Title: Where'd You Go
Author: AbayJ aka Ashley Marie
Disclaimer: I own nada, song, The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most, belongs to the Dashboard Confessionals. Also, the transcript parts are from Journey Online.
Rating: K to M
Genre: Romance/Drama/Angst/Songfics/WIP/AU
Fandom(s): J-Lu & Journey (Hints: CarSon, CarJax, LuSam, Skate, Liason, LnL3, Jaxis, NiCo, Cassio, LnL2)
Archiving: Just ask.
Summery: Two couples deal with the reality's of life and how they can get past of so much pain and so many years of lies.
Author's Note: Finally, the Journey reunion! If only in real life...sigh. Anyways, enjoy this chapter, hopefully the next one won't take so long to get to you guys. My fault, life suck, then you die. :) A BIG thank you to Tiffany for beta-ing this chapter for me! Thanks so much! Remember read and view y'all!
Part Four: Hold Me
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places
I slowly lift my head off his chest and look at him. He looked so peaceful, sleeping there. I slowly run my hand up his chest to his face and brush my thumb against his cheek. Taking a breath, I stand up and grab his shirt that we had discarded sometime along the way and slide it on. Sighing as its softness covers me and his scent engulfs me.
Walking over to the bar, I picked up a glass and pour some cheap wine my father kept here. Taking a slow slip, I let my eyes wander back to him.
"OH!"
I say loudly and he smirks. Somehow I hadn't heard him sit up or felt him staring at me.
"My shirt looks a lot better on you then on me."
He says and reaches his arms up and slides them behind his head and I felt my heart trip over itself. Shaking my head, I take another sip of the wine, and I walk over to him, sitting next to him. He reaches up and takes the glass out of my hand. Taking a slow sip from where my mouth had been.
"I happen to think so too, because I'd rather see you without one."
I say as he takes a sip and I lean down, placing a soft kiss on his bare chest, my eyes lifting to look towards his. They connect and I was ready for him. As if I had been waiting for that look since I became a woman. No man affected me the way he did.
"You better stop or else we may not be able too..."
He whispered and slid his hand into my hair. I only smiled and slowly trailed my lips lower and over his firm abs, feeling them tremble beneath my lips.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Hey
More than angry words I hate this silence
It's getting so loud
Well I want to scream
But bitterness has silenced these emotions
I looked around and sighed. What in the hell was I doing here? But then again, it seemed like the safest place at the time. I felt eyes covering my body quickly and I nearly gagged. They all felt dirty, as if they were undressing me. Taking the back booth, I huddle into it and look at the waitress, if that was what you wanted to call her. Taking a breath I picked up the plastic menu, I see they didn't offer a lot. Less then Kelly's and I felt my stomach growl. It wasn't as if I could be picky, so I glanced up at her.
"Um, can I get the side salad and just a coffee and water."
I ask and she nods and smacks her gum before walking away, smirking, I long for the service of Kelly's. Even Elizabeth's when she had hated me had been better than hers. Shaking my head, I replay the words Carly had said and I believed her. Believed she would be coming after me. With who, I wasn't sure. The choices were large; there was Jason, Sonny, or even Jax. Either way, I didn't care., I just wanted to get home, to my son, to my family, where I belonged. Taking a breath, I lean back against the booth, holding up the thumb size photo of my son. He looked liked his father, had the strong cheekbones, the coloring, and his beautiful hair.
Tears sting the back of my eyes but I knew soon he'd be back with me. Where he belonged. Taking another breath, I look up at the waitress who slides my food and drinks to me.
"Buck up sweetie, you're bringing down the atmosphere."
She mutters before sashaying off once more. I just shake my head, praying Carly gets here soon. I needed to go back, I needed to get to my son before I lost him forever. Closing my eyes, I take a few steadying breaths and then open them and begin to eat. Focusing on just my movements.
It's getting hard to breathe
So tell me isn't happiness
Worth more than a golden diamond ring?
I'm willing to do anything
To calm the storm in my heart
I've never been the praying kind
But lately I've been down upon my knees
Not looking for a miracle
Just a reason to believe
"How much farther?"
she asked me for the fourth time and I took a breath, deciding to ignore the question. We were closer, closer then we had been five minutes ago, and she could figure that out herself. I knew we were closer than ever before because I felt her, whenever she was near, I knew. We had always had this connection. It was how we knew how to protect each other and even after all these years, I knew I was close to her. She was alive.
"Jason? Helloooo..."
She calls and waves a hand in my face. Knocking it away, I stand up and go the bar that was on the plane and pour myself a drink, taking a long sip.
"Yes Carly, we're almost there,"
I mummer and set the drink glass down and turn to her. Walking back to my seat and propping my feet up on the table in front of me. Closing my eyes, trying to figure out how we were all going to deal with this. How would anything stay the same now that Courtney was alive? Didn't Carly wonder about how her marriage, an invalid marriage, would survive Courtney coming back? It would change who Spencer's mother was and Nikolas and Emily's relationship. It would change everything.
"We're starting to land."
I heard the voice and it interrupted my thoughts. I knew we would deal, was all we could do and I should be happy, because the woman that made so many people happy wasn't dead. Instead she was very much alive, now if only that pesky voice inside my head would stop asking the same question over and over again. 'What would happen to me?'
"Here we go Jason, we're going to get Courtney back!"
Carly said happily and I felt a weariness come over me with her words, because the answer to my question was in her words. I was going to get Courtney back.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man
Do you remember not long ago?
When we used to live for the nighttime
Cherish each moment
I took a breath and looked down at him once more. He wasn't asleep but he seemed to be going into that dark place he went so often and instead of probing, I reached for my underwear, pants, and his shirt and slide them on. Walking around to the bar, I grabbed two bottles of water and walk back around, throwing one at him before curling up on the long bench that wasn't far off.
"When will you be to get away again?"
He asked and I jerk my head up. I didn't know honestly, the next time Logan went out? The next time when he'd be to drunk to notice I was missing and not to come looking for me. I shake my head and take a long sip of the water, setting it down before looking at him.
"I don't know, soon though."
I mummer and lean my head on my knees and look over at him with a smile.
"You?"
I ask and before he opened his mouth, I heard a crash and I jumped up. Johnny was already up and reaching for his gun.
"Whose there?"
He called out but when nothing came back, he held up his hand and went towards the sound. I grabbed the nearest thing, an empty wine bottle and I held it up but before I could use it, I felt a hand coming over my mouth.
"You lying whore..."
I heard the whisper and I tried to pull away but I couldn't. Instead, I opened my mouth and bit down hard on his hand and he screamed and let me go. Pulling away, I ran and found Johnny's pocketknife and flipping it open; I turned around to see Logan. A drunken smile plastered to his face.
I shook my head, thinking this was a dream and I let my arm go limp.
"Logan, what in the hell are you doing here!?"
I yell at him and I heard, well more like felt Johnny come back into the room.
"What, didn't you think I knew you were fucking this punk? God, just like your mother, a lying whore!"
I look at him in surprised, not because I was shocked at his words, but because he had said them in front of Johnny. But before I could come back at him, I felt the wind brush past me and saw Johnny's body flying past me and reaching for Logan's neck.
Now we don't live we exist
We just run through our lives
So alone
That's why you've got to hold me
Hey
If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defences
And secret hiding places
I took a breath as we stepped out of the car at the payphone where Carly had gotten the call. There were a few pubs she could have gone into and I decide it was best if Carly and I split up and call each other once we find her. She took the right and I took the left. Walking into the first one, I cringed at the smoke and acid taste and I stopped at the bar. Pulling out a well worn picture of our wedding, showing it to him. "Have you seen her?" I asked and he pointed to a made up woman. I nodded and went towards her.
"Hey handsome...need something?"
She asked with a fake smile that nearly blinding me with the rainbow red lipstick. I just nodded and showed her the picture.
"Aw, to bad, married huh?"
I just nodded once more.
"Have you seen her?"
I asked and she nodded.
"Yeah, the cute blond. She looks a bit older and the hair is longer but she's in the back booth."
She said.
"Thanks."
I tell her quickly and headed towards the booth and when I spotted her, our eyes locked and it was everything was in slow motion. One minute she was slowly getting up and the next she was in my arms. I held her tight and breathed her in. Forgetting where we were, forgetting the time, forgetting everything but the feeling of her in my arms again.
"Courtney."
I breathed and when she pulled back, I saw the tears.
"I knew you'd come for me, I knew you would."
She whispers and falls into my arms again and everything disappear. It was just the two of us again.
I might need you to hold me tonight
I might need you to say it's alright
I might need you to make the first stand
Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man