Hey guys! Thanks sooo much for the good reviews!! You are tooo kind! Okay, you've all been waiting for this: Carlisle and Esme's 'Chat'.
Ccullen: Esme baby, you are on!
Escullen: Car, I know! We never are alone like this.
Ccullen: Hardly, Edward has been listening to my thoughts, and I think he might be on to us. I'll just have to think about what I'm typing in Chinese.
Escullen: You are so smart, I love you!
Ccullen: Let's get to it then!
Escullen: Starts the kiss tenderly and pulls closer to Car.
Ccullen: Gets in our bed friskily and pounces on Esme.
Escullen: Removes Car's clothes hastily.
…Rhale has entered the room…
Ccullen: Crap! Rose is in!
Rhale: Hey guys. Sorry to barge in on your cyber sex. I just needed to ask you guys if you were discussing Bella's transformation, but you are clearly not. Explain yourself, Esme?
Escullen: Um, hey Rose…
Rhale: Any moment now.
Escullen: Car, you can leave.
Ccullen: Have, uh, fun.
…Ccullen has left the room…
Escullen: I'm sorry, Rosalie. It's hard to explain, but Carlisle keeps seducing me! I don't know what to do!
Rhale: How about you… STOP YELLING ME AND HAVE REAL SEX!!
Escullen: Um, I have to go.
Rhale: No you don't!
Escullen: Yes I do!
Rhale: Where?!
Escullen: To the grocery store. They are having a sale on canned fruits!
Rhale: We don't eat!
Escullen: Bella! I'm buying canned veggies for Bella.
Rhale: You said fruits.
Escullen: Fruits? Fruits, veggies, same diff. Gotta go, bye!
…Escullen has left the room…
…Ecullen has entered the room…
Ecullen: Wow, Rose. Esme was shaking, she was so nervous. You need to let people own more gently.
Rhale: Ed, she didn't let me down first.
Ecullen: Being the better person? What ever happened to that virtue? You are honestly so shallow sometimes.
Rhale: My Emmett will understand. Who cares about virtue-whaty-whats?
Ecullen: Virtues. Anyways, Emmett will only understand your tight blue tank top and red leather mini skirt. And I guess you'll pair it with the brown suede stilettos Alice gave you for Christmas.
Rhale: No, I won't!! Besides, it will be my white kind of see through cami, and the silver pants that show my butt.
Ecullen: I don't think so! You are ridiculous. Those two pieces will NEVER go together!!
Rhale: C'mon, bro. Be reasonable. I'm considering wearing the cami with a bra.
Ecullen: You might go braless?? You might as well go naked!!
Rhale: Fine, which bra should I choose? Red, Blue, Sparkly, Polka dot, or leopard print.
Ecullen: I say blue; it's the subtlest. God, what am I saying??
Rhale: Maybe I should've just asked Alice.
Ecullen: You've got that right.
Rhale: I'm changing the subject. Bella said that you shoved a tampon up your ass and had a freaky reaction.
Ecullen: She told you??
Rhale: Well, she told Alice and Alice told me. So, explain??
Ecullen: Fine! So I'm in Bella's room, and she says she needs a human moment. She came back with a box of tampons.
Rhale: OMG, you freaked, right?
Ecullen: No. I asked her what she was doing with them, because it wasn't time for her cycle. I go crazy when that happens because she is bleeding!
Rhale: Ah, I'm glad I'm not human anymore.
Ecullen: Yeah, she got all embarrassed when I asked her and she said that Alice gave her this wild idea, and thought I should try it.
Rhale: So, did you let her?
Ecullen: Duh! It was rather sensual at first, but then Bella got eager and threw herself on top of me. The rest is history.
Rhale: Aw, man! You are sooo evil!
Ecullen: Yeah. Oh god. I saw Alice seeing me in Bella's room again with the box!!
Rhale: Go get her lover boy!
…Ecullen has left the room…
Rhale: Lover boy? U still there?
Rhale: Helloooo?? I guess lover boy was eager.