After two weeks, we were home.
Madison had to stay in the hospital before that time because of some health problems, but they had miraculously cleared up. Not to mention she was premature.
She was so tiny...
Actually, it wasn't my home. I was staying at Uncle Brown and Aunt Dee's place. Yep, that's right, they got married. Dee insisted I stay with them for the time being, ever since Mitchie's death.
I didn't talk about Mitchie anymore. It hurt too much. Whenever Dee or Brown brought up a conversation about her, I'd make up an excuse to go to my room. I just wasn't ready to talk about her yet, and they were worried.
Everybody loved Mitchie. A lot of people showed up for the...funeral. And a lot of people were heartbroken. They had prayed for us when news of the car accident got out, and prayed for Mitchie's and Madison's survival. I guess half of their prayers were answered.
I never imagined doing this without her. Raising a child, I mean. What was I going to do when she grew up and started asking questions about her mommy? How were we going to manage on tour? And what about when she started school?
"Shane? You okay?"
I looked up from my trance. Jason was looking at me, worried.
"Umm..."I shrugged. He sat down beside of me.
"I'm sorry, Shane."
"It doesn't change anything,"I bit my lip. Jason sighed.
"I know, but I don't know what to say..."
"Just...I don't know...act normal..."
"Okay...so, is Madison sleeping?"he aked. I nodded.
"Yeah. She should be after being awake all night,"I chuckled. Fatherhood was hitting me full force this week.
"She has a good set of lungs,"Jason grinned.
"Yeah,"I smiled. Almost anything about Madison made me smile.
"When is she going to be up?"
"I don't know,"I shrugged. "How come?"
"Erm...I dunno...she's kinda cute, and I think she liked my sock puppets."
I smirked at him.
"I'm going to start calling you Uncky Jason,"I chuckled. He raised an eyebrow.
"Only if I can call you Daddy Shane."
"No deal."
I rubbed my temples. Migraines were common these days.
"Need some Advil?"Jason asked.
"I'll get it later,"I shrugged, then heard Madison crying. I stood up, heading towards the stairs, and Jason followed me.
I opened the door to my room, where her crib was set up. As soon as I picked her up, she stopped crying.
"Nice,"Jason smiled, picking up her tiny hand and counting her fingers.
"She's so little,"he stated, a little in awe.
I agreed, smiling. Jason was going to be a good uncle.
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flashback
"Mmm. I love you,"Mitchie said drowsily as we woke up the day after our wedding.
"You're beautiful,"I smiled, leaning over for a kiss.
"So. What are we doing today?"she asked, stretching a bit.
"I figured if you have a honeymoon in Paris, it's a necisity to go to Eiffel Tower."
She grinned over at me, already excited.
"I need a shower,"she yawned, still half asleep. She wasn't a morning person.
"We need a shower,"I corrected her. She gave me a confused look, and I winked at her. Apparently, she got the message. Her cheeks turned slightly red.
"You're adorable,"I laughed. She slapped my chest, and I winced. She wasn't very gentle, but hey, love hurts.
If I had only known how much it really did hurt.
end of flashback
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I was attempting to sleep, but everytime I closed my eyes, I saw Mitchie's face. It was almost torture. I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position, when Madison began crying. I smiled slightly, getting out from under the covers to get her.
"What's wrong, baby girl? Need a diaper change?"I asked, checking. Nope. Dry.
"Are you hungry?"I would need to go downstairs and get some formula if she was. She continued crying as I rocked her back and forth.
"Shh. Shh. Daddy's here,"I whispered, and began humming lightly. To my surprise, she stopped crying a few secondslater, looking up at me with innocent hazel eyes. She had my eyes, but Mitchie's ears and nose...she had the same birthmark on her neck as I did. It looked like she was going to have my hair, too. I was amazed at how much she looked like both me and Mitchie...she was beautiful.
She grabbed my finger, wrapping her tiny hand around it. I kissed her forehead, but continued humming. Soon, her eyes began to close, and she was finally asleep. I gently stood up and placed her back in her crib.
"Wow,"I heard someone whisper. I turned to see Dee in the doorway, and smiled.
"Hey Dee,"I said in a low voice. She came in and sat next to me.
"I heard her crying, and thought you might need help, but I guess I was wrong,"she hugged me. I hugged her back.
"You're going to be alright, Shane. We're gonna be alright,"she said suddenly. I sighed.
"I don't feel alright,"I told her in a cracked voice. She rubbed my back.
"I know, sweetie. I know."
"Why me?"I put my head in my hands.
"Shane...we never know why, sometimes these things just happen."
"Why would God do that, Dee? If not keep Mitchie alive for me, keep her alive for Madison,"I sniffed, eyes brimming.
"Sometimes we don't see things the way God does, but in the end, it all works out for the best. You'll see Mitchie again someday, Shane."
I looked up, A tear escaping and rolling down my cheek.
"You're tired. Go to sleep,"she told me, smiling. I chuckled slightly as Mom left and I crawled back to bed. But I never did get to sleep.