So this is a GenHaya oneshot, inspired by the song Always With Me. I was flipping through my Spirited Away picture book, (Because I adore Hayao Miyazaki) and found that song in the back with some artwork. It just seemed to work for Hayate and Genma. I was originally going to use it for a Hayate-centric fic, but I like this idea better.
Disclaimer: I do not own either Naruto nor the song Always With me.
Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart Somewhere, a voice calls, in the depths of my heart
May I always be dreaming, the dreams that move my heart.
Genma was dreaming.
'Well,' He mused idly. 'I'm either dreaming or crazy.'
He knew this because if he wasn't Hayate wouldn't be standing in front him.
Hayate smiled at him, coughs not present here, it had no place. Here, a peace reached after weeks on end of silent grieving.
So many tears, of sadness, uncountable through and through
I know on the other side of them, I'll find you.
Genma said nothing, just held the Dream Hayate in silence and reflected.
He remembered the day they met, him staring down at this tiny coughing teenager. He'd asked the Hokage in, he supposed, rather condescending tone, if this was some kind of joke. 'This kid can hardly breath, how's he supposed a ninja,' he recalled asked.
He'd found himself on the ground with a sword at his throat.
Every time we fall down to the ground, we look up to the blue sky above
We wake to its blueness, as for the first time
'Shouldn't you,' Hayate had said. He paused to cough. 'Be able to defend yourself against a sick little kid?'
Genma had never underestimated the kid again. They came to form a solid friendship, which, somewhere along the line, had blossomed into love.
He remembered asking him out. It had taken him months to work up the courage. He'd walked up to Hayate and blurted out the question without tact or grace, very unlike him.
Hayate had scrunched up his face, and for a moment Genma was terrified he'd reject him.
'Okay,' He'd responded. Genma had nearly fainted from relief. The senbon he'd been chewing on had teeth marks imprinted into the metal.
Though the road is long and lonely and the end far away, out of sight
I can with these two arms, embrace the light
He vividly remembered his funeral. He'd clung onto Raidou, sobbing openly, as they stood before the memorial stone. Hayate's name was the newest edition, carved in that morning as part of the funeral services.
The Third had made a speech about the troubled times, sticking together, and Genma had mourned his lover. Raidou had held him as he sobbed into his chest, barely able to stand on his own.
As I bid farewell, my heart stops, in tenderness I feel
My silent empty body begins to listen to what is real
He'd been a broken mess for weeks. No missions, no cleaning, barely eating, showering only when Raidou would come over and force him into the bathroom.
He would wander around the village aimlessly, standing on rooftops for hours on end, just staring at the people walking the streets below.
His favorite rooftop was the Yamanaka flower shop. They grew the flowers that required direct sunlight on the roof and Genma would sit there, surrounded by the sweet scents and think. He considered death at length, and life inadvertently.
He pondered what the probability of him joining Hayate was. He'd toy with a kunai, poking at his wrists and watching the tiny droplets of blood form.
The wonder of living, the wonder of dying
The wind, town and flowers, we all dance one unity.
Raidou had found him there one day, eyes blank as they gazed at the sky without seeing. His wrists were covered with tiny cuts, the kunai lying discarded on the warm roof.
'Genma, what the hell is wrong with you!?' Raidou had demanded.
He had answered in a frighteningly emotionless voice. 'He's gone.'
Raidou had sighed. 'Yeah, Gen, he's gone. He's not coming back, but you can't just stop functioning.' He'd pulled him to his feet. 'He wouldn't want this and you know it. If he saw you like this what would he think? What would he do?'
He'd thought about it. 'He'd smack me around, and threaten me with that sword.' He'd answered finally.
Somewhere, a voice calls in the depths of my heart
Keep dreaming your dreams, don't ever let them part
Shortly after the incident on the roof, he'd started taking missions again. He had his memories of Hayate and he found, in the heat of battle, he could call on them to help him through.
He let Hayate become his guardian angel of sorts, the memories in his mind healing his broken thoughts.
The whispering voice, we never want to forget, in each passing memory
Always there to guide you
When the Sound Four had beaten him and Raidou he'd wondered if he had let another friend down, another comrade to get killed in battle.
They had recovered though, under the watchful eye of the Fifth.
When he heard about the genin who had defeated the ninja he and Raidou, former ANBU had lost to, he realized the future of Konoha.
These children, most only twelve years old, had defeated ninja with powers almost equaling that of the three sannin, created by one of the sannin. The future of Konoha was one destined for greatness.
Hayate had seen that and fought and died for it, trying to win against those who threatened the Leaf.
When a mirror has been broken, shattered pieces scattered on the ground
Glimpses of new life, reflected all around
He vowed to himself and to the Hayate in his mind that he would protect the genin, the chuunin, the children, civilians and ninja's of the leaf. He let this promise take the empty space in heart, filling him and making him whole again.
He took any mission required of him, requested them even, though he did everything with the cool grace that was expected of him, senbon slack, smirk cocky.
Window of beginning, stillness, new light of the dawn
Let my silent empty body be filled and reborn
He knew Hayate had everything to do with it, even if he had nothing to do with it all. The Hayate he felt in his heart, heard in his mind, remembered, loved, missed. His Hayate. His best friend, his lover, his companion.
He was Genma's everything, and nothing, not even his death would change that. He thought he'd lost everything when Hayate had died, but now he knew that Hayate was still here, in his memories, his actions and his thoughts. He would live a life to be proud of when he went to meet Hayate.
No need to search outside, nor sail across the sea
He would live.
Cause here shining inside me, it's right here inside me
He would protect.
I've found a brightness, it's always with me.
'You're always with me Hayate. I love you.'
So there's that. Yeah it's kinda sappy. I'm really good at that and not very good at anything else. Anyway, hope you liked it.