Chapter Twenty-Nine: A Flight to Peace And Quite

After the shuttle took off the two figures were sitting across from one another. The very large figure sat there unmoving but the smaller more weaker in appearence was trying to get into a comfertable position with no luck. But when it did it sat there unmoving also staring at nothing in particular.

On first appearance they acted so much alike but when you got on the surface of the issue they were totally and completely different. But soon very soon they were going to be more connected than they are now.

River sat there in so much pain but she didn't want to make herself look weak by saying anything about her discomfort. So she did what she normally did when she didn't dare use the force and she just stared at the wall past Grievous' head and zoned. And when she zoned her face went blank and her eyes were as closed as closed could be. (By saying closed it means nobody can read what she is thinking. Her eyes are open.)

Grievous sat across from her deep in thought. He could sense her pain and not wanting to be taken weak. But if she had said something he would have done to the best of his abilities to make her more comfortable. But she didn't say anything so neither did he. After a while he looked up to study her face. It was blank and her eyes were sort of glazed over but there were tears in them and he had a pretty good idea what was going on inside her head.

She was looking past him so he followed her gaze to see that it landed on the wall beside his head. He looked back at her then back at the wall, River didn't move it was like she was trying to shut everything out including him. For some reason it bothered him but he didn't say anything he just knew that he had a compelling feeling to pick her up and hold her and let her cry because he could tell she was on the verge of crying.

He was still watching her with worry in his eyes when River closed her eyes and held her head in her hands and she slowly shook it from side to side. She opened her eyes as if realizing that she was being watched looked at him and wiped away what tears had slowly crept from her eyes and she sighed.

"You know you don't have to be so strong," he said keeping his voice quite.

She looked at him intently.

"Oh but I do... I have always had to because when I've felt like crumbling there was no one there to pick up the pieces and put me back together." she said trying to win a losing battle with herself.

"But as I said a long time ago you didn't need be so strong when something like this happened because I was always going to be there and I'm here now." he said trying to be convincing.

"Its sooo much more complicated than that. As I grew up I was always around at least one of my parents. I never had to worry about losing something unless it was a treasured plaything. But the winter before I met you and your sister my mother died... my father wasn't there to comfort me no one was there at all so the only thing I could do was to hide it, keep it bottled up inside. I felt like I didn't belong in my own clan. Then things changed that up coming summer I was to turn fifteen... I met two people who changed my life for the better. I was accepted into their clan and treated like family but I still couldn't show that I had a weakness. Through out the years life carried out its course. I became a warrior... I fell in love. And then my father dies... Even though I only saw him on a rare occasion he was the most important role in my life. He had inspired me to become a warrior and strive for what I wanted to achieve. And when I lost that there was no replacing it. Yes I forgot about the void by filling another but I will always have that empty void. And then disaster struck... my life and every body's else's life that I loved was turned upside down also. And I had nobody to go to. I disappeared my survival instinct kicking in and I waited... and waited. Then a year later my life started to go in a better direction. I became an apprentice, had a master that I cared about, she dies... another blow. Then I become a apprentice again but this time I'm struggling to please... using every fiber of my being not to show disrespect to some one I greatly admire and I mean greatly. Then I met Daniel what an incompetent droid I was. I trusted him gave him my love freely and unquestioning and to have it turn around and slap me in the face... And I do feel like crumbling and showing my weakness sharing my pain but I am compelled not to."

After she said this she sat back not looking any better than when she started and was silent not wanting to say more.

The rest of the trip was a silent one neither wanting to break the silence.