Emo Farm
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, no one sue me! –ducks head and hides behind Gaara plushie- Nooooo don't sue me!!
The Penultimate Chapter (dun, dun, dun)
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Naruto gripped the two letters tightly. In his right hand was Sasuke's farewell note (Dear loser, I've gone to live with Orochimaru on Emo Farm. Goodbye forever, Sasuke) and in his left was the invitation Sasuke had sent his team. (Dear Naruto, I'd really like it if you, Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei came to visit Emo Farm. Hope to see you soon, Sasuke.) His hands shook slightly.
"Naruto," Sakura said in the gentlest voice she'd ever used with him, "Its going to be okay. Don't worry."
But by the way she fidgeted with her own hands, and the frown she wore gave away the fact that she was just as unsure of what to expect as he was.
Kakashi threw his arms around both of them, pulling them into bear hug. "Guys," he drawled, "Relax. It's Sasuke! Just think, in another few hours we get to be called names, taken for granted and generally disrespected by him again! I can hardly stand the wait!"
Naruto and Sakura laughed, and they continued on their journey, emboldened by their sensei's words, to be a whole team once again.
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Sasuke froze as he glimpsed them. Sai stood beside him aimlessly, and Murtagh placed a reassuring hand on the Uchiha's shoulder.
"It'll be okay," he said, smiling, "Don't freeze up."
The trio approached Emo Farm, and despite Murtagh's words, Sasuke found that no matter how he screamed in his head, his muscles would not move.
It was Sai, embarrassing, clueless, vulgar-tongued Sai who broke the awkward silence. Sasuke made a note to hug that boy sometime…or maybe buy him a Dove bar.
"Naruto-kun! Ugly dog! Kakashi-sensei, you're all here!" he greeted them.
Sakura scowled, and Kakashi beamed at him. "Sai, you've got the greeting thing down perfectly! If I was Gai (or a pederast) I'd hug you!"
Sai stared at him, uncomprehendingly. "Beg your pardon?" he said politely.
"Never mind…Sasuke, how have you been?" the copy nin asked cordially.
When the boy failed to reply, Murtagh quipped, "Sasuke has taken leave of his senses for the moment. I'm Murtagh a fellow resident of Emo Farm, may I take a message?"
They both laughed (too) loudly at that, but Naruto and Sakura could not take their eyes off their teammate, who couldn't look at them. Then there was Sai, who didn't get the joke.
"Beg your pardon?"
"Well, why don't you all come in," Murtagh invited, steering Sasuke. Sai took Naruto and Sakura by one arm each, leaving Kakashi with the luggage. With an exasperated sigh, the jounin followed.
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"That's Itachi!" Naruto gasped, "He's Sasuke's evil brother, dattebayo!"
"No shit, Sherlock," Sakura rolled her eyes.
"Wonderful!" Hiroku said, "So you can talk!"
Kakashi smiled at Hirari, who was serving him dinner. "I think Sasuke may have permanently lost the powers of speech and locomotion though…"
The man laughed. "Oh, he'll come around. Gaara, how's that dim sum working out for you?"
"It's delicious," Gaara complimented the chef.
"I put in some tender cilantro, that's why," Hirari explained.
Naruto frowned. "Since when did Gaara compliment people?"
Gaara stuck his tongue out at the boy.
Sakura gasped. "Since when did Gaara stick his tongue out?"
The Kazekage rolled his eyes.
"Since when did Gaara—"
"Since he came here, gee, you two really know how to kill a joke don't you?" Sasuke said crossly.
A distinctly uncomfortable silence fell over the dinner table.
Sasuke looked at his teammates properly. "I was stupid," he mumbled, "I should've talked to you…should've explained what killing Itachi meant to me. Should've let you know when I was leaving, and most importantly that I was coming back." He looked down and continued, "I should've not been too scared to talk to you…but I was. I thought you'd convince me to stay, and I'd regret it later. Then I'd be bitter towards you, and I decided I'd rather have you be bitter towards me."
Naruto and Sakura exchanged a long look. Then they stood up, walked around the table, and as everyone watched with bated breath, threw their arms around Sasuke.
"We weren't mad," Naruto explained to the startled Uchiha, "We were worried, dattebayo. We thought you were going to give up your body to Orochimaru and we didn't want to lose you, dattebayo."
Sakura nodded. "Sasuke-kun, we're just happy you're okay. Whatever it is you want to do, we'll only help you. We just figured there are less disgusting ways to get power."
"Hey!" Orochimaru objected.
Gaara
scoffed at him. "Who are you kidding? You want a little boy's
body, you're disgusting."
"Meh," Orochimaru shrugged.
Kakashi beamed at his students. "This calls for a group hug!" he declared, grabbing Sai and jumping onto the others, "Someone take a picture!"
Sasuke crumpled like a leaf under the weight of his team (oh the irony), falling off his chair and carrying them to the ground.
"Oh man," Naruto groaned, "Sensei, you need to stop hanging around Gai-sensei so much, dattebayo…"
Sakura untangled herself from the boys. "I feel so violated," she sniffed, but Inner Sakura raged, Hell yeah! I was just in a dogpile with Konoha's four hottest guys!
Sai got up with a wince. "I think I may have broken a rib."
Kakashi chuckled nervously. "My bad."
They hauled Sasuke upright. He looked at the happy faces of his team, and started grinning wildly.
He looked to Orochimaru. "You once said to me, 'there is no shame in giving up'," he began.
The Sannin snorted. "Once said…you make it sound like it was years ago."
Sasuke ignored the dig. "I want to back to Konohagakure," he said evenly as Sakura gasped delightedly. Naruto began dancing around, screaming 'YES! YES! YES!'
"I want to go back and gain power with my friends. The slow way, the way more worth the journey…the fun way. I want to grow with them. Itachi's powerful," Sasuke said ruefully, "He'll stay that way for a long time, so there's no danger of someone else killing him before I do. I'm sorry Orochimaru-sensei…I'm quitting as your student."
Hiroku sniffed loudly. The Uchiha looked at her with an air of despairing amusement. "And I'm sorry Hiroku, but I've just realized how much I'd missed them all," he said apologetically.
The petite woman gave a louder sniff and turned her face into Hirari's sleeve, waving at Sasuke. In a muffled voice she said, "Oh don't mind me…I'll be fine!"
Hirari looked reprovingly in Sasuke's direction. The raven haired ninja sighed, and went around the table to hug Hiroku.
"I'm sorry, really, I've had fun here."
Orochimaru cleared his throat loudly. "Sasuke…that's the first time you've ever called me sensei."
Sasuke looked up at the older man in surprise. "I guess it is," he said slowly.
Orochimaru nodded, businesslike. "You've either grown, or your team had a spectacularly positive influence on you. Very nice…I could definitely teach someone like that."
Sasuke frowned and then shook his head. "No, I definitely want to go back to Hidden Leaf."
Naruto's jubilatory shouts went up by a few decibels. Sai and sakura exchanged a mischievous glance. Sakura slapped the boy and Sai tripped him.
"Sai! You jerk, I'm gonna KILL you!"
"Shut up, dickless."
Orochimaru smirked. "If Itachi can sneak in to train his brat, so can I to train my apprentice."
"Really?" Sasuke's eyes widened, "You'd do that?"
"After Kimimaro, Juugo, Kabuto, Karin and Suigetsu, you're my favorite student," Orochimaru assured him.
Murtagh raised his fork in objection. "Kimimaro, Juugo, Suigetsu and Karin are your test subjects, and Kabuto's your doctor…Sasuke's your only student, isn't he?"
"Shut up, you brat, when I want your opinion I shall ask for it," Orochimaru retorted.
Sasuke grinned and turned to his team. "Do you hear that? Orochimaru's gonna train me! I'll be able to kill Itachi in no time!"
"Oh joy," the older Uchiha grumbled.
Orochimaru scowled. "Back to Orochimaru, I see. Oh well, sensei was nice while it lasted."
Hirari glared at them all. Hiroku was now sobbing into his sleeve, making it dark with her tears. "Insensitive bunch of ingrates!" he hissed.
Murtagh patted her back, getting wasabi on her kimono. "Its ok, there, there Hiroku. I'm still here—oh crap. I just ruined you kimono…"
This understandably did nothing but cause a fresh flood of tears from the distraught woman.
Sai found it the time to speak up with a brilliant idea. "Why don't you and Hirari come to Konoha as well?"
"That is a wonderful idea," Gaara said sarcastically, "Except that they reason they felt the need to start this farm in the first place was because they are siblings in love, and society rejects them."
"Actually," Kakashi put in, "It depends on what you mean by society. No ninja village would look down on incest…its how they keep the bloodlines intact!"
Hiroku sniffled and turned her head to smile through a tear stained face. Everyone winced at the way her eyeliner had spread. Itachi, who was next to her, offered her a handkerchief to mop up the mess, but she blew her nose in it and handed it back to him. He growled at it distastefully, and it meekly combusted.
"Thank you all," she declared, "I accept!"
Hirari hugged her tightly. "We're going to Konoha!" he trilled.
"What about me?" Murtagh asked, stung.
"I don't see why you can't go," Gaara said.
Murtagh frowned. "But I like it here."
"You'll
love it there too," Orochimaru promised, "It's a beautiful
village, especially in summer and autumn…oh, and spring! And
winters are just gorgeous…"
Itachi raised an eyebrow.
"Someone misses his village."
"Someone needs to shut up."
Murtagh sighed. "Can I stay with you two?" he begged the siblings on his right, "Please?"
Hirari threw an arm around him. "Wouldn't have it any other way," he said solemnly, "Or Hiroku would molest me every hour of the day."
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Epilogue…to the epilogue!