Part three. Kelly.
I guess i need a flashback to move on.
Hawaii.
Dylan watched the sunset on his mothers house mezzanine. He went here after he visited Kelly and Brandon wedding. He was not in a very good mood, he thought he lose the fight even before it started. He cameto Beverly Hills for his friends wedding, but he could not make him self to enter Casa Walsh. So he stood there and watched Kelly, then he turned around and drive to airport to take a flight to Hawaii. He felt like he was lost again. It took to much time for him to spend in hospital before he can got back to LA. And when he finally could do it, he received an invitation to a wedding. "It is not fair" he thought.
He heard the phone rang and his mother talked to someone for a short time and lied that she doesn't know where he is.
Who was it? – he asked after she hanged the phone
Brenda. She was wandering do I know where you can be, cause you changed you cell phone number and she could not find you.
If I wanted her to find me I would gave her my new number.
She said that they did not get married.
What?
She said that Brandon and Kelly did not get married, she thought that may be you are somehow connected with their decision.
I wish I would.- he said with a sarcasm
So what know?
Dylan looked at his mother instead of answering her question and that turned back to the ocean.
Dylan, I will not teach you how to live your life. It is your right to make choices in it, but son be careful what you wish for, cause you might have get it all.
That is what I need. I want it all…..back.
Iris looked at her son and shook her head. She knew that he is lost in his life, that somehow he did not believe in himself and do not believe that he could be loved and someone can need him by the side. He was lost inside his fears and that is why he was so addicted to the past. It seemed that Dylan decided to delete the last years of his life and start from that moment which was before the black line crossed his life.
-Dylan, you know that things will never be the same.
- Yes I know, that is why I need a flashback to work out my mistakes and to have all the things i had in a new, better way.
- I hope you know what you are doing.
Dreams can come true.
Beverly Hilton Hotel.
Dylan stood near the table and watched Kelly dancing with David. It was Donnas' and David's wedding. This was also the evening of his and Kelly's reunion. After almost two years of fighting and a lot of other things including the relationships with other partners they finally got together. Dylan find strange that he did not feel as exited as he thought he will, but then he thought that it is ok because it is a Donnas' and David's day and he will get a lot of moments to be exited in future. Dylan saw Val who was coming to him.
Hey, bad boy – she smiled – Wanna dance?
Why not rebel girl. – He smiled back to her.
They danced and then suddenly Val made a step back from him.
-What is wrong?- he asked
- I do not want to loose that peace which I made with Kelly before I leave. And when she saw us dancing she made that "I will kill you Val" look.
Dylan started to laugh.
-Dylan you are crazy you know it?!
-Why?
- Well… look I am sorry if I will be rude and if my words will hurt you but you know MacKay I am not sure that you did truly loved someone…ever, may be except your wife and now you get yourself into connection which failed for numerous times in the past. Yes, Kelly- beautiful, smart, blah, blah, blah. Everybody loves her. Well, maybe not everybody. It's funny when you think about everything that she has. You know, I think that Brandon's always loved her even before they started going out.Sorry that I brought him back, my point is she yawns and happens to flash some teeth and guys thinks she's smiling and just kind of fall to her feet. She's said a lot of things that destroyed me but nobody calls her a pregnant dog. I guess she's being constructive in her criticsm. People say I hate her. I don't, but she bugs me and I am worried about you, believe it or not you are my friend and I care for you.
Dylan laughed once again.
You will never change Val. But you know some things also never change as me and Kelly, so I guess it is time for everyone including us to admit it and finally to work the things out. So me and Kelly are back together for good.
After his answer they dance in silence for I while. But one thing bothered Dylan. Val's line "I am not sure that you did truly loved someone…ever" reminded him about another girl in his life. Gina. He remembered how she yelled on him in her hotel room when he was trying to get her back after they broke up for the second and the last time. Gina said almost the same words. At that moment in past he did not feel anything except he felt helpless to convince her that he really did care for her, but now…now he suddenly felt hurt, but not from the Val's words. He felt hurt from the memories, he felt hurt from Gina's words. If Gina was here tonight, he would came to her and said that it is not true, that he was in love with…Dylan stopped him self. He was in love with Kelly, they finally get together and there is no place for other memories and story lines in his life anymore. And he convinced himself that he did not missed Gina, he just not get used to the fact that she is not around as usual, anymore.
The song was over and before leaving Val smiled to him.
I hope you know what you are doing.
Thank you for your care Val. You are really a good friend of mine. But don't worry I'll be fine. – Dylan replayed and gave her a friendly kiss to a cheek.
Dylan walked back to the table where Kelly was already waiting for him.
What were you two talking about? – she asked.
Val gave me some ideas to where I can run with you to hide from the others for a couple of days or may be weeks. – he answered. – Would you mind if we leave now?
Not at all.
You
can't run from your self there is nowhere to hide…
Peach
Pit.
Dylan entered the café and smiled to Nat.
-May I have a really strong coffee?
-Sure, my boy. – Nat answered. – Tough morning?
- Don't ask- Dylan tried to keep smiling.
- Yes, I know. Family life is not a bed of roses. – Nat walked away to get some coffee.
- It is not even a rollercoaster. – Dylan added.
It was almost year and a half past since the moment when he and Kelly got back together. But his life was colored in grey and blue colors more than usual. He had his business in After Dark with David and Nat, he had a lot of work in the Youth centre and Danna's internet page also made a lot of money for him. He was young, rich and absolutely bored guy…again. Well actually he had Kelly in his life. They finally started to live together couple of months ago, but it did not helped. Honestly things were not bad. He had a great girlfriend they had a perfect glamorous relationship but he felt that something is missing in his life, something very important which will made his life complete. And it was not about having fun or fill his life with surprises, he though that it is alright that he could count and foresee Kelly's each "new" idea, her answers and her wishes, he thought it is one of the best parts in their relationship because it was safe and may be it is what people call – mature relationship. They are not kids or teen any more. But why then he feels so bored and so old sometimes? Why does he feel like his heart is missing something? He doesn't had an answers to it. He used to think that it is not a big deal, but during the last time things and feelings were getting worse and this morning was not an exception.
Kelly suggested that they should spend some time together somewhere far enough from Beverly to get some fresh emotions to their relationship. He suggested to make a trip to Las Vegas or to Florida, may be Hawaii (visit his mom) next month, but Kelly insisted that they should go this week-end although she new he could not do it because he promised to Nat to help him with a new charity project for the kids. So he suggested that may be she will agree to wait until next month is he will offer her Paris, but she blamed him for being selfish yelled that she is not one of his cheep ex's and run from beach apartment.
Here you go, strong, black coffee. I hope it will help you to clear your mind.
Thank you Nat.- Dylan replayed.
The door bell rang and Dylan saw Donna entered the place.
Dylan, hey – she smiled to him
Hey there Mrs. Silver
It is so sad that you and Kelly are not coming with us. I know that you had a common past with my sister, so did David but all of us moved over it any way we going to miss you and Kel in New York. But is so nice from you to go with Kelly to help her to find a material for her new project.
What are you talking about Donna? – Dylan asked in surprise.
About this week end. You and Kelly already have plans for it. It is so sad that you are not coming with us.
We are still discussing it. But where we are not going with you and how is your sister is connected to it?
Donna's cell phone rang.
Oh sorry, I'll talk to you later. – and Donna walked to the After Dark.
Dylan looked at Nat in surprise.
What a hell is going on. Do you know something about it.
Nat gave a sad look to Dylan.
You know my boy, this time I will stay out of this. I love you all, all the gang is like my kids, I'll always be here for you if you need me, but this time you should deal with it by yourself.
Dylan watched Nat walked away to bring get an order from a new client and thought that it is to much strange things for him for this morning. Dylan took a morning newspaper and started to drink his coffee. Suddenly the cup with coffee fall down from his fingers.
"SKATING STAR GINA KINCAID FINALLY SAID "YES" TO A NY CENTRAL HOSPITAL SURGERY ERIK DANE" ….the romantic wedding ceremony will be in a Central Park this week end…
Dylan felt like he is having a heart attack, there was suddenly no air to breath. He felt like someone gave him a hard hit to a stomach, like his heart was is clamped in a vice, and then is passed through a meat grinder.
Nat came to him to make sure that Dylan is alright.
How long you know about this?- Dylan asked
You've made your choice once kid. – Nat answered.
Yes I know, but still….i don't know…it feels like….
What do you feel?
Nat I do not know why but it hearts, it hearts even more than when I've heard about Kelly and Matt engagement, more than when I saw Kelly in wedding dress on her and Brandon's almost wedding. I feel robed, lost and scared. What is happening?
I don't know Dylan, I am not you. The only thing I know for sure that you can't run from yourself, there is nowhere to hide.
What should I do, I really need your advice?
I guess my boy you should ask yourself for the answer this time, but remember if you love somebody send them free.
I can't…. – Dylan suddenly stood up and walked to his car. He needed some time to think.
He drove his car to the beach and watched the ocean. Dylan knew that he knows all the answers, but he was afraid to admit it and also he was afraid that it is too late. When Nat said that if you love somebody you should send them free, he did not asked Nat how did all this connected with love, he answered that he can not do it. Dylan realized that he was in love with Gina, he just could not understand how can he hide this feeling from himself all this time? He was looking back to the past and saw all his mistakes, he saw how he hurt her and knew that he has no rights to ruin Gina's life once again. At the same time Dylan knew that he can not handle with the fact that she is getting married with another man.!! He drove to the beach apartment and started to pack his stuff, he tried to figure out what he will say to Kelly, how will he explain to her what is going on, but at the same time he was really mad on Kelly. Why did she hide the fact about Gina's wedding from him? May be she knew that he loved Gina? Wow! That would be a joke if Kelly figured it out even before he realized it.
Kelly came home late and saw the boxes with Dylan's stuff in the living room and she saw Dylan sitting on the balcony and staring at one point somewhere in horizon.
So, you know. – she said.
Yes. Why did you hide it from me?
I guess because of that. – she looked at the boxes.
And you think that after the wedding I would stay with you?
So you do not deny that you still love her?
It is not the point.
-Oh yes it is – Kelly started to scream. – You do love her, but it does not stopped you from making love with me, It did not prevent you to live with me and to plan on the joint future!!
Wait. I did not plan have plans on the joint future, you did. And you lied to me! You knew my attitudes about lying but still you did it! – Dylan replayed.
You did lied to me to!
No I didn't!
Oh really, you said you love me!
Look. I did thought that I love, I really did! I fight to be with you for two years, I was sure that I do have feelings for you and I still do. I mean I still do have feelings for you it is love, it is love for some special person. But today I realized the truth, I hide it even from my self I am in desperately in love with another woman. I am really sorry, I feel terrible and confused about it. Please Kelly do not make this thing harder.
But you said that we are soulmates, you said that we were together in our past life!
We still are soulmates, we are very special friends for each other. And about the past life I guess I told you before I do not know may be it did happened may be it didn't. Now I know only the thing that we can not live together anymore and I should run to NY and try to catch the moment before it is too late.
This conversation is not suppose to happen. – Kelly started to cry. – We were suppose to be out of LA right now, and you would found out about Gina only after her wedding…
And you think I would stayed with you after that? You think that I can forgive your lie?
Yes, because she would be lost for you forever and you would stayed with me. – She cannot stop herself and cried harder.
Dylan came close to her and gave her a hug.
You worth much more than I guy who would live with you just because it is to late to catch the other girl Kelly. You are very special woman. You know that you worth someone who is better than me. I could forgive a lie to a friend, it is hard but I will try, but I cannot forgive that kind of a lie to a woman with whom I am living. You will be happy Kelly. I promise. And you know I am right.
He kissed her goodbye and started to move out the boxes from the apartment. They haven say a word to each other until he got in the car and gave her a key from apartment.
I am really sorry Kel.
She has noded her head and whispered:
- I guess that I lost you at that day when I choose me and probably you never were mine ever again…
Dylan drove his car to a Beverly Royal hotel. When he entered a room he reserved for himself he find out that it will be hard to get some sleep tonight. The room was full of memories, he even thought than he can smell Gina's perfume. So he took a bottle from a mini bar and started to think what he could say to her to get her back. He put the radio on and there was David on air…
This song is dedicated to a friend who is having a hard time right now, I don't know if you can hear me right now and I cannot say for sure that I know how you feel right now buddie, but I hope it will help you to find your way… you still have a chance, do not lose it….
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cuz
I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven
That I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
And
all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breath is your life
Cuz sooner or later its over
I just don't want to miss you
tonight
"Thank you Silver..you're really make this night harder" Dylan thought. He looked around and remembered all that happened in the room. How did Gina got naked just to make him don't go to After Dark when she and Noah had illegal parties there, how did he made a surprise for her with a Gone with the wind movie, how did she used to hug him from the back when he was working near the table…. He went for another bottle and sat with it one the sofa, he remembered also how did he pushed her away when he rented another room for her in the hotel. "Idiot!" Dylan thought about himself….
I don't want
the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know
who I am
He also remembered how did she told him that the difference between them is that she is in love with him. "You were wrong, baby. There was no difference between us, cause I am in love with you too, but I was to scared to admit it and I still do not know how to show it to you, how to prove it.."
And
you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of
truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah
you bleed just to know your alive
Dylan remembered the moment when Gina said that he
doesn't care for her and he just answered that it is not true. Now
he understand that at that time he lost a moment to show Gina that
she was wrong, now he realized that he was scared that she might
pushed him away and prefer to run and hide instead of kissed her at
that moment. He remember how he lost the battle near the elevator
when David interrupt his apologizes to Gina. "Damm you Silver once
again" he thought. But he knew that there was nothing to do with
his friend, he knew that if he would insisted David would let them to
talk, but he didn't.
I
don't want the world to see me
Cuz I don't think that they'd
understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want
you to know who I am
"I will make you happy, girl. Please give me a
chance…." He said to Gina as she was
still in the room.