The final chapter of the search for Snape begins!
Disclaimer: Ah...read the other one
PART VI
Harry: What happens if I win this duel?
Snape: Then I come back to Hogwarts like a good Potions master.
Harry: And...just out of curiosity, what if you win?
Snape: Ummm...I haven't actually figured that out yet.
Harry: ...Okay. Well, let's duel! Levicorpus!
Snape: (dodges) Is that the best you can do?
Harry: You invented that spell.
Snape: Uh...Well, then of course it's the best you can do. Yes. Sectumsempra!
Harry: Owww! You broke my nail!
Snape: Er...what?
Harry: Never mind, Stupefy!
Snape: Oh, I've been stunned!
Harry: Really?
Snape: No, you twit! Serpentsortia!
Poof!
Fred the Basilisk: Hey, how'd I get here? (Sees Snape) Oh, goody, another Dark wizard, here to command me. Sigh...Please don't make me petrify any more students?
Snape: Actually, it's just Potter.
Fred the Basilisk: Oh, really? Sorry, Harry.
Harry: Accio Chicken!
Snape: Accio what? You're even more of an pansy than I thought, Potter.
Chicken: Cock-a-doodle-doo!
Basilisk: Oh bother, it's a rooster! Basilisks hate roosters…which means I hate roosters! Aaaaaaah! (slithers away like a scared
little school...snake)
Harry: It would seem you are the pansy, Snape.
Snape: I am no pansy, Potter. Pansius Revealum!
Harry: What's that supposed to do?
Snape: It reveals all the pansies in a ten foot radius. Obviously.
(Ron starts to glow)
Snape: It would seem your best friend is the pansy, Potter. How embarrassing.
Harry: How dare you!
Snape: Easily. I'm Snape, after all.
Harry: Pieintheface…ium!
Snape: Ah ha ha, that's not even a real spell—
SPLAT!
Harry: Expelliarmus!
Snape: Ohb bobbah. (That's "oh, bother" in pie-in-the-faced speak)
Ron: Yay! Dobby and I are un-petrified!
Dobby: Ooh, pie!
Harry: That's Snape's face, Dobby.
Dobby: Oh. Bad, bad—SPLAT!
Harry: Anyway…"I am a pansy and will now go back to school." Say it, Snape.
Snape: "Potter is a pansy and will now go back to school."
Harry: You're hilarious. Accio Shampoo!
(A large bottle of grapefruit-scented shampoo floats to Harry's hand)
Snape: You wouldn't.
Harry: Yes I would. 1...2...
Snape: I AM A PANSY! And I'll come back to Hogwarts now! You've got me, happy?
Ron: Wow, who knew Harry had such a knack for cruelty?
Hermione: (appears out of nowhere) Hurray! Now we can have potions class again!
(Everyone falls silent.)
Snape: Well don't everyone cheer at once.
Harry: Er…right. Now let's bother him, guys!
Ron: Yaaaaaaaay!
Harry and Ron: Bother bother bother bother bother...
Dumbledore: Ah, it's so nice to see professors and students getting along so well. I think I shall join! Bother bother bother...
Snape: I hate this job.
The End!