To Ziro--Im sorry but you dont have any proof that u wrote this. A girl name Tawnyfire on the Warriors Wish Proboards Forums wrote it...
Crowpaw's eyes moved rapidly as his ears fluttered against his head fur, the AC blowing a firm breeze. "Yes, Yellowpaw, OH YES!" He yowled in his sleep, a pillow clutched firmly in his paws. Little did he know, it was 5:30 AM and he had, of course, woken up his trying to sleep roommates, Ravenpaw and Graypaw.
Ravenpaw's eyes twitched horribly, glaring and scowling at his new found friend. "Graypaw, what is he dreaming about?" Ravenpaw asked through gritted teeth. The apprentice was still fighting back the urge to horribly maim the sleeping tom.
"I'm thinking something along the lines of either: a.) Raping Yellowpaw b.) Courting Yellowpaw, or c.) Wanting to get Yellowpaw out of her fur" Graypaw suggested. He was then promptly smacked by the apprentice who thinks the world is going to end. "Ow!" He hissed. "Can't a tom go back to sleep around here..."
"Maybe we COULD if CROWPAW! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ravenpaw yowled, inching closer when he yelled Crowpaw's name.
The apprentice then decided to start snoring while muttering stuff about Yellowpaw. Ravenpaw's eyes twitched again as he started to move towards his math notebook, whilst whistling. The apprentice outstreched a black furred paw and gently grabbed the notebook, walking back towards Crowpaw.
"Wha?" Graypaw asked, turning his head to the side. Ravenpaw flicked a wrist at him and raised the notebook high above his head. Graypaw straightened out his head and chuckled, now he understood, and if Crowpaw was STILL sleeping after that, let's say he'd be waking up next and wouldn't go back to sleep either.
Ravenpaw's eyes gleamed maliciously, and with one final movement, he brought the notebook crashing down on Crowpaw.
Things never went the way Crowpaw liked it. Ashfoot had sent him to Warrior High, Starclan's Learners was officially gay, Nightcloud and Tigerstar hated him, he was dreaming about making out with Yellowpaw, and now, he was wide awake, claws latched in the ceiling and he had notebook imprints in face. And directly below him, Graypaw and Ravenpaw were smiling evilly up at him.
"That's not funny guys!" He whined. Ravenpaw snorted.
"Sure it is, while you're dreaming about your sexual fantasies with Yellowpaw, we are trying to sleep. So then our good little buddy Ravenpaw gets the bright idea to smack with you with a notebook. Rather brilliant if you ask me" Graypaw said cheekily. This time Crowpaw got to snort.
"And besides, if we can't sleep, then you won't either. And we have two hours till school starts so you better go get some coffee or something" Ravenpaw added.
Crowpaw slightly growled at his friends, retarcting his claws only to fall on his bed. "Oh crap..." He muttered when he saw Ravenpaw's eyes widen to the size of the moon. "I knew I shouldn't have done that" He cursed himself.
Ravenpaw inhaled deeply and:
"THE WORLDS GOING TO END! AN EARTHQUAKE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CROWPAW FELL FROM THE CEILING! WHY MUST THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME!?" He screamed, not yowled, yes, screamed my dear readers.
Graypaw watched Ravenpaw run around in circles before padding over to Crowpaw's side. "I'll bet" He sighed.
"Me too, I say 10 minutes?" He guessed. Graypaw shook his head.
"Nah, I say 30" He replied. "Deal?" Crowpaw shrugged his shoulders.
Crowpaw's eyes watched the steam roll off the top of his coffee. His paw trembled as he brought the mug to his mouth and set it back down gently. Yes, now he'd only have to wait twenty more minutes before he could get ready for school and then get back to the dorm, and CRASH out.
"Hey Graypaw, Did Ravenpaw wake up from his concussion from running into Hawkpaw and Dustpaw's door yet?" Crowpaw asked. Garypaw looked at him and shook his head.
Crowpaw frowned a bit when he found his blue eyes traveling over to Ravenpaw's limp form. "Poor guy..." Crowpaw could silently feel Graypaw's amber eyes burning into his gray - black fur. "But, I suppose that's what he gets for screaming 'the worlds going to end' all the time and running around like Cinderpaw on weed"
"Hey, don't be dissin' weed like that. Do you know how hard it is to make the money to pay Stonerfur for it?" Graypaw asked with a challenge to his tone.
"No. Lemme guess, you steal the money from Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Hollypaw, Leafpaw, Cody, and Molepaw?" Crowpaw sighed. Crowpaw smirked when he heard a small 'hmph' come from Graypaw, which was shortly followed by a crossing of paws.
"Maybe..." He muttered.
"Well good, because if I know Tornear and Ashfoot, they'll probably give all my lunch money and dorm money to my little brother and sister, Duskkit and Arrowkit"
"You have a brother and sister?" Graypaw asked, his mood lightening up a bit.
"Yeah, they go to a different school. I have another brother named Eaglekit, but nobody knows what happened to him because he was mentioned in 'Fire and Ice' in the prologue and the mysteriously disappeared. Ashfoot didn't really act like she scared though" Crowpaw explained.
"What's Fire and Ice?" Graypaw asked. Crowpaw shrugged.
"I don't know, some book that Erin Hunter wrote that seemingly follows our serious lives. Guess what? They even know what my name will be!" Crowpaw yowled dreamily.
"Really? Then what is it?" Graypaw grinned.
Nearby, actually by Graypaw's hindpaws but the authoress wants to make it 'nearby, Ravenpaw was stirring. The black apprentice raised his head, dazed and muttering random words. "My mother, I say, what happened?" He slurred. Crowpaw motioned to Ravenpaw with his eyes to Graypaw.
"Nighty night, Ravenpaw" Graypaw smirked and whacked Ravenpaw with a ruler.
The apprentice, once again, collapsed on the floor, muttering more random words, and then fell with an audible 'thunking sound. "Uhh... Graypaw, you do realize he has to go to class, right?" Crowpaw inquired.
"Yes, I do REALIZE that but do I CARE about that? Not really" He replied, flicking a loose piece of Ravenpaw Fur of his 'beautiful' fur. "Anyway, what is your name going to be again?" He asked, going back to their previous discussion.
"I don't know! The book store only had Fire and Ice! They said I couldn't read any others or else they would have to deal with major problems like OOC and cats knowing their destiny and stuff..." Crowpaw mumbled. "Rather stupid if you ask me" He added with a growl.
"Well, shouldn't we be getting ready for school or something?" Graypaw asked with one more look at Ravenpaw's limp form. "Ya know Crowpaw, in the short time I've known you--" Graypaw stopped and started breaking out in tears.
"Uhh... what?" Crowpaw asked a bit skeptical. Graypaw got up and made his way over to Crowpaw where he rest a hand on his shoulder, burying his muzzle into Crowpaw's fur. "erm..."
"-- I have to say, YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND I COULD EVER ASK FOR!" He sobbed loudly.
"Are you feeling okay-- wait a second, you got into the crack again didn't you?" Crowpaw asked with a frown. Graypaw instantly stopped sobbing and looked up at him with an eager expression.
"Crack? WHERE!" He yowled. The gray apprentice flung himself off Crowpaw's chair and started on a rampage around the room to look for crack, or anything else he could get high off of. Crowpaw wasn't even about to say that they had about 10 minutes left until they had to get to school. "Aww.. tehre's no crack..." He sighed.
"Just come on!" Crowpaw growled. The gray furred apprentice marched up to Graypaw and grabbed him by his scruff and started to haul him out of the dorm.
"But what about Ravenpaw?" Graypaw questioned, making Crowpaw stop at the door.
"I don't know, leave him right there... I guess" Crowpaw shrugged. Graypaw shrugged with him and started along with the walk to the gym, where they could have some time with Firepaw, Sorrelpaw, and Cinderpaw, without Mr. The Worlds going To End.
"Where's Ravenpaw at?" Sorrelpaw asked as soon as Graypaw and Crowpaw walked to their spot in the bleachers. Crowpaw shared an uneasy glance with his newfound friend.
"Uhh... let's just say... he ran into a door. I think you would know why" Crowpaw told the tortoiseshell. Sorrelpaw smacked her forward and muttered something about the world not going to end and Ravenpaw being the most retardest (Is that even a word??) cat she had ever known.
"Raven. Paw. Retard" Firepaw said in a low monotone.
Crowpaw decided he'd had enough of standing and padded over to sit beside Sorrelpaw and Firepaw, Graypaw sitting a bleacher below him and Cinderpaw to his left. "So Sorrelpaw, Firepaw, Crowpaw, watch this" Graypaw said with a wink.
"Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy! Why you didn't say my name!?" Cinderpaw demanded.
"Because, you're the youngest" Graypaw smirked and padded away.
"Oh Starclan, there he goes, flirting again with Minnowpaw..." Sorrelpaw sighed.
"Does he always do that?" Crowpaw asked. Cinderpaw, Firepaw, and Sorrelpaw all looked at him like he was crazy or something.
"Well duh! Everybody here knows that Graypaw can't talk to a she cat without asking them out. Usually, he gets kicked down the bleachers or beat up by said she cats boyfriend or brothers." Cinderpaw explained. Crowpaw nodded and looked back at Graypaw. The gray furred student turned back to Crowpaw with a wink and turned around to Minnowpaw.
"Here we. Go" Firepaw sighed.
Crowpaw rolled his eyes and turned to see what could be SO horrible about Graypaw flirting. It wasn't like he wasn't handsome or anything, it was just that... besides being a crackhead, he was also, a she - cat --anizer. In other words, he was always scoping out she cats for a future mate.
"I don't see what's so bad about him flirting" Crowpaw shrugged. Sorrelpaw marched up to Crowpaw, grabbe his head, and yanked it around so he could see Graypaw.
Although he couldn't hear what was being said, Crowpaw understood what was going on when he saw Minnowpaw hiss and kick Graypaw down the bleachers. "Poor guy" Firepaw mumbled, staring at his razor very temptingly.
"Stay away from me you ugly, fucking, perverted son a bit--" Minnowpaw suddenly found her mouth cupped by one of her friend's paws.
"Ah hem, the language, Minnowpaw" She reminded her friend. Crowpaw snorted in amusement when he saw Minnowpaw watching with a satifactory grin as Graypaw continued to roll down the bleachers.
"So, while we wait for Millie to come and declare if he has broken anything, I say we get to class" Sorrelpaw suggested.
Crowpaw turned back to face Sorrelpaw and shrugged. "Sure... why not?" He asked. Firepaw and Cinderpaw shrugged and stood, collecting their belongings. "Come on Graypaw!" Crowpaw called to his friend. Crowpaw's whiskers twitched when he watched Graypaw stumble to his paws and clumsily run to his friends.
"Now! To the DFH's class!" Cinderpaw proclaimed.
Bluestar's voice rang about the classroom, starting with the morning announcements. "Hello and welcome to the first real day to Warrior High. I am Bluestar, head principal. Today, we'll start off with something from Brokenstar. he says any of you interested in joing the Warrior High Wolves mouse ball team, to go meet him on the track field after school. Sixth through seniors only"
Crowpaw turned to see Stormpaw and his friends, Bramblepaw, Foxpaw, Thornpaw, and a few others nodding their heads to each other, Sandpaw looked pleased.
"From Graypool, head of the cafeteria, today we will be serving roast beef, potatoes, some steamed sushi, and pears on the side. Drinks can be purchased at the drink machine down the hall. Smoky and Nightstar, two of the janitors, would like to tell everybody that the south wing, around Clovertail's classroom, the floor will be getting polished and cleaned today so please stay off of it. There is a passage way to left where you can walk."
Graypaw had a malicious smirk appear on his face.
"And our final announcement, teachers, their will be a staff meeting after school hours, have a nice day"
Nightcloud stood in the front of the class, going up and down her roll. With an irritated sigh, she clicked her pen and set it down. "Well, seeing as today is Thursday, I think that you all can get homework, especially you Crowpaw and Graypaw" She sneered, glaring directly at two said students.
"THAT IS NOT FAIR!" Sandpaw whined from behind Crowpaw.
Crowpaw swore for a second he was going deaf as the she cat moved forward to scream. "Damn... cat gotta loud mouth" He muttered. Crowpaw's crystal blue eyes found their way back to Nightcloud who was smirking.
"Instead, I think only Crowpaw and Graypaw should get homework. After all, I don't like them" She grinned again. Crowpaw felt his fur start to boil and he could literally see Graypaw itching to tear off Nightcloud's ears with his claws.
"Bitch" Graypaw muttered instead. Nightcloud frowned and looked down at Graypaw.
"Mr. Thunder, if you continue to use that language, I will send you to Bluestar's office" She threatened. Crowpaw laughed to himself when he saw Graypaw lean back in his chair and cross his paws, a smug grin plastered across his gray - furred face.
"Do it" He replied.
"You wanna watch me?" She dared.
"Go, I bet you won't" He retorted.
"Fur ball" Nightcloud shot back.
"Is that the best you've got?" Graypaw sneered. From somewhere behind Crowpaw, he heard one of the nerds mumbling stuff about Graypaw was going to get in trouble.
"No, it's all right here--" Nightcloud snarled, approaching Graypaw with her teeth bared.
In an instant Swiftpaw and Talonpaw leaped from their seats and were restraining Nightcloud by her fur. "Haha! Can't do anything now can you bitch?" Graypaw taunted. Nightcloud's eyes were starting to turn a demon - like red, and of course, Crowpaw swore that she was wearing the devil's, wife's, wedding ring.
"Quick! Get the radstick!" Sorrelpaw exclaimed from her seat. Crowpaw leapt from his desk and raced to go find the nearest said yardstick to beat Nightcloud over the head with. Harepaw, one of the nerds, reached for it only to have his paw smacked by Crowpaw as the apprentice grabbed ahold of it.
Crowpaw raised the yardstick high above his head and started a victory dance. "I have-- RETURNED!" He announced. Somewhere in the back of the class, another apprentice let out a cat call, turned out, it was Owlpaw, Shortwhisker's mansleeper.
"Quick! Whack her!" Talonpaw cheered Crowpaw on.
"I'm... com... in!" Crowpaw stuttered, trying to add a dramatic effect to it. His paws thudded against the class floor, his heart in his throat and his breathing hard. Crowpaw's tail flapped in the wind while the yard stick was held out ot his right like a weapon. "Almost... there..." He started panting now.
Sweat was dripping off his left flank and his usual gray black fur was now a dark blackish brown color. His paw pads felt like cracking and he could have sworn he was turning only twelve feet into five miles.
-Music DJ scratching sound insertion-
"Will you please stop it with all the dramatic effects?" Whitepaw asked, looking up at the authoress through her computer and wordpad and staring at Alyson like she was some weird person who has no life.
"Just one more" The authoress replied in a sly tone that didn't sound in the least bit sly.
-Back to the Fanfiction world and out of the OOC world also known as Earth that has multiple wars going on that involve guns, lots and lots of high powered rifles-
Crowpaw was now on the classroom floor, dragging his hindpaws along the polished white, dusty, floor. "Almost... there" He said exhaustedly. He reached out the yardstick slowly and handed it to Swiftpaw. "Take... it" he rasped afterwards and then collapsed, and promptly died.
"HEY!" Sorrelpaw shouted. "I thought this was a humor fic? Don't kill him or the reviewers won't have anything to say and they'll be pissed off at you!"
"Sorry then, pretend all the crap about Crowpaw dying never happened. Nightcloud got whacked with a yardstick and got knocked out. Then, Hawkpaw and Dustpaw decided to throw a party, but it was soon crashed when NIghtcloud came back which by then, there was only 10 minutes left of their class. Happy"
- Back to teh fiction-
"ESSAYS! ESSAYS! ESSAYS! ESSAYS! ESSAYS! ESSAYS!" Nightcloud screamed at her class. Crowpaw, Graypaw, and a few others started snickering, casting a small glance at the broken yardstick which was lying in two at Nightcloud's hindpaws.
The black she cat walked impatienty, up and down each row, handing out essays to all the students except for Sandpaw and her friends, of course, they were her 'pets' who were right in everything they did.
The she cat strutted back to the front of the class. "Now, for those of you who have homework, it'll be page 7,385,007,398, numbers 284 all the way to 9,284. I want each problem worked out, with proof of work, and put into every language you can think of. Then, I want you to write a WORD form of the problems, and after you're done with that, I want you to tranlate it for other clans and countries" Nightcloud stopped when she saw Thistleclaw raise his paw. "What?" She spat in disgust.
"What's a country?" He asked. Nightcloud stood before him and scratched her head.
"Err... I don't really know, BUT DO IT ANYWAY!" She yowled, causing a few students to duck or flinch.
"Whatever" Thistleclaw snorted, his nose ring flipping upwards. "I'm leaving. This class sucks ass anyway" He growled and stood up, slinging his items across his back in a movement of disgust. Crowpaw's eyes shifted over to the clock, 5 minutes left. Then, he found himself looking at Nightcloud, her jaw dropped all the way to the floor.
A couple of students whispered amongst themselves when Hawkpaw and Dustpaw got up. "Thistleclaw has a point" Dustpaw sneere and followed Hawkpaw out the door.
One by one, the students started to exit the classroom, leaving behind, a VERY pissed off Nightcloud. The black she - cats tail lashed back and forth and she started to mutter things. Crowpaw then turned to Graypaw as he started packing up his items. "Hey Graypaw, I just realized something, we left Ravenpaw in the dorm"
"Oh well" Graypaw replied. Crowpaw shrugged and headed out the door with the class.
Groans, hisses, and curses were thrown at each other as Sasha's second period class entered, nobody had yet noticed Ravenpaw's absence yet. But of course, Graypaw, Crowpaw, Firepaw, Cinderpaw, or Sorrelpaw weren't going to say a word about it.
"Hello class-- HAWKPAW! OMG! YOU LOOK SO HOT TODAY!" She squealed, her eyes fluttering. Hawkpaw smirked and leaned back, flexing his paws.
"Yeah, I did do some time in the gym" He boasted. Sasha literally fell head over heels, stumbling the whole way towards his desk. Sasha leapt up on his desk and spread out one leg.
"OH STARCLAN! Please, for the love of your class! Keep it PG13 in here!" Crowpaw shouted, shielding his eyes from Sasha. A small smack was heard from Stormpaw's direction, possibly, from being smacked by Sandpaw or one of her friends. Sasha mumbled a few things and hopped off of Hawkpaw's desk, and started walking to the front of the classroom.
"Okay... I think for today, we'll start by reading Burning Roses, Silver Thorns" Sasha said. "Last year, you ALL should have read Every Rose Has Its Thorns. So now, we'll be reading the sequel"
A few moans scattered across the classroom, Thistleclaw even throwing his shredded book at the teacher. Sorrelpaw raised one paw. Sasha turned to see the she cat. "Yes, Sorrelpaw?" She asked in an obviously - not - so - innocent tone.
"Uhh... do we have to? Why can't we read Guardian of the Moon Tree or The Salvation Flame?" She asked. Crowpaw and Graypaw snickered a bit. "I mean, do we HAVE to read about to cats having a forbidden love when we could be reading about some cat named Fireheart trying to stop a randomly named cat, Tigerstar, from taking over Thunderclan and joining up with another randomly named cat, Scourge, when another cat named Sandstorm dies?"
Sasha's jaw dropped.
"Or we could be reading about some cat making a promise and the Moon Tree?" She asked again. Sasha's golden, tabby paws scuffled against the class floor a bit nervously.
"Uhh... the lesson plan says we have to learn... why medicine cats should never take a mate, no matter handsome they may be or no matter how many times you get raped by a cat named Flamesoul. And besides, we'll be reading those two later in the year, next week, we'll be reading Silverfang, so quit complaing" sasha ordered.
The classroom quieted down a hair. "Now open up your books to page 284" She said, taking out her own book. Needless to say, all the reading books were quite long, exceeding over 10,000 pages in length because of the really long stories that were kept in them. Crowpaw bordily flipped through his book, looking at the cover of the book which was the school.
"Cursed place..." He heard Thistleclaw mutter from the back of the class.
Crowpaw kept flipping through the book when he arrived at said page. In bright, forest - green letters it said ' Burning Roses, Silver Thorns', written by T. Roxie .I and illustrated by somebody named Tainted Shadow Watcher. The cover of the book showed a ginger she cat sitting on her haunches, staring coldly at a gray tom, her green eyes showing tension.
In the back of the she cat, it showed a flame colored tom leaping in the tall grass to meet up with her. Crowpaw yawned. Why did he always get stuck with the boring or semi - retarded teachers? Sasha's voice was what stirred him from his thoughts. "Class, I want you to all flip through the first few pages to get an idea of what it's about" She said.
Crowpaw nodded towards her and obliged. He used his paw and turned the page to see a picture of Thorntail talking a she cat, Crowpaw guessed it was Rosethorn or some other cat. He cast a glance to see Graypaw yawning and flipping to the end of the book, whilst muttering things about some cat named Flamesoul needing to die already and quit raping Rosethorn.
Crowpaw stayed there, flipping through some more pages before he started to read, it was his golden tabby, teacher's voice that stirred him from his train of thoughts. "Now, who would like to read first?" She asked.
The class all shifted glances around with each other. "Don't make me call names, but not Hawkpaw" She said with a wink to the ice blue eyes, tabby pelted apprentice. The class still didn't do anything. "Fine, Thistleclaw, since you just LOVE sixth grade, you read" Thistleclaw growled to himself and started to read.
In a sneery - ish voice, he started: "The dark, ginger-coated tom curled his tail in delight, as he rested his cruel and malicious eyes on her. "It's okay, Rosethorn. I won't hurt you," he purred, his voice so smooth and sweet – like honey- and Rosethorn almost gagged as she backed away from the big, broad-shouldered tom. Well that's stupid... I bet my muscles are bigger than his" Thistleclaw sneered.
"You wish" Hawkpaw retorted. Thistleclaw glared at him."Whatever" Hawkpaw sneered.
"I'm skipping that crap" Thistleclaw growled and scanned down the page a bit more. "The kit fell to the earth – and it amazed Rosethorn that even though Spottedlight was going through another spasm of pain for another kit, she somehow was able to use her tail to urge the young kitten towards her, and then was able to lick the kit until it began to breathe. Once it had air in its lungs, it instantly began to mewl for milk. What kind of kit falls to Earth?" Thistleclaw asked.
"By now, I would think you would know this story from heart since you obviously fail every year..." Sasha muttered.
Crowpaw snorted and nudged Graypaw in the side. His gray furred friend turned to him. "What?" Graypaw asked, the long, solid, gray stripe down his back moving along with his spine everytime he would move.
"Thistleclaw isn't really that smart is he?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw shrugged and raised his paw. Sasha turned and looked at him, and pointed for him to speak.
"Does it hurt having kits? I mean you're having something the size of Tigerstar's head being shoved through your va--" Graypaw instantly found himself tackled to the ground by Crowpaw, Sasha and the rest of the class laughing at the gray furred apprentice. "Wropawt, pweaz wet ofp of meep" Graypaw rasped, beneath Crowpaw's weight and through his fur.
"oops... sorry buddy" Crowpaw apologized, stepping off his friend. Graypaw got back to his paws, rasping out a few curses, most directed towards: Hawkpaw, Sasha, and Crowpaw. Crowpaw leaned a bit closer to his friend when Graypaw returned to his seat. "They still haven't noticed Ravenpaw's gone yet" Graypaw's only reply was a small shrug.
"Graypaw! Crowpaw! I want you two to return to your seats, gather your stuff. I'm moving you two. I want... Hazelpaw to switch with Graypaw and Crowpaw, you stay there" Sasha ordered. A few of the class all turned to see a gray and white she cat enter the classroom with a cream colored tom behind her and another tom, another gray and white furred tom.
Behind them entered a silver she cat, Bluestar, the school principal. "Hello Mrs. Sasha. Mrs. Daisy has decided to move her three kids, Berrypaw, Mousepaw, and Hazelpaw to Warrior High. Class, welcome them" Bluestar explained, her silver fur a bit matted.
Heh, probably a rough night with Oakheart... Crowpaw snickered in his thoughts.
Sasha's golden tabby pelt strode across the class and introduced herself to the three and directed them where to sit. "Hazelpaw, as I said before, behind Crowpaw. Mousepaw, behind Graypaw, and Berrypaw, you can go sit behind Stormpaw" She informed to the three, pointing out their new seats.
"Sasha, can you step outside for a moment?" Bluestar asked, her eyes not leaving Crowpaw.
"Sure" Sasha replied and the two she cats stepped outside in the hall.
As soon as their teacher walked out the class, all the students turned around to speak to their friends or talk to the three new kids. Graypaw turned in his desk to talk to Mousepaw. "Hey... you must be Mousepaw? Right?" He inquired. The apprentice instead gave Graypaw a dreamy sigh.
"So, Graypaw, have you ever mated with another tom?" Mousepaw asked. Crowpaw thought he saw the few brain cells Graypaw had disappear. The apprentice slowly turned around in his chair, mouthing an 'o - kay' to Crowpaw. He only chuckled instead, now Owlpaw and his friends would have another gay with them.
Crowpaw averted his gaze to Berrypaw, the cream furred tom. The tom was busil unpacking with a bored expression. No signs of weed or anything... perhaps he wouldn't be a second crackhead like Graypaw was. His expression changed when he saw Owlpaw and company staring at him, except Twig's eyes would sopmetimes travel down to certain spots.
Berrypaw shot them a warning glance, holding up a sharpened pencil for threatening.
Crowpaw then looked behind him, Hazelpaw. The she - cats eyes stared at his crystal blue ones, her head turned to the side curiously as if she couldn't figure what Crowpaw was. "Umm... hello?" Crowpaw asked a bit skeptically. Hazelpaw brightened up.
"Lyk OMG! HE LYK TALKD 2 ME!" She squealed.
Chatspeak much? He asked his inner Crowpaw.
"Erm, yes, I did say hi" He searched through his vocabulary, wondering what he could say.
"OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! A t0m lyk, talkd, 2 lyk, MEH! IN A LYK, KEWL VOICE! omg! OMG! OMG!" She squealed again. Like Graypaw, Crowpaw turned around slowly. So now, Hazelpaw, Berrypaw, and Mousepaw were:
Berrypaw seemed sane enough.
Mousepaw was gay.
And Hazelpaw used and talked in too much chatspeak.
"Wonderful, just wonderful" He told himself bitterly.
The sound of the door closing alerted the class as Sasha walked back in. "Back to the story!" She demanded, and the class all groaned and opened up their text books.
Crowpaw and Graypaw stood next to each other at their lockers. With a content sigh, Crowpaw slammed his locker shut. Below his locker, Hazelpaw was testing out her lock.
"Ha, Crowpaw! You got a chat speaker below you!" Graypaw taunted his friend. Crowpaw shot him a glare and looked down at the patchy, gray and white fur of Hazelpaw's head fur.
"Oh shut up, at least I don't have Mousepaw flirting with me" Crowpaw shot back. Graypaw frowned and dismissed it with a shrug before turning around when he started to hear murmurmings in low voices. Crowpaw turned too, only to see three cats walking down the hallways with multiple piercings, black and white fur - up on and razors of varied sizes hanging from their belts.
The goths. Emos. Emotionals. Razor Bearers. Heavy metal listeners. Firepaw's seemingly distant cousins and kin. But, mostly known as: THE GOTHS. Inevitably, it actually stood for: 'Get Off The Heroin, meathead' The goths consisted of: Ashpaw, Brightpaw, and Jaypaw.
Surprisngly, Firepaw used to be with them until he got a top quality razor and never told them where he bought it. Yes, they do have problems. So of course, young Firepaw decided to go join Graypaw, Cinderpaw, Sorrelpaw, Ravenpaw, and newly new friend, Crowpaw.
"Erm, Crowpaw? Come on, we have to get to P.E." Sorrelpaw interupted his thoughts by waving a tortoiseshell furred paw in front of his face. behind her, Cinderpaw, Firepaw, and Graypaw all stood waiting.
"Ravenpaw still didn't come?" Crowpaw asked. Sorrelpaw nodded her head in 'no' fashion. "Oh well" Crowpaw shrugged. With a sigh from Firepaw, the friends all started their trek to the gym where Tigerstar awaited them.
Tigerstar scanned up an down his roll list and set it down. "Well, seeing as everybody's here, I think I can say that today, we will be learning about drug dealing. So I have brought Stonefur of seventh grade here to teach you all how to get marijuana, crack, coke, and weed at a fair price without getting ripped off" Tigerstar explained.
All the nerds, preps, and health freaks looked a little concerned, especially Owlpaw, he being a health freak along with Shortwhisker.
Entering through the gym was the familiar gray - silver pelt of Stonefur, the seventh grader holding weed and crack in one paw and in the other, a book on how to drug deal and get the results you wanted from the 'beginning'. His eyes were blood shot and he staggered with every step he took, slurring a bit when he thanked Tigerstar.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEElcomeeeeee" He said a little druggedly. (Is that even a word?)
"Hello Stonerfur" All the crackheads in the class said in unison, Graypaw being among them. Owlpaw looked horrified.
"HELLO!" He said in a high/ hyper tone that could put Cinderpaw and Snowfur in the run for their money. Tigerstar walked calmly over to Stonefur and whisper something in his ear. the tom instantly regained his 'senses' and started acting normal, looking at Tigerstar every now and then. "Ah hem, as I will now go on. Remember apprentices, ALWAYS. SMOKE. CRACK. You will probably find it will be the best thing you will ever do" he started with. Sorrelpaw raised her paw. "Yes?" he asked camly.
"Erm, I thought crack was bad for you?" She asked. Stonefur started to shake his head.
"Well, whoever said that must be off their meds. CRACK IS WONDERFUL! Ask my client, Graypaw!" Stonefur exclaimed.
"Whatever" Sorrelpaw sighed.
"Anyway, as I was saying. When buying crack, weed, marijuana, or anything like that, ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS, ask to try it our first to see just how great it is"
"I don't think that teaching us about this is going to help in anyway during the course of our life" Crowpaw said. Stonefur and Tigerstar both smacked thewir heads.
"This is going to be a long discussion on why crack is good for you" Tigerstar mumbled. Crowpaw and Sorrelpaw both snorted in disbelief of his words.
"Whatever you say" Sorrelpaw muttered.
So of course, Stonefur went on for some time, talking about crack and other drugs when a door slammed. It alerted Tigerstar, Stonefur, and the rest of class. They all whipped around to see Bluestar enter the gym.
"TIGERSTAR!" She yowled.
"Oh shit..." He muttered and stalked off to her, in a sulkily fashion. Stonefur scampered off for the exit.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" She yowled.
Tigerstar blinked his eyelashes and looked at her innocently. "Nothing, my wumpy, tumpy too" He flirted.
"How many times do I have to tell you, I'M MARRIED" She growled, showing her wedding ring from Oakhearts to give Tigerstar proof, he had been forgetting lately that he was married to Goldenflower, then divorced her and married Sasha, only to divorce her and now was trying to get a date with Dappletail or Brindleface, who were also married.
"But--"
Bluestar raised her paw in irritance. "No buts! I want you to ask Clovertail to teach them about why they SHOULDN'T do drugs for their elective. And I mean it!" She snarled.
Tigerstar lowered his head and sulked off.