruffled against her. Something tugged, squeezed, or touched her. It was strong, fervent, and warm, whatever it was. Not that it really mattered that her eyes stayed open, there was absolutely nothing to see. It only made her eyes burn anyway, but the tormenting touch always returned to make sure she remained wide eyed.

"Errrr!" Kagome growled. Another warm squeeze around her arms and torso provoked her to kick or slap or hurt whatever it was. "Would you stop that?!" She shouted at nothing in particular. Something moved down her arm.

She cried feebly. "Inuyasha is gonna make you pay. Inuyasha will get revenge you sick demon. Inuyasha will..."

Kagome was cut off as a drop of something wet anointed her head. She looked up. She gasped. Above her was Inuyasha's face. It was far above her. It appeared as though she were viewing from underneath a pool of water. The lighting around him was dim and outlined his silver hair with a hazy blue glow. His eyes were teary and he looked deeply distressed. However, since the watery viewing glass she observed from kept flowing, the light changed constantly. It flickered and bounced about on the active surface, distorting his face.

He was getting smaller; she was falling deeper. Everything was getting colder and darker. She was losing consciousness.

"No," she moaned. "No, I want to see him. I want to be with Inuyasha." Kagome was desperate. She might lose him forever, him and herself. She nearly broke her arm in two, it was frozen stiff, forcing it to reach up. Her arm screamed in anguish and made splintering noises. She grimaced, fighting back frozen tears. She had to reach up to him.

"Ahhh..." she cried weakly. Her fingers and wrist started to shakily rise up. The frost bite was so bad now she couldn't feel her toes or fingers. Her very eyes were freezing. She felt the jagged ice crystals puncture the gelatin of her eye. It sent shrilling stings and stabs up and down her spine. Her elbow started to bend. It lurched up with a crackling noise and seemed to shatter the joint within her solidified flesh. "Ah!" she wailed. She gritted her teeth, biting down hard. Blood gushed up from white cracks in the stretched pink flesh of her gums. It seeped through her smooth enamel teeth, but froze quickly, forming small staining rivers of black and scarlet. Her neck muscles constricted at the stitches.

She tried to breath deep, but her lungs sucked in short pants and exhaled immediately. The light in her eyes was fading, she could feel the darkness creeping in through the expanding ice. Inuyasha was disappearing. In a few moments, he would be gone from sight. The black ocean of dry water was forcing her down.

Again an absurd thought raced across her mind. How can I be sinking if ice floats in water? No! No more chemistry! Chemistry didn't apply in her nightmares. And strangely enough, her body stopped sinking. Ok, that's weird, but I still have to get to Inuyasha. Her arm was wrought with agony, but it didn't matter. Her body was destroyed anyway. She didn't know how this would seem ok to her in any other situation, but she'd accepted it. So she stretched up, expecting at any moment, that one of her brittle fingers would snap off. Her shoulder throbbed with the pressure she used forcing it to bend. Bend, bend just a bit further. Her arm quivered at a forty five degree angle with her body. Her shaky fingers would reach his face, just a bit higher. Almost there...

A splintering crack rippled through the air. Her mouth curled down and her eyes bugged out. A large fissure split across her arm near the shoulder. It skipped along her puncture wounds. The pain was piercing and overwhelming. Her white dead skin was dyed in her crimson blood. She was paralyzed staring at it. Layers of flesh and muscle were exposed.

Her eyes blinked in slow succession and then as though on hyper overdrive. She stopped. Glanced back up at Inuyasha. His face was staring at something distant.

She strove again to conquer the undefinable realm and reach him. However, she quickly withdrew her arm when a bolt of pain ripped through it.

"Ah!!!" Kagome had never felt so much pain. It chewed up her legs. It hacked at her shoulder. It dug into her eyes. Her lungs rasped. Inuyasha.

Kagome clasped her eyes shut as tight as she could. She drew in a single breath. Her voice started slow and then grew in intensity and strength as she let loose all her pent up emotion.

"hhhhaaaaaaAAAAAAA!" she yelled determinedly as her arm shot straight up. A moment passed. Her eyes popped open. Her arm was at a full ninety degree angle, except that her elbow refused to straighten. A tear rolled down and kissed her ear. Inuyasha was still gazing off elsewhere. Kagome forced her frozen fingers to touch his face. Slowly, painfully they obeyed.

Kagome's fingers bumped against his solid chin. She could not feel his smooth skin, but felt his blazing warmth on her solidified digits. She gasped. She was resurfacing. The water ran off until she blinked her eyes and his face was inches from hers. The remaining water slipped out in tears.

He was staring down at her, his amber eyes wide with shock. His hair was coated in the pale moonlight and it cloaked him in an unearthly glow. Everything else was still fuzzy, but the darkness was receding into the corners of the room. Her fingers remained glued to his face. The warm air about her embraced her flesh, not to mention Inuyasha's radiating warmth. The pain was dissipating. She breathed heavily. She was back.

The paralyzed pair remained there for a few seconds, each trying to comprehend the reality of the situation. Inuyasha broke the deadlock. As though his breath had been caught in his throat, he finally released it in one word.

"Kagome." His eyes were still wide, but instead of piercing into her, they darted about her. Her body remained rigid. She didn't know if she could use it still; her nightmare had been so real. Inuyasha scooped his arms beneath hers and wrapped them around her back, pulling her into an intimate hug.

Kagome's body remained limp as a doll in Inuyasha's arms. She sat stupefied with her chin resting on his shoulder. After a minute, she tested her arms. The numbness was absolving and she returned Inuyasha's squeezing embrace. She let his warmth melt her glacial skin. It was heavenly. She closed her eyes in contentment, he was alright, that was all that mattered.

Inuyasha felt yet another tear cascade down his cheek. It landed in Kagome's silky black hair. His arms clutched her as they had before. He was sure she would die. He had been preparing for the years of aggrieving guilt and torture. He would lose her forever. It stabbed his soul.

He didn't know how she survived. All he could think about was the cleansing relief that rushed through him from her cool frame and pulsed through his veins. She was alive. The death scent was gone. He had a second chance.

Inuyasha's hands slid down off her back and rested at his sides. He pulled away from her in order to observe her. Her face was still glazed and pale. However, it was returning to its young lively color. Her scent was healthy again. She was just cold.

"Are you alright?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes," she returned a weak smile.

Inuyasha was wide awake. He was so intense and focused. Kagome noticed it in his attitude and demeanor. Still, she sensed a cloud of guilt wavering over his agitated face. It made her even more tired. There would be time for guilt and forgiveness later.

Kagome propped herself up on one hand, with her legs resting on the floor. Inuyasha watched her slowly blink her eyes. Her hand slipped and she nearly tumbled to the floor. Inuyasha caught her and sat her back up. Her eyes fluttered.

"Oh, I'm... I'm so exhausted." She answered his searching eyes.

"Go to sleep," he said releasing her gently, "I'll get you more blankets."

"Thanks," she said unable to remove her eyes from him. Inuyasha rose from the floor and picked up the covers that Kaede refolded hours earlier. He opened them up and carefully set them over Kagome who had laid down. Her eyes were slits. She smiled as the blankets rested on her.

"Inuyasha," she called, "stay by me tonight." Her earthy eyes settled on him.

Inuyasha paused from walking to the wall perpendicular to her. He pivoted. His bare feet padded softly over the floor. He huddled down next to her, easily within touch. He folded his hands in his lap and bowed his head to better view her.

A grin split Kagome's lips and relaxed her tired face. A small hand crept from under the covers and grasped one of Inuyasha's. He let out a painful smile and squeezed her fingers lovingly. She was whisked away by sleep and held her smile, afraid to let it go. She'd almost lost it forever.