Chapter Thirty-Nine: Longing
Grievous blocked an attack from a unworthy opponent at least from a Jedi but was finding it easy to attack him it was like he wanted to die, he was hardly putting up a fight and yet he was, he could tell he was only using half of his ability. This annoyed the General and he sliced him down easily and added another lightsaber to his collection. Nothing special just another lime green one.
He walked back to his personal fighter his job done on this pitiful moon. It was so pitiful it didn't even have a name. He climbed into his fighter and started up the engines and made his way back to the Invisible Hand. It had been two months since River's incident with Daniel and in that time her skills with a lightsaber had progressed to the point even he had a challenge in finding a break in her defense.
And also he had gone on multiple solo missions with her in control of his flagship, she had gone on a few with him adding a brilliant lightsaber to her collection of a powerful Jedi master. It was white at first glance but when you looked again the glow pulsed all the colors of a rainbow as she called it. He really didn't care what it appeared like he was just pleased that she had achieved it in an honest battle with a very worthy opponent.
When he landed his fighter and nimbly jumped out of it a series of droids rushed over to it to do the matinance. He looked around for any sign of his apprentice; as usual she wasn't any where in sight so he headed to report to Count Dooku. He would check in on River later, better to leave her in suspense.
He walked into a small room with a transmitter in the middle he pushed a few buttons and a message from the Count popped up.
I'm not in so leave a message after the tone: and a sound of a lightsaber rung through the room. Pathetic. He thought as he left his report on the mission. He was actually pleased he didn't have to talk to the Count because he always found something to lecture.
"Now where is she?" he purred to himself.
He hunched down into his predatory form and cantered around the ship listening for any sign of his apprentice. He heard her voice yelling at a droid saying how incompetent it was and an echo of the Nemodians pilots chimed in with her in agreement.
She was in the bridge overseeing the Nemodians at work on piloting the sleek flagship that she was temporarily in charge of. She had sent a droid to do something and it came back five minutes later and had completely forgotten what he was sent for. She was under allot of stress and the only time that happened was when she was in charge of the ship while her master was gone, due to she never slept or ate until he got back.
She walked over to one of the large viewing stations and stood there trying to get control of her rising temper. She heard the door slide open and suspected that the droid left because there was no need for it so she didn't bother turning around, the Nemodians didn't say anything either but she felt tension in the room and guessed it was because she had a temper at the present time.
"Calm down, calm down you don't want to blow up especially in front of the General," she said aloud to herself trying to calm down and thought that her ears were the only ones that heard her but she was wrong.
"That would be a wise decision apprentice," he purred into her ear so only she could hear him.
She bent her head down and then looked back outside.
"Thank you for the advice master." she said not being sarcastic.
She took in a breath of relief because he was finally back from his solo mission. She wondered why she rarely went on missions any more and guessed that being in charge of the flagship was a mission in its own way.
Her nerves also began to get back in order and her temper slowly decreased along with her stress floating away from her not to come back until she was left in charge again which she hoped would be a while.
"Come with me." he ordered not harshly but not nicely either.
She followed him to the observation deck and guessed why he was here. The observation deck was where they had lessons when they were aboard the ship. She pulled out her two double lightsabers but he told to use her one bladed saber that she got from the Jedi master she had defeated in a battle of the fittest.
She did as she was told and ignited it a white blade descending from the hilt and the colors from the rainbow pulsed through the glow. Her master pulled out two lightsabers one light blue and the other lime green. River was better with four than two or one so the techniques that Grievous was teaching her required the use of one and two individuals which she was somewhat experienced.
She took a deep breath before she lunged so she was concentrating all her strength and ability into the one blade that she was going to become one with, to dance with it in a whirl of deadly light. As she dodged, blocked and attacked she concentrated on breaking through her masters defenses to take him unaware.
She wasn't that good to accomplish that yet and she knew that she never would because he had advantages she did not but at least she could come close. As she was guided on what to do with the lightsaber at the appropriate times she concentrated on her master words and blades along with the fluid movement she sent through hers.
As she twisted and turned to defend herself from his attacks a memory came to her about when she used to do this but around a fire dancing to music and enjoying herself in the company of others (not that she wasn't enjoying some one on one time with her master/husband).
The memory was about the first night she had met Grievous when she was fourteen and he twenty-one. That night she was the guest of honor in his clan for rescuing a little boy from drowning in the river. She had watched all the warriors dance then she danced with the girls, and as she was dancing she remembered were she had heard the song. It had been a courtship dance.
Well the warriors of the clan had been wearing masks so she couldn't tell who was who. And when it was time for them to pair up the one she had been admiring actually paired up with her.
By the time the dance was over she had gotten to know how her partner moved and when the last beat rang through the air she had reached up and removed the mask to find the her partner was Grievous.
A smile spread across her face as she remembered her happier past and snapped back to her lesson. She looked up into his eyes and they had a perplexed look in them as to why she was smiling. She smiled to herself knowingly, which made him even more perplexed. She started using some of the foot work from the dance that enhanced her speed and soon she was nothing but a whirl of white light bashing against a blue and green light that was at the same extremity of speed as hers.
During this lesson Grievous was concentrating on the moves to instruct her with when a smile crept across her face. This confused him greatly because recently she had never smiled and it had been so long since a smile lit up her face that he wondered what had made her smile. Just another thing to ask her.
As she started to pick up speed he drooped instructing her and concentrated on her movements and blade. As he went through the movements he watched her as she bested her skills. If he had a spine watching her become one of the best wielders of a lightsaber would have sent chills of pleasure down it, but unfortunately he didn't so he had to settle with watching it happen before his very eyes without any thrill what so ever.
He made the sign with his eyes he always used to communicate for her to turn her lightsaber off and they deactivated their lightsabers at the same time, then there was a silence that the only thing you could here was River trying to control her breathing. She walked over to the admiral's chair and sat down to calm her heart so that it didn't literally burst.
A smile crept back to her face, which reminded him of his question.
"Why were you smiling during the lesson?" he inquired.
"Why would you like to know?" she said teasingly.
"Because it's been two months since you smiled and I wondered what made you do it today," he answered honestly which was rare for him.
River noted that he told her honestly, at least they were getting somewhere on the honesty issue.
"Because I remembered the night that I first met you and Juniper."
A look of confusion came into his eyes when he replied: "Could you please tell me I seem to be suffering from amnesia."
That was abnormally honest. She told him about the night and when she had finished she was on the verge of tears that she had been holding back due to the combination of stress and the retelling of one of her more precious memories.
She sat all the way back on the seat with her back up against the back of the chair and she pulled her legs up under her.
"Those were the day's," she quietly said to herself still unaware that Grievous had the best hearing.
"Why can't they still be the day's?" he asked.
"Because it's kind of hard to go back in time and make events change so that whats happening now wasn't."
"Will why can't it still be pleasant even though the things that happened have hindered something's?"
"It still can be pleasant if all you really ever wanted to do was be victorious in battle and didn't have the desire to have a little boy or girl," she said felling a void inside her she really never paid attention to.
At this little confession he was silent and so was she as the void deepened into a longing for a little child that she could call her own. She was suprised that she had actually voiced why she had not been smiling to herself let alone Grievous who apparently could do nothing about it which is why she had not said anything it just slipped.
The reason she went into this state of depression was because she missed little Kamea. She missed the little girls smile and her insecent talk along with the sound of her little giggles that always made her feel better. As she sat there relaying this to herself a smile crept across her face again.
She got up and walked over to him and looked him in the eyes, he looked distressed.
"I had an idea that could solve this."
"What?" he asked clearly suprised with her change of disposition.
"I could go and adopte a little boy or girl," she said her smile growing.
"Don't you think it would be dangerous for a little child to be running around the ship?"
"Well... yes," she admitted but an idea popped into her head. "But I could go and live with Juniper, Tayo and little Kamea," she said excitedly.
He grabbed her by the shoulders as if he were going to shake this foolishness out of her. "What? You leave? You can't do that I would go insane if I didn't have you here to keep me occupied because just thinking battle strategies for future use and bossing nonliving things around can make a person go insane!!!"
Instead of saying "Okaaaay." River lifted her eyebrow up making a face that said it for her. "If you say so," she said throwing her hands up in the air.
"Good now I'm glad I got that foolishness out of your head."
She shot him a glance of pure venom and walked out without a word.
"What was it something I siad?" he said to himself after she left the room completely at a loss.
River gratefully made her way to her room and got something to eat and went to bed for the night.