Year Six

Another alien world; another alien sky. Sam wrapped her arms around her middle and staggered out onto the balcony. The team had installed her in one of the palace bedrooms to recover from her ordeal in Nirtii's genetic machine. Her body felt weak and drained but it lacked the horrible sense that something was deeply, badly wrong that had dogged it since her first session in the machine.

She was alive.

Sam lifted her face to the sky and let the cold wind wash over. She enjoyed the way it hit her skin; the way it gave her goose-bumps and made her shiver. She enjoyed the way it filled her lungs, so sharp and fresh that it had ached. She opened her eyes; the wind stung and tears sprang up in response. She didn't stop them; allowed the moisture to run down her cheeks and freeze. It felt so good.

She stared out at the palace grounds. It was dark below; she couldn't make out any detail. She should go back inside, Sam thought wearily; get some rest. She knew the Colonel wanted to leave at first light. Get off this godforsaken rock might have been his exact words. She didn't move.

She had really felt her number was up; that her time had come. She'd spent so much of the last year mourning Daniel and the loss of him in her life, so much of her time fearing that she would lose Jack too. He had almost died when they had contracted an Ancient virus; almost died again when the Tok'ra symbiote he had taken as a last resort to cure that illness had led him into an ill fated rescue before deserting him and leaving him in the hands of Ba'al. Jack had managed to escape but it had been close. And then there had been the whole thing with Maybourne; Jack had been lost for weeks before she had worked out he had been transported to the planet's moon. Yet for all Jack's mishaps, it had almost been her who had died on their latest mission.

So many close calls.

For both of them. Maybe their luck was finally running out, Sam thought cynically. Maybe it had run out when they had lost Daniel. She could feel the grief welling up again and buried it ruthlessly. She missed her friend; missed him so much and on so many levels; it still hurt to think about him.

Sam shook herself. Her luck hadn't quite run out that day and she was alive. She blushed as she remembered the way she had curled up on Jack's shoulder; the way she had rested against him. She had needed his strength; she had needed him. She pulled a face. As much as she hated to admit it, she feared she was more in love with her CO than ever and more afraid than ever that he no longer felt the same about her.

Jack cared about her – she didn't doubt that – but she had no idea if he still loved her. She suspected that he didn't; that he had moved on. It was better that he wasn't in love with her anymore, Sam mused sadly. He couldn't be conflicted as a superior officer. He would always be her friend; she should be content with that.

She sighed deeply.

'What are you doing out of bed?'

Jack's strident tone had Sam jumping. He came to stand in the doorway behind her.

Sam gestured at the sky. 'I was just getting some air, sir.'

'Hmmm.' Jack took another couple of steps to stand beside her. He leaned down, his elbows on the balcony wall. 'You should be resting.'

Sam didn't bother replying. She rested her hip against the wall and looked up at the night sky. 'Jonas?'

Jack shrugged. 'They think Nirtii left him alone apart from the whole, you know,' he gestured, 'seduction thing.'

'Lucky him.' Sam murmured.

'How're you doing?' Jack asked gently.

Sam shrugged. 'I'm fine.'

Jack's lips quirked upward in a crooked smile.

She looked at him quizzically.

'You must be feeling better if you're claiming you're fine when you're not.' Jack explained gruffly and she realised she had scared him earlier that day when she had admitted she wasn't feeling fine at all.

'Oh.' Sam said, torn between amusement and chagrin. She shivered.

'You should get back inside.' Jack admonished; his dark eyes shone with concern and for an instant Sam could have sworn she might have seen love flickering in the chocolate depths.

'In a minute.' Sam requested softly.

'You're cold.' Jack pointed out.

Sam clutched onto the balcony wall. 'I just want to stay out for a while longer.' She was unaware of the stubborn edge to her words and oblivious to Jack's raised eyebrows.

The clouds moved and a shaft of moonlight bathed the balcony, making the grey dull stone gleam silver. Her eyes searched the sky and found the constellation she was looking for; the one Jack kept insisting looked like a dog and which was clearly a bear.

'Hey, isn't that our dog?' Jack nudged her shoulder.

'Bear.' She immediately responded.

'Carter, after all these years you can't still be denying it looks like a dog.' Jack teased. His eyes twinkled at her.

'It's a bear.' Sam insisted without heat, content with the familiarity of the exchange.

They watched until a cloud drifted over and covered the constellation from view.

'Come on.' Jack waved at the room behind them. 'Bed.' His eyes widened suddenly. 'I mean…'

'I know.' Sam smiled at his evident awkwardness. Another sign that he was definitely over her, Sam thought sadly. Otherwise he would have just teased her. She pushed away from the balcony and swayed suddenly.

Jack caught her before she could fall. He swore as he lifted her into his arms. 'Of all the stubborn women.' he muttered. He carried her back into the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed and Sam squirmed into a better position as he stepped away.

'Rest.' Jack ordered.

'Yes, sir.' Sam agreed, a wave of tiredness pulling at her. Her eyes closed on his worried face. 'Sorry.'

'Yes. Well.' Jack said. 'Just don't do it again.'

She felt him pull some blankets over her; felt their warmth begin to seep through her. 'Just wanted to look at the stars.' She muttered thickly.

'We can do that next mission, Carter.' Jack said.

'Promise?' Sam asked sleepily.

'Promise.'

Sam couldn't hold on to consciousness; the darkness beckoned. She felt the barest touch against her forehead and had the briefest moment to wonder whether Jack had kissed her. She had to have imagined it because there was no other explanation, Sam decided. She gave up and slipped into sleep.

To be continued in Year Seven