Disclaimer: I only own the OC's, no one else.
A/N: Well, I had typed up these next few chapters on my laptop since I was on vacation. Unfortunately, my laptop's hard drive fried and I lost them. I'm in the process of retyping them, so the updates will be a bit farther apart. As always, see the first chapter for major author's notes.
The last time Jeff did a Swanton onto Randy Orton was nowhere near as painful as it was this time. He screamed and rolled off of Orton before his mind could comprehend the fact that moving was probably not a good idea at that moment. He stifled another scream and lay in the ring, trying not to move a muscle. The crowd, which had been louder than ever as he prepared to do his Swanton, was now slowly starting to quiet down as everyone waited to see what was wrong with Jeff. The only people who were still talking were JR, King, and Matt.
Matt had climbed into the ring as soon as Jeff landed on Orton and knelt next to his brother. He looked lost as to what to do, unsure whether or not it was safe to move Jeff or even to touch his back without causing him pain, but more than that he looked completely furious- not that Jeff could really blame him. Right behind Matt were the medics, none of which looked too pleased at having to deal with Jeff and his back for the second week in a row. "You didn't learn last time, did you?" The medic muttered angrily. "This week you even knew you were injured and you still went and did this! Come on, let's get him onto the stretcher!" Within no time Jeff was loaded onto the stretcher and brought backstage.
Jeff knew that the medic was not going to be the last person to yell at him that night. As soon as he was backstage and away from the cameras it seemed like everybody on the roster had come to give him a piece of their mind.
"What the hell were you thinking?"
"That could have been the end of your career out there, Hardy!"
"Did you even stop to think about what you were doing?"
"What made you think that would even be a good idea in the first place?"
He began to tune out his coworkers' comments, not out of rudeness or boredom but simply because it hurt to hear what they were saying. He knew what they were saying was true- he didn't stop to really think about what he was doing and he knew that he may have just ended his career. Right now he wanted nothing more than to just go home and try to forget what he did that night, but there were still a couple of people that needed to throw their two cents in before he could even leave the arena.
"What the hell where you thinking out there?" There was no mistaking that voice; it seemed like Vince McMahon, had finally showed up to chew him out. "Do you even realize that that may very well have been the last time you step foot in a ring? You put your career on the line and I hope you're ready to live with that decision! I can't risk having you by the ring again, so you are banned from all WWE shows, both as a wrestler and a spectator, until that back of yours is completely healed- if it ever heals!"
Mr. McMahon stormed off after he was done with his speech, leaving Jeff to mull over what he said. He didn't care too much about being banned from WWE events, since he knew that he could've ended up with a punishment that was a lot worse than that. Still, his words hurt more than the rest of the wrestlers' did; Vince had made it seem like he thought that Jeff would never be able to wrestler after the stunt he had just pulled.
"Don't let him get to you." Jeff had to grin when he heard the voice; of course Shawn would have to talk to Jeff about what he did. "But, you know, he is right. You risked your career by pulling that stupid stunt when you knew you were injured."
"I know Shawn, it's just… I don't know. I wasn't really thinking out there tonight."
"And that's where the problem lies," Shawn said. "You've seen so many people come back from injuries, hell, even wrestle with injuries, that it doesn't seem like such a big deal anymore. Then everyone's telling you to calm down and you can't do this or that and you just snap and do something stupid." Jeff just nodded as Shawn continued. "But take it from someone who's broken their back before- this isn't the type of thing you can just rebound from after a surgery. It's gonna take time and it's gonna hurt, but you're better off than I was. If you stop doing more damage to your back, I don't see any reason why you can't come back to wrestle. Just take it easy, alright kid? Trust me, when you're at the height of your career it's not fun to have it stopped."
"Don't worry, after tonight I don't think I'm going to be doing much of anything for awhile," Jeff told him with a small grimace.
Shawn laughed. "But last week you told me that you wouldn't do anything stupid and well, look at how well that turned out."
"Hey, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but the ambulance is here and they want to take Jeff to the hospital ASAP to see how much damage was done tonight," Matt said as he walked over to the two of them.
"No, you aren't interrupting anything," Shawn said. "I was just giving your brother a bit of advice."
"You mean telling him not to do anything stupid again?" Matt was grinning slightly as he spoke. It was still obvious that he was as angry as he had been in the ring, but there was something else there as well, though Jeff couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. Still, he'd find out soon enough, since Matt could never quite hide his emotions from his brother when they fought and considering what he had done that night, Jeff knew that an argument was unavoidable.
Shawn nodded. "Well, I'll let them take you out of here then," he said. "And remember what I said, kid. You have too many years left in this business."
"I won't forget it," Jeff told him. "And believe me, I'm not lying this time when I tell you that I won't be pulling stunts like that anytime in the near future."
Jeff had half-hoped that his brother would just start yelling at him on the way to the hospital. He didn't care if the paramedics heard whatever he had to say, he just wanted to get everything over with so he could just deal with Dr. Carleson and go home. Matt seemed to have an entirely different plan and he remained completely silent for the entire trip. The silence didn't last long after that, though, since once they reached the hospital Dr. Carleson had a few things to say to his patient.
"Do you even realize what you did to your back out there?" Dr. Carleson's voice was a hair away from being a full-out yell. "Your vertebra slipped even further and judging by the amount of pain you were in when you first got here there's more nerve compression than before as well! We're going to need to completely rework your therapy and if you can get through this without surgery it's going to be a miracle. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if you screwed up your back so bad you never wrestled again!"
There it was again, the slap in the face that, though he had heard it a million times that night, he would never be comfortable with. Everyone phrased it differently but the general message was exactly the same. You will never wrestle again. Dr. Carleson, Vince McMahon, hell, even most of the Raw roster had expressed their doubts at his return to wrestling; it wouldn't even surprise him if Matt said something similar when he finally snapped at him. The only person who had any faith in him was Shawn Michaels, but when everyone else doubted him, that one vote of confidence didn't really seem to make a difference.
It took Jeff a moment to realize that Dr. Carleson was still talking and he quickly tried to pay attention again. "… I'm sorely tempted to put you in a rehab center so I know you won't do anything to mess up your back even more. However, I have a feeling that you won't do anything stupid anyway, so I'm letting you go home as long as you promise me to keep that brace on at all times. And Matt,-" he turned to face the older Hardy brother, his voice becoming slightly icier as he addressed him. "-this time, can you please try a bit harder to watch out for your brother?"
Jeff was expecting his brother to claim that it wasn't his fault that Jeff had done what he did, or insist that he had done everything he could to stop him earlier that night. To his surprise the only thing he heard was "Yeah. I'll try." Jeff stared at his brother, wondering what had gotten into him. He had already passed up a number of chances to chew him out, he was unusually calm and subdued- this wasn't the Matt Hardy he knew. Even when they were out of the hospital and waiting for someone to bring their car over from the arena he was silent. The ride back home was tense, awkward, and silent. Finally it reached the point where Jeff just couldn't take it anymore.
"Damnit Matt, say something already!" Jeff yelled. "I am sick of you just sitting there and not saying or doing anything! I know you're pissed at me, so why don't you just tell me how much I screwed up tonight so we can move on?"
"Fine, you want me to yell at you, tell you how I felt tonight out in the ring?" After a nod from Jeff he continued. "Do you know what I went through out there tonight? I had supposedly just taken a horrible fall over the top rope, so I'm lying on the outside of the ring, on the opposite side as you. As I'm lying there I hear the crowd yelling and JR and King are screaming and I can make out your name but I don't know what's going on. I finally get to my feet and the first thing I see is your back brace lying in the center of the ring and it hits me- you're going to do a Swanton, like you always do. By the time I get around to where you are you're already standing on the top turnbuckle, playing up to the crowd, and I don't know if I can get you down without hurting you.
"Then as you're standing up there you look down at me and I know that somehow, in some twisted way, you're doing this for me or because of me, whether to prove something or out of revenge I have no idea. Then you jump off and I swear my heart stopped as I watched you fall and land on your back. You're screaming and in pain, but I still can't do anything for you and it's driving me completely crazy. At first I was furious at you for doing something so stupid, but then everyone's telling you that you risked your career and you could never wrestle again and I realize that it's my fault. I was supposed to protect you out there tonight and I couldn't and now your career may be over because I screwed up, or because you felt you had to do it for me- it doesn't matter because it still comes down to the fact that it's my fault."
Jeff was stunned. It explained everything- the strange emotion in his eyes earlier, his subdued manner with Dr. Carleson- but he didn't know how Matt could blame himself and he was quick to tell him that. "Matt, it's not your fault. There's no way in hell it could be your fault! I was the one who was stupid enough to do a Swanton with an injured back. Besides, I'm old enough to make my own choices; you don't have to be looking out for me all the time…"
Matt just shook his head as Jeff continued his angry speech. He doubted his brother would ever understand that it actually was his fault. Mr. McMahon had only okayed the confrontation because he had thought that Matt would make sure Jeff wouldn't do anything stupid. Then he nearly had to talk his brother into going along with it in the first place- not to mention the only reason they got Dr. Carleson to stop bothering them about it was because Matt had promised to look out for Jeff. He could do his best to try to convince Matt otherwise, but it still came down to the fact that what had happened was his fault and nothing would ever change that.
It was late by the time that they got home and they both opted to just go to bed right away. Jeff had looked completely exhausted as he staggered up towards the house, so Matt assumed that he had fallen asleep right away. Matt wished he could fall asleep as easily as his brother, but he just couldn't. He tossed and turned for awhile before finally deciding that it just wasn't worth it. He got up and turned on his laptop. When everything was done loading he signed into his Myspace account, knowing that the perfect way to kill time was to write a new blog; besides, his fans would want to know what was going on with him and Jeff, especially after that night's episode of Raw.
Hey guys and gals. I don't know how many of you caught Raw tonight, but there are a few things I would like to clear up. First off, it is true that I am going to be taking time off to take care of Jeff, since he did injure his back last week on Raw. Right now we're both fine physically. Jeff's Swanton damaged his back more than it was before, but the doctor thinks that it should heal fine. Matt figured that telling a small white lie like that wouldn't be a problem.
Emotionally we're more than slightly worn out. Jeff's had Mr. McMahon, his doctor, and several of our coworkers yell at him about the Swanton. And let me tell you, watching your brother do a possibly career-ending move and not being able to stop him isn't exactly a walk in the park, not to mention the fact that Jeff and I weren't on the same page on the ride back from the hospital. However, everything is worked out and there's no reason why both Jeff and myself shouldn't be back in the ring in a couple of months. Again, another small lie; there were plenty of reasons why they would be gone for longer than that, in fact it was highly likely that they would be gone for longer than that, but he didn't see any harm in ignoring that point.
I'll try to update this often to let you guys know what's going on and to give you a more definitive timeline for our return to the WWE. Now, however, it's definitely time for me to crash. Adios, and thanks for all the support.
Despite the fact that his blog was relatively short, enough time had passed to make Matt genuinely tired and he honestly did want to go to sleep now. However, for the first time he wasn't happy with the blog he had just posted. He had lied to his fans on a number of occasions, but he was usually fairly honest with them; it didn't sit well with him that he had to leave out several large parts of what had really happened that night. Still, he had told them everything he could, but part of him disagreed, making him question his reasons for excluding the part where the events of that night were his fault.
Did he leave that part out because it was too personal to share, or because he didn't want his fans to chew him out?
He sighed, and shut down his laptop. It wouldn't do any good to second guess himself now. What was done was done. Now, he just had to live with his mistake and hope that he didn't screw up again; he didn't know if he could deal with ruining his brother's life anymore.