Disclaimer: Me no own anyone except the few OC's.
A/N: So… only one chapter left after this, then the sequel. I'm leaving for vacation on Monday so I'll post the last chapter when I get back that Sunday. I'll also post the first chapter of the sequel that day and then I'm leaving for another week. Updates will start up again after that. I offer you a slightly longer chapter to hold you over until my update a week from now.
The room was absolutely silent after Dr. Carleson's announcement. Surgery? The idea seemed ridiculous to the Hardys; they had both been assured that Jeff's back problem could be taken care of with conservative treatment. Neither of them had ever really expected Jeff to have to go under the knife and it took them awhile to get used to the idea. Finally the initial shock had worn off enough for Jeff to ask the one question that was at the forefront of the others. "What will happen if I have this surgery?"
"Well the procedure itself isn't too complicated," Dr. Carleson began. "It would most likely end up being a spinal fusion."
"I know what a fusion surgery is," Jeff interrupted. "I've known a few people who've had neck fusions. I'm assuming they're the same?"
"Yes, the two surgeries are extremely similar. A bone graft is placed around the slipped vertebra so that when it heals the bones will fuse together and stabilize the vertebra. In addition, screws will be placed in your back to provide additional stability. After the surgery you would have to stay in the hospital for a few days until you can walk on your own. Then you will be allowed to return home as long as someone is there with you, though I'm assuming that Matt will be there for all of this?"
"Yes sir," Matt confirmed. He had no intention of abandoning his brother during his surgery and recovery besides the fact that he still had three weeks left before he would need to arrange to take more time off, which he quickly reminded Jeff and Dr. Carleson of.
"That's good. You shouldn't have to take anymore time off though, since Jeff should be fine on his own by that time and you would be able to return to wrestling."
"Doesn't matter, I'm still going to ask Vince for more time off." The sentence is casually said, as if this was already a well-known fact and Matt was just repeating it but the reaction it got suggested otherwise.
"Matt, what the hell are you talking about?" Jeff asked. "You can't take even more time off!" He had suspected for awhile that Matt was going to ask for more time off if his back was still hurting him after the two months were up but he had hoped that his brother wouldn't put his career on hold just because of him any longer than absolutely necessary.
"It's not like it's going to be a problem or anything. Shawn and Orton have their feud going right now because of us and if I return now it would make it seem like I was abandoning you which would screw up the storylines." His voice was still obnoxiously calm and casual, despite Jeff being less than thrilled with him at the moment.
"I mean, if I went back right now they'd have to turn me heel because I would technically be abandoning you, which would mean feuding with Shawn. You know, on second thought that would actually be a rather awesome storyline." He paused for a moment, as if letting that scenario play out in his head. He finally shook his head and said, "On second thought that wouldn't really be awesome because then when you finally returned they'd have me attacking you in the back or something and you know how much I hate those storylines."
"But if they didn't write it where you were attacking me out of the ring that would be an awesome feud and you have to admit that it is awesome to fight each other once in awhile," Jeff pointed out. "A full-blown feud, especially set up like this, would be great to do. Stick me with Shawn and you can team up with Orton- can you picture the fans' reaction to it?"
Matt laughed. "Oh man, they'd go crazy over it."
Jeff glanced over at Dr. Carleson, who had been quiet during the brothers' entire conversation. "So Doctor, how long will it be after the surgery before I can make my return and kick my brother's ass?"
"Well, the recovery period varies for everyone but most people can go back to doing most of their old activities in anywhere from six to nine mon-"
Jeff interrupted him. "Damn, Matt, looks like we won't be able to pull off the feud unless you return towards the end of Shawn and Orton's thing and feud with Shawn for long enough for me to return."
Matt didn't seem to be paying attention to his brother though. He was frowning and looked like he was deep in thought. Finally, he asked, "Dr. Carleson, you said that most people can return to most of their old activities within that time period. I'm assuming that the "most people" was simply referring to the fact that it could take less time or more time for any one person to heal, but what sort of activities would the typical person not be able to pursue after the surgery?"
"Well it varies from person to person so I couldn't give you an exact list of things that someone wouldn't be able to do," Dr. Carleson said. His voice was still calm, but there was a hint of uneasiness behind it.
"If you had to guess right now, what sort of things would you say Jeff would have to avoid on a day-to-day basis following the surgery?" Jeff was, by the point, paying close attention to the conversation, completely serious again as he waited to hear what Dr. Carleson would say.
"Well, it's hard to tell before the surgery…" There was no mistaking the fact that Dr. Carleson was extremely uncomfortable with the current topic of conversation.
"But you have to have some idea of what I wouldn't be able to do," Jeff interrupted. "I mean, you know basically everything about the type of life I live- hell, you've seen me wrestle who knows how many times, you know what I do for a career. There has to be some things that you think I wouldn't be able to do if I responded normally to the surgery."
Dr. Carleson was trapped and he knew it. He sighed and said, "Well, someone who responds normal to the surgery would have to take simple precautions like avoiding lifting heavy things on a day-to-day basis or having something hard hit the spine..."
"So basically I would have to avoid doing anything to put too much stress on my back," Jeff confirmed.
"Yes, that's exactly what would have to happen."
"Including wrestling?" Dr. Carleson flinched slightly at the bluntness of the question and the brothers' fears were confirmed, even before he answered with a soft "Yes."
Jeff closed his eyes, breathing deeply and trying to control the many emotions that were running through him. So it didn't matter whether he had the surgery or not- he would never wrestle again. "Just leave," he said quietly, not even opening his eyes.
"Jeff-"
"Get out!" He yelled, his eyes snapping open. "Get out!" Whether out of respect for his wishes or simply because he was afraid of how upset both Matt and Jeff were Dr. Carleson turned and quickly left the room.
It was silent for all of about ten seconds. "Damnit!" Jeff yelled. Matt was silently thankful that Dr. Carleson had closed the door. "Argh!" He picked up the glass of water that was on the small table next to his bed and brought his arm back as if to throw it, but he was stopped by Matt grabbing his arm.
"Destroying everything within reach is not going to help." Matt had slipped into the calm-down-Jeff role that had become second nature for him in the past few weeks, pushing his own overwhelming guilt and sadness away for the moment. Right now he needed to reason with Jeff; he couldn't waste time regretting what he did, even if he knew it was the cause of all of this.
"But it would make me feel a hell of a lot better!" Jeff was still yelling and showing no signs of calming down.
"Yes but then someone would've come running in, seen the mess, and sent you off for a psychiatric evaluation." Matt's pitiful attempt at humor, despite them being well intended, did nothing to raise his brother's spirits.
"Matt did you even hear what he said? I am never going to wrestle again! I am never going to wrestle again! All these weeks I at least thought I was going to get better. I thought that there was at least a small chance that, despite all the problems, things would work out in the end but guess what, they didn't." Jeff sounded choked up and Matt was surprised that he hadn't started crying yet. Hell, if he had gotten the news that he wouldn't wrestle again he certainly would be.
"You even said it yourself, this business is my life," Jeff continued, despite the fact that it looked- and sounded- like he would break down any moment now. "I mean, our childhood dream was becoming wrestlers and we did that, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to give it all up! I don't want to give it up!" During his rant his voice had quieted down considerably, until it was just barely above a whisper. "What am I supposed to do now? How do I just move on from losing my entire career?"
Matt was looking down at his hands, not wanting to see the pain on Jeff's face, while he tried to think of something to say. What could he say? It would be alright, they'd survive this? Even in his mind the words sounded weak and pathetic and he knew that if he said them aloud his brother would just start screaming again. "Jeff-" he began, finally looking up, but he stopped at the sight of a few tears running down his face, his eyes screwed shut as he tried not to break down completely.
He reached forward as if to wipe them away them away but stopped when Jeff pulled back, his eyes opening. "Don't," he said softly. He took a deep breath. "Look, I think I need some time by myself, if you don't mind."
Matt nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him to give Jeff some more privacy. He slumped against the wall outside his room, completely emotionally drained. He couldn't stop thinking that he had ruined his brother's life, albeit unintentionally. Every brotherly instinct in him was screaming to do something to comfort him or find someway to fix the situation but for once he didn't know how. There wasn't anything he could say or do and it was driving him crazy.
"Matt? Why are you out in the hall?"
Matt looked up as soon as he heard the unmistakable voice of Dr. Carleson. "Jeff wanted some time to think things over after that announcement you left him with." His voice was bitter but he didn't care enough to try to pretend otherwise.
Dr. Carleson looked away. "I'm sorry I had to tell him that, I really am."
Matt let out a short bark of laughter, though it sounded almost insane to his own ears. "You're sorry? You're sorry? I doubt you would have even told him if we didn't practically force the information out of you! Now you're going to stand there while Jeff's life is crumbling in front of his eyes and dare to tell me that you're sorry?"
"Matt, believe me, if there was another way to do this I swear I would tell you," Dr. Carleson said, trying to make the elder Hardy brother listen to reason. "But I honestly believe that it's better if he didn't wrestle again, since if he did he would be running a huge risk of having more, even worse, back problems."
Matt's eyes narrowed slightly as he listened to Jeff's doctor. "Wait, how high of a risk?" He asked, his voice now perfectly controlled and giving none of his thoughts away.
"I couldn't really say for sure, but if the surgery goes smoothly he would only really have to worry about moves that put a lot of stress on his back, not the usual bumps you guys take when someone clotheslines you or something," he explained. "So basically Jeff's high risk maneuvers would all be out of the question as well as any holds or moves done by his opponent that would put pressure on his back."
"But what if his matches were set up so none of those moves were used?" Matt's calm façade was starting to dissolve and was being replaced with excitement. "Could he wrestle then?"
"He could wrestle in a regular match it would just be an incredibly stupid thing to do!" Dr. Carleson snapped. "So yes, he could wrestle in specially designed matches but I would highly, highly recommend against it. If anything were to happen in a match he could end up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life! Do you understand, Matt, your brother risks never walking again if he steps foot into a wrestling ring!"
"Oh, I understand," Matt said, his voice perfectly innocent. Inside, though, he was seething. I understand now that you would rather my brother spent the rest of his life wondering if he could've returned to the ring instead of actually finding out. I know that you know nothing about us or the business and that you never well. I know that we can't trust you to tell the truth anymore- if you've ever told the truth- and we'll have to do things for ourselves. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to talk things over with my brother." He opened the door and took a step towards it before turning around and adding, "No offense, but please don't come in right now."
Dr. Carleson nodded, turned, and walked down the hall. Matt watched him round the corner before stepping into Jeff's room, closing the door behind him. Jeff had been staring off into space but he turned to look at his brother when he entered the room. There was something different about him. The panic and anger from earlier was still there but it was subdued, replaced almost by sadness and resignation.
"I've been thinking about this and I know that there's nothing I can do about my wrestling career-" Jeff began but Matt quickly cut him off.
"Jeff, hold on a second, I just talked to Dr. Carleson and-"
"Wait, Matt, let me finish," Jeff interrupted. "I mean, I still don't like the idea of never being able to wrestle again- especially if Orton is going to be the one to get the credit for having "ended my career"- but I think I can live with it." He laughed shakily. "Not like there's anything I could do about it anyway, though, and believe me it's going to take some getting used to-"
Matt couldn't take this anymore. "Will you stop talking about never wrestling again and just listen to me!" He was tired of listening to his brother's depressing end-of-career acceptance speech and just wanted to tell him what he found out from Dr. Carleson. "Jeff, you may be able to wrestle again!"
Jeff frowned. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked. "You heard what Dr. Carleson said!"
"I talked to him out in the hall and he said that he strongly advises against you wrestling, but physically you would be able to!" Matt explained excitedly. "He doesn't want you to because you would risk ending up in a wheelchair if too much stress was put on your back but if you stop doing Swantons from 30 feet in the air and set up your matches so your opponent doesn't use certain submission moves you would be fine!"
Jeff stared at his brother, not saying anything at first. He had managed to convince himself that it would be fine if he couldn't wrestle. He knew that he would never be able to fully get over it, but he would be able to move on with his life for the most part. Then Matt comes bursting to tell him that he could wrestle and he didn't know what to think anymore. Part of him wanted to believe Matt. He wanted nothing more in the world right now to know that Matt was telling the truth and he actually could wrestle again but his brother had been feeding him similar stories for so long he was hesitant to believe him. It wasn't that he thought that Matt would intentionally lie to him, but his entire "recovery" had been him getting his hopes up only to have them crushed and he didn't know if he could stand having them crushed one more time.
The door a crack and Dr. Carleson stuck his head in. "Can I come in now?" He asked. Matt scowled, but nodded anyway, and he walked in. "So Jeff, I'm assuming Matt told you that you could technically return to the ring if you wanted to risk being put in a wheelchair for the rest of your life?"
Jeff nodded. "Yeah, he just finished telling me that," he said, still slightly shocked. Matt had been telling the truth; his story was just confirmed by Dr. Carleson. He could actually wrestle again! A huge grin broke out on his face at the thought. "So, when am I going to have the surgery?" He asked.
As Jeff and Dr. Carleson began discussing the specifics of his surgery Matt stepped outside to call WWE headquarters to let them know what was going on. He was quickly put in touch with Shane and explained that Jeff was going to need surgery and that there would have to be slight changes made to his wrestling matches, but that he should return in 6-9 months and requested that he be allowed time off while his brother was recovering.
"I'm going to need to discuss this with my father before I tell you anything for sure," Shane said when Matt had finished talking. "I don't think there would be any problem in eliminating certain submission moves from Jeff's matches, especially if we told the whole roster the situation so they would know not to use them. The time off is another problem, since I don't know if he was planning to use you in any upcoming storylines. I'll call you back when I know more though."
"Thanks, Shane," Matt said. After he had hung up, he closed his phone and tucked it away with a sigh. He knew that he didn't really need to be there for Jeff during his recovery, but he felt like he owed it to his brother to be there anyway. He made his way back up to Jeff's room only to find that Dr. Carleson was still discussing the specifics of the surgery with him.
"What were you doing?" Jeff asked as Matt collapsed in the chair next to the bed.
"Telling Shane about your surgery, the changes that will have to be made to your matches, and asking for more time off," Matt told him.
"What did he say about it all?"
"I don't know, he said he would call me back after he talked to Vince." At that moment his phone rang. "I thought that only happened in movies!" He joked as he fished it out of his pocket to answer it. "Hello… yes… yes sir, but most other moves would be fine… Okay… Oh, thank you, sir! Wait, what? Yes, I've heard a few of the others talk about it… Sometime later this week, I believe, hold on a second." He covered the mouthpiece of his phone and asked, "Jeff, when are you having the surgery?"
"Saturday."
"And do either of you care if they do one of those Emergency Room specials on it?"
"…Not really, no."
"As long as they don't disturb the procedure then no, I don't care if they want to film."
"Saturday and no, that wouldn't be a problem at all… Alright sir… Goodbye." Matt hung up and rolled his eyes. "They're going to send a camera crew here on Friday. They want to talk to all three of us prior to Jeff's surgery on Saturday and then they want to return during his therapy to get some shots of that." He sighed. "No, they couldn't just let us get through this in peace…"
Jeff laughed. "C'mon Matt, you have to admit that at least it's going to be an interesting weekend."
Jeff's statement turned out to be all too true. The camera crew did arrive around mid-morning that Friday. Matt had been waiting for them in the lobby and quickly showed them up to Jeff's room where most of the pre-surgery filming would take place, though he was quickly brushed aside as they set up the camera and microphones. Jeff smiled apologetically at his brother, who merely grinned and shook his head; it wasn't really any problem.
"So, how exactly is this going to work?" Jeff asked once most of the equipment was set up.
Jason, the cameraman, looked up from his work and answered his question. "Well, basically you're just going to explain what happened and what's going to happen tomorrow. You know, give you thoughts about what's been going on in your life and stuff like that."
"Seems simple enough," Jeff commented. "When do we start?"
"Right about now, actually," Jason said. "Filming in three… two… one..." He pointed at Jeff to signal for him to start.
"Well, this isn't exactly how I'm used to appear on camera," Jeff began. In the back of the room Matt suppressed a snort. Jeff's hair was, for once, mostly his natural color, he was wearing a hospital gown, and, of course, he was confined to a bed- to say that he wasn't used to appearing on camera like that was a huge understatement.
"So, you'll have to forgive me for how I look, but I'm currently in the process of getting ready for surgery. About five weeks ago my back was injured in a match against Orton, resulting in a slipped vertebra with a bit of nerve compression. The following week I did a Swanton on top of him, despite my injury, but only really succeeded in hurting my back farther. I wasn't really thinking at the time, but if I could go back and change that night I wouldn't do the Swanton, not if I knew what would happen because of it.
"Because of that Swanton the vertebra slipped even farther, which led to more nerve compression. After that I still continued with my physical therapy but it wasn't really doing much good, you know? I mean, I was constantly in pain and it got harder to stand up or walk. Then on Monday I collapsed- my legs just couldn't support me anymore. We called an ambulance the next day, since I still couldn't stand when I woke up that morning, and I got admitted to the hospital where my doctor basically told me that I would never wrestle again.
"At first I was angry and pissed off. I mean, I've always wanted to be a wrestler; I didn't know what I would do if I couldn't wrestle. So I didn't want to believe it at first, but finally I sorta came to accept it. What else was I going to do? I couldn't change it, so even if I didn't like it there wasn't anything I could do. So Matt comes bursting into my room just as I've reached that conclusion and I start going on about how I thought I could live it with."
Jeff laughed quietly. "It's one of those things you can look back on and laugh, but at the time it wasn't quite so funny. Anyway, Matt interrupts me and tells me that we both… misunderstood… my doctor." Jeff thought that it wouldn't exactly be a good idea to ruin Dr. Carleson's image in a video that anyone in the world would be able to see. "Basically, I would be able to wrestle after all but my doctor highly recommends that I don't, since I could end up in a wheelchair for the rest of my life if something goes wrong, but I think that's a risk I'm willing to take. I mean, like I said, wrestling is my life and even if I'm risking suffering an injury I couldn't return from later on down the road I'm still going to return and once again go out there and give it my all.
"So here I am, going to have surgery tomorrow. It's basically a fusion surgery. They're going to drill a hole in my vertebra, stick some of my bone in there, and add some screws or something for extra support. Dr. Carleson, my doctor, could probably explain things better than I can, but that's basically the gist of everything." Jeff paused for a moment. "Anything else I need to add?"
Jason shook his head. "Nope, I think you covered everything," he said, obviously satisfied with the footage they had gotten. "Matt, do you want to go now and get it over with?"
Matt shrugged. "Sure, why not?" It took a few minutes for the camera to get repositioned, but after that was done Matt got the countdown and the okay to start talking.
"This whole thing has basically just been one huge rollercoaster ride, for both of us," he began. "Jeff's gone from pretty much okay to not being able to do much of anything. It's just been a really stressful time. I can't imagine what it was like for him, but for me at least it was just really rough. I mean, I could tell he was suffering but I couldn't do anything to help him and that drove me crazy. I've always been a bit overprotective of Jeff so at first there was the typical "What did I do wrong?" sort of mentality to my reaction to the situation, but even after that wore away it was really hard seeing him fall apart and only being able to give him a few words on encouragement.
"However, I have complete confidence in his ability to make a good, solid recovery from this. I don't know if he'll come back 100 but he'll put 120 into all of his matches, which is what matters anyway. It's going to be a long, hard road back but I'm going to stay with him the entire time and 6-9 months from now we'll be back in the ring again."
"Good, very good, both of you!" Jason said when Matt was done talking. "After we talk to Dr. Carleson and get some footage from the surgery and the therapy we'll have enough to put together the video for the sight."
"Awesome," Jeff said, leaning forward to shake Jason's hand. "I look forward to seeing what you do and I'll see you tomorrow then."
Although he put on a good act in front of the crew, Jeff wasn't exactly completely calm and ready for his surgery. He knew that the doctors would do a fine job but he couldn't help but worry about various "What if…?" situations the entire night. Matt was exactly the same and the two of them spent quite a few hours that night discussing random topics in an attempt to keep the thought of surgery from their minds. They finally dozed off a couple of hours before dawn and slept until the nurses came by to get Jeff for his surgery.
Matt followed them out of the room, blinking tiredly and rubbing his eyes. It was, in his opinion, too early to wake up but he wasn't going to sleep through his brother's surgery. He sat through Jeff's discussion with his anesthesiologist and watched as his brother was knocked out and wheeled into the surgery room. Only after he vanished from sight did Matt wake up, a burst of panic coursing through him. All the thoughts that he had tried to suppress the night before had come back tenfold and he anxiously paced the room, hoping and praying that everything would go smoothly.