Don't own Inuyasha!
Chapter 17: Recovery
Kagome was running. All she knew was she was running; she couldn't stop. It hurt too much. Her chest was throbbing. He was chasing her. Everything was so dark. She couldn't see anything around her or the ground beneath her feet.
Kagome was so scared. Her heart was pounding. She glanced behind her to see him lunging at her. She panicked.
Move body! Move! Run! Run! RUN!!! Kagome heard her voice echo in the confines of her mind. Her self pleading did nothing to improve her slow-motion-locked body.
With a horrible scream it was all over. His livid moon like eyes sparkled at her as his claws ruptured through her chest.
"INUYASHA!!!"
Kagome sat up with a deep breath and drove a hand to her chest. She cringed, biting back severe pain that spurted through it. Her eyes opened only to be greeted by darkness. No, wait, there was light. It was dim dusky light. She was in some sort of cave...
It was a dream? Just a dream.. she breathed out while trying to calm her heart. Her body was stiff and her chest hurt like no other. It couldn't have been just a dream.
Kagome stared down at her chest. She removed a small blanket that settled over her body. Her chest was bandaged several times over. She gasped and pulled up the small blanket. She wasn't wearing anything but her underwear. Who had undressed her and bandaged her? How did she get here? Where was Inuyasha?
Kagome searched her surroundings for some sort of clue. She was sitting on a small wool mat. The cold rock cave was fairly desolate. It lead nowhere she could tell. Kagome tried to turn about, but caught her breath from the pain. Again she twisted herself about. The opening was a wall of light. She couldn't see anything outside.
On the floor lay charred fire wood and extra fuel, a roll of bandages, and some herbs. Next to her mat lay a small dish with rice and chopsticks. A small kettle full of water rested beside it.
Kagome pulled her blood-matted hair behind her ear and picked up the small offering. It was cold, but still good. Any food would have appealed to her.
After she had finished, Kagome tried to remember the events of the previous night. It was all fuzzy, but she remembered leaving the village to chase Kohaku, then running into Sesshomaru, and then... What happened then? She strained trying to remember.
Her dream... Inuyasha had come after her. He had come to kill her. No! That couldn't be true. But, her heart gave an ache, it felt true... No, her eyes glided about the room as though searching it for the answer, someone had tricked her. Someone... someone had impersonated Inuyasha. A memory flashed before her eyes of Inuyasha, bare chested, with a terrible look in his eyes. Then another Inuyasha appeared, nearly naked... in demon form! She gasped.
Yes she remembered. Her eyes darted to the side. It was all there. Who had impersonated him? Kano? But why? He already took her spiritual power and her jewel shards. If he had wanted anything else why wouldn't he have taken it before? Why wait until now? It didn't make sense. Unless.. unless it wasn't Kano after all. Kagome pondered with no sensible solution.
A small smile spread across her face. Sesshomaru... He had tried to warn her. It was all so obvious now. She felt so stupid, simple minded. It hurt so bad. No matter how hard she tried she was always somehow behind everyone else. Then again, he could have just taken the time to tell her the man wasn't Inuyasha... Or did he?
Kagome frowned, trying to remember clearly. It didn't matter now. All that mattered was finding Inuyasha again and regrouping with Miroku and Sango. But she wasn't exactly in any shape to go out and find them just yet.
"You're awake," a voice greeted from the mouth of the cave. Kagome swerved around to see who was there. She cringed from the pain in her chest and squinted up at the tall black figure. The light blinded her, but Kagome didn't need to see her face to realize who stood before her.
"K-Kikyo," Kagome gasped.
"You should lie down and rest or you will open your wounds." The priestess kneeled down next to her. In her hands lay her school uniform, neatly folded, clean, and sewn up.
"You,... you saved me..." Kagome's relief was mixed with shock.
Kikyo just gazed down at her with empty mahogany eyes. She wetted a wash cloth and padded Kagome's forehead gently.
"You must rest," she said blankly, "Save your strength." Kagome laid down and stared at the rocky ceiling. Kikyo continued to wipe her forehead, then her right shoulder. Judging by how many times Kikyo rang the cloth out, she guessed that she must be covered in blood and dirt.
"I need a bath," Kagome sighed, closing her eyes wearily.
"It would do you good," Kikyo agreed. Kagome snapped her eyes open to catch the last remnants of a grin on Kikyo's face before it absolved to her normal indifference. Kagome incredulously glared at Kikyo. Did she just... "You have good color in your face," Kikyo's eyes softened, "that's a good sign." Kagome dropped her mock anger. She raised a pale hand to her face. She must have lost a lot of blood. She felt so weak.
"Who was it, Kikyo?" Kagome asked as though she were asking for help with a cross word puzzle. Kikyo stopped and just gazed down at Kagome. Kagome did not return her glance, but simply kept her eyes on her hand.
Kikyo didn't move, but seemed to be contemplating the situation.
"I know that you know," Kagome said, staring into Kikyo's eyes. A long expectant pause followed. Kagome's fiery eyes dug for answers.
"Inuyasha," she finally answered. Kikyo's eyes grew hazy.
"No," Kagome shook her head, "he couldn't have."
"Does it hurt too much for you to accept?" Kikyo's eyes were intense and penetrating. Kagome's mouth opened slightly, then she looked away. Guilt invaded her from all sides. Kikyo had faced a similar betrayal many years ago with that exact outcome... Kagome felt Kikyo's eyes on her, but was unwilling to meet them.
"Naraku," Kikyo said emotionlessly.
Kagome's eyes looked off to the side with no show of surprise. Wasn't that the same name Kagome had given Kikyo only so long ago in the hope that Kikyo wouldn't take Inuyasha from her? The motives were still unclear to her, but nothing was ever very clear when it came to Naraku. Besides, why should Kikyo lie? It wasn't like she saw Kagome as competition for Inuyasha or as a priestess. If she did, wouldn't she have left her to die? Even more interesting was why had Kikyo chosen her. No doubt she could have easily taken Inuyasha and just let her bleed to death. Why had Kikyo not taken him? She still loved him, that much was obvious. Maybe she was taking care of Inuyasha too somewhere else where she could be alone with him... But that seemed somewhat irrational. Kikyo had no problems being intimate with him in front of her before. Kagome sighed to herself and just lay there staring at the wall.
Then there was Naraku. Kagome frowned to herself. Why on earth would he impersonate Inuyasha? What possible reason could he have to get close to her? Well, as Inuyasha so readily pointed out, she was a jewel detector. But he never seemed to have too much trouble searching out the jewels on his own. Why would that have changed?
Kagome bit her lip. He... he had kissed her too. Her face scrunched up as though she bit down on a lemon. He had done more than just kissed her. Traces of horror laced into Kagome's already pale face. She dug through her memories to try to pinpoint exactly what had happened. He hadn't, he definitely hadn't, done anything serious... had he? No, she wouldn't have let him. She wouldn't ever let Inuyasha get that far... would she? Her face went slightly pink as doubt slunk in. She did remember having to adjust her underwear and pull her skirt back up. That one fleeting thought was enough to paint her face cherry red.
A hidden enigma snapped Kagome back onto her trail of reasoning. Why would he seduce her? Naraku never seemed to keep attachments. He never showed emotion for anyone, not his incarnations, not even Kikyo who he supposedly loved because of Onigumo's heart. Kagome could hardly believe he would develop feelings for her, especially in such a short time. And yet he had protected her, cared for her, shown love for her, even obeyed her. Not once had he laid a finger on her to harm her. He had let Inuyasha do that instead. He could have killed her... Why had he not?
Naraku had some important reason for doing what he did. He had gone out of his way to maintain her and Inuyasha's relationship, even to build it up. He had acted so tender, loving, responsive, and mature. Looking back on it, she should have been able to tell. Kagome's heart missed a beat. Maybe– maybe she didn't notice because she wanted it to be him. She had been so desperate, so ready for him to come around that... that she would give herself to Naraku. Inuyasha's rejection, betrayal, and immaturity plus her own hunger and deep longing for him to return her love had caused this. Was she so desperate...? It tore at Kagome's heart. She no longer felt the pain from her injuries, but this new deep ache hacking at her heart and setting her eyes to stream tears and breathing to muffle. Who... Who am I? Really?
A long time had past since Kikyo spoke with Kagome. While Kagome turned on her side to rest and think over the news of Naraku, Kikyo sat a few feet away stoking a small fire. It was just after sunset and Kikyo had prepared the herbs for when Kagome's bandage would be changed. The crackling flames burst light onto the dead priestess's young yet timeless face. She undid her hair band and kneeled before the small light. The girl hadn't spoken a word in hours and Kikyo respected the silence. No doubt she needed time to sort things out and heal.
A small sound aroused Kikyo's attention to the other side of the cave. Kagome had started to weep and sniffle. Kikyo's sad eyes fell onto the heartbroken girl before her. Why was she crying? Kikyo soundlessly rose and perched herself near where Kagome lay.
"Kagome?" Kikyo cooed. The girl tried to stifle her crying, but only sniffled louder. Kikyo landed a hand lightly on Kagome's shoulder. Kagome sat up almost abruptly. Kikyo held her ground as the red eyes and tear stained face anxiously peered pleadingly up at her.
"K..K.Kikyo..o," Kagome slurred as her teary eyes shone up at the priestess, "W..what do..oo you th..think of me? Am I, am I just a s..stupid desperate girl?"
Kikyo was paralyzed for a moment by the sheer emotion in Kagome's voice and eyes. She had never seen the girl like this before. She was... pitiful. Kikyo's mouth opened a little, but found herself speechless.
"Who am I? I,..I don..n't know an..nymore" Kagome's voice cracked.
Kikyo breathed out, unsure of how to exactly answer her.
Kagome's eyes rained tears and then fell to the cold unfeeling ground. She hunched over and her body shook with her sobs. She plastered her hands to her face as her cries escaped. Kikyo leaned in and pulled one arm about her left shoulder, to try to reach the distant girl. To her surprise, Kagome turned toward her and looped her arms about Kikyo in a hug as she released a torrent of sobs. Kikyo didn't know how to react for a moment, but then slowly returned the embrace and kindly rubbed Kagome's back. The girl was absolutely unconsolable.
"No one can tell you who you are," Kikyo began, "it's something only you can decide." Kagome's sobs weakened though her body still shook. "The world is cruel. Sometimes the fairest part of life is death, when we find out that none of it really matters. But it does matter, if you make it matter. You will never be stupid or desperate so long as you don't believe it yourself. So don't believe it. It's not worth wasting your life on." Kagome's tears were silent, but she still held onto Kikyo tightly. Her head weighed against Kikyo's shoulder, resting in her hair. Kagome's breathing returned to normal and her sniffling lessened.
Kagome finally released Kikyo and then wiped her eyes. She slowly removed her arm and peered up at Kikyo again.
"You.. you don't think I'm weak, Kikyo?" Her eyes shone from excessive tears. Kikyo's intense eyes held her gaze before responding.
"No," Kikyo replied softly.
Kagome continued to rub her eyes. She had let out so much pain. She gave Kikyo a weak smile of gratitude.
"Rest, Kagome," Kikyo advised, "you need to heal. Tomorrow you can return to your friends."
Kagome nodded and laid back down. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Something in Kikyo's eyes told Kagome that she knew exactly how she felt; she knew exactly what had happened. Even though Kagome and Kikyo's history had not been the happiest, Kagome felt that the dead priestess was the only one who saw that she was alive.
Out of all the people she would bring her broken heart to mend... Kikyo. None of it made sense, but Kagome felt at an odd sort of peace and understanding with her. It was certainly true Kikyo had been hostile to her before, even tried to kill her, when Kagome had never wronged Kikyo or resented her for stealing Inuyasha's love. And yet here she was, gathering the shards of Kagome's heart and helping her regain her vitality.
Kagome smiled to herself before surrendering to sleep. The woman who Kagome was so often compared to, expected to live up to, didn't think she was weak. Maybe she shouldn't be so hard on herself. Her life had meaning. Maybe she.. maybe she... should just sleep.
Kagome adjusted her covers, closed her eyes to the crackling fire, and lost sight of her mysterious attendant.
Author's Note: hellooooo. Long time... very long time since I updated this story. Thought I'd see how many bites I get. I got a review just recently asking me to continue. Is this correct?