A/N: Thanks for the reviews. By the way, please go to my profile soon and vote on the poll, okay? I keep forgetting to tell people about that…

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Azure Paler than the Sky.

seventeen.

"I can tell you a secret, can't I?"

Matt looked up from where he had been pulling down his jeans. He had gotten in that night around two in the morning, about half an hour after Mello got in from his session with L and Near. When Matt walked in, he was rather surprised to see Mello sitting on the edge of the bed in nothing but Matt's boxers, a half-eaten bar of chocolate hanging out of his mouth. Immediately, Matt knew something must've been up and was worried because Mello might've been trying to figure out the meaning of the universe again. Whenever he tried that, though, it always got to be too much for dear Mel and he grew depressed for weeks.

As Matt soon found out, though, it was nothing of the sort. He smirked at the confession of wanting to share a secret. After pushing down his jeans and throwing his shirt in some random direction, he pulled his goggles down around his neck and climbed into bed beside Mello who had finally laid down.

"'Course, Mel!" He nodded at the blond, his smirk still hanging there. "You know I'm the best secret-keeper there is-"

"Oh, don't start that shit! You're the one who told Near we kissed. You have to promise me you won't go telling anyone. Not Near, not Matsuda and none of the nosy-ass teachers here."

Matt pursed his lips and let out a sigh. He raised his hand in the air, pinky extended. Mello reached up and lace their pinkies together.

"Pinky-promise."

"Pinky-promise."

"Okay," Matt said, letting their hands fall back to the mattress with a soft thud and a bounce of the springs, "so what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

Mello sighed. "It's just… okay, you know I love Near, right?"

"Of course I do, honeybunch."

"Shut up. Well, okay, we've been fighting… but now it just seems so stupid to me. I miss him. I really do, but at the same time, I think… I've just been thinking about L a lot lately. Heh," Mello laughed half-heartedly and turned over in bed, facing the wall. "Actually… I think I…"

Matt waited for Mello to continue but when he didn't, Matt prompted, "You think…?"

"Ah, God, I can't fucking say it!"

"Mel, come on, dude, who am I?"

Mello groaned.

Matt insisted, "Tell me who I am, Mel."

"… you're my best friend," Mello grumbled, turning his head into the pillow. After a moment's worth of sulking and twisting in his own mind, he lifted his head from the fabric and said, "It's fucking insane. I mean, for God's sake, L is the creepiest perv I know. He walks around barefoot, watching everyone obsessively, he's fucking snarky twenty-four-seven. He looks like a fucking peeping tom. All he's got is his talent as an artist. He teases me, he knows exactly how to get to me… He…"

Matt looked at his back for a moment and then said, ticking it off on his finger, "He's sexy."

"That is SO not what I need to hear right now," Mello shouted, whipping his head around.

Matt laughed and put a hand on Mello's head to ruffle his hair. "S'okay, Mel. I've always known about your cute crush on L."

"Stop that, it is not cute, it's a fucking problem! A catastrophe - it's catastrophic!"

"Why?"

"What the fuck? What do you mean, why? What am I going to do, apologize to Near for being such an ass and ignoring him and then tell him I think I'm in love with our professor? That I might've always felt this way? And L chooses now to pay me any attention… Fuck him! You know, he flirts around with Near too! But… it's just that lately when he does it… I couldn't care less…"

"What do you mean?"

"When he touches Near," Mello said, softening, "it doesn't make me mad."

"Did it use to?"

"… I use to be jealous." Mello paused for a moment and then closed his eyes tightly. "I love Near, okay?"

"Jeez, you don't need to try to convince me! I know you do, okay, Mel? It doesn't matter if you like L-"

"I don't like L! I hate him! He's a jackass."

Matt blinked. "But you just said-"

"I lied, all I need is Near." Mello huffed and wiggled deeper into the covers and only a tuft of blond hair was sticking out.

Matt looked at him for a moment and then sighed, looking up at the ceiling. There was nothing but breathing then for a few minutes and Matt finally said, "You're going about this the wrong way. You're just going to make yourself unhappy."

Mello said nothing, only pulled the cover tighter.

"Our hearts have a lot of room in them, y'know… so, like, for you to try to make one person fill it all up… that's a lot of work for them. You should try letting other people fill it up too, Mel. You'd be a lot happier."

There was a pause and then Mello pulled the cover down from his face and glanced back at Matt. But he had turned around and pulled the cover up over his own head.

"Night, Mel."

-

The next day, Near's breath could be seen puffing out in white clouds in front of his face as he sped-shuffled down the hallways. He had just come from the outside into the photography building. The sky was darkening and it was freezing outside, the ground seemingly frozen. But still, the sky wouldn't give up the snow, it continued to taunt campus with the prospect and keep everyone on their toes.

Near walked down the hallway, his sneakers squeaking against the just-mopped linoleum. Some students walked past him, a few Senior girls who cooed at how cute he looked in his large white hoodie that said in light blue letters, Blooper. Matt had purchased it for him during the summer in anticipation for the upcoming winter and Near was very grateful for it. Even though it garnered a lot of attention that he could have done without.

He rounded the corner and came to room 16. There was some talking heard from inside and Near raised his fist to knock gingerly. He stood there expectantly, face raised to whomever would open the door. But after a few minutes with no answer, he guessed no one had heard him. He knocked again, louder, and the door immediately opened, scaring the daylights out of Near.

"Hey, who's out here makin' all that ra - oh…" An older student peered down at Near standing there, pale-faced. He smiled. "Hey there, child. Are you on a tour here? Get lost?"

Near puffed out his cheeks indignantly. "No, I am a Junior here," he said.

"Wow, really?"

"Yes, really. Now… may I please speak to Matt? He has this class period, doesn't he?"

"Oh, Matt? Yeah, he's here…" He opened the door wider so Near could enter. Near shuffled in, placing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. Inside, it was a large room with concrete on the floor instead of tiling and it was almost as cold in there as it was outside. Near shivered and looked around as students lounged around on furniture and held joints or cigarettes in their hands on in between their lips. The room itself was filled with smoke.

Near coughed delicately.

"Oh, sorry about the smoke, little dude," his guide said, shrugging, "but us photography students like to relax."

"W-Where's the teacher?" Near asked, squinting at the name of 'little dude.'

"I'unno. Somewhere. Anyway, Matt is in one of the modeling rooms. Uh… number 3, I think. Let's check." He walked over to one of four doors with the bronze letter three on the front. He opened the door, peeking in. He looked back at Near, grinning and waving him over. Near trotted over, fanning the smoke away from his face. He walked into the room as prompted by the older student as the boy called inside, "Matt, this little dude wants to see you!"

"I'm busy! … S'it some kid in white?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh, that's Near. Send 'em in."

"'Kay. You're clear, little dude," he said and scooted Near in, shutting the door behind him.

Near turned around, sighing, "Matt, there - oh my…!" Near turned back around quickly, blushing, with his hands covering his mouth.

"Near? Hey, kiddo, what's the word? I've never had you come see me in class before," Matt said, continuing to operate his camera and move around the room. The subject Matt was using was splayed out on a large white sheet in front of a white drape. She was a rather large girl, around maybe three hundred pounds, all bare flesh and fresh red hair. She was freckled all down her body and had her hands covering her breasts and her legs crossed.

Matt looked up from her for a second at Near as he shook in the corner. "… Near? You need something?"

"Y-You're busy, I'll come back later-"

"No, man, come here, it's okay. I'm just working. Look, Lisa doesn't mind you watching, do you, Lisa?"

"Actually-"

"See, Lisa doesn't mind. Near, come here."

Near let out a shuddering breath and turned around, keeping his eyes focused on Matt. He walked forward until he was standing beside his friend and Matt smiled at him, dipping his head until he was looking through the lens again. "So," he said and there was the sound of the shutter closing and opening rapidly, "what brings you here?"

"I-I just wanted to talk to you… but… I would really appreciate it if you said nothing to Mello-"

"Or Matsuda or any of the nosy teachers here. Right?"

"… Right…" Near cocked his head to the side curiously and Matt laughed, reaching out a hand to pat him on the head. Near continued, "Um, anyway, it's sort of about Mello… no, well, it's more about L…"

"What about 'em?"

"I… miss Mello," he admitted, turning his head to the side.

"Do you now?" Matt asked and took a few more steps closer to Lisa. "That a girl, keep those legs crossed. Only need one set of lips showing."

Near blushed thoroughly and continued, "It's just that… even though I love Mello… I've been thinking about other things lately… L, actually. I try not to but I… I like him, I think. I've always admired him as a painter and a mentor but I just… now, I just…"

"Just what?"

"Just now, it's different. I feel different. And awful because this has nothing to do with Mello… even though he has been quite unreasonable lately and we've fought, I can't help but still love him… Um… this doesn't make any sense…"

"Sure as hell doesn't," Matt laughed, straightening. "Why're you sweating this so much? You know, some people would say it's natural to - oops, hold that thought."

Matt turned around and went to the back of the room where there was a small refrigerator. He bent down and opened it up, grabbing a slice of cake on a plate out of it. He shut the door with the heel of his boot and walked back over, putting the plate on Lisa's stomach. She blinked at it.

"Break time," he announced and pulled a carton of Marlboros out of his back pocket. He slid a cigarette into his mouth and pulled a lighter out of his other pocket. As he lit it, he regarded Near's miserable expression. "Aw, come on, Near. Don't look at me like that."

"I am malcontented."

Matt snorted a laugh.

"It is not funny," Near concluded, looking downward. "L is indeed wonderful. I like him very much. But I do not want to jeopardize my relationship with Mello by making it known. I care for him too much and don't want to lose him to gain something uncertain."

"Who says it's uncertain?"

"L is a teacher."

"Since when has that been a big problem?"

Near shook his head. "I'm not you, Matt. I couldn't see myself… "

Matt exhaled a large puff of smoke and frowned. Jesus, Mel… why'd I have to go and make a fucking pinky-promise… I could fix this! I know I could! Ugh, why's everything so complicated?

"Mello," Matt mumbled, inhaling.

Near looked up. "What was that?"

Matt blinked down at him. He exhaled. "Nothing, just thinking about Mel. You won't lose him, okay?"

Near nodded. "I know I won't. Because I am going to ignore L's advances… or, rather… cut them off all together."

"Right, I - wait, what? Near!" Matt looked to his right and Near was at the door, throwing it open and as quickly as he had walked over there, he was gone. Matt furrowed his brow, frustrated. "Aw, Jesus! Why does no one listen to me, huh? Lisa, why?"

"Maybe it's because-"

"I swear, no one appreciates good, brotherly advice anymore."

Lisa groaned.

-

Raito sighed as he sat on the big, plush couch in Mikami's living room area. Afternoon was turning into dusk outside but it wasn't that easy to tell without a clock. It had been dark all day and Raito had spent a good half of the day in Mikami's apartment, arguing with him but to no avail. It wasn't the average argument anyway. Every time Raito would state a point, Mikami would sympathize and tell Raito in some obscure way that he was right, while at the same time, he maintained his own stand point. Raito felt like a puppy chasing its tail.

"I'm just saying, be nicer to him. He's done nothing wrong, he is a kind person and you should be ashamed to treat a student with bias. As a professor, it's your responsibility to stay out of student affairs unless asked for help," Raito preached, "and I do not remember asking for assistance."

Mikami sat down beside him, putting his arm around the brunet. "I know, princess, and I apologize for being crude to your friend. But you must know how I feel about you by now and what he did was inexcusable."

"It was a tiny kiss, it was barely a second long. It was basically a 'goodnight' in physical form."

"A handshake could have sufficed."

"I'm sure you would have found something wrong with that," Raito huffed, folding his arms over his chest.

Mikami smirked and nuzzled the side of Raito's neck affectionately. "You know me so well, princess…"

Raito frowned and gasped, recoiling when Mikami began a love bite on the side of Raito's neck. Raito scooted away until he was pressed up against the armrest. "I am most certainly not in that sort of mood, Teru. You don't make such a fuss when other students pass notes in class."

"Those students actually do well on the tests and quizzes and their projects come out looking like something worthwhile."

"That's not fair. He tries."

"Why doesn't he switch to the culinary department?" Mikami asked, sighing and placing his arm over the back of the couch. "As much as everyone raves about his cooking, he would be best suited for that."

Raito nodded. "I know that but he says sculpture is his passion."

Mikami rolled his eyes. "What a waste of a good cruise line chef."

There was a pause and then Raito turned his head to the side, a small snickering sound emitted. Mikami grinned and, sensing an opening, slid back over to Raito, replacing his arm around the man. When Raito turned back around, their noses were two inches apart and Mikami wore a lose smirk on his lips. He leaned in and placed a kiss on Raito's lips, pulling back for a second and then going back in, pushing Raito back into the couch cushion.

Raito sighed into the kiss and let Mikami lean into him. What Raito had been noticing about Mikami lately was that he liked it when Raito was the dominant one. Raito thought it odd for a man who was so imposing in every other thing to be submissive to him. As he was kissed and hands moved around his waist, tugging at the hem of his shirt, Raito thought that maybe - just maybe - L had been right about the whole masochist thing.

But, when he truly thought about it, Matsuda himself had been pretty eager to take the lead when surprising Raito with that kiss. Suddenly, Raito pulled away from Mikami and put a hand to the man's chest.

"I'm… just not in the mood right now."

Mikami leant back, a faltering smile on his face. "Would you rather do something else? It's still very early-"

"Actually, I still have some homework left from your class," Raito said, getting up from the couch with a wink. "I should get to it."

"You know you don't have to worry about that."

"I'm an ex-teacher so I get special treatment. Doesn't sound fair." Raito was heading for the door. Mikami started to get up after him but instead he plopped back down on the couch and sighed, waving after Raito.

Raito waved and left, closing the door gingerly behind him.

He sighed when his back was against the door and looked to the ceiling as if it would provide guidance. It neglected to do so and Raito began walking down the hallway, wondering what he would do with himself for the rest of the night.

I could always go to Matsuda's apartment… maybe I could help him with his homework since he didn't get the notes yesterday… Would he take that as a come-on, though? Agh, I doubt he would notice me hitting on him even if I threw him to a mattress. But technically, I'm with Mikami so wouldn't going over seem… whorish? Even though he's just a friend. And we only had one date. And it was just one kiss… just-

"OW!"

Raito bumped into something hard and went stumbling back a few steps, his hand instinctively flying up to cradle his bruised forehead. When Raito looked up through blurred vision, he saw L standing there with a small bruise on his forehead as well.

"Lawliet," Raito moaned, lowering his hand. "What're you doing?"

"Well… I was walking. And you crashed into me. I think I am owed an apology."

"You must've not been looking where you were going," Raito accused, not bothering to share any of the blame. He shook away the rest of the fuzziness from his vision and then sighed, motioning towards L's person. "What're you doing here, anyway?"

"I have walked around the campus about five times."

"… The entire campus?"

"Yes."

"What for?"

"I have been thinking," he said, starting off down the stairs. Raito followed, falling into step with him. "And I've also been waiting for it to snow. It sure does look like it will soon."

Raito hummed, "I guess so… but what've you been thinking of?" He laughed. "What, did the cafeteria run out of strawberry shortcake?"

L shook his head. "No, actually, I've been considering suicide."

Raito froze, mouth agape. "W-Wh-"

"I kid," L said, looking over his shoulder with a smile.

"Lawliet! You… you can't joke about a thing like that! That's not funny," Raito raged, catching up with him. He was red in the face and his mannerisms were as if he was about to pound childishly on L's shoulder. L only smirked at him and Raito frowned but dropped it and instead said, "Well, what is the problem then?"

"I think my plan regarding Near and Mello has gone horribly awry…" L moped, frowning at the ground.

Raito looked at him. "No shit."

L blinked.

"I told you it would never work. What were you trying to accomplish anyway? They would've made up on their own sooner or later but you just had to butt in and look at you, you're a sighing mess."

"What's that mean?"

Raito shook the hair out of his eyes arrogantly. "You've got a thing for both of them, don't you?"

L glanced over at him and then returned his gaze to the ground. "Raito, I think I'm a pervert," he said seriously.

"And you're just now noticing?"

"That is not funny."

"Neither are jokes about suicide!"

"All right, all right," he yawned.

Raito took a minute before sighing, glancing toward the ceiling. Where were those answers? "You're not a pervert, Lawliet. Mello is a grown man… okay, maybe the Near thing is kind of perverted. He looks like he's eleven."

L fought back a smirk. "He is quite mature."

Raito groaned, shutting his eyes. "I don't want to hear that! Listen, this is something that has to be resolved between the three of you. It's not going to go away so it has to be dealt with."

"I agree."

"Good," Raito said, nodding. "Now, let's go to the cafeteria."

L smiled. "You think they're out of strawberry shortcake?"

"I doubt it."

-

At eight o' clock that night, students gathered in L's advanced painting class. Most of them were tired from a day of classes or had just woken up from a nap before the class but Mello was completely revved up and sat in front of his easel with great anticipation, waiting for Near to walk through the door and sit beside him. Throughout all their fighting, in L's class, they had never strayed to sit apart. They simply acted as if the other wasn't right beside them.

Mello was tapping his foot impatiently on the ground which was annoying some people sitting in close proximity. Mello already had what he wanted to say planned out. He looked towards the door, right through L, and waited. He had been attempting to give L as little attention as possible - don't ask for candy, don't tease him, don't get into squabbles, don't flirt…

It was a long list and it boiled down to "don't talk."

In a moment, Near shuffled in, the hood of his coat on. He shook his head and it fell off and around his neck. Mello refrained from jumping off of his stool as Near crossed the tiles.

"Hello, Near," L offered, watching him.

"Hello," Near answered, continuing to his seat. He sat himself down and glanced up at Mello, surprised when the blond was looking down at him as well. Near mumbled, "Hello, Me-"

"I'm sorry," he interrupted.

Near blinked. "Excuse me-"

"I'm sorry, all right? I didn't mean to be an asshole and not tell you about Matt and… what I told Raito… I'm really sorry. Don't be mad anymore because I miss you." He'd said it all practically in one breath. Practicing that to a picture of Near pinned up on his bathroom mirror was about the same as the real Near was quiet, too.

Near blinked a few times and his expression softened, his breath warming his slightly pink nose from the cold, "I'm sorry, too. That I kissed a stuffed rabbit." He smirked a bit.

Mello raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Well… you know."

Class started soon after that and L declared that partners needed to be found. Mello and Near were immediately together, not needing words to be spoken and together they worked on their project, both trying to keep focus. But there was this funny thing. Something tingling over their shoulders and every once in a while, one of them would glance around and L would be at his stool, eating something, glancing back at them.

Mello would turn back around, huffing.

Near would sigh and feel a little sick inside.

L just continued to eat his candies, one by one, and by the end of class he had consumed twice his normal amount. After he had announced the next meeting time and dismissed everyone, the students moved in a cattle-like fashion towards the door. Mello and Near walked in the midst of them but, once at the door, Near stopped. He said, "I have to talk to L for a moment."

"Oh. Okay, uh, I'll wait out in the hallway." Mello walked out into the corridor, leaving Near at the threshold. He turned around and walked towards L's stool where the man was sitting, hunched over.

"Something to talk to me about?" he asked as Near walked around to face him.

Near nodded, eyes downcast.

L popped in another candy. "What is it?"

There was a pause and then, Near let out a breath. He'd been practicing in front of a mirror, too. "L," he said to the floor, "I-I just-"

"Please, don't be so shy. We're friends, aren't we?"

Near blinked and hesitated. After a moment, he managed to bring his head up. "L, I… I can't be your assistant anymore."

-

to be continued.

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A/N: Yep, I know, no radio show this chapter... will be some next time. Please tell me your thoughts.