PART III
ON THE EDGE OF THE FORBIDDEN FOREST...
Harry: So, the Forbidden Forest. Does anybody get the weird feeling that we're going to have to go through all the most dangerous parts of Hogwarts to find Snape?
Ron: Um...huh?
Dobby: Dobby doesn't understand, Harry Potter sir.
Harry: Hm. Just a feeling.
Ron: Why don't we ever go on adventures during the daytime?
Harry: Because it loses its dramatic, spooky feel.
Ron:...And we want a dramatic, spooky feel why?
Harry: Let's just go.
Ron: Hey look! A light!
Harry: Yeah, I see it!
Dobby: Maybe it's Snape!
Harry: Probably not, but let's follow it! Anything shiny has to be good!
(They get to the light.)
Ron: Ooh, it's a person.
Harry: A see-through person.
Dobby: Um, masters, it's a gh--
Ron: Shh. Hey, see-through person!
(See-through person turns around.)
Ron: Hi! I'm Ron Weasley and this is Harry Potter! Y'know, the famous Harry Potter! Who vanquished You-Know-Who!
Harry: Three times, in fact!
Ron: Why aren't you saying anything, See-Through Person?
Dobby: Because it's a gho--
Ron: Shush, Dobby! I'm trying to be polite! It's not nice to call people "it."
Dobby: And it's not nice to cause the death of innocent house elves either! Run away!
Harry: Oh be nice, Dobby. I'm sure he's just got a tragic health problem that causes him to glow in the dark. Nothing to be afraid
o--
Ghost: Now you die!
Harry: Scratch that. Run away!
(They run away like scared little schoolgirls)
Ron: Why can't we run like schoolBOYS once in a while?
Harry: I don't know, girls run faster.
Ron: Bullshi--
Dobby: Look over there!
(A giant swarm of giant spiders is coming towards them)
Ron: Not again!
Harry: Wingardium Leviosa!
(A spider lifts into the air)
Ron: Oh, nice job, Harry. You've only made it creepier.
Spider: Oi! That's not very nice!
Ron: Aaaaah! A floating, talking spider! This day just gets better and better!
Harry: Erm, Mr. Spider? Have you seen anyone named Snape lately?
Spider: Let me think...Yeah, actually. And my name's not Mr. Spider. It's Robert Octovengian the Third. I'm an inventor, I am.
Harry: And what do you invent?
Spider: Ever heard of the World Wide Web? Her her her...
Harry: Right. Where'd Snape go?
Spider: Last I saw 'im, he was flyin' away like some demented crow.
Ron: Any idea where he was headed for?
Spider: I'm gettin' there. Anyhow, he was flyin' an' then suddenly he caught on fire!
Harry: Must have been some potion gone wrong.
Ron: Or the Dungbomb I slipped in his robes this morning.
Harry: That would do it.
Spider: He was above the lake at th' time, so he started to fall and then a big ol' squid tentacle came out an' grabbed him an' pulled him in!
Harry: Okay...so the giant squid's got him?
Spider: No, silly! It's the giant octopus! Her her her...
Ron: Why has a bothering mission suddenly turned into a rescue mission?
Harry: I don't know, but we're going to need a lot of gillyweed.
Guess what…to be continued