Dominic Santini watched with his heart in his mouth as the Mountain Search and Rescue team closed the zipper on the heavy duty plastic black bag that contained the body of his oldest and dearest friend, Steven Hawke, and wondered how on earth he was going to go one.
The Search and Rescue team had been out since first light, it having been too late for them to do anything the previous afternoon, by the time the call had come through that there had been an accident.
Everyone had known that it wasn't really going to turn out to be a rescue anyway, after hearing from both of the boys what had happened.
They had dragged the lake, and then finally just before lunch, someone had found Connie's body snagged on a clump of rocks down stream, and shortly after that, Steven's too.
One consolation, Dominic thought sadly, at least they had been together at the end.
He was so proud of the boys, those precious boys, still so shocked and numb.
He knew that if St John hadn't reacted so quickly, they could have lost String too, and then the young man really stepped up to the plate and had acted maturely and had taken excellent care of his younger brother until Santini had arrived.
However, both boys had been overjoyed to see the older man landing his helicopter on the jetty just before sunset the previous evening.
They had all spent a little time huddled up together in front of the roaring fire, silent and thoughtful, the boys weeping silently, clinging onto each other, and to him, the ghosts of Connie and Steven Hawke all around them, neither caring if it was the manly thing to do or not, and Santini had been glad that they were dealing with their grief. Better than bottling it up, which he was having to do, because he knew that the power of his grief at the loss of his dearest friends would be too shocking and frightening for the boys to have to witness.
He would do his grieving when he was alone.
He had not wanted to rush them, but eventually Dominic had coaxed both boys into getting clothes for the night, knowing that Stringfellow was deeply shocked and maybe even had a mild concussion and needed to be checked over by a doctor, and so he had finally persuaded them to allow him to take them back to the city, to a hospital, where the doctors had immediately decided to keep both boys in over night, under observation, and Santini had stayed until dawn, watching over both of them, holding their hands and reassuring them that he had not deserted them, and then, reluctantly, he had made them understand that someone had to go back, had to be there when their parents were found, to identify them ….
Reassuring them that he would be back for them later ….
Torn by the fear and grief and desolation he could see in String's eyes, but relieved to find reassurance and understanding in St John's. It had to be done and the young man was grateful that their father's oldest friend was prepared to spare them that horror and heartache
Santini had been touched by the tender and sensitive and protective way that St John was dealing with String. He suddenly seemed so mature.
Helluva way to have to grow up ….
Thank God they had each other to lean on, to support each other.
And now they had him too.
It wasn't over yet.
There were still dark days ahead of all of them, decisions about the future that would have to be made, no matter how painful, but there was one thing Dominic Santini was sure of, the boys would have a home with him.
He had promised Steven Hawke a long time ago that if anything ever happened to him, he would take on responsibility for his wife and children, as if they were his own, and he intended to keep that promise.
Suddenly, watching the Search and Rescue team carefully placing Steven Hawke's body into the waiting hearse, Dominic Santini didn't know if he was up to the task.
These were two very special, wonderful young men, and Connie and Steven had done such a marvellous job of raising them and guiding them through life.
Personally he had little experience of parenting, and he doubted that either of them would ever actually consider accepting him in the role of father, and he could never dream of filling that man's shoes in his sons' eyes, but there was one thing that he knew that he could do for these glorious young men.
He could continue to be their friend, loving them and supporting them and being there to catch them if they should fall, and somehow, with time, all three of them would come through this.
For now, both young men just needed to know that they were not alone, that they had someone who loved them, and with whom they could share their grief, someone who could help them to face tomorrow ….
Because there was nothing else that they could do, and life had to go on.
So on we go ….