Title: Carpe Diem
Pairing: Joshua x Neku
Rating: NC - 17 (In later chapters - as of now, it's only PG-13-ish)
Summary: After a year of undisturbed peace, a freak accident drags Neku Sakuraba back into the hectic and dangerous UG. This time, however, the stakes are higher not only for the fourth-time Player, but the Composer as well.
Comments: Joint 'fic between Caitlin ( feverishlove on LJ)
and myself. Prepare for a decently long fic, 'cause we're probably already 6 or so chapters in, and still going.
WARNING: Joshua and Neku start out IC, but start drifting slightly OOC as the fic goes on.
--oo0oo--
Carpe Diem
Capitulus quinque
'And where will that leave you, Josh? Here in the UG, constantly attacked for saving me?...I'll never get to see you, or hear your annoying voice again. ...Maybe I don't want to go, ever thought about asking me?..' He winced somewhat and took a seat a table away, lost in his own thoughts. He knew nothing about strategies.
The other two continued on without the Brunette, though they did ask for his opinion every now and then - but they were both able to tell Neku wanted to be left alone for the most part. They gave him his space - after all, they still had some time left. It'd be better to wait until he's ready before seriously considering anything dangerous.
It was only about an hour or two before the sun began to set, making Sanae get up and turn on a few lights at the front of the store before it got too terribly dark. "Hey, Phones." The Producer walked over to the boy who still seemed lost in thought, patting him on the back. "It's gettin' late... why don't you take a rest? Would probably do you some good."
"Yeah...back room all right?" he questioned and got to his feet, looking tired, exhausted, and pensive. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about the way Joshua had looked at him only hours before and the first time he had kissed him. God damnit, it was gentle and something a lover would do and... he needed to stop thinking before he threw his hands up in utter confusion. Sure, he was attracted to Joshua, that he knew for certain, and he deduced Joshua was attracted to him, but that was the thing.
Was it just attraction for Josh? No strings attached?
"There's a bed upstairs, in my room. You can use that if you like - Joshua and I will stay here for a while, hold down the fort." Sanae motioned to the stairs just to the right of the hall.
"You sure that's all right?" Neku wondered and tilted his head slightly. "I don't want to intrude or anything," he admitted and walked over to the stairs, glancing up. "There's not a plethora of rooms up there, right? I don't want to walk into the wrong room or something."
"Nah, just two. Other one's the bathroom - I don't think you'll get too confused." Mr. H chuckled, sitting back down at the booth, Joshua concentrating reading whatever book he had in his hand. "It's no trouble at all. I'll take the couch, and-" He stopped himself, looking a little torn for just a moment. "On second thought, I'll sleep here on the booth. Josh can have the couch." Considering what went on there earlier today, he wasn't sure he even wanted to sit on it anymore.
Neku couldn't help but snicker some. "Are you positive?...I can take something other than the bed," he murmured and shrugged his shoulders absently, looking between Josh, who wasn't paying attention to him, and Mr. H.
"Don't worry about it. You need the rest more so than either of us. We're fine." The cafe owner waved a hand, completely sincere.
"Fine..." Neku nodded. "Goodnight," he called quietly and headed upstairs. He found the bedroom with ease and walked in, absently glancing around the quaint room. Nothing too special or bland. Just what he had expected from Mr. H. He sighed and walked over to the bed, sitting down before convincing himself to lay down. He knew he'd be up for awhile.
The moon finally began to rise only about an hour later, though the streets of Shibuya didn't exactly quite down - if anything, the shuffling of feet and constant chattering became louder now that there was less traffic, teens and young adults wandering around, experiencing the Shibuya night life.
Joshua and Mr. H were fairly quiet down stairs, although a couple of times there was a clattering or two, and at one point, the sound of a chair beings knocked over, for whatever reason. Because the room Neku was staying in was so quiet, every other noise around him seemed amplified, adding to the already problematic issue of catching any sleep.
Neku couldn't sleep even if he wanted to. T he noises continued to plague him, making him wonder if something was happening, if it even would. The Angels were after him and Joshua, right? Him because he was supposed to be taken by them and Joshua because he had broken the rules. The brunet groaned some quietly under his breath and rolled on his side, staring at the wall and small window. He couldn't see outside due to the curtains pulled, and perhaps that was a good thing.
His body remained stiff as he laid there, his restless mind not letting him sleep. All of this could have been avoided if he hadn't been so careless...but then again... 'Maybe I kinda did want this to
happen...'
Long minutes passed by, the constant sounds of Shibuya echoing quietly in the bedroom walls. Slowly, a hand reached out to brush a few brown strands of hair out of the boy's eyes, a soft, familiar voice whispering quietly. "You seem troubled." Joshua spoke, somehow making it upstairs and through the door so quietly it was almost ghost-like. He even took a seat next to the resting boy on the bed beside him without causing Neku to stir. "Can't sleep?"
Neku didn't jump up or holler in surprise all because of the softness and familiarity of the voice. His eyes remained shut. "How am I supposed to in a place like this?" he murmured quietly and visibly relaxed the slightest, his eyes cracking open some to eye the silveret beside him.
"Is the bed really that uncomfortable? Sanae sleeps in it every night, and I don't see him with a walking bout of insomnia." Joshua smirked slightly, fingers still lingering at the very side of the brunet's face, idly playing with his hair in a very gentle manner.
"Not used to it, I suppose," Neku explained in a quiet murmur. "Plus, anxiety is keeping me awake," he admitted and flicked his gaze to the right to watch the nimble fingers. "You staying long?" he wondered, hoping to hide the hopefulness in his voice.
The silver-haired Composer chuckled slightly. "Sanae dozed off downstairs after we were done figuring out what we could..." He nodded faintly, giving his partner a smile. "So yes, I supposed I could stay a while."
Neku closed his eyes and shifted some on the bed. "Lay down, I'm sure it's a lot more comfortable than the couch," he offered and rolled onto his other side so he could watch the Composer.
"Oh my, Neku" Joshua giggled, bringing a hand up to his mouth as he mockingly acted as if he was astounded Neku would even consider such a thing. "Are you hitting on me again? Remember what happened the last time you did that..." He purred, leaning forward and placing both hands on the covers at either side of Neku's chest, grinning down at the boy mischievously.
Neku gulped and averted his gaze as a small blush formed on his cheeks. "Very funny, Josh," he mumbled and attempted to control his breathing. A thought clicked in his mind as he lay there awkwardly. "...I wanted to talk to you about something, actually..."
"Hmm?" Joshua blinked, halfway surprised that the brunet didn't give in to his seduction technique. He must be out of practice. "What is it?"
So many questions...god damnit he had so many that he wanted to ask and the only thing that managed to escape his confused was, "What is going on, Josh?" His voice trailed off as he spared a glance up at the Composer.
Joshua couldn't help but give him a baffled stare, for once, totally and completely lost. That doesn't happen often. "What do you mean, 'what's going on'? I thought I explained all this to you before."
"No, not this," Neku mumbled and made a gesture to all around them. He cleared his throat and instead raised an uncertain hand to rest in Joshua's hair. "I meant..." He had difficulties with the pronoun... "Us."
Almost like a child, the fair haired Composer simply stared at Neku for some time, blinking as his facial expressions changed every few seconds, trying to comprehend what exactly was the truth, and what his partner wanted to hear. "Us...?" He finally spoke up, trying to cover up his nervous state by playing dumb.
"Us," he repeated and absently brushed his fingers along Joshua's jaw, unable to hide the trembling in his fingers. "This," he went on to explain vaguely, eyes not entirely focusing on the Composer in fear of him getting upset or tossing him aside entirely.
Joshua watched him with a careful gaze, unsure of how to react from all this. He supposed it was normal for him to question the sort of thing going on between them, but he also expected Neku to just accept it without a second thought. "What do you think this is?" He asked quietly.
Neku bit his bottom lip, trying his best to remain calm and think of a legit answer. He closed his eyes and pondered for a second. He didn't want to come out and say because--although he would never admit that either--he was afraid of being rejected by what seemed to be the only person who had accepted him as a person.
"...I can't think anything if you don't tell me," Neku decided, eyes wandering up to him. "You're the one that started it," he pointed out quietly with a shrug, trying to hide his nerves.
Joshua relaxed a bit, shifting his weight onto one arm, one leg partially hanging off the bed. "Well..." The silver-haired boy began, his gaze shifting away momentarily, smiling softly, but was nowhere near as comfortable as he looked. "I wasn't just using you to rid myself of sexual frustration, if that's what you're worried about."
Neku watched Joshua, obviously confused by his words. If that hadn't been it, as he had earlier perceived, then what? He bit his lip and couldn't help the next question that came pouring out of his lips. "What do I mean to you, Josh?" He inwardly regretted asking the blunt question but figured it may answer more than just one question.
At first it seemed he caught the Composer off guard, his eyes widening for a few moments, before he just barely relaxed again, coming to terms with the fact that he, Joshua Kiriyu, had had been backed into a corner.
"You, Neku..." He began with a soft smile, reaching up to gently brush his fingers against his cheek, gazing at him rather fondly. "Are my proxy - my toy, my trump card in the Reaper's Game... but I've found that you're also a brave warrior and a wonderful friend. I found myself regretting letting you go when you lost to me, for my own selfish reasons..." A soft chuckle. "I missed you dearly, and I am happy beyond words to simply have you by my side again."
Friendship. That was what Joshua was talking about. Neku doubted in his mind that Joshua had ever had a friend before, so perhaps these warm and seemingly affectionate touches were what friends did--they helped each other and comforted them. The idea relaxed Neku, eased his restless mind, but at the same time crushed a part of him that yearned for more. He sat there for a moment, eying Joshua with that part of him that desired more. And as he sat there, that part become more prominent in his mind. True, he had wanted Joshua to be a friend, someone he could trust and laugh with and smile at but...
It was a hard concept to grasp that he just wanted more. God, he was being so selfish. "I'm glad," Neku decided in a quiet whisper, praying that his words wouldn't betray him and demonstrate his shuddering yearn for something more from his friend.
Although he should have rejoiced at his partner's warm reply, Joshua couldn't help but find something in his voice he was ... both afraid, and hoping to hear. Was the disappointment in his voice from him overstepping a boundary, or because he didn't go far enough...?
What was that one girl... Shiki? At a time like this, he imagined she'd say something along the lines of, 'follow your heart' - or something equally as corny. He didn't have much to lose at this point, anyway.
Slowly the Composer leaned down, cupping the brunet's cheek and kissed him softly, allowing himself to pour his emotions into his actions, for the first time in his afterlife. "Neku," He breathed, eyes closing as he willed himself not to look in the boy's eyes, afraid of how he might react. "I love you."
If those three words had come from anyone else, or any time else Neku would have regarded them with a simple scoff and a 'no'. He would have cast aside the emotions and labeled them as false and deceiving. He had never gotten close enough to a person to love so therefore he knew in his heart that it was impossible for someone to love him.
But Joshua had risked his own being, all of Shibuya, just to give him another chance in the RG. And his reasons made sense to him now. Joshua loved him. Loved everything, he assumed. The bickering, the teasing, the smirks, the giggles he tossed him, because Josh knew deep down, more than likely, that nothing he could do in a teasing manner would ever truly hurt the brunet.
The kiss rendered him speechless almost as much as the words had. His body trembled and he grabbed hold of the hand that held his cheek. His fingers curled around the wrist, forcefully holding the hand in place. His heart beat erratically and he found it suddenly hard to do anything but breathe and hold that wrist.
Unable to speak, Neku instead dropped his hold on the wrist and slung his arms tightly around the Composer's frail player-body, pulling him close against him as he hid his face, body raking with a sudden onslaught of emotion. He didn't know how to do this. Joshua had made the confession seem so simple, so pure...and Neku was afraid of screwing it up.
His fingers clenched at the fabric on the back of the Composer's shirt as he held him close, unable to let him go, speak, or initiate anything romantically affectionate.
But god, he hoped this was enough for this brief moment in time. He didn't want to lose this. "Josh..." he breathed out at last, the name being all he could say.
Joshua had been startled at first by the lack of reaction, but he let all sense of worry go once he felt Neku's arms wrap around him, breathing out a purely content sigh. He... hadn't been rejected. He was welcomed. Slowly he returned the gesture and snuck his arms around the brunet's back, holding him just as tightly as he buried his face in the crook of the boy's neck. "I'll do anything to protect you... to make sure you're happy." He whispered softly, affectionately running his fingers through those soft orange locks. "I know I'm usually a stuck-up ass... but I love you, Neku. So much... and I want you to know I'll be here for you, no matter how this turns out. I'll find a way."
Neku felt the words sting at his heart and eyes, causing tears to form in his eyes for no reason. He wasn't sad nor was he upset. Perhaps it was because of the soft words and the honesty behind him, or the overwhelming amount of emotions and relief. His breath hitched against his own accord and he kept his arms, trembling and all, tightly woven around Joshua's body.
When he finally found his voice, a mixture of a whimper and a whisper, he managed, "I don't want to leave you..." He wanted to be alive but he didn't want to go back to living his life with just his friends. He was beginning to adore this attention and daresay love and just... He choked on his next sentence, "I need you with me.
Joshua leaned back to give him a melancholy smile. "You don't belong here," His words were oddly harsh, but he laced them with such sincerity and concern, it was almost overshadowed. "You belong in the RG - with your friends, and your family. The Game doesn't suit you." He leaned in to place one more chaste kiss upon Neku's lips. "But... I suppose it's in my power to visit every now and then? I'm only busy every couple of weeks, after all."
"Joshua..." His fingers ended up tangling back into the other's hair, eyes illuminated by the dim glowing of the moon outside and the lights of Shibuya that seemed to be on all the time, only shielded slightly by the thin curtain. His breathing was quiet, and yet intense, as his fingers loosely clung to the silver strands.
"You risked your entire life...your job and everything to save me, Josh... I want..." He paused, as if debating whether or not to shut up and be quiet before he exposed any more truths. But he continued on. "...I want to be with you," he finished and averted his gaze, voice trailing off into the quietness.
The silver-haired Composer sighed, doing his best to keep a smile going. In a way, this was very bittersweet...he wanted Neku to stay by his side as well, but the psychological strain of staying in the UG, in his Game, would be too much for a kind person like Neku. "So... you intend to stay dead, and never be able to talk to your friends and family ever again?" He whispered quietly, taking no time in sugar-coating his question. "You would be able to see them, but they wouldn't see you. Do you honestly think you could deal with that? You wouldn't be able to leave Shibuya... you would see the Game being played over and over again - Players being tested, watching them struggle with unbearable pain until they they're
erased..." He paused, debating whether or not to tell his partner this. "You would see another side of me that I do not want you to see."
Neku allowed the words to filter into his mind. He allowed his mind to sift through the positive and the negative, the good and the bad. He remained silent for a long moment. He had made a promise to spend time with his friends, even after the game. Help them out. Take care of them as they did to him in that friendly manner. Yet here was Joshua, with no one to take care of him apart from the stern and meaningful words of Mr. H.
"...I'll go back to the RG," he decided and allowed his gaze to wander off. "But I don't care about your other side. Isn't it true that to truly love someone you have to know every side of them? Embrace every side?" he mused and glanced back at his partner, words lingering on his lips. "But if you want me to stay, if you want me to stay, then say so, damnit...because I will. I will if you want me to..." He fought off the stinging tears. 'Because a part of me doesn't want to go...and all it's looking for is a reason, Josh'.
Joshua closed his eyes, obviously having inner conflict as well. "Neku..." He whispered, completely torn in two. He wanted so desperately to believe it would be okay to have his partner here, but in reality...it would be so much more complicated. He was being selfish - he was the one who didn't want Neku here. He was the one who didn't want him to endure the sight of the Game. He was the one who didn't want to have to show his true colors to the one he held most dear. Was that... was that really fair?
Slowly the Composer intertwined his fingers with Neku's, holding his hand tightly. "Of course I want you to." He shook his head, making no effort to hide the pain in his expression. "I want you to stay here and never leave my side again. But Neku... at the same time... I don't want to put you through the pain, either. I can visit you in the RG as many times as you want me to... it would just... be a little like a long-distance relationship. I won't be there 24/7, but I'll do my best to see you at least once every day."
Neku pondered that for a moment. He knew seeing Joshua constantly, twenty four seven may be bad for his health, and it wasn't fair to his friends not to see them sometimes... "Every day?" he repeated, as if to clarify, and looked to Joshua rather meaningfully. If it wasn't at least for a bit every day then he would just suffer through the UG to stay here.
He took a deep breath then.
The silver-haired boy opened his mouth to reply, but paused for a moment, giving Neku a solemn, but sincere look. "I can't promise I will, without a doubt, see you every single day. There may be times the UG needs my guidance... but I can promise you I will do my best to try. After all, nothing can keep me from you for too long." He sealed his words with another kiss, gripping his hand once more in an affectionate manner. "I'm omnipotent. I'm sure I could do something to allow you to visit me from time to time as well. Without the dying part." He gave his partner a smug grin.
Neku grinned. "If I go longer than a week without seeing you, I will go down to Wildkat and force Mr. H to somehow get me to see you," he snickered and sighed after a moment, eyes shutting at the pleasantness of all the touches. "This...could work. I mean, I'd still have time to see my friends, but then I'd also have time to see you," he mused and slowly interlaced their fingers again. "I mean, I'm not that dependent," he joked and lightly tilted his head up to initiate his own chaste kiss, wanting to kiss that
smug little grin right off Joshua's face.
The Composer chuckled wholeheartedly, leaning down so that their noses barely touched in something reminiscent of a nuzzle. "Mm, perhaps I am." He replied, only partially joking. "I may end up coming to see you at inconvenient times. Perhaps while you're changing in the boys' locker room at school... not that something like that would be inconvenient for me." He laughed, leaning down to plant a few kisses along the boy's neck. "Or while you're taking a shower... mm... I kind of like this idea."
Neku couldn't help but release a soft moan at those words and kisses. "To which I'll...politely shove you out of my shower," he whispered and flushed a dark red, trying not to think up the images. But the kisses were distracting him and he couldn't help but utter out a simple, breathless, "Josh.."
"I don't think..." He breathed, only pausing his words every now and then to plant more kisses, this time moving down his shoulder. "That you would want to...start a fight with me... even in the RG, Neku" He grinned inwardly. "You wouldn't win."
"Y-yeah...I would...," he muttered stubbornly and arched his neck, eyes shutting to half-mast as pleasant tingles raced down his back, down to his toes to which he curled. "You just...want to see me naked and wet," he argued his point and gasped a bit at a particularly sensitive spot that had been kissed.
"Mm, can't argue there..." The Composer admitted a little too eagerly, his free hand snaking downwards to tickle the brunet's skin just under the hem of his shirt. "That's quite the image... I should store that in my memory for later use."
Neku rolled his eyes. "P-pervert," he mumbled with really no objections, his back arching slightly at the touch. He blinked some. "You know...he'll kill us if we do anything in his bed," he noted as he tangled his hand back into Joshua's hair.
"Let him. I'm not moving." Joshua mumbled, his kissing trailing down towards his partner's collarbone, before he deducted the oversized collar of his shirt made things a little too difficult. Without any sort of warning, he pulled the blue and black top up, nearly taking it off all the way had it not been for Neku's arms still being down. "Off." Was all he could muster. He never had a way with words while he was lusting, he supposed.
Neku smirked some and lifted his arms, removing the rest of the shirt. "Going for...completely naked this time, Josh?" he teased with a small smirk, his own hand beginning to undo the buttons on the shirt that Joshua wore. He was actually insanely excited to see him shirtless...what a pervert himself.
"Of course. Wouldn't have it any other way." Joshua grinned, helping Neku undo his own shirt, before he tossed the light blue fabric aside in the same fashion as he did with the brunet's top. He drank in the sight before him - Neku, shirtless, lightly panting and slightly flushed, laying sprawled out beneath him.
He almost came just looking at him.
"You look so damn good, it should be a sin." The Composer chuckled, leaning down to place a wet kiss at the center of the boy's chest.
Despite hoe he wanted to remain smug himself and whatnot, he couldn't help but lightly pant and gasp quickly at the kiss. "You don't look too bad yourself," he admitted and allowed his hand to leave Joshua's hair and venture down onto his exposed back, tracing ambiguous patterns onto the flesh. A smirk appeared on his lips before he nonchalantly wrapped that wandering arm around Joshua's waist and experimentally lifted his hips to Josh's.
Joshua gasped at the intense pleasure the simple touch brought, eagerly grinding his hips back down to meet Neku's. "I already...know that..." He laughed, though parts of his words bled into more of a moan. The Composer continued to rock his hips against the brunet's, each rhythmic thrust getting gradually harder and longer, his breath becoming quicker and heavier. A little nudge from the back of his mind told him he wanted more than just this - he wanted to feel Neku, skin on skin; but at the moment, something as simple this was doing a damn good job as far as he was concerned.
"Josh..." Neku breathed out the other's name as if it were some prayer or whatnot. His eyes remained half closed, half opened, as he laid beneath the older, rotating his hips up into the older's. His usually defiant blue eyes were hazed over with lust and apparent affection. A hand reached back up into the silveret's hair, tangling once more with the soft strands of hair he had always envied.
"So good..." he moaned, barely coherently, as he arched his hips up more.
Joshua's words weren't any more coherent, practically being drowned in his groans of pleasure. "Neku..." His hands roamed south, slowing the grinding down until he could unsnap the button of Neku's baggy shorts. "Let me have you..." He whispered, his lips barely touching the boy's beneath him before giving him a deep, passionate kiss. "I want you...so bad, Neku..."
"Then have me," he whispered back, hands exploring down Joshua's back again greedily. His shyness was rubbing off a bit and he became a bit more desperate, needy, curious. His daring hands roamed down the clothed backside of his partner, down his legs as far as his reach would allow, and then back up onto the bare skin.
His words were all he needed to erase any hint of hesitation from his mind, before he hastily undid his own pants and kicked them off almost clumsily towards the end of the bed, leaving him naked - save for a pair of dark blue boxers. He tried to hush the constant moans Neku was eliciting with his wandering hands, but was fairly unsuccessful with his efforts. Without missing a beat, he reached back to Neku's shorts and finished undoing those, before trying to practically rip them off his legs.
He wasn't the least bit impatient.
Neku rolled his eyes at how impatient Joshua was being. He wasn't eager to lose his virginty at all. Nope. Joshua was probably disdainful about the whole process and-- oh who was he kidding? Certainly not Neku. The brunet knew Joshua wanted this so badly. So much that Neku couldn't even fathom the amount.
His legs shifted as he assisted Joshua in the removal of his pants. "You're not eager at all, are you?" teased Neku.
"I wanted to screw your brains out before Sanae so kindly interrupted us before." Joshua grumbled, leaning up and nipping at Neku's ear as his hand wandered over the soft fabric of the boy's boxers, rubbing his palm against his heated member. "Not to mention that damned mission...fucking world was out to get me..."
Neku smirked and moaned some at the touch, trying his best to stay remotely quiet. God...why the hell was Joshua so good at this? "P-probably really piss you off if Mr. H interrupted us again if he heard," he teased breathlessly and leaned his head back, gasping some.
"He'll wish he hadn't," Joshua replied, his breath heavy and voice dripping with annoyance simply at the thought of it. Neku has yet to see him truly pissed - it's not a pretty sight. He didn't want the brunet to have to endure something as horrific as that.
Realizing he could no longer simply pleasure Neku without receiving anything himself, the silver-haired boy none too gently pried the boy out of his boxers, leaving him no time to feel embarrassed or shy about being completely naked in the Composer's hungry eyes.
"We'll just...be extra careful," Neku decided in a murmur and averted his gaze at his partner's over eagerness. His hand absently trailed down Joshua's exposed back and to the waistband on the back of the Composer's boxers. His fingers tugged gingerly on the material, deciding it'd be easier that way.
Despite his increasingly growing need, Joshua found the patience to let Neku slide the unwanted fabric off on his own, kicking it off one foot. Without hesitation, he returned his attention to the brunet beneath him, leaning forward to nip and lick at the boy's collarbone before grinding their hips together once more with an even louder groan - this time without any barriers, tantalizingly hot skin against skin.
Neku's head at once tossed backward on an impulse. He let out a deep moan at the touch, his breath hitching afterwards. He panted weakly and moved his hips back up against Joshua's, the pleasure shooting from his groin to his stomach and legs. He awkwardly hooked both of his rather skinny legs around Joshua's waist, wanting to touch more skin and bring their hips together harder. He wasn't addicted to this at all...
Joshua wasn't that far from the same stupor Neku was already lost in, all other sound and music he usually heard from the ever-changing spirit and life of Shibuya being completely drowned out by pleasure and lust, only able to hear his own labored breathing and Neku's constant moans. "Neku..." He half whispered, voice reverting to almost a whimper as he tried to breath, muscles tensing as he rocked back against the brunet's hips, losing himself in the raw euphoria the contact brought, his own hardened length pressing against his partner's desperately. "I-I want..." He choked, taking in a breath and deciding he couldn't trust his own voice anymore. He slowed his hips just enough before he once again ceased the contact, snaking an arm under one of his legs and prying him open, completely exposed. Shakily, he positioned himself at Neku's entrance, leaning forward and breathing beside the boy's ear as he spoke
again, voice drowning in the evident lust they both shared. "I want to make you mine..."
Neku would never admit to saying these words or phrase after this night. He didn't view himself as an object but... "I want to be yours," he whispered out breathlessly as he gripped onto Joshua's hip for support. His eyes opened some as he stared at the silveret with a forced, half smile. It wasn't that he wasn't happy, he was ecstatic, but simple things like smiling were suddenly extremely difficult. His fingers shakily squeezed the other's hip before murmuring. "Well...w-what are you waiting for?" he questioned, trying not to seem like a complete pile of whimpering mush.
Joshua could barely stand it - crushing his lips to Neku's passionately, he stilled himself before all at once, thrusting hard inside him, gripping at either side of the brunet's legs as he paused, knowing well that even through the pleasure, a surge of sharp pain was about to overcome the boy. It almost hurt himself, having to stay still, so desperately wanting to take him with all his strength, wanting to feel him from the inside out... but he steeled his will, and waited.
Neku returned the kiss with as much vigor. He fought off the stinging sensation in his eyes at the intrusion. He blinked away the pain into the kiss, knowing that his now lover wouldn't be all that patient. He continued the kiss at any rate, allowing his body to adjust as he kept his mind off it. After a few moments, the pain dulled to something tolerable and he curiously moved his hips in the general direction of Joshua's, a low moan escaping him as one of his hands gripped at the sheets beneath him, the other on the silveret's hip.
That was all it took to snap Joshua out of his frozen state - almost immediately he pushed farther in, meeting Neku's hips with his own as he buried himself completely inside his partner. "G-god...Neku..." The Composer breathed out in broken words, voice shaking as he moved one hand hesitantly away from the leg he held up, over to the sheets beside Neku's torso, trying to balance himself. Slowly he began to pull out, his head tilting back in a guttural moan the moment he thrust harshly back in, grinding slowly before repeating the process.
The pain randomly sparked and then went away with the thrusts, but soon the pleasure engulfed him entirely, causing the brunet to whimper helplessly and wrap his arms tightly around Joshua's moving body. He arched his hips slightly, only before his mind went blank and a large sensation sparked through his body, making every single cell light up with pleasure. He shuddered in response. "There," he rasped as he desperately moved his hips to get Joshua to hit that spot again. "Oh god, Josh...please," he nearly begged as he dug his nails into the Composer's back absently.
The moment Neku whimpered 'please', Joshua's egocentric self half wanted to make him beg more... but he could hardly stand to make himself slow, much less stop altogether; so instead he decided to put that little memory away for later use. With another unbidden moan, he pulled out, and slammed back in, hoping to hit that same sweet spot he had before, just about to go over the edge - and he'll be damned if he did before he gave Neku the chance. He was so tight... so hot and welcoming... he had to bite his lip to stop himself from coming already a few times now.
"My name..." He whispered, or at least tried to with his panting making it more and more difficult, his lips barely touching Neku's ear. "I want to hear you scream my name..."
Neku would have screamed Joshua's true name but his mind was far too foggy to even remember it considering Josh had only told him when they first met. So, Neku decided to just keep
repeating Joshua's name hotly under his breath, nails digging at the skin as he tried his hardest to build up that heat in his body and pleasure and oh god, Joshua was just teasing the fuck out of him.
But when Joshua did hit that sweet spot again on his thrust in, and after that demand from his partner, he was way ahead of him. By the time the word 'name' had been spoken he let out a moan and then a hollered version of the boy's name, hips thrusting madly into Joshua's. He was so close...so damn close and he didn't care how much he was begging and pleading right now.
Joshua couldn't help it - once he heard Neku cry his name, something in his mind snapped, and he thrust deeper inside the boy than he ever had before, light flashing around his form momentarily as he didn't even have the mental capacity to maintain his RG form for a split moment, and released himself, coming deep inside Neku's body.
Neku released a few moments later, nails drilling themselves into Joshua's back as he threw his body into the other's last thrust, panting wildly as he rode out his orgasm, his body soon after numbing as he slumped back against the bed, cheeks enflamed and mouth parted weakly. He sucked in shaky breaths and struggled to keep his eyes open.
After a few moments of continuously slowing, shallow thrusts, Joshua finally came to a halt, panting harshly as he kept himself barely propped above the younger teen. He smiled, gently allowing his forehead to rest upon Neku's, feeling the heat of their bodies mix in a somehow comforting effect. God... that had to have been the most amazing thing he'd ever felt. He vaguely wondered to himself, if he thought Neku would be able to do this every night, if not a few times in a row...
Meanwhile, downstairs, Sanae couldn't help but awake with a start the second Neku screamed Joshua's name, nearly falling off the couch as he momentarily thought that something was wrong. It only took him a few seconds though, to reposition himself and attempt to go back to sleep, only one thing on his mind.
God-fucking-damnit. Not on my bed. I'm going to kill both of them.
"Well...that was..." Neku attempted to speak but failed horribly. He lifted his fingers off Joshua's back and idly inspected them. Damn...he had scratched the surface badly, huh? He sighed and mentally praised himself for marking his lover. He wasn't sadistic, no not at all. After a moment, though, he decided to speak again, enjoying how close Joshua's face was to his own. "So damn good..." he decided and shut his eyes briefly.
"Biggest understatement of my life." Joshua replied with a weak laugh, finally allowing himself to roll of Neku and relax against the cool sheets, breathing out contently. After a moment, he leaned over to rest his head against his love's shoulder, completely spent but more than ready to stay awake just a while longer if only to feel the boy's presence beside him. "Not bad for a first time."
"Don't deny it, you loved it," Neku chuckled quietly, entirely spent and exhausted. He shifted some and rested his chin comfortably against Joshua's head, enjoying their close proximity after sex. He inhaled the other's scent, the aroma still being strong over the stench of sweat and sex that he
surprisingly didn't mind much and-- "Thought you hated to sweat, though." Small, tired smirk.
"I don't mind a few exceptions." The silver-haired boy smirked, closing his eyes. "Anything to get you begging and screaming my name, sweetheart."
Neku felt his cheeks blush faintly at that. "Again with the nicknames?" he whispered and brought his lips absentmindedly down to kiss the top of Joshua's head.
"Mm, I'm sure I've still got more." The Composer giggled, somehow not minding that he was in a submissive position for once in his life. "Wouldn't mind you giving me a few... how about 'Master'?" Well, perhaps his over-inflated ego wasn't that easy to get rid of. "Sounds kinky. I like it."
"Not calling you 'Master'," Neku refuted with an amused snort of laughter. "I may bottom for you, dear, but I'm not calling you Master," he pointed out, mocking Joshua's voice at the 'dear' part.
"Mm, alright, I suppose I can deal with that if you make up for it in the begging department." He grinned and leaned up, returning the teen's earlier kiss with one of his own - in a way, silently saying, 'I tease because I love'. Which was something he would never admit in words. "Another one of your 'please, Joshua' ought to get me going."
Neku rolled his eyes. "Well, you were pretty loud yourself, Joshua," he teased and kept his arms tightly around Josh, sighing in utter content at the perfection of the moment. His head fell slightly, resting his forehead to Joshua's head before murmuring, "Doesn't matter, though." His voice decreased in volume. "I love you, Josh."
The Composer's arm slid over his side, returning the affectionate gesture as he closed his eyes. "And I you, Neku." He finally allowed himself to completely relax, the steady rhythmic beat of his partner's breathing lulling him to sleep. "More than you can imagine..."
--oo0oo--