Title: Where'd You Go
Author: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie
Disclaimer: I own nada, song, 4 AM Forever, belongs to the Lost Prophets.
Rating: K to M
Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU
Fandom(s): J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, Cassio, LnL2)
Archiving: Just ask.
Summery: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.
Author's Note: Sorry for the wait, for some reason, had a case of writers block though half the chapter was done. Anyway, heres the next chapter. Unsure about this song too but I was listening to it as I wrote the last part and I thought it worked.
Author's Note Two: This chapter has been revised and beta-ed. I just want to thank to Tiffany for all of her work. Thank you so much! All remaining mistakes are my own!
Part Two: 4 AM Forever
Yesterday I lost my closest friend
Yesterday I wanted time to end
I wonder if my heart will ever mend
I just let you slip away
4 AM forever
When I hear her voice, I hear her half laughs and her half sobs and I felt the same way. She was my sister in every way that matter, even if it wasn't in blood. Taking a breath, I knew if I didn't get this out, I'd burst out crying. I needed her; she was the only one who could help me now. I had to get home. Soon and fast. Taking a breath, I start.
"Carly, I need your help okay, I'm in Canada some where, I'm not sure where yet, but I need you to get someone to trace this call, and then you have to come get me. Okay, I need you to help me before someone gets wise that I am gone."
I say it in a rush and I know most of the things I said were probably gibberish but I know she understands. WE understood each other on some level most people didn't. Taking a breath, I look around for clues that someone was watching me, luckily, most people's attention seems to be on the top of the hill where the house had been swallowed by the sink hole. I listen closely, listening for any sign of life still on the other line and I almost thought she had hung up when I heard her voice.
"I...I can't believe your alive."
Was all she said and I smiled, because I knew what she thought, my captors had told me my family thought I died after I gave birth to my son. Part of me almost wished that was true but now, I was more then happy to be alive because I knew soon I'd be back in my family's arms. Taking a breath, I look around and smile for the first time in a long time.
"I am, and now you have to get me back to Port Charles, where my son is and where my family is."
I mummer and I heard her smile over the line, and I heard the sniffles and the tissues coming out of the box. I knew she was trying to get herself under control.
"You're right...I'll be there Courtney, as soon as I get this call traced, I'm on the next flight and you're coming home with me. You...You just stay where you are."
She mummers and I nod, as if she could see me because at this moment, if I said one word, I knew it'd be broken and full of tears because I was so close, so close to being where I was supposed to be.
"S...Stay where you are okay, and don't worry, who ever did this will pay Courtney and they'll never get their hands on you again."
She says fiercely and I knew that was true. Most people would have hung up if their dead friend had called them but not Carly. She had known and believed it was me from the beginning and she had no idea how much that meant to me. That she believed me without a shadow ofdoubt and here she was about to risk her own life to save mine.
"I will Carly...I promise."
I mummer into the phone, getting my voice back to normal and I get ready to hang up and I knew Carly was going to do the same because she needed to get this call traced. But before she does, I stop her.
"I love you Carly."
I whisper and I heard her mixture of a laugh and a sob again.
"I love you too."
She whisper and we both hung up at the same time and I look around the town again, trying to figure out where to go from here. I didn't want to go far from the pay phone, so I looked around it and I spot a small bar. It would have to do and I was sure they had some food and drinks my stomach was craving, plus a bathroom I could run into and change. I begin to walk towards it.It felt as if my life had started all over again.
Maybe I'll never see you smile again
Maybe you thought that it was all pretend;
All these words that I could never say
I just let them slip away
4 AM forever
Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, you never know
Hold a little tighter
4 AM forever
I lifted my head from where it had been, my eyes felt as if someone had thrown salt inside of them. Sighing, I sit up and rub my palms against my eyes, feeling my cell phone drop into my lap as I do. Once I could blink without wincing, I pick it up and look at it. Feeling the urge to throw it again, seeing as it was blank, a reminder I had nothing waiting for me. Leaning back against the couch with a thud, I sigh. My worry eating my stomach and I felt I might throw up.
Taking a few deep breaths though, I stop the urge and just lean forward, putting my head in my hands. I needed to see him, I needed to know he was alright but it was as if I wouldn't get that chance tonight. Looking up, I see the clock above the table and reading it to be 4:30 AM. Getting up once more, I look at the door where my husband was laying and I could hear snores coming through which meant he was 'dead' to the world. I would have just preferred dead at this point. Shaking my head, I go to the kitchen and get my purse. Opening it, I pulled out my credit card and ID.. Putting them in my Sponge Bob PJ pants, I grab my car keys.
I needed to get the hell out of here, away from him. Away from my tears and worry. I would go see Spinelli or Carly or my dad. Anyone. Anyone who could take my mind off my worry. Going to the fridge, I grab a bottle of water for the trip and then head to the bathroom. Once I finish, I stop at the mirror and sigh. Looking at the red in my eyes. Closing my eyes, I lean against the sink and turn on the water. After I finish washing my hands, I cup my hand beneath the lukewarm water and splash it on my face. Ignoring the small splats of water that were now on my old white t-shirt. One I wore often just because it smelt like him, one Logan thought was his I had stolen. Logan's I washed, this one just sat in my dresser and on nights like this, I pulled it out to wear.
Shaking my head, I grabbed my pretty sponge bob toothbrush and my favorite Aqua fresh toothpaste, stuff Logan thought was cheap and no good. He was a Colgate person...shaking my head, I begin to brush my teeth with more force than was probably needed. Once I felt somewhat clean, I swish some water and then mouth wash before spitting one last time . After that was done, I cleaned my mouth and face with a damp rag before grabbing my hair and putting it up in a messy bun. I looked liked crap or like I had cried more tears than was humanly possible. Both were how I felt so I decided to skip the make up.
Walking back out, I grab my keys, still unsure if I would walk or drive, and my bottled water. Shutting the door as quietly as possible, and I head down the stairs and away from all of this.
Maybe one day when I can move along
Maybe someday when you can hear this song
You won't let it slip away
4 AM forever
And I'd wish the sun would never come
It's 4 AM and you are gone
I knocked on the door as hard as I could. He had to answer; we had to go, soon. He had to get Spinelli to trace this number and get the plane ready so we could go. We had to do this fast because I didn't want to wait a second longer then I had to. There was no way I was going to do that. No way.
"Open up, Jason, it's me!"
I yell through the door, and when it opens, I look at an angry Elizabeth, little miss perfect. I roll my eyes and shake my head, walking past her, yell up the stairs.
"JASON!"
I call again but when I feel a hand wrapped around my arm, I almost thought I was going to have to hit the mother of my best friend's son. Elizabeth and I had never seen eye to eye, which wasn't hard to explain. She thought she was perfect and I thought she was nothing but a two-bit tramp. I look at her and then at the hand on my arm before jerking it out of her hand.
"Carly, my son is upstairs, what in the hell do you need with Jason at 5 in the morning."
She says in a tone I have come to despise, that tone that said she was better then everyone and anyone in this town and there was no way she'd ever let anyone forget it. Taking a breath, I hold back my anger, knowing Jason wouldn't want me going off on her.
"Not that it is any of your business but I found something out and I need Jason's help. So either go get him or I'm going to yell again."
I tell her, keeping more of my anger from my voice, but I was still snappy. After all, it was who I was and who I was when I was with her. She had no idea how much of a bitch I could be, and now that my best friend, my sister's life was on the line, she had no idea what she was about to get herself into.
"Fine."
She says coldly and I am thankful she hadn't tried to fight me on this, but before she got up two steps, Jason was coming down, pulling the black t-shirt over his head. I give him a smile and rush over to him, grabbing his arms and pulling him down the steps, pushing Elizabeth out of the way as I do.
"Jason, Jason, you need to call Spinelli right away, like right now."
I tell him excitedly and try and pull my words together because after the rushed speech I gave Jax, who had been confused when I left at 5 o'clock in the morning. Definitely the earliest he had ever seen me up unless I hadn't gone to bed all night. I had to make Jason understand this or he'd never listen to me and without him, I'd get no where.
"Carly, it's early, so unless it is important, I'm going to let Spinelli sleep."
He was always the rational one but this was important, so I dug my cell phone from my pocket and pushed into his hand with a smile. Once he heard this, I knew he'd start on it right away, after all, even if him and Courtney were divorced, they held a place in their heart for each other. Not to mention, I still always had the hope they'd be smart and get back together, because even if they didn't see it, they were perfect for each other, but that wasn't the point. The point was that I had to find her and bring her back home where she belonged. Where her family was, where her son was, and where she would be safe from whoever did this.
"It's important, it's life and death Jason. Courtney's life or death."
I say in a rush, something that I had been sure I wouldn't do but this was too big to be rational, he'd figure it out. If anyone could figure me out when I was like this, it was Jason. He had a knack for it.
"Carly, Courtney died, almost 3 years ago, remember?"
He asks as if I was crazy, or drunk. It couldn't be either, but he didn't understand, but I'd make him understand. Cause I needed him for this, Sonny, Sonny wouldn't believe me, but I knew if I proved it, Jason would.
"No, no she's isn't dead Jason. Sh...She called me."
I say and I shake these damn tears away because tonight, or today, depending on who you talked too, was a day to be happy. I was getting my best friend back, my sister, and soon, my family would be complete and happy again.
"Tonight, Jason, she called me. She's in Canada, but she wasn't sure where, so you need to call Spinelli and have him trace the call from my home phone, got it."
I say and pushed my cell phone toward him and run a jerky hand through my hair. I spotted Elizabeth over his shoulder, looking pale as a ghost and I smirked to myself. She knew what that meant, soon Jason would dump her ass and find happiness where it always was for him, but then again, I couldn't get ahead of myself. Once Courtney was here, I would begin the plan to make this happen, until then I needed to wait.
"Call him Jason!"
I shout but he only continued to look at the phone, as if he was trying to get his head around my words.
I hope you know you're letting go
It's 4 AM and I'm alone
Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
I looked around the darkness and tried to get a bearing on where I was. I had been walking for a long time, too long, but at least I was away from the house. Taking a breath, I fall onto the bench, knowing I was in the park then. Where we had started that night so long ago. When I had thought he was crazy and trying to kill me. That was until I got to know him. Shaking my head at the memory, I opened my water and took a long swig, then look up at the stars after I put the cap back on. Wishing he was here with me.
After a few moments, I look around and decide to get up. Standing up, I start to head towards the way I came but before I get very far, I bump into someone in the darkness. I reached for my keys, and the small pepper spray he had bought me before he left a few months ago. I look up and I nearly faint, but instead I dropped my keys and I jump into waiting arms. Holding him as tight as I could.
"Oh god, for once...for once my wish came true."
I whisper as I wrapped my arms around his neck and hold on for dear life. I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or if this was real but I didn't really care either way. He was here, I was here, and that was good enough for me.
"You better be glad I'm happy to see you, or I'd be yelling at you for being out here alone."
He mummers against my neck and I only smiled and leaned back to kiss him, putting all my emotions, bad and good, into the kiss. I feel his tongue tangling with mine. It felt like I was home, home finally.
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, you never know
Hold a little tighter
Why don't you hear me when I'm calling out to you (to you)
Why don't you listen when I try to make it through (to you)
I look at the phone pressed in my hand and I sigh because none of this made sense. None of it all. Courtney was dead, I had been at the funeral, I had been there, and I had grieved for her. Watched my best friends grieve for her. None of this was real though. It couldn't be. I look at Carly and shake my head.
"This has to be a hoax Carly, Courtney is dead."
I tell her and when she looks at me, I wince. I could see the hurt and anger in her eyes. I knew she wasn't going to let this go. She couldn't because she was Carly and if she believed her best friend was out there, she'd do anything to make sure she came home.
"Fine, you know what, don't help me. I don't need it, I'll call Spinelli on my own, and then I'll go find Courtney. If something happens to me or her, oh well right, because she's supposedly already dead."
She says and she turns on her heal, I already knew what she was doing, she was trying to guilt me. She always knew that it worked on me and I hated that, but what could I do? I knew she'd make good on her threat. So it wasn't only guilt, it was a promise.
"Fine, I'll call, but if this isn't real, then we put it out of our mind."
I tell her and shake my head, knowing she was only going to get her heart broke again because there was no Courtney anymore. She was gone and everyone knew it. But in the back of my mind, I knew Carly knew the difference. If Courtney had called, if Carly had heard her voice, then what if it was true? What if Courtney was alive? What did that mean? What did it mean for Emily, Nikolas, Spencer, Carly, Sonny, Jax, and most important, me?
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, you never know
Hold a little tighter
4 AM forever...