Wrath (Latin, ira)- noun- forceful, often vindictive anger.
The move to Stamford is easier than he thought it would be. It's almost a relief to not see her, because he knows that even though her absence leaves an ache inside of him, her presence rips him open, and he'll take the least painful option. But he still hurts. He still lies awake in early hours of the morning, flat on his back, slick with sweat and stained with tears and he's haunted. Jim Halpert is a haunted man, and he's losing weight and he feels like his skin is falling off his bones, he feels like he's decaying and there has to be some way to cope with the monsters in his head and the "I can't"s etched into his brain.
After his first few weeks in Stamford, Jim discovers through a process of trial-and-error that with enough booze he can almost mistake his heartbreak for anger, and it's so much easier that way that he embraces it. Because the thing is that a part of Jim hates Pam; he hates her for what she did to him and the pieces of him she held and destroyed, he hates her for lying to him and for lying to herself. He hates her for fucking up the best thing to ever happen to him, he hates her for his own "misinterpretation" and he hates her for making him love her anyway. And hate is so much easier to swallow than love, it goes down so much quicker- just a little taste of bitterness, just a little guilt- and it's gone, replaced by rage and blindness and blessed numbness.
When Karen asks him if she should transfer to Scranton, the choice is easy. Because Karen is smart and funny and in control, she tells him what she wants and he gives it to her, an easy exchange with no guesswork, no possibility of misinterpretation. Karen puts it all on the table, and Jim loves her for that. He needs her for that- because if Jim goes back alone, there will be no resistance. He won't be able to take it, because even talking with her on the phone made him feel like the last six months had never happened, like she had never shot all his hopes to Hell, like she had never told him she wasn't in love. He knows he'll fall apart, and he thinks maybe it's a testament to how well he knows his own weaknesses that he sleeps with Karen for the first time when she decides to come with him. Afterwards, she goes to take a shower instead of staying in bed, and he thinks it's so much better that way. It's so much easier when nobody's in love.
The morning Jim steps over the threshold of Dunder Mifflin Scranton branch, he feels like he's walking straight back into his past. Michael says something inane but Jim sees his childish excitement, and he's almost glad to be back for just a split second and then he hardly has time to think before Pam is throwing herself into his arms, and it's like an infinitely better version of six months ago because he looks and her and he can tell she really tried today, sees her hair and her outfit and how beautiful she is and her smile and for one moment, Jim is almost lost to Pam forever. But then Ryan is at his desk and he sees Karen out of the corner of his eye, and he remembers how it ended last time. He remembers how the beautiful receptionist destroyed the eager salesman. He remembers Stamford and pain. He remembers that desk and her lips and that silent rejection, and then he reminds himself of Karen- Karen, who is here with him, who is committed, who is open with her feelings, who is unafraid. And just like that the anger is back, white-hot and raging. It's easier this way.
Jim almost feels something a little like satisfaction when he turns down Pam's invitation for coffee. He almost enjoys himself, making quiet jokes with Karen and being mature and not having to impress someone who used to be fucking engaged, not like she bothered to act like it. Deep down, Jim Halpert knows this isn't like him- knows this isn't him at all- but it doesn't hurt like it used to. So he takes Karen back to his place and he makes love to her, and then he half-listens to her bitch about her new coworkers- he's used to Karen's bitching- and the little part of him that tells him this isn't right is overwhelmed by the part that says it isn't wrong. It doesn't hurt.
He'll take what he can get.