She wanted to carry on working
desperately; knowing what was going in inside her was an all too
familiar sensation. She knew what was happening, the carbon monoxide
could have been in the air for longer than she cared to imagine,
chances are it was in her bloodstream and that's what killed her
unborn child and carrying on was only going to worsen the situation,
however much she hated to say it she knew she had to stop for the
sake of her own health. She looked over to where Jayne stood and
walked over to her "I have to go…"
"Connie, you can't
just go. You're the clinical director and until the guys get
back from Paris you're the highest ranking consultant in this
place. You're their boss, I'm your boss I tell you what to
do."
"Jayne… you don't understand… I have to go."
She was pleading, the tears were slowly threatening to fall yet she
wouldn't let them free from her eyes. Watching as Jayne glared at
her, she realised that Jayne was oblivious to the pain she was going
through.
"You better have a bloody good excuse Connie, right
now I don't, no I can't be arsed with time wasters…"
"If
you'd have bothered to ring theatre sooner maybe I wouldn't be in
this mess… Carbon monoxide kills foetuses in the first trimester
before it's even detected… I am, sorry, I was about 6 weeks
pregnant and if you expect me to walk about here doing my job when I
am currently loosing a baby- think again." She wiped the falling
tears furiously and turned her back on Jayne, since being with Ric
she'd changed dramatically- the old Connie would have worked
through the most traumatic events; she worked until she nearly gave
birth in an operating theatre trying to save a person she'd grown
to regard as one of her few close colleagues, yet this Connie put
herself before that of a patient and for one of the first times in
her life, before her career.
He knew something was wrong, he
wasn't sure what it was but he knew. Turning to Elliot he spoke
quietly "Something's happening in Holby. I don't know what it
is I just got that… feeling"
"Umm… me too… we break in
10 minutes, ring someone."
"I'm going to leave and ring now…
I just… I don't know something doesn't feel right…" Elliot
nodded in approval, "Let me know ok Ric?"
Glad he was sitting
up the back of the room he slipped out of the meeting and pulled his
phone out of his pocket, ringing the last used number in his phone
book, Connie.
"Hello…" the tears were
apparent in her voice. Immediately he knew something was the
matter
"Connie, it's me… what's happened?"
"What do
you mean what's happened?" she sniffed away a fresh burst of
tears.
"Elliot and I both had a feeling… Connie, tell me, you
know you can tell me right?"
"Yeah… yeah I know. I just…
I'm not in a good frame of mind" How could she tell him she lost
his baby, their baby. She didn't even know how she got to the
hospital bed she was in, the moments during the carbon monoxide leak
were a blur to her. Something she didn't want to remember. "Connie,
sweetheart… tell me…" he must have been desperate, or actually
worried- something she'd not really experienced with a man was
worry for her wellbeing.
Taking a deep breath she told him everything. The discovery of the baby in the airport before she left Paris, then work that morning. The phone call, the running from her patient and the people she left to clean up her mess. Then ultimately, the discovery of the loss of their unborn child, she told him her anger. She didn't let on her heartbreak but she knew that he felt it- after all it was his child
too, he didn't have to feel her heartbreak, he had his own to feel.
