A/N: Sorry this was so late. Things have been really hectic at my house and I couldn't figure out how to really write this. Sorry if it kind of sucks.

Hope you like it Mimi.

"Mello, is it possible that you're attracted to me?"

No, that couldn't be it. It had to be something else, anything else.

But Mello was a genius, he knew that it had to be true, but there was no way in hell that he would admit it to Near.

"There is no fucking way that I'm attracted to you!"

Near raised an almost nonexistent eyebrow, it had to be true if Mello was this defensive. Near had found a new thing to puzzle over, how to get Mello to admit that he was attracted to him, or at the very least, make him do something that would prove it.

"What are you wearing, Mello?"

"What?!"

That question was entirely out of left field. What was Near doing?

"What are you wearing, Mello? I'm curious."

"Uh…I'm wearing my usual clothes."

"Describe them to me."

"Near, what the hell are you doing?"

It was Near's turn to be embarrassed. He started twirling the lock of hair around his finger with more force.

"…Well, I was alone and stuck on something for the case and I found a magazine that said people like this."

"What magazine?"

"…Cosmopolitan."

Mello didn't know what was weirder, Near reading Cosmo or Near actually trying to have phone sex.

He almost felt sorry for Near. This was obviously his first time doing something like this with anyone.

"Near, do you even know what you're trying to do?"

"The magazine said that it was a way for two people to have fun, even if they were separated by distance."

"Near, that's only for couples. People that are actually in a relationship!"

"I believe that Mello and I are in a relationship."

It was times like these that Mello really hated Near for being a social retard.

"People in a romantic relationship, not a rivalry. We don't do this kind of thing!"

"Why not? Mello is obviously attracted to me and I have no problem with Mello, so what is the problem?"

"Damn it, Near! The problem is I hate you!"

"Then why did you call me?"

Mello couldn't even think of an answer anymore. Things had gotten much more complicated than he wanted them to.

But, if they did this, maybe the fantasies would go away. It was worth a shot.

"Ok Near."

"What?"

"If you want to try this, then let's do it."

--

Matt wasn't in the best of moods, to say the least.

He had just spent over an hour at the grocery store trying to buy food from this obnoxious old woman. She kept trying to set him up on a date with her daughter, and while Matt probably wouldn't have minded going out on a date, the idea of the mother setting it up was more than a little creepy.

But he had succeeded in getting the much needed items to sustain both him and Mello. A few frozen pizzas, energy drinks, and of course, about three pounds of chocolate.

All Matt wanted to do was get inside and lose himself in his games, but a noise from inside the apartment stopped him dead.

Was that moaning he was hearing?

He stood there frozen for a few minutes. Then he heard a very loud moan followed by silence.

Cautiously, he opened the door to see Mello, sitting in a chair, panting, and hanging out of his pants.

Matt turned as red as his hair. This was not something he ever thought he would see. But then he noticed the mess that Mello had made all over the living room.

There was cum everywhere! He even saw a bit that had landed on his PS2! That snapped him out of his shock.

"Damn it Mello! Don't fucking masturbate in the living room! Use your own fucking room!"

Matt stormed into the tiny kitchen area and attempted to unsee everything, while he searched for cleaning supplies. He had to disinfect his poor gaming system.

Mello just sat there until Matt was out of sight. Then he grabbed the phone, which had fallen during his orgasm.

"You still there Near?"

"Yes. I take it Matt's home. He sounded angry."

"He'll get over it."

He wouldn't. And Mello was already preparing himself to get bitched at.

"Is Mello feeling less confused?"

"Yes. But now there's something we really need to do."

"What's that?"

Mello smirked.

"We have to do this in person."

I chickened out on the smut. Don't kill me Mimi, I just didn't know how to really write it. I hope you liked it anyway.