Title: Chapter 9
Series: Angel
Author: crazywriterchic
Rating: PG-13, rated for language
Spoilers: series, BDM
First thing in the ruttin' morning, Mal has me luggin' boxes around the gorram cargo bay, Jayne grumbled internally.
The only thing that kept him from griping out loud was that Mal was hauling boxes with him. The Captain had come into the mess, interrupted Jayne's morning coffee, and told him that they needed to clear some space for the cargo Badger was arranging for them to carry out to Paquin.
"What the hell're we carryin' that we gotta move all these crates to the walls for, huh?"
Mal grunted as he set down his side of the long crate he and Jayne had just settled against the bulkhead. "Badger said it was artsy stuff. I didn't ask him to clarify. Less we know, the better."
Jayne huffed and moved over to another crate.
Mal looked the man over and shook his head. "So, have you seen our Li'l Albatross this morning? She's usually up on the bridge before I am."
"Don't look at me, I ain't her gorram keeper," Jayne growled. "Go ask that brother of hers."
"So, I see you two didn't make up after I left the mess yesterday," Mal pointed out.
"Don't see what her problem is. I was doin' her a favor. But if she don't want me 'round Angel anymore, that's just fine. I was gettin' sick of always lookin' out for that girl, anyway."
"Which one?"
"Both of 'em!"
Jayne glanced over, then turned away quickly when he saw that Mal wasn't buying it. Jayne didn't see why Mal wouldn't believe him. Did he look like a gorram babysitter? Just because he'd felt sorry for the girl that once and helped her out, suddenly River thought that she could just leave Angel with him any old time. Well, to hell with that.
A loud thump and the Doctor's shout of pain burst into the cargo bay from the passenger dorms. It was followed by the sound of Angel's crying. Mal and Jayne shared a look and hurried down to see what was what.
Simon stood outside his sister's door with a hand held up to the side of his head. Through the open door, they could see Angel standing up in her bed, holding onto the top railing, and having her cries go unanswered.
"What in the name of Hell's ass-crack is goin' on?" Mal demanded.
Simon jumped at Mal's shout and spun to face the two oncoming men. "I thought it was getting late, River is usually up by this time. When I came by, I heard that Angel was already up, so I opened the door. River threw a shoe at me."
"Goddamn sonofabitch, you deserved it!" River screeched. "Coming in here like you have the right—you don't have the right! It's my head, my mind, my sanctuary, and I never sent out invitations. Your RSVP is fraudulent!"
Mal leaned over a bit to find River curled up at the top of her bed. Her arms hugged her head, and she rocked back and forth. It was a flashback to all of those times before Miranda when River had her off days. Some were quiet, as Simon had caught her early and doped her. Others were loud with River's screaming echoing off the bulkheads from the bridge to the engine room. And some of those days had been down-right violent. Releasing a long sigh, Mal wonder which of those today would be.
"Lil' Albatross?" he called in.
His answer was a stream of incoherent mumbling. After a moment, the mumbling clarified into, "Rutting bastards. Can't just leave Snow White alone. Cook our dinner, clean the bathroom, don't mind the shovels and pick-axes we shove in your skull."
Mal rubbed a hand across his forehead before turning back to look at the Doctor. "Thought you said she was better."
"I thought she was," Simon murmured.
Jayne leaned forward to look in the room. He saw River curled up on her bed and rocking, looking as crazy as she ever was. He knew he couldn't do a thing about that—fixing the crazy girl was the Doc's job. Jayne moved his attention over to Angel, clutching the side of her crib and wailing in wordless monotone.
He glanced back at the two men behind him. They were going through the same speech they had every time River had a bad day. It was predictable, and sounded nearly rehearsed at this point. Jayne wondered if they ever thought about asking some new questions. With a huff, he stepped into the room.
Simon caught the mercenary's movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned to warn him. "Jayne, I wouldn't!"
As usual, Jayne ignored him. He went over to Angel and murmured to her so that she would calm down some. Angel babbled to him and reached out for Jayne to pick her up. Before he would, though, he looked over at the bed. River still sat and rocked. She looked like a cornered animal scared out of its wits and ready to attack.
"Hey, River-girl."
Her glassy eyes darted up to meet his. Jayne held both his hands up in front of him to show he meant no harm. He treated her exactly like the frightened predator she was. "It's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt ya."
"Qing wa cao de liu mang!"
"Pointin' that out ain't news to nobody, girl," Jayne told her.
"Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou, only reason you're here is because your mother told you to look after the helpless little girls," River hissed at him.
Jayne gritted his teeth. "That she did. Now, you gonna let me help ya or not?"
"Kuai qu hen-rien de di fang, useless, worthless, pussy of a mama's boy!"
Outside the room, Simon paled. Even he wouldn't have recommended calling Jayne something like that. "River! That was... You shouldn't say things like that."
Mal kept his eyes on Jayne. The man did not like to be called any of the colorful names that the girl had been hurling at him. That last one was way below the belt, and the Captain was worried that his hired gun would react the way he normally did when language like that was used to describe him.
Jayne's nostrils flared as he took a deep breath to keep from going over there and doing something stupid. He knew he couldn't take her on a good day, and with River feeling like everyone on the ship was a threat, there was no way she would hesitate to take him down. If he tried to rush her, he'd be lucky if he got off with a concussion. He made sure his hands stayed splayed at his sides, and took slow breaths to calm down. It was a few moments before he had his temper under enough control to notice that River had buried her face into the mattress and was pulling at her hair like she wanted to rip it from her scalp. He could hear her voice, but he couldn't make out what she was saying.
River squeezed her arms around her head trying to block the waves of thoughts and colors that came at her from the other crew members. Sickly yellow worry oozed off of the three men. Deep red spiked and swirled around Jayne at the names she called him turning the air around him a vomit-shaded orange. Angel cried in indigo confusion and lime green fear, and no matter what River did, she couldn't stop it from seeping into her.
She didn't even realize she was rocking. Back and forth. Back and forth. Rock-a-bye baby. "In the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock..."
Jayne leaned forward. Was she singing? She was singing.
Mal stepped into the room. His brows creased, and he looked over at Jayne. "Is that Rock-a-bye Baby she's singin'?"
"Think so."
River tilted her chin up so that she could look through her hair at the two intruders. Her voice and rocking stopped as the Captain hesitantly stepped forward, hands raised.
"River? How 'bout I take Angel up to 'Nara to watch today? That way you can get some re—"
Her fist swung out and clipped Mal in the jaw. The Captain stumbled back. Jayne took the two steps forward as soon as he saw River's hand move and grabbed her wrist as she tried to pull her hand back. Simon rushed in a beat later and went to Mal to check for injuries. Half his breath was used to apologize for River, the other to try to calm her.
River bared her teeth at Jayne and twisted to release her arm from his grasp. He compensated, squeezing down on her tendons to force her hand to go loose. When she brought her other fist up and aimed for his arm, he caught that one, too. A quick, almost dance-like turn spun River around so that her feet were toward the wall and her arms were crossed in front of her. Jayne hugged her tight to his chest so that she wouldn't get another shot at hurting him.
"Calm the hell down, girl!" he growled in her ear. Her response was a wordless scream. River planted her feet on the bed, and arched her back to try and get away. Jayne held on, and tried not to do what his instincts were telling him to and hurt her to get her to stop.
Mal glared at the Doc. "Gorramit, go get something to dope her!"
Simon's mouth thinned out. He glanced at River once as Mal moved over to the bed to hold the girl's legs down before he rushed to the infirmary. He pulled out a small syringe. He debated for a moment on how much to give her. He measured out only enough to calm her down and make her groggy. It would put her out for an hour or so, at best. He had something else in mind for when she woke up.
He ran back to River's room, pushed in between Jayne and the wall, and stuck the needle deep into his sister's shoulder. River looked up at him and whimpered. In only a second, she started to quiet.
River craned her neck around Jayne's big form, and found Angel standing in her bed. "Angel."
Jayne leaned down low and asked, "Ya want me to take her?"
Her world was getting fuzzy around the edges. "Angel. Scared her. Shhh..."
The girl's body went limp. Jayne handed her over to her brother to lay her down, and he went over to pick up the little one. "Hey, there. It's okay. Momma's just gonna take a little nap."
"Simon?" Kaylee's voice called in from outside the room.
The three men turned to look at the worried mechanic in the doorway. Her eyes were darting between River unconscious in her bed, Simon covering his sister up, and the Captain's bleeding lip.
"I heard River shoutin' from upstairs. She alright?"
Simon tugged on his ear. "She's having a bad day, that's all. I'm sure she'll be fine."
"We talked about what would happen should your sister remained a threat to the people on this ship," Mal reminded him.
The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "It's just a bad day. She used to have them all the time."
"That she did, and as I said, you assured me that she was better when I allowed her to keep Angel. Now she's back to talkin' in riddles, throwin' shoes, and takin' a swing at me. That ain't what I call better, Doc."
"You couldn't have expected all of her problems to just go away, Mal," Simon hissed. "Her brain was changed. The way it functions, the amount of chemical transmitters it releases, the kinds of neurotransmitters—it's all different because of what they did to her. She has been amazingly better the past ten months, and I'm fairly certain I know why. Once she wakes up, I am going to give her the treatment she needs, and hopefully she will be stable for another ten months."
"Fairly certain...hopefully she'll be better," Mal echoed. "I don't like the sound of that. What if this new treatment of yours don't work like you think it will?"
"It will."
"How do you know?"
"Because I've tested the reactions of the other members of this crew to the drug."
Mal opened and closed his mouth a time or two, too angry to think of anything to say at first. "You've been drugging my crew to—"
"No, we all experienced nearly the same level of intake while we were on Miranda. I simply measured our reactions to the drug."
"Ta ma de, the Pax," Mal muttered.
Jayne's brows went straight up. Kaylee's gasp hissed through the air when she heard the name of the awful chemical that decimated an entire planet and inadvertently created Reavers.
Simon looked at the floor for a moment to give himself a chance to collect his thoughts. He hadn't planned on telling them like this. He only wanted to defend his sister and her ability to care for Angel.
"I realized on Kerry, when we were going to give Angel to the Danvers', that River really had been better since the signal was released," he explained. "While I do believe that a lot of that has to do with River not having to carry around Miranda's secret any longer, I began to suspect that it may also be due to the Pax in the air that she breathed—that we all breathed in—while we were there. So I started running some tests on River, and on the crew to see if we all had a reaction."
"That was why you kept callin' us all in a few months ago?" Kaylee asked, coming in to stand next to her man.
Simon smiled at her show of loyalty, and just because of her nearness. "Yes. I compared blood samples to previous ones I'd taken before Miranda. Blood pressure decreased, breath speed, heart rate, white blood cell count, even a slight decrease in dopamine and seratonin."
When he saw that no one got the implication, he explained, "Those are the chemicals in your brain that can make you happy, but, if the levels are too high, can cause depression, obsessive thoughts, eating disorders...schizophrenia. Almost everyone on board had decreases in each. At first we all attributed the fatigue to surviving a traumatic experience, to injuries, to grief. And while I'm sure that those did play a part, the Pax
stayed in our systems for months and there were lingering physiological affects."
"So why ain't we all droppin' ta sleep an' lettin' ourselves die?" Jayne asked.
Simon looked over at the mercenary who still held Angel and patted her back to keep her calm. "The people on Miranda were breathing in the Pax-infused air everyday for years. They had a higher dose of it in their systems. We were only on Miranda for a few hours. It was enough to slow us down, but after we left, started breathing clean air, the Pax level plateaued and then began to decrease."
"Well, this is good," Kaylee said. "I mean, instead of all those shots you used to have to give her, and then change the kind of medicine all the time. Now River only needs this one thing, and she'll be good for almost a year."
Mal agreed. It was good news both for River and for the crew. There was just one more thing he wanted to know. "The way I understand it, Doc, Pax is a designer drug made by the Alliance to put into those air processors. I'm guessin' that after they found out about what happened on Miranda, Pax became a banned substance. Not that I don't think you couldn't get it on the black market, but that would most likely cost more than this boat is worth, much less what you get paid. How'd you find any, much less buy it?"
Simon colored. He looked down at the floor, and cleared his throat. "After the warrants for River and my arrest were dropped, my accounts on Osiris were unfozen. I honestly didn't even remember them until after I contacted Garcia to see if he knew anyone who could get the drug. I spent almost everything that was left in my savings that I hadn't used to get River out of the Academy getting the Pax and having it shipped."
"That was the packaged you picked up at the post office a couple weeks ago?" Kaylee asked.
He nodded.
Mal scratched the spot over his left brow, and shook his head. "All right, then. Let's get outta here, and let River rest a bit."
Jayne stepped over to Angel's little trunk of clothes, and pulled out a pink outfit. He grabbed a new diaper, and one of her bibs, too. Meanwhile, Kaylee walked over to River's bed, tucked the blankets in tighter around her friend, and kissed her head before leaving. The four crew members exited River's room, each looking over their shoulders for one last check on the unconscious young woman on the bed.
"Doc," Mal warned, "you give her that Pax as soon as she wakes up. I don't want her having a chance to run about the ship in the mood she was just in. And when you store that stuff, it better be in a locked, airtight box. I don't want any mishaps. Last thing we want is to end up like them folks on Miranda, or worse, Reavers."
"That ain't gonna happen, Cap'n," Kaylee defended. "Simon's real careful about them things."
Kaylee saw that Jayne still held Angel, and figured that since he watched her yesterday, he'd be looking for someone to take Angel today.
"I got stuff to fix today, but I can take Angel up to 'Nara to watch," she offered holding her arms out for the one-year-old.
"Nah, it's okay. I got her," Jayne said. He walked off with supplies and baby in hand.
"For someone who's awful tired of lookin' out for the Tam girls, he sure took that job on his self real quick," Mal noted.
"Aw, I think it's sweet," Kaylee cooed. "Little Angel's got big bad Jayne wrapped up around her pudgy little fingers. He's even friends with River, now. It's better than them tryin' ta kill each other. And who would'a thought that Jayne would make such a good babysitter? He almost looks like Angel's daddy, huh?"
Both men looked at the mechanic like she'd gone completely feng le.
"Please, Kaylee, don't even joke about that," Simon pleaded.
"Oh, what? They'd make a sweet couple."
"Only in happy-Kaylee-verse," Mal said. "And I thought you had work to do. How 'bout you get to doin' it?"
Kaylee stuck her tongue out at the Captain and skipped off toward the stairs leading to the engine room. When she was out of sight, Mal cut a glance back at River's door, and looked over at Simon. "You really think this'll work?"
"I wouldn't have ordered the Pax if I didn't," Simon assured.
The Captain nodded. He hooked his thumbs through his suspenders and headed up to the bridge to take the helm for the day.
&&&
River drifted through the thick fog up toward wakefulness. Everything was muted, blurry, too far away. It had been so long since Simon had drugged her she wasn't sure what was going on.
"Mei-mei?"
She turned her face toward the sound of her brother's voice. The motion took an inordinate amount of strength and time to complete. "Simon?"
Her speech was slurred.
The bed next to her dipped as Simon sat down. "I'm sorry, River. You were having a pretty bad episode. I had to give you a smoother to knock you out for a while."
"It was too loud."
"I know. I brought something that will help with that. And this time, it won't make you sick afterwards, or make you see things, or any of the other side effects. I promise."
River pushed herself into a sitting position, her world clearing a bit more. Unfortunately, with the clearing came the push of the crew's thoughts. She looked down at the object Simon held in his hands and frowned. It was an inhaler, like an asthmatic would use to control lung constriction. Simon's thoughts told her that the chemical inside was different from normal inhalers, though.
"G-23 paxilon hydrochlorate," she recited.
"Yes. Do you remember when I ran those tests on you and the rest of the crew?"
She stared at him not answering.
Simon cleared his throat. "It turns out that the Pax left over in your system has helped you to stay stable for so long. It let your brain slow down so that you could process the thoughts and feelings of the people around you. That's why this is your first bad day in a long time."
"You want me to breathe in death-air."
"It's not death-air, mei-mei. The Pax is diluted to the same amount that was in the air on Miranda. A single use of the inhaler would be the equivalent of spending three days planetside. None of the colonists on Miranda died after only three days."
He placed the inhaler in her limp hands. River looked down at the tiny device and back up at her brother. "I want to be better."
"I'm sure this will work."
Even a little more than half crazy, and still hampered by the dose of smoother that she'd been injected with earlier, River trusted her brother. He would never purposely harm her. With a little sigh, she put the mouthpiece to her lips, pressed the release button on the top of the inhaler, and breathed deep.
The chemicals numbed her flesh when they hit the back of her throat, her bronchial tubes, and down into her lungs. At first there was nothing but the sensation of ice crystals in her air passage. Then River's vision irised down, the Pax taking over her consciousness as once again she fell into a deep sleep.
Simon caught his sister's shoulders when she went limp and eased her head down onto her pillow. He picked the inhaler of her hands and pocketed it. Outside the door waited the mobile monitoring unit, and he brought it in. Simon had left it outside so that River wouldn't have to see the machinery when she woke up and be more freaked than she would already be about the new medication. He had to make monitor her vitals, though. He would never forgive himself if she went into cardiac arrest, or drifted into a coma because of he was over-confident.
Simon hooked the little electrodes to River's chest and forehead. He spent the next five hours watching over the blipping spikes of his sisters heartbeat, and the up and down currents of her brain waves.
&&&
At dinner, Mal told Zoë and Inara the news about River and the new treatment Simon was trying. He wanted them to be prepared, so he told them what the new medical cure was. Both were sad that River had slipped back again, but glad to hear that Simon hoped that he finally had the answer. They were obviously apprehensive about the Pax being onboard the ship, but Simon, who had come to get a plate to take back to River's room, assured him that he would keep it safely stored away so that none of it leaked into the air supply.
Kaylee gave him a kiss and a hug, telling him that she would come down and sit with him after dinner. "I can't finish the G-line today. There's a portion that runs under the core lock I can't get to without help."
"Do you want me to—"
"No, Doc," Mal vetoed. "You stick with your sister. I'll help Kaylee tomorrow morning."
"Cap'n, with all due respect," Kaylee hedged, "I was thinkin' Zoë could help me."
The first mate looked up from her plate. "Me?"
"Yeah. Mal wouldn't know his way around the engine room if I drew him a map, and Jayne just takes too long to explain what I want from him."
The women chuckled as the two men voiced their objections. Zoë answered, "Sure, I'll help. Tomorrow morning?"
"Bright and early," Kaylee said. "We're not quite able to steer at the moment, so I need to fix it before we drift too far off course. Or worse, try to land."
"What!" Mal shouted. "Little Kaylee! My boat crashes—"
"I know, I know: I crashed her," Kaylee grumbled. Simon leaned down for to kiss her cheek again, and then left the crew to their dinner while he went back downstairs to his charge. Kaylee smiled after him. When she turned back to the crew, Angel's face was covered in mashed carrot. Kaylee reached across the table to wipe some of it off, as obviously Jayne was content to let her sit like that.
Jayne had taken care of the baby all day. They got along well together while River recuperated. He hadn't complained once about being stuck with the baby. Kaylee smiled because it really was like Jayne was Angel's dad. She decided to push and see just how protective Jayne was feeling.
"You've had Angel all day, Jayne. I'm sure you're getting' tired of her by now. After all, she's not your responsibility. I'll take over for ya after dinner."
"Um…." Jayne really hadn't thought about it. True, he'd had her all day, but he hadn't minded, nor even noticed. "You don't…I mean, I don't…."
Mal smirked. "Yeah. Didn' you say this morning that you were sick of looking after Angel all the time?"
Jayne did recall saying something like that, not that he would give Mal the satisfaction of him admitting it. "Yeah, whatever. Why don't you take the girl so I can go…do…my own thing for a while. I think the kid's startin' ta think I'm some sorta damn teddy bear or somethin'."
Kaylee giggled at Jayne's put-out face. Who did he think he was fooling?
"Well, then, I'll just get the little one cleaned up," she said as she got up from the table and walked around to get Angel out of her high chair. "And then she can have a bath, and go to bed. Do you want bubbles, Miss Angel?"
Angel giggled back at her and started repeating the only word she knew. "Feetha, feetha, feetha."
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Qing wa cao de liu mang—frog-humping son of a bitch
Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou—inbred sack of meatKuai qu hen-rien de di fang—go far away very fast