Emo Farm
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, its all credit to Kishimoto Masashi…bless his heart.
Fufufufu, I'm grounded but still updating….I feel so rebellious!
Rock Lee/Gai: YOUTHFULLNESS!!
Um…moving on…
Chapter Nine! Hai!
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"I caught up with her fairly easily," Itachi began, and she was understandably upset...she really liked this Suwa person, y'see. But I explained to her that I just couldn't have kids of Uchiha blood running around, and she seemed to agree. But she didn't want to abort—she wanted this kid. So I asked her to stay with me—"
Murtagh gasped, and objected, "What about Kisame?! I thought you promised him your heart for all eternity!"
Itachi shot him a cold glance, but it did nothing to quiet the giggles of the group. "That's the only gay Itachi joke you get," he said nastily, "Anyway, Aikawa was appalled at the thought. She said she'd go to Suwa and they'd raise the child without telling it who I was—"
"And what would they do if it unlocked the sharingan?" Hiroku tutted, "She's got Styrofoam for brains sometimes, that one."
"That's what I said," Itachi agreed, "But stop interrupting. She said I was welcome to stay with them—"
"A threesome!" Murtagh whooped. Itachi snapped. "Tsukiyomi!" he hissed, "You will now watch Aikawa deliver triplets in all its bloody glory for 24 hours!"
"Harsh," Gaara observed as Murtagh's face deadpanned for a few seconds. Then he blinked and pointed a shaking finger at Itachi. "You…are inhuman!"
"Serves you right," Orochimaru sniffed, "Itachi, continue."
"Yes…I told her I would only disturb them. The last thing a newly-wed couple needs is a third wheel, and a third wheel, moreover, that brings danger in his wake. I have odd times of sleeping, eating, returning home…they shouldn't have to put up with that, on top of having a child and making a living. Besides, I don't think I could bear …"
"A family?" Sasuke asked quietly, his eyes latched onto his brother's face.
"Such torture," Itachi finished, "So then she said they could live in a place I would visit frequently; that way I could watch over the child's life without interfering in the parenting."
"Having Itachi as a dad," Hirari whispered to Hiroku, "A nightmare for the kid." She stifled a chuckle.
"I agreed, and suggest the Hidden Leaf Village."
"What?" Sasuke said, stunned. Sai had an expression of mildly interested surprise, Gaara ran his hand through his hair, Hirari frowned, and Orochimaru laughed.
Hiroku sighed heavily, knowing what was coming next.
"I have much business in Konoha anyway," Itachi continued, "I've snuck in many times over the years to keep an eye on…my assets. I will continue to do so for this child, now, and when I'm not teaching it, Aikawa can rope in some other trusty ninja—Gai, or Kakashi-san. Of course, I have to inform the higher echelons of Akatsuki of this, and prepare for the child…and Aikawa wants me there at the birth, to name the child…"
"You're leaving Emo Farm to stay with them," Sasuke realized bitterly.
Itachi nodded. Murtagh, slowly coming out of the after-effects of tsukiyomi, commented, "So it will be a threesome," which was unusually unfunny for him, but they all put that down to being tsukiyomi'd.
Itachi gave a twitch of annoyance, but said nothing except, "Well then, so that's that, and that's settled."
"Its to early to leave, isn't it?" Hiroku said pleadingly, Hirari gripping her hand.
"I'll leave within a month," the Akatsuki member allowed, "I have business to take care of." Hiroku breathed a sigh of relief.
0000000zomglinebreaks00000000
"Hirari!
Hiroku!!" Sasuke yelled, enraged, "C'mere!!"
The
occupants of Emo Farm gathered in the chilly evening air of the front
yard in a circle.
"This rat," Sasuke hissed, shoving Sai into the middle, "This sneaky spy was writing to Konoha about us!"
Sai nodded. "It was a mission," he said lightly, a note of dejectedness creeping into his voice, "And the second I have failed."
Hiroku looked to Sasuke. "Whats the big deal?"
"He was sent as a spy!"
"He was invited, besides, this isn't exactly a top secret forbidden jutsu development centre," Hiroku reasoned, "So he writes home on orders. So what harm would it do?"
"They'll know about me!" Sasuke snarled.
Gaara scoffed. "Baka, they already do."
Murtagh nodded. "Yeah man, you're getting all hyped for nothing."
"If only he would show such enthusiasm in his training," Orochimaru muttered.
"But—"
"But nothing," Itachi said sternly, "Sasuke, you're making a scene. I don't know what your problem is. Is it that you feel you've betrayed your team by coming here and now you want to break off all relationships with them because you can't face them or…" he paused. By the subtle shift in Sasuke's face, it was apparent that that was his problem.
"Lame, Sasuke," Murtagh said, disappointedly shaking his head.
"I couldn't have said it better," Orochimaru tutted, "Itachi, he's your brother, put some sense into the idiot."
Hiroku and Hirari nodded their agreement and Gaara pulled Sai, who was just there in the centre of their circle, away.
"Sorry," Sai smiled winningly, "I'm socially clueless, or so ugly-dog Sakura-chan keeps telling me."
Gaara made a no-comment noise, and turned back to the Uchiha brothers.
Itachi sighed, and put a cool hand on Sasuke's flushed cheek. "Don't be stupid," he said softly, "They're your friends. You can't get rid of them so easily. And you know what? You did betray them, in their view. They don't know the details of the deal Orochimaru offered you. To them, you were stupid enough to leave Konoha and throw away your life just on the off-chance that you'd be able to kill me. Let Sai invite them…better yet, you invite them. Just your team, no one else. Let them know what's going on. You owe them that. You owe Naruto that."
Scarlet eyes met obsidian, and for a moment, Sasuke felt an insane urge to bury his head into the crook of Itachi's shoulder and sob his heart out, to hug his brother, laughing, complaining…just like they used to.
The moment passed. Itachi drew back, and Sasuke was left with the bleak destiny of being the one to end his nii-san's life.
"Alright," he said meekly. Itachi turned away, and damn it all if there wasn't a tear glinting in the corner of his eye.
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This chapter was less funny than most…and sorry for the uchihacest-y moment, but I can't have those two in a story and not put one in!
On a lighter note…I get to study for my zoology test tomorrow! sarcastic whoop