Chapter 9: Thank God for Owen
Gwen watched him go. As soon as he was out the door, she lurched to her feet, and stumbled in the direction of the ladies room. She made it there just in the nick of time, and leaned over the sink, retching.
She tried to hold her hair back as she vomited into the sink, and still keep it aimed. It was difficult, but she managed to keep her hair out of the way. Finally, she gasped and caught her breath. Rinsing her mouth and the washing the sink out, Gwen looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were rimmed with red and unshed tears, her face was drawn and pale. Her hair hung limply in her hand, and she had a droplet of water at the corner of her mouth.
Wiping it with a towel, Gwen attempted to pull herself together. She was a grown woman, and she would handle this on her own if she had to. She had loving friends who cared for her, and a reliable boyfriend.
So reliable, is he? Is that why he traipsed off to London for a long weekend with the boys? Something inside her whispered venomously. She shook her head to clear the thought. She could hardly get upset with Rhys for going away, considering how many nights it had been her who was not home until all hours. She had spent more nights at work, or at Owen's flat, than she had her own place the past month and a half.
It still struck her as strange then, that the one night she had been home long enough for her and Rhys to have sex would have been enough to get her pregnant. Gwen shook her head again, and ran her fingers through her hair. She needed to get back to work, since she would be going home to an empty flat at any rate.
She was not really looking forward to her solitude when really all she wanted was someone to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. It had been a long and emotional day, she realized that. And a good night's sleep would probably be the best way for her to assuage this feeling of abandonment inside her. She knew she could call Tosh, but she didn't know if their new relationship was strong enough for Gwen to call in her chips now.
Besides, Gwen thought as she rinsed her mouth again, if I'm honest with myself, I don't really want to talk to anyone. Deciding that she would just go home and get some sleep while she could, Gwen brushed her hair from her face and left the bathroom.
She got back to her desk to see a note sitting on her keyboard. She recognized the firm, uneven scrawl, and her heart pounded. Why was Owen leaving notes for her? With an unsteady hand, she reached for it. Glancing around to see if he was still in the vicinity, Gwen cautiously opened the note.
Gwen,
I know I've been behaving like a right ass. I'm not going to apologize for it, since I'm only doing what I normally would. I am going to tell you that I'm sorry for the way I reacted earlier. I should have taken more care with you than I did, and I hope that you didn't notice that my hands were a little shaky when I took the sample. I think we need to talk, so when you get this (I'm guessing it will be morning before you do, since I didn't see you when I left it on your desk.) give me a call, and we'll have a chat.
Owen
Gwen swallowed hard. He wanted to talk to her already? She had thought to give him a week as Jack had suggested. Yet he had sought her out, left her a note, and wanted her to call him. Impulsively, she grabbed up her mobile, and dialed Owen's number.
She heard it ring on her end, but she heard it ring down the stairs in the exam room as well. Was Owen still here? Hanging up, she walked towards where she had heard the ringing. The light was still on, and she looked down. Owen was sitting on the exam table, frowning at his phone. He pressed a button, and Gwen's mobile rang. Jumping slightly, she looked at it, and he looked up at her at the sound. Pressing another button quickly, he dropped the call, and got off the table. She turned to stare at him as he walked up to her.
"I thought you had already gone home."
"No, I – I had something to take care of." He frowned at her evasion. She stepped away a little when he came and put a hand on her arm. He saw it and kept his distance.
"Are you all right Gwen?" He asked, his tone husky. She nodded, and then tried to smile brightly.
"I'm already making jokes about it, no worries about me Owen. Are you?"
"Why would I be?" He said, exasperatedly, throwing his arms out to his sides. She shrank back some more.
"I come in to work, everyone else obviously knowing something I don't. Then I come to find out that my girlfriend is pregnant and needs me to run a paternity test! How could I possibly get any better?" His sarcastic tone belied his words.
"Oh that's right, add to the fact that she's pregnant, the fact that the baby she's carrying isn't even mine. While that's one less thing for me to worry about, I find myself worrying even more!"
Gwen stared at him. He was really worried about her. Then all of what he said struck her.
"What did you just call me?" She asked quietly, and he froze. His entire body and expression froze when he realized just how much he had revealed. He turned to her and she had an indefinable look on her face. He walked away from her, shrugging out of his lab coat as he went. She persisted, and followed him.
"Owen, why did you call me your girlfriend? I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to make this serious!"
He whipped around and faced her, her eyes curiously bright, and his own flashing.
"Yeah, well, it's easier for you, isn't it? You can just toddle off home to Rhys, and leave me here to deal with my own thoughts." She looked hurt and he silently berated himself for putting that look there. He took a deep breath.
"Look, Gwen, you scared the shit out of me today with your announcement. I'm not thinking straight as is, and then I think I'm finally okay to talk to you, and I blow up instead." She placed a well-intentioned hand on his arm, leaning closely.
"Owen, it's all right. I understand that it's a difficult thing to get used to. It's still not sitting right with me completely yet either. I'm just trying to help you to understand that it's not exactly something I can change."
"You can, actually. If you wanted to, you could do something about it." He muttered but Gwen pulled a face at the thought.
"No, I couldn't, and you know it as well as me, that I wouldn't." He nodded, then put his hand over hers where it still rested on his arm. He looked at their hands there for a few minutes, obviously sorting things out in his brain, and Gwen let him have that time. She understood what Jack meant when he said that Owen was only human.
He needed time to straighten out his mind, and organize his thoughts. Gwen had had to do the same thing last night after getting home from the doctor's office. She could understand Owen's need for it now. He may not have had to deal with the troubling idea of giving birth, but he did worry about her, and she could tell he cared for her deeply. Maybe this was for the better. It would give them each some space, and a chance to keep things neutral between them. Owen tipped his head back, and stared at the ceiling of the Hub for a long moment, exhaling heavily. Then he brought his face back to hers, and shook his head, smiling slightly.
"I don't know why you put up with me." He said quietly. Gwen sighed and moved to embrace him. He hesitated a second before returning her hug with a tightening of his arms.
"Because, you foolish man, I care about you." She could hear his heart beating beneath her ear as she settled her head onto his chest. "And I know how it feels."
He pressed a kiss into the top of her hair, and wondered aloud,
"Where does this put us?" She pulled her head back to stare up at him. He took the opportunity to kiss her temple.
"I don't know," She said honestly, "I wasn't sure if there was going to be an 'us'."
"I want there to be," he confided, "I can't think of what it would be like without you. I know I might get more work done, but that's hardly something to be happy about, is it?"
She laughed and shook her head, settling it back on his shoulder. He kissed her head again, and hugged her tightly. He didn't want to let her go, but she suddenly pulled away from him. A strange look crossed over her face and she darted away. Frowning, he followed her as she ran to the women's bathroom. Without stopping, she pushed the door open and ran to one of the stalls. He only hesitated briefly on the threshold, before he heard the sounds of retching and coughing.
"Gwen?" He called, as he came in after her.
She was leaning over the toilet, heaving into the bowl. She had one hand steadying her against the stall, and the other grappled with her hair, trying in vain to keep it out of the way. Thinking he might be helpful, he stepped up behind her, taking her hair with one hand, and wrapping the other around her stomach, bracing her as well as comforting. He massaged it gently as she finished, gasping and heaving. He kept her like that for a moment so that she could catch her breath, then helped her to straighten, not letting go of her. She wouldn't turn to face him, but grabbed some tissue and wiped her mouth off. Dropping it into the toilet as well, she flushed it, and leaned back against him for a few moments.
He eased her back, walking them both towards the sink. She rested her weight against the counter, before setting about rinsing her mouth out. In the other sink, Owen wet a paper towel with cool water and held it to her forehead. Shakily, Gwen caught his gaze in the mirror. His eyes were wide with worry and anxiety, and he had a somewhat pale quality to his tension filled face. Gwen wondered if that was because of her, or because of the fact that she just became violently ill in his presence.
"Feel better now?" he questioned, trying to smile for her. She took the cool towel from his hand, and held it to her own forehead. Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the wall. This time had worn her out more than the last, and Gwen suddenly remembered that she hadn't eaten anything today. She would have to soon, in case she threw up again. Then at least there would be something to throw up, rather than just bile. She licked her dry lips and grimaced. She rinsed her mouth out several more times, trying to erase the taste of it from her mouth. Owen just stood there, waiting for her to finish up, and holding her hair back when she leaned over the sink. Finally, she took a deep breath and stepped back from.
"Thanks." She murmured, incredibly embarrassed that he should have seen all of that.
"Have you eaten anything today?" He asked, worried. She shook her head a little, and the movements made her feel a little dizzy. She put a hand out to the counter to steady herself.
Owen took one look at her pale complexion, and made up his mind. Jack's comment about eating toast floated across his memory, and Owen decided then and there, regardless of the fact that the baby was not his, he was going to be keeping an eye on Gwen. She didn't look at all well, so he pulled her arm over his neck and marched her to the examination room, intent on making her lie down.
"Owen, what're you doing?" she asked, but her tone was a soft, as if she was asking because she had to, rather than out of alarm. That scared him a little, since his Gwen was the type to fight with every fiber of her being.
"How many times have you been in here today?" He questioned, sliding into what he thought of as "Doc Owen" mode much easier than normal. This woman needed some serious help, and she was going to get it, by god, whether she liked it or not. Owen grimaced a little, realizing that if she were more stable on her feet, Gwen would not be appreciating the way he was steamrollering her to rest.
"A couple times to actually throw up." She said dazedly, then put a hand to her head, "It's the first time that I've been in there twice in a day though… oh my head feels light."
"That's malnutrition. Gwen, I can't believe this, you've got to remember to eat."
He got her to lie down on the exam table, but she wouldn't sit still. She kept fidgeting and trying to sit up. Owen came over to her and pressed his hands against her shoulders.
"Lie still, and let me have a look at you. I'm going to go get you something to eat and drink, and I don't want you to move an inch until I get back." His voice was hardened with concern, but Gwen couldn't discern that.
All she heard was a ferocity that startled her into submission. She nodded, and stopped trying to get up. Owen watched her for another few seconds, as if to be sure she wasn't going to get up and leave, then hurried out to the kitchen.