At a request, here's the alternate ending…. Enjoy.

Silence greeted me. No beeping, dripping, whooshing machines. Just silence. I felt myself go white.

The bed was empty.

Emotions washed through me, bleeding together like watercolors. Disbelief, rage, loss… there was so much I couldn't move, couldn't think straight. I wanted to scream, to break something.

But all that came out was a strangled, "No."

Numbly, I staggered over to a chair and collapsed into it. There wasn't a single wrinkle in the blankets, nothing to show she had been there not a day ago. Like she'd been erased from this world.

Like she never even existed.

How did I let this happen again? How did a lose her, too? Through the haze in my mind, I thought, it's never going to end. Who would be next? Darry? Soda? Two-Bit? Steve?

Me?

No. It wouldn't be me. It could never be me. Life would watch me lose everything I had, let me live in pain and loneliness, then let me die an old man.

I sat there for hours. I didn't cry. There were no tears left to cry. All I could do was stare at the spot where my Heather once slept.

-0-0-0-

They buried her at sunset. We always had watched them together, had even shared our first kiss at sunset. It just seemed right.

A shaft of golden light fell on the tomb stone, making the grey stone shine, the letters carved into it looking deeper, more permanent:

Heather Lynn Reed

October 9th, 1943 - June 21st, 1956.

Stay Gold.

That last line would've been on Johnny's grave, too, but we couldn't afford it since his parents refused to pay for a burial. I'd made sure we buried her right beside him. I knew that they'd have been great friends if they ever met.

The gang stood around me, still and silent. Elsie stood on the other side of the grave, drying her eyes with a black scarf. She was paying for the funeral. I was grateful for that, but… I don't know. I guess I felt like she didn't know Heather well enough to be crying for her.

The priest stood between us all, reading passages from the bible, making his little speech about her. I sort of drifted in and out, mostly just remembering every moment she and I had spent together.

"Would anyone like to say a few words for Heather?" he asked in his raspy, old voice.

Darry stepped forward, clearing his throat. "I'm not very good with words," he started, "But I think I speak for the whole gang when I say you helped us more than anyone ever could. You showed up when we needed something bright and beautiful, when we needed to see that there was still… still some good in the world. We'll miss you."

He stepped back. Soda clapped a hand on his shoulder.

I stepped forward. "I…" my voice broke and I tried again. "I lost the best friend I ever had, and it really hurt. I couldn't think straight anymore. Then you came and helped me when I needed it most. You gave me my life back. No," In spite of myself, I laughed bitterly. "You changed it. You changed me. Changed us. You took a bunch of ordinary JDs and turned them into something so much more than that. And I'll always love you for it."

Slowly I rejoined the group. I felt hands on my shoulders, but I couldn't pay much attention to them. I was too focused on Heather's tombstone.

The priest said some last words, then closed his book, turned, and walked back into the church. Slowly, the others followed. But I stayed, longer than the sun did, reading the words over and over again, still rapped in my own thoughts.

I remembered a line from one of Poe's stories: In the deepest slumber -- no! In delirium -- no! In a swoon -- no! In death -- no! Even in the grave, all is not lost. I wondered about that. Was she really gone? Or were there ways for her to come back?

I thought about that night when she and I were watching the stars from my living room window, wondering if they watched us back. I wondered that now. Could everyone who had lived and died, everyone we loved, be watching over us, even in death?

I looked up. A few stars were coming out, twinkling feebly. And, call me crazy, but I swear one of them was a sort of greenish-gold.

"If you can hear me, way up there," I whispered, "I love you. I always have and I always will. The boys and I… we really miss you down here. But I hope you're okay." I turned to go, then turned back. "And, say hi to Johnny and Dally and Mom and Dad for me, please. We really miss them, too."

Almost in response, the star flashed once.

I smiled softly. Then I turned and headed back inside.

I think I like this one better than the other, but that's just me. What did you all think? Please review!

Oh, and I don't own the Outsiders or that line from The Pit and the Pendulum.