A/N: Thank you all so much for reading this story! It means so much to me that you all are enjoying it. A lot of you asked if Peyton and Lucas are going to become more than friends in this story. All I will say is that I am probably the biggest Lucas and Peyton fan ever. That should answer your question. LOL. Anyway, here's chapter eight of Judgemental!

xoxox

Gianna

Chapter 8- Another Day

The next day, I walked into school with a little more confidence than the day before. I have to admit it felt pretty damn good to punch Brooke Davis, even if that does sound completely horrible of me. I had so much anger and so many emotions bottled up inside, and Brooke made me reach my breaking point. I couldn't hold them in anymore. It was as if the cap to my bottle was ripped off, and everything that I've been feeling was taken out on her. I most certainly did not feel bad about it. At all.

While walking to my locker, you can probably guess what I heard, The usual whispers. I was used to it. They didn't even bother me anymore. Girls all around me were talking about how I kicked Brooke's ass and how they couldn't believe it.

Later that day, I saw her. She had dark bruises around her cheek bone with a butterfly stitch on her eyebrow. I suddenly was having flashbacks of when my Dad hurt me, and I never felt worse. I needed to go somewhere. Anywhere. I couldn't look at her and see what I had done to her. I felt like a monster, almost like I was following in my father's foot steps. I couldn't be him. I wouldn't be him. I can't surrender to darkness and evil. I have to rise above it. I have to get passed it. I have to apologize.

I swallow a lump in my throat and walk over to Brooke. "Hi, Brooke. How you feeling?" I ask.

"You have got to be kidding me. Can I help you with something?" she asked rudely.

"I just wanted to apologize for hurting you yesterday," I say.

"Apology not accepted. You can go now."

I nodded my head and walked away.

"That went well," I said to myself.

Why was I doing this? Why was I apologizing? I wasn't the bad guy. Why did I always make myself the villian when I wasn't? I have to stop doing that. I have to stop trying to always make things right especially when something can't be fixed. It's not fair to me.

At lunch, I went to sit with Lucas just like I did everyday.

"Peyton, what's wrong? You've been quiet this whole day," Lucas asks me.

"I don't know. I guess I just kind of feel bad for hurting Brooke. It's like when I see her, I think of how my Dad used to beat me and I don't want to be like him. I want to be different and not give into temptation," I say.

"Peyton. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault," Lucas says seriously.

"Then why do I feel like it is?"

"Because you make things seem worse than they have to be. You always make yourself the person who should be ashamed, but you shouldn't be."

I take a deep breath. "Why does my life have to be so complicated?"

"Everyone's life is complicated, but it's your job to try and uncomplicate everything. Stop blaming yourself for the bad things that happen."

I nod. "Ok."

Through out the day, I try to take Lucas' advice. Don't take the blame for the bad things in life. I replay the words over and over again in my head so I remember. He was right. Not everything was my fault.

"Peyton Sawyer please report to the principal's office immediately," the lady on the loud speaker said.

Everyone watched as I got up from my seat in English and walked out the door. I wondered why I was being called down. Had I done anything wrong? I didn't think so. Then I remembered the fight with Brooke. Oh great. Just what I need.

I walked into Principal Turner's office closing the door behind me.

"Ms. Sawyer, have a seat," he said pointing to the chair in front of his desk.

I sit down slowly and look aimlessly around the room.

"I understand that after school yesterday there was a fight yesterday between you and Ms. Brooke Davis. Is that correct?" Principal Turner asks.

"Yes," I whisper.

"And I am told that you were the only one that was using physical violence. Is that also correct?"

I sigh and nod my head. "Yes, sir."

"Ms. Sawyer, you have seen Brooke's face, haven't you?"

"Yes, I've seen it and I tried apologizing," I say avoiding looking at him.

"Look, I know that you're going through a hard time right now and I know how you feel, but-"

"Hard time? Hard Time? Is that what you think I'm going through?" I ask all of the sudden so angry.

"Peyton, stop raising your voice and just-"

"No! You don't even know what I'm going through right now. I was just in the hospital because I was in a coma for three months. And do you know why I was in a coma, Principal Turner? Because my father beat me. Now, my Dad is in jail and my mom is dead because she overdosed on drugs. So don't ever say you know how I feel because you don't! No one does!" I yell as I get up and walk out of the office.

I walk back to English and sit back down next to Lucas. My breathing becomes very heavy because I am on the verge of crying.

Lucas looks over at me and sees my eyes welling with water. "Hey, Peyton. What happened?" he whispers.

I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

He nods his head and continues to pay attention to the lesson Mrs. Browne is giving us. Every few minutes he would look at me to see if I was ok. Lucas was a great friend, and I was lucky to have him.

At the end of the day, Lucas and I drove home. I liked calling Lucas' house my home because it was more of a home than I ever had. When I'm there, I feel safe from harm. It's very honest too. What I mean is you can be yourself, free from all the excess noise, media, and interruption, both literally and metaphorically speaking. Home is where the heart is, and my heart was definately there.

"So what did Principal Turner want?" Lucas asked while we drove from school.

"He just wanted to know about the fight between Brooke and I yesterday," I say looking out the window.

"What did you say?"

"Well, he started telling me that he knew how I felt, and I kind of flipped out on him. Then, I walked out the door before he said anything else."

He nods his head.

We pull into the driveway and walk inside.

"Peyton, can I talk to you for a second?" Karen asks.

"Umm, yeah. Sure. What's up?"

"I got a call from Principal Turner saying that you were an emotional wreck today in his office. He said that you were fighting with Brooke yesterday and that you haven't been yourself lately." She stopped before continuing. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I was just in a bad mood, I guess."

"You guess or you know?" she asks.

I inhale then exhale deeply. "Brooke was just saying stuff about my Dad being in jail because he used to beat me, and I just lost it. I started to punch her, and all of the sudden I couldn't stop. It's like something had taken over my body and wanted me to keep hurting her. Lucas finally came and pulled me away from Brooke, but honestly if he hadn't come, she, most likely, would have been in the hospital." Tears begin to fill my eyes. "I don't want to be like him, ya know?"

"I know. Peyton, you are not him. You're nothing like him. You will go places in life unlike him who will be in jail a long time because of his mistakes," Karen says reaching over and wiping the tear away from my cheek.

A few moments later, I walked to the doorway of Lucas' room.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi."

"You can come in if you want," he says motioning for me to sit next to him.

I walk into the room and sit down on the bed next to him. I rest my head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around me.

"Things are going to get better, ok?" he says.

"How do you know?" I ask.

"Well, things always have to get worse before they get better. Take the flu, for example. When you're sick like that you have to get really sick, and then you eventually get better."

I smile a little. "Thanks, Luke."

"Why are you always thanking me for everything I say?" he asks.

"Because you deserve it. You've done so much for me. I don't know what I would do with out you and you're family."

"You'd be fine. You were always strong, Peyton. You just didn't believe it."

"I guess," I say.

He smiles and wraps his arm tighter around my shoulder while kissing the side of my forehead.

The touch of his lips surges through my whole body causing me to tingle inside. I try to brush away the feeling, but it remains.

There was a knock at the door. "Hey, Peyt. How you doing?" Lily asks.

"I'm ok," I say lifting my head up from Lucas' shoulder.

I catch her grinning at me and raising her eyebrow a little.

"I can see that," she says crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah. I guess things have to get worse before they can get better," I say looking up at Lucas. He smirks at me.

"Well, I just wanted to see how you were holding up. By the looks of it, you seem to be good," Lily says leaving the room.

Lucas apparently doesn't understand what she meant by that because his face shows no embarrassment. It's either that or he's ignoring it.

I grab a piece of paper and crayons that were on his nightstand by his bed, and I begin to draw. This time my drawing isn't dark. It shows happiness. It's a rising sun. The sunrise shows beauty, wonder, and hope. It is a reminder of how good it is to be alive. I mix colors of purple, blue, red, pink, and gold to show the dramatic effect of a sunrise. I try to draw the mesmerizing impact on someone a sunrise can have.

I feel Lucas looking over my shoulder. "Wow, Peyton that's beautiful."

I grin at him. "Tell me what you feel when you look at this," I say to him while holding up the picture.

"What do you mean?"

"Just tell me the vibe you get from this drawing."

"I guess I feel calm and still like nothing else is in the world matters," Lucas says shrugging his shoulders.

I'm satisfied with his answer.

I close my eyes and imagine that I am watching a sunrise. It's simple, but still dramatic with the glow of warmth that fills my body. I open my eyes up to find Lucas looking quizzically at me.

I laugh a little and then go back to resting my head on his shoulder. I feel has hand caressing my back.

I am happy with Lucas. My fears slip away whenever he is next to me. I feel like I have something to believe in again whenever I look into his blue eyes.

I can't imagine not knowing Lucas. He's changed my life so much. With out him, I probably wouldn't even be alive.

Lucas was my walking guardian angel. I compare him to this because he influences my life every time I am with him. Every step I take, Lucas' face enters my mind.

Lucas saved me from myself, from my parents, from everyone.

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