Chapter 15

"Uuugh." Kaylee pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead. "Why didn' anybody stop me from drinkin' so much?"

"Kaywinnet, if you are old enough to be marryin', you are old enough to keep your drinks in hand," Martha Frye chastised her daughter. She straightened the back of the wedding dress's white hoop skirt and fussed with some of the lace.

"Well, the least someone coulda done was not steal the aspirin this morning," the bride grumbled. She looked at herself in the mirror of her old bedroom at the farmhouse where the women of the wedding party were getting ready. She looked hung-over, all pasty-pale and puffy.

"I didn't steal it," River defended herself. "Told you, it was in my room when I woke up."

Zoë and Martha looked at one another. "Well, well," Mrs. Frye murmured, "wonder who coulda brought it into ya? Couldn't of been that gorgeous, brick wall-of-a-man who came knockin' on my back door this morning."

"If by that you mean Jayne, then no, it couldn't've been," Zoë teased as she buttoned up Dewey's little tux jacket. "Jayne doesn't do things like that. Or at least the Jayne Cobb who Mal talked into turning on his previous boss and joining Serenity while we were being held at gunpoint certainly doesn't." Dewey was released, and was now busy getting into closets and drawers. "This new Jayne who babysits, and buys Angel presents, and gets all techy when River don't talk to him for a week…I don't know about this Jayne."

River's shoulders were tightening up, but she kept her focus on putting Angel's bright yellow dress on over the fluffy, crinoline-layered slip while the girl struggled to join Dewey in investigating the room.

"Would this be the same Jayne who refrained from getting stinking drunk with the rest of the men last night, and instead came back to the ship?" Inara asked.

"You mean, the one who was up in the mess lookin' like he was waitin' on somethin'?"

"The one who still hasn't spent his pay from the last two jobs we had on whores and liquor?" Kaylee asked.

Zoë nodded. "Yeah, that's the one."

River tugged the hem of Angel's dress down one last time, and jumped to her feet. "I don't know what you're talking about, so I am ignoring you. Besides, it's Kaylee's day. No more harebrained insinuations. Only two hours, seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds until the nuptial ceremony begins."

Hearing their time limit, the women got back to their prep work. Kaylee accepted a tube of hemorrhoid cream from Inara who instructed her to put it under her eyes to diminish the puffiness. Zoë finished helping Kaylee's friend and fellow bridesmaid Xiu Mei into her dress. One of Kaylee's sisters—Marah or Amy, Zoë couldn't tell which one it was, they looked so alike—started curling Kaylee's hair while Martha helped the other sister with her make-up.

River let out a long breath, and turned back to Angel. The girl was chasing Dewey about the room in her bright dress with its tutu-like skirt, and she had to corral her to force the white patent leather shoes on her feet. Angel was not pleased. After ten minutes, River decided that the shoes could wait until it was closer to the time that they needed to go to the church.

In the meantime, all of the bridesmaids had their hair done with a different yellow flower over their left ears. They had their nails painted to match their sundresses, each made in slightly differing shades of yellow to compliment their different skin tones, and got make-up expertly applied by a trained Companion. A half-hour before the guests were set to arrive, the women piled into three hoovercars that took them to church.

&&&

"I hate you."

"You said."

"No, I really hate you."

"Nice to know, Doc," Mal responded. "Now get yer ass in there an' get ready for yer weddin'."

Simon trudged into Serenity along with his Best Man, and Kaylee's brothers as his groomsmen. The women were all up at the house, so the men got the ship to keep the groom from seeing his bride in her dress before the wedding. Bad luck, you know.

The Frye brothers staggered into the cargo bay and paused a minute to look around. It was plain that none of them had ever been in a ship before, much less off world. Mal wasn't in the right frame of mind to be giving tours, so he hurried them on down to the passenger dorms where the tuxes hung from one of the exposed pipes. The shoe boxes were lined up on the table, each with the man's name who was renting them taped to the lid. Next to the shoes were five yellow tea roses that they were to put in their lapels. And slumped on the couch was Serenity's mercenary, head tilted back against the wall, and snoring like a buzz saw.

"Jayne." Mal kicked his boot. "Jayne!"

All the men winced. Jayne jumped, and had his gun out of its holster before he was fully awake. Nolan and Ronnie's hands went up, but Mal was unaffected. "We're back. What happened? You couldn't make it up t' your bunk, so you passed out down here?"

"Huh?" Jayne ran his free hand down his face. He put Boo back in its holster while he tried to clear his mind. Mal had startled him out of another nightmare. He couldn't remember this one any better than the one that had him shaking into wakefulness early that morning. "Nah. I was up when the girl-folk left. Must'a sat down to wait for you'ns an' fell to sleep again. What took ya so long?"

Simon grabbed his tux down and went to the table to find his shoes. "We had to wait for my soon-to-be mother-in-law to come down to the drunk tank and release us. Speaking of—why weren't you in there with us?"

"'Cause I was the one what showed some actual restraint last night," Jayne bragged. "So I got ta watch you an' Mal an' the little bits over there get hauled off when the Cap an' Mr. Frye's plan backfired. Lemme tell ya, it was a hoot."

Mal took the largest garment bag down from the pipe and threw it at Jayne. "Just go change into your tux."

"Uh, Captain…Mal…sir?" Ronnie asked. "Where should we go to change?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You two go on down there. Room on the left. Jayne, you take the Shepherd's old room since Zoë and Dewey are up in her bunk now."

Funny Mal thought, how it was still the Shepherd's old room instead of just another empty room in the passenger dorm. Matter of fact, why were River and Simon still down there, anyhow? He should have moved them up to the two empty crew bunks a long while ago.

"Where're you changin'?" Jayne asked.

"Figured I'd take River's room. She won't mind, an' as the best man, I oughtta be near to the groom in case he needs help to the head so he can puke his nervous guts out."

"Just don' touch nothin'," he groused. Scowling over his shoulder, he headed down the hall to the Preacher's room.

"It ain't like it's your room!" Mal snapped. "'Less there's somethin' you wanna be tellin' me?"

Jayne didn't so much as turn around, though his shoulders might have twitched. Or maybe the twitch was in Mal's eye. He rubbed his eyes and headed for River and Angel's room to change into his tux. Then he went back to the common room to grab the tux still hanging up. He had to come back a second time to grab his rented shoes.

It was going to be a long morning.

&&&

"I can't believe you did that, Daddy! You an' the Cap'n both."

"Oh, now Kaylee-Bear, we was just havin' a little fun with the boy," Ted defended himself. He'd already got an ear-full from his wife when she came down to Old Town Central Jailhouse to get him, two of her sons, Serenity's Captain, and the groom out of lock up.

Jayne sidled through the dozen other bodies at the anteroom of the church to reach the crazy girl's side. He hadn't seen her since early that morning when the four women headed over to the farmstead to get done up. He found her near the rear of the room, dressed in her topaz yellow sundress. It looked like something she would normally wear, except the top was cut nicer than most of her other dresses were, and it had little bits of fabric covering her shoulders that might have been miniature sleeves, but just looked like decoration to him.

"You coulda ruined everything!" Kaylee accused her father. "What if Sheriff Tanner pressed charges?"

River was kneeling in front of a bright, sunshiny Angel and picking up the flower petals that the girl had tossed on the floor before she was supposed to. Jayne shuffled his feet.

"He wasn' gonna press charges, Kayl," Mr. Frye assured her. "We had it all planned out."

When River didn't look up at him, Jayne cleared his throat. "Hey. How's your head?"

River brought the petal basket with her as she stood up and faced Jayne. There was a yellow tiger lily in her hair. She awarded his concern with a smile, and said, "Good. The water last night and pain relievers you left me this morning were quite effective. Thank you."

"Yeah, well…." He shrugged.

"Planned out?" the bride demanded. "You was plannin' on you an' Nolan an' Ronnie an' the Cap gettin' pulled into the drunk tank with Simon?"

"No. That was an accident."

"You just best be glad I'm speakin' to you at all," Kaylee hissed as the organist began to play in the sanctuary of the church.

The wedding party—minus Simon, who currently stood at the head of the church with the priest—lined up in front of Kaylee and her father and waited for their cue. The swell of the organ preceded the doors being opened by two ushers. Mal took a breath and smiled at the woman on his arm. Inara, dressed in gold with a scarlet-centered Clown Gown Hibiscus in her hair, returned the smile, and Maid of Honor and Best Man made their way down the isle at that ridiculous stop-and-start pace that wedding march's demanded. The middle Frye brother, Nolan, followed leading his buttercup-clad and adorned sister Marah, then went Jayne and Xiu Mei in saffron and a yellow dahlia, and finally the siblings Ronnie and Amy in bright canary yellow with a tulip behind her ear.

Zoë pointed Dewey down the isle. "Follow them," she whispered. "Just like yesterday when we practiced it, all right?"

The boy looked like he was about to bolt, but Zoë put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and he nodded.

"Remember to strewn the petals as you go," River needlessly reminded Angel when she handed her the basket of flower petals, and let her daughter play follow the leader. Angel would trail Dewey to the ends of the 'Verse if he let her.

Zoë, dressed in a rich mustard yellow with yellow poppy in her dark curls, a wide smile on her face, offered her arm to River. The younger woman giggled and slid her arm through her friend's, and together they followed the children down the isle toward the altar. Near the end of the isle, Angel ran out of petals and stopped to look up at her mother. "Uh-oh!"

The attendance chuckled in unison. Angel started and ran to her Mum whimpering. River checked her laughter and looked up finding Jayne's eyes crinkled with humor. They shared a look before River lifted her daughter up, and carried the girl the rest of the way to their seat at the front next to Kaylee's parents. Martha had caught the exchange and made a note to apologize to Jayne as soon as she could for questioning his right to see Angel.

Zoë used a light touch on Dewey's shoulder to steer him toward the front pew on Simon's side of the church which was filled up mostly by friends of the Frye's. As soon as they reached their place, the organist changed tunes once again, and the congregation stood to watch Ted Frye walk his youngest child down the center of the church and give her away to a stunned and smiling doctor.

"Dearly Beloved," the priest intoned. "We are gathered here today…."

&&&

Simon and Kaylee Tam sat at the head table under the yellow canopy set up out in her parents' yard. They accepted congratulations and well wishes with grins. They couldn't stop looking at each other as if neither could believe, after all they'd been through, the year of Simon ignoring her and missing his chances, Kaylee's hurt feelings at his snubs and crying herself to sleep at night, and the near-death experiences, that they were really married.

The crew was spread out through the other wedding guests. Mal and Inara were stuck at the side as they walked around the perimeter watching the other guests. Zoë sat with Martha Frye. She was even seen to chuckle a few times. Jayne hovered near the buffet table that friends and family had filled by potluck. Angel and Dewey were playing with the rest of the small children in a little corral made of the adult's chairs and part of the garden fence while River accepted dance after dance with Kaylee's brothers, cousins, and friends of the family.

Her current dance partner was Kaylee's cousin Freddie Colbert. He was only an inch or so taller than River, and a little pudgy. He shared Kaylee's coloring and cheerful demeanor, and proved to be a competent dancer. They talked about the wedding as they strutted through a slow two-step. When he pulled her back in from a spin, Freddie said, "It was so stylish seein' all the girls come down the isle in the same dress done up in different colors."

River laughed. "Yes, I thanked Inara everyday when she talked Kaylee out of all of us wearing bright yellow hoopskirts."

"The lil' Flower Girl was wearin' a big ole fluffy yellow dress," Freddie pointed out.

"Angel can pull it off by virtue and age and innate adorableness."

"That's babies for ya. She's the Maid a'Honor's little 'un, ain't she? They sorta look alike."

He spun River around as she giggled. "No, no! Angel's mine."

Freddie's feet stumbled over themselves when he lost track of the beat. "Oh!"

River tilted her head to the side to watch his surprised face. They'd been having a nice time, and now he was panicking and closing off from her even as they continued to go through the steps of the dance. Because of Angel?

Girl's got a kid…you know how girls like that are…only lookin' for a man ta take care of 'em. Too young for that…don't wanna be stuck with somebody else's mistake…

Her muscles tensed. When the song ended and Freddie clumsily made his excuse to leave her, River gladly let him go. She found herself in the doldrums of dance requests, so she weaved her way through the other guests toward the food. And Jayne. He had found a fold-out seat off to the side of the dance floor near the food table. He had a paper plate balanced on his knee piled with a sandwich, potato salad, and real grapes. He had his beer bottle on the empty seat at his right.

River grabbed a napkin from the buffet table, and went to the chair next to Jayne. Before he could do more than raise his eyebrows, she picked his beer up, wiped the condensation off of the seat, and sat down. She put the bottle down between the two chairs so it wouldn't get kicked over.

"What happened to your full dance card?" he muttered around a bite of potato salad while she stole some of the grapes off his plate.

She rolled her eyes and nodded toward where Freddie now stood with three other young men. All of them were looking over at her now; the tallest of them actually leered at her. "Telling tales. Unmarried females with progeny are always on the hunt for the next male to snare as parental figure." She shuddered. "That is at least better than the tall one. He believes that since the girl has a child with no father standing in claim, must mean that she opens her legs for anybody. Easy lay."

Jayne scowled over to where the four boys stood. He leaned back in his chair, resettled his feet, and slung his arm around the back of River's chair. Just to let the little shitheads know they couldn't go around talking about River like that. She had folk who were there to defend her reputation—him being the biggest, scariest, and most willing to enforce that defense.

"Jayne? What are you doing?" River asked while little butterflies fluttered about in her belly.

"Just lettin' 'em know they can't go 'round spreadin' stories about someone they don't even know without pissin' some folk off." And, to his satisfaction, they were turning away and finding something else to do besides look the girl up and down.

"That's very kind. However, your gallantry is unnecessary." She reached over her shoulder, lifted his hand from where he had begun toying with the edge of her sleeve, and brought it up over her head to replace it in his lap. Patting it, she said, "The crazy killer girl can take care of herself."

She stole some more grapes and popped them into her mouth.

"Hell, I know that. They don't. They just see a skinny little bit a'tail. I'm just headin' off trouble 'fore it starts."

She swallowed, and opened her mouth to ask, You see me as tail? But closed it right away. He was speaking of the cousins, of course. Instead she asked, "Speaking of tail, I expected you to be making up for last night's restraint with one of Kaylee's relations."

Jayne sat up straight again, coughing. He picked at the remaining potato salad on his plate and cleared his throat. "Well, you know, I'd feel a mite strange tryin' to make time with one a'Kaylee's kith or kin. Like incest or somethin'."

"Untrue, untrue," she called him on it with a grin. "You struck out."

"Now, hey! Did not!"

"Did, too. But there was no joy in Mudville, for mighty Casey has struck out."

"We ain't in Mudder-ville, an' my name ain't Casey. What kinda sissy-ass name is that, anyway?"

"He had no luck with Xiu Mei for he did not stop to ask in which direction she traveled," River explained popping another grape.

"Speak plain, girl!"

"She's sly."

Jayne looked over at the bridesmaid he'd escorted and proceeded to hit on in a new light. "Huh. Well, see? Had I known that…."

River couldn't stop her laughter from bubbling out. Jayne didn't appreciate that too much, and ate the rest of the grapes so that she couldn't have any more in retaliation which only made her laugh harder. He snuck a peak at her out of the corner of his eye as he chewed.

Huh. She kinda glows when she laughs, he thought. It was like she swallowed all the late summer sunshine and it shone out through her skin as she looked at him and giggled. Disturbed by that thought, he changed tactics.

"Yeah, so maybe I did strike out the once. Maybe I should go get my guitar and join the band up there. You know what they say about musicians." He smirked as he leaned down to pick up the bottle River had moved.

"They have good timing and know where to put their fingers?"

Jayne about spewed his beer, but caught himself with the back of his hand to his mouth.

River laughed again. Jayne was such an easy mark today. "Don't make the same mistake as Simon. I'm not as innocent as all that." At his disbelieving arch of brow, she told him, "Had a boyfriend once. There were kisses, and making out, and…things."

"What kinda things?" he asked because he was completely unable to see River doing what he thought she was implying. Or maybe it was his filthy mind turnin' him into a dirty old man by trying to conjure up images of a fourteen-year-old River going all the way.

"Handsy things," River said. A deep blush spread out over her face and neck. "Mostly his hands. Never removed any clothing, but groping occurred. Not that there was much to grope. But I think we both regarded it as practice groping. Preparation for the real thing."

"An' has that preparation come in handy lately?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

Her faded blush renewed its color. "Not lately. But you never know when you may need a skill. Perhaps I should find someone to refresh my memory. Since Kaylee's tall cousin seems willing…."

He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't really…wouldja?"

She shrugged. "No. I think I would need some sort of emotional attachment to the person. Casual liaisons have never appealed to me."

"I bet you're one'a those girls who had your weddin' planned since you was ten or somethin', right?"

Her shout of laughter tilted her head back. "Hardly! I preferred planning my acceptance speech for when I won the Lifetime Achievement Award for discovering wormhole transportation or successfully designing a probe that would go through a black hole into an alternate universe rather than planning a wedding."

"I thought all little girls planned their weddin's."

"Not me." She turned to look at her brother and new sister-in-law.

Jayne watched the girls face turn solemn as she looked at the new couple. "You ain't sorry they got hitched, are ya?"

"No, it's not that." River shook her head. "It's just…her whole life, Simon was the only one who ever loved her unconditionally. Even when she was too freakish to be allowed around children her own age, or was deliberately cruel to him, or when she was screaming crazy, he still loved her. When I was little, before I understood the fundamentals of marriage and procreation, I thought that Simon and I would wed. We could be like the ancient Egyptian royalty of Earth That Was. Even when I discovered what married people do in their shared bed, I thought that Simon would marry me, and we would simply have a celibate marriage. Even asked Shepherd Book to perform the ceremony once. Promised to have, hold, and knit."

Jayne shook his head. He could imagine how that went over. He kind of wished he'd been there. Sounds like it would've been a hoot.

River acknowledged his humor, and waited a moment for it to pass. Quieter, she said, "I want Simon to be happy. Kaylee makes him so happy he shines. He never did that before. Not when we were children at home, not when he went to Medicad…not once because of me. But because of her he has light under his skin. I think sometimes I might hate her for taking my brother away from me. But I don't, either. Kaylee is too sweet to hate. He makes her happy, as well. They think similarly. They are well matched, despite differences in upbringing."

"Yeah, I bet that's real important in the Core. Marryin' somebody who got brought up the same as you."

"Very. While marriages are not exactly arranged, one is expected to find someone in the same socio-economic class whose family is in a complimentary field of business, or with whom a business or political alliance could be formed. The parents must approve, and a prenuptial agreement must be issued. Some families even insist on fertility and genetic testing before they consent to a match. Not to say that there is not love, but love is not a main priority. That is why I wanted Simon, and why I never imagined my perfect wedding."

"Hm?"

"I was overly romantic as a child," she confessed. "I felt that if I could not marry someone I loved, I would not marry at all. I would devote my life to more interesting pursuits."

"Like winnin' that Lifetime Achievement Award."

"Exactly." She bit her lip, and regarded him for a few minutes. "What about you? Did you ever want to end your story happily ever after?"

Jayne stared at a clump of brown grass between his rented shoes. "One time."

"What happened?" she asked. She could feel a slight ache coming from him: an old injury flaring up.

He glanced at her using annoyance as a shield. "Ain't'cha gonna peek in my head and find out even if'n I don't tell ya?"

She shook her head. "No. I won't pry. I won't look if you would rather not say anything."

Jayne fanned his empty paper plate against his thigh as he thought about not telling her. But then he internally shrugged. What would be the harm in telling her? "It was 'fore I left home. I was nineteen. Me an' Tabby Hollen'd been datin' for a lil' over a year. Her pa ran the company store. Thought I loved her. Thought she loved me. I had my mind made up to ask her to marry me, but it turned out she had somethin' goin' on on the side with the company manager's son. She knew a better offer when she heard it, so she chose him."

"I'm very sorry, Jayne."

He reached down for his beer and took a drink. "Don't be. I ain't."

Liar, she wanted to accuse him. He still hurt from her rejection. It was her that made Jayne think that girl-folk weren't to be trusted. After all, if a pretty blonde girl he'd known all his life and loved in the innocence of the time before first heartbreak could play so dirty, surely all women did. Except maybe his mother.

"I am sorry that she betrayed your trust."

He glanced at her, and found River watching. He met her eyes, but neither said anything. This was only their second conversation about something so personal. River didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, so she stood up.

"I'm going to find another dance partner. Hope you have better luck with your next target."

Something inside flickered, and before he thought the words, they cannonballed out of his mouth. "Ain't there some kinda rule that all the weddin' party has to dance together at some point?"

Her breath caught for an instant. "I would not know. This is the first wedding party I've ever been in."

"I think there is," he said standing up. "Come on. Might as well get this over with."

&&&

Kaylee pulled her gaze from her new husband long enough to check on her friends. They weren't all the most sociable people, and they were surrounded by folks they'd never met before. To her relief, Zoë seemed to be getting along real well with her Ma. She turned to check on the two littlest Sereniteers in the kid pen, and found Angel with a doll, sucking on the plastic head. Dewey was engaged in some kind of dust kicking up contest with some of her nephews. His little tux was filthy.

Across the pavilion, Mal and Inara were talking with Uncle Whit. By the slightly annoyed expression on Inara's face, the topic of conversation was business. It looked like Serenity would have a load of fresh veggies to take to market on Persephone after she and Simon got back from their week-long honeymoon.

Kaylee glanced at the crowd of dancers on the small stage the men had set up certain that she would find her new sister there. Sure enough, the younger woman was just stepping into the arms of her new partner—which turned out to be Jayne, of all people! She didn't know he could dance. Not that it looked like he was dancing very well, but he was there, and she was there, and they were there together! Kaylee pealed a delighted shriek as she bounced in her seat.

"What is it?" Simon asked.

"Look!" she pointed to his sister and the mercenary going through a halting box step. "I toldja so! Welcome to Happy Kaylee 'Verse!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

not mine. The poem is Casey at the Bat, by Ernest L. Thayer.