Hey! Sorry I haven't updated in very long. I don't have much of an excuse either. Anyways, I couldn't sleep last night and thought of an idea. I hope it's funny. Also, when they have the chat room conference, the reason why they don't just talk face to face, is cuz its more fun!
Acullen: Esme. Thank god ur online! Major crisis here at the Cullen castle!
Escullen: Oh god… what did the boys do this time?
Acullen: It's just Emmett. Maybe… I shouldn't tell you. It would be better off.
Escullen: Oh no. Alice, c'mon. You can tell me anything. Besides, after last time I left you in charge, things got crazy.
Acullen: Fine. Emmett has turned into a horny puppy. He's dry humping everything in sight!
Escullen: Holy crap! That happened to Carlisle a while back… oh wait. I wasn't supposed to tell you that.
Acullen: You've got that right! Burning images!
Escullen: Anyway, we need to have a meeting since Carlisle and I are back in Forks.
Acullen: Yeah, you guys are idiots. Trying to explain to Charlie why Bella ran off with us all the way across the country.
Escullen: Never mind that. Get everyone except Emmett on their computers.
…Escullen, Ccullen, Acullen, Ecullen, Rhale, Bswan, and Jhale have entered CULLEN CONFERENCE…
Rhale: Thank god Alice told Esme. Things are getting bad.
Ccullen: Ok, Rose. Give me the details so I can diagnose something for that boy.
Rhale: Well, it started last night, when we were getting into it.
Jhale: We know. Everyone could hear you!
Rhale: Shut up Jasper! Anyways, I was like any night we have. Then BAM! He had this weird muscle jerk spasm thingy and was on the ground shaking.
Ecullen: That was the earthquake we heard?
Rhale: Shut up Edward! Ok, so then he got up, and started doing me really hard. It hurt, and he couldn't stop even though he wanted to. Once I got him in control, he ran down stairs.
Acullen: And started humping ME!
Jhale: I'm going to kill him! No one humps my girl except me!
Ccullen: Awkward…
Bswan: Then he asked if I'd dance nude for him…
Rhale: That's pretty much it. He just kept doing that to anything.
Escullen: As Alice said, he was like a horny puppy.
Ccullen: Hmmm. Hey, that gave me a brilliant idea!
Escullen: What is it, Car?
Ccullen: We are going to fix Emmett!
Rhale: Your going to cut off his balls?!
Acullen: Haha. He's going to want to keep 'em in a jar on your nightstand. LOL.
Rhale: Shut up, Alice!
Ecullen: That is going to be hard. We can't tell Emmett. He'd freak out and run back to Canada!
Ccullen: Kids, where is Emmett now?
Jhale: Locked in a bullet proof safe.
Acullen: Bella's keeping guard right now. Not that she'd have the strength to put him back.
Ccullen: Well, we're coming back their ASAP. Get Emmett ready. Edward, I'll tell you how to set up via mind.
Rhale: Why again do we have to neuter my beautiful Emmett? He never did anything too bad…
I hope that was ok. I'm thinking of writing the next chapter in regular format so it makes sense. It would be hard for Carlisle to be doing surgery on Emmett while chatting online.