Crowpaw silently hummed to himself as he walked down the corridors...er... hallway to get to his fourth block class. On each side of him, Sorrelpaw, Graypaw, and Cinderpaw walked beside him. Cinderpaw was running up and down the halls, screaming at the top of her kitty lungs while Graypaw was aiming a well - sharpened pencil at her.
"Maybe if I hit her hard enough... maybe she'll die of lead poisoning! OH! I"M SO GOOD!" Graypaw cheered to himself and started doign the moon walk up and down the hall.
"He's never going to get anywhere in life is he?" Crowpaw asked Sorrelpaw. The tortoieshell she - cat nodded her head. "Thought so" Crowpaw added.
When Graypaw and Cinderpaw decided to stop being retarded dumbasses from Hellclan and join their friends, which was five minutes later, they arrived in the hall that led to Snowfur's classroom. The she cat stood by her door, holding it open with one paw, and welcomed the students in with a short, hyper, 'welcome' as greeting.
Crowpaw and said friends all found their respective seats along with the rest of the class. "HELLO STUDENTS AND WELCOME BACK TO MY CLASS! SORRELPAW! SINCE YOU ARE ONE OF MY GRAND DAUGHTERS, WILL YOU PLEASE SKIP THIS CLASS FOR GRANNY?" Snowfur yowled, still in her usual hyper mood.
Crowpaw raised his paw.
"YES CROWPAW?" She yowled again.
"Mrs. Snowfur, o mother of Whitestorm, daughter of Moonflower, sister of Bluestar, aunt of Mistyfoot, Mosskit, and Stonefur, and great aunt to Mistyfoot's some how unrandomly not named kits, and grand mother of Sorrelpaw, Rainpaw, Fernpaw, Ashpaw, and Sootpaw and great grandmother of Poppypaw, the reincarnated Cinderpaw and , Molepaw, Poppypaw, Honeypaw, great grandmother to Spiderleg, Shrewpaw, Birchfall, Foxkit, Icekit, Hollykit, Larchkit can we go to our next class?"
"How does he always know my weakness..." Snowfur muttered. Crowpaw and the rest of the class all shrugged and got up and left, except for the nerds.
Crowpaw once again slung his duffle bag over his back, books and everything inside, and started to walk on to lunch to get there early.
--
Crowpaw poked at his food with his fork. They called this roast beef? To him, it looked more like a steak on steroids. "Erm... Sorrelpaw, are you sure they're not trying to poison us?" He asked a little skeptically.
"I'm absolutely positive Crowpaw. All we have to worry about is-- too late" Sorrelpaw started to say until the friends all turned their heads to see Mousepaw walking towards their table. "Starclan damnit!" She cursed, which was surprisingly weird because ever since elementary, Firepaw, Cinderpaw, Graypaw, and Ravenpaw had never heard the she - cat curse.
Not.
One.
Time.
That was even if the word 'damnit' could be considered a curse.
"Hey! Can I sit by you!" Mousepaw asked cherrily, staring at Firepaw like he was a sardine in a seagull pen. Firepaw and Crowpaw were about to nod in 'no' fashion before Mousepaw spoke again. "Thanks guys!" He added.
When Graypaw came to sit, he thought that he would die from Mousepaw's endless chattering. All the apprentice did was talk about his relationship with other toms and how much he thought she - cats were sick. Particulary, he seemed to be attracted to Firepaw and would shy away from Sorrelpaw and Cinderpaw everytime they tried to talk to him.
"--So this one time! I made out with another apprentice named Coyotepaw! And I mean, he had the most beautifulest gray fur with black striped and a white muzzle! But my father, Smoky, said that if I was going to be in a relationship with another tom, I would have to move schools because me and Coyotepaw were always making out!" He said hyperly.
Graypaw coughed and snorted "Loser" Under his breath. Sorrelpaw shot him a dirty look.
"Wow... please enlighten us with your stories..." Crowpaw said borridly, twirling his sushi with a fork in his right paw. He had to admit, even the food could probably tell a better story than Mousepaw could. He could just imagine it:
--
" Salmon the sushi opened his door. "Sweetie! I'm home!" He called out, his fishy scent filling up the house's broiler. Running down the stairs came his two kids, Trout and Flounder, followed by his wife, Tuna who was holding their month old baby, Squid and Squid's twin brother, Catfish.
"Oh hello Salmon, your sister, Jellyfish, said she's coming with your neice, Koi. I think they said that your other fifty something brothers and sisters might be coming too. I definately know that Goldfish, Pihrana, Guppy, and Clownfish are coming. So how was work today?"
Salmom looked down at his steamed fins. "Just the same, one of my workers fell into the seaweed again... it took five hermit crabs to pull him out. And then one hundred thousand, twenty six of my other workers at caught in a fishing net"
"oh... hey dad! We're going play near the harbor!" Trout proclaimed loudly.
"Well, there go the last twenty eight of our used - to - be -eggs"
--
By the time Crowpaw snapped out of his thoughts, Mousepaw was telling another story. "Hey guys! Guess what? Do you need a boyfriend? Cause I think I can hook you up with some pret - ty decent toms. Let's see... I know Wolfpaw, Dingopaw, Crabpaw, Mountainpaw, Inkpaw, Oddpaw... oh! And I think that Soappaw would be just perfect for you, Graypaw!" Mousepaw exclaimed.
"I can't wait to meet him..." Graypaw sighed. Crowpaw stifled a chuckle and watched Graypaw load some corn on his fork and flick it across the cafeteria where it nailed Tawnypaw in the head. "oops" He laughed and quickly ducked down when the tortoiseshell whipped around, glaring and spitting curses.
Of course Graypaw never noticed Ashpaw, Brightpaw, and Jaypaw all pointing to him, the blind gray tom actually pointing at Leafpaw which resulted in Leafpaw getting beamed by carrots and sporks.
"So! As I was saying! Guess what? Guess who's sharing my dorm with me? Can you guess? Can ya, can ya, can ya!?" Mousepaw squealed in delight. This time Crowpaw had his chance to roll his eyes.
"Who?"
"I got, I got, I got... I don't know" Mousepaw frowned.
"Let me see your paper then" Graypaw sighed. Mousepaw turned and started to dig around in his pockets until he presented Graypaw and Crowpaw with his scedhule.
"Here" He shrugged. Crowpaw snatched the list out of Graypaw's paws and looked at it.
"You got Onewhisker and Rainfur" Crowpaw gulped. Mousepaw should feel just FINE with them too. He didn't even want to know how they would initiate him into the group, after all, the seventh graders were pretty odd about how they did stuff like that. And it was those particular events that brings our young little sixth grader's mind thinking about the students at Warrior High, back into his thoughts and out of the cafeteria.
Inside Crowpaw's thoughts:
Stormpaw. Smoky gray tom, captain of the Mouse ball team, the Warrior High Wolves, boyfriend of Sandpaw and is roomate with Foxpaw and Bramblepaw, his two best friends besides Thornpaw, Lionpaw, Cloudpaw, Breezepaw, and Brackenpaw. Most of us think that he'll be voted in high school, most likely to succeed and get all the she - cats. Others think that he'll just waste away his high school years ending up like Stonefur and Graypaw. Featherpaw's brother.
Sandpaw. Ginger she - cat and daughter of Redtail. Sandpaw Red. Being daughter of the vice principal does has it's advantages for her... like how she can get away with grooming in class... skipping class, getting out of hard or long projects and never getting SAC, Detention, ISSP, and other things. Also girlfriend to Stormpaw. Isn't she lucky?
Graypaw. Smoky gray, long furred tom. One long, dark gray stripe running down his back and loves crack. I think Sorrelpaw was telling me yesterday it was something about the way Patchpelt brought him up. I still say that his foster father, Thunderstar, wasn't strict at all. Okay, he's my best friend. Also a crackhead. But I guess he can still be sane at times. Sometimes at least... I wonder if that stash under his bed ran out yet...
Scourge. Black seventh grader who always wears what he calls' pimpage', not blingae. I guess he thinks that knmockign dogs out with your fists is the best way to get their teeth. And he is dating Spottedleaf. I guess he thinks that being top bully makes him cool oor something. I guess he also thinks that hanging out with Hawkpaw, Longtail, Dustpaw, Jaggedtooth, and Darkstripe makes him able to get what he wants from the nerds.
Longtail. Some stupid tabby tom who lives right down the hall from me, Graypaw, and Ravenpaw's dorm. I often hear she - cats yowling from his room. Do I really want to know? Oooooh... me and Graypaw might go blackmail him one day. Anyway, he's like... Scourge's right hand tom or something. I do not understand seventh graders. Why must they be like that?
Spottedleaf. My Starclan! Tortoiseshell she - cat with long fur and the biggest prep you will EVER meet, I swear, anyway, she's Sandpaw's idol. I mean, how does 'OMG! Only Spottedleaf can where STRIPES and POKA DOTS at the same time and still get all the toms!" sound like? -cough- problems -cough-
Ravenpaw. Black tom, white tipped tail. I really have no clue why he thinks the world is going to end everytime: The microwave dings, Firepaw drops something, the bell rings, paperballs hit the teacher, corn gets flicked in his eye, everytime Bluestar starts the morning announcements, and a lot of other stuff, or like whenever Graypaw took out a paintball gun he found underneath his bed and started shooting us randomly.
Sorrelpaw. Tortoieshell she - cat and forest green eyes. Probably my only sane friend. I don't understand why she always tries to comfort Ravenpaw whenever he goes into another one of his 'the world is going ot end' fases. It always gets back to normal in the next few minutes but hey, that's Sorrelpaw for you.
Mousepaw. Gray and white tom. Who the floosie does he think he is? I mean, Starclan, he's gay! And why won't he ever leave us alone? I think he has thing 'thing' for Firepaw. Maybe I should tell Mr. Emo to watch Mousepaw carefully. But, maybe being roomates with Rainfur and Onewhisker will get him to leave us alone... for now at least. Not too sure about the future either but for now, I'll just blame it on his father, Smoky, and mother, Daisy. They ARE his parents after all...
Hazelpaw. Oh Starclan, somebody please take away her computer or the internet. Does she know what 'self control' is? Obviously not, I mean how am I supposed to know what 'OMG! Lolz u r lyk zo HAWT! Even mor than mah bro!', I'm not a chatspeak translator nor sha'll I ever be one. How do Mousepaw and Berrypaw put up with her? At least I don't have to share a dorm with her...
Yellowpaw. Stupid, ugly, disgusting, inexplainable, fatass, dumbass, retard, fucktard, dumbtard, stupid load of lard who doesn't know what personal hygiene is and needs to learn the simple fact of life that toms DO NOT fall for her nor sha'll they ever because she is some stupid, ugly gray she - cat with the dullest yellow eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how I was ever able to approach her on my first day, thank Starclan Graypaw saved me from her horrific looks and told me to never, ever approach her skinny ass, bag of bones ever again. I now ask myself, on the second day os school, how I have gotten to realize just what she IS? I mean come on, she looks like some homosexual freak who could probably make Mousepaw look straight in the eyes of Sandpaw which is so hard to do I'm not even going to think about it. Bad thoughts may occur... Okay, so in high school she'll probably be voted all of the following: Most likely to not succeed, work at McMouser's, live in a trash can in a an alley way, eat garbage scarped off of Stormpaw or Spottedleaf's plates, or my personal favorite, to get shot from trying to get accepted into Silverpelt Idol or trying to get on Mrs. Starclan and actually win. Oh Starclan I think I can stop ranting about the hideous of this beast that is known as Yellowpaw. Why? WHY must Starclan not bless her with good looks that even Shortwhisker or Rainfur probably have. WHy not make her be the snobby, vain little Ivypaw who is like Sandpaw's body guard or something except she won't even touch Yellowpaw's fur because everybody knows that Yellowpaw probably has some horrible desease like a flesh eating virus or something that would devour you in seconds as if you were an exact copy of Spottedleaf except more beautiful and times fifty - seven and about point dot eight billion and one. I think she'll be lucky if she even gets a boyfriend for Starclan's sake! The only tom or toms who would probably be attracted to her would either be Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Littlecloud, Runningnose, or maybe become a bisexual and end up joining the rejects like Mousepaw, Heatherpaw, Onewhisker, Twig, Rainfur, and Willowpaw, or she could always go health freak like Shortwhisker and Owlpaw. I don't understand health freaks at all. They're too... health freakish if you get my drift. Wait, back to ruining Yellowpaw's reputation in my head. Come on, I mean who were her parents? Oh yeah, that's true, she's Yellowpaw River, daughter of stupid Riverclan leader Riverstar who dies like Starclan knows how many years ago but we're not even sure if he IS her REAL father because contrary to popular belief, we have no idea if her mom or dad is a hermaphrodite... but then again, if I went go ask her, she probably would have no clue what a hermaphrodite is... just like Eric Cartman's mom off of South Park which is 'lyk teh most awezomest show eva!' As Hazelpaw would say... I still say Hazelpaw has problems... hang on, is that the lunch bell? Wow, guess I spent more time thinking about some ugly - as - Deathclan gray she - cat than what I thought... so I think now I sha'll go off to lunch recess and go mingle with the students who I hadn't been able to meet earlier on my first day because of random reasons and plus the authoress is now wondering why she has typed this entire paragraph without spacing... maybe she just wanted to make everything look long and actually see who would take the time to read. Author note: If you read this, let me know and I'll feature your story or something in the next chapter, if you review at least, okay? I'll only do the first three people though...
End of Crowpaw's excessive line of thoughts that drug on forever until the lunch bell rang and they all walked outside for lunch recess...
--
"Who's that?" Crowpaw asked, prodding Sorrelpaw in the side with a claw. The she - cat snapped out of her thoughts and turned to look at him. "Hello? Sorrelpaw?" He inquired again.
"Wha?" She asked dazed. Then she snapped out of it. "Oh, what Crowpaw?" She asked in her usual voice. Crowpaw felt like slapping the nearest cat which happened to be a meanedering Leafpaw. He raised a paw and smacked the tabby she - cat dead across the face, causing Leafpaw to jump backwards, land on her back, and have all her books go flying in the air and have one of them smack Scourge and Darkstripe.
"Let's go" Cinderpaw butted in by grabbing both of her friend's by their scruffs and leaving Leafpaw to get beat up, even if she was a nerd.
Cinderpaw led the friends a few feet to a fence where Graypaw and Firepaw were, talking about the color black. Not to mention it was Firepaw who brought up the conversation anyway but I figured you could guess that. "Now who were you talking about?" Sorrelpaw asked once again.
"Him, that tabby tom over there" Crowpaw pointed out with a claw.
"That's just Longtail, he's a bully with Scourge and the others. His dorm is down the hall from ours... I know I wasn't the only one who heard those yowls last night..." She grumbled, thinking of what Longtail,a nd his two roomates, Darkstripe and Scourge were doing to Spottedleaf, Echosong, and Frostfur last night.
"Bad thoughts..." Firepaw said in his emo voice.
"Ya know, I agree with Mr. Emo this time" Cinderpaw interrupted. The gray apprentice was currently watch Leafpaw being held to the wall with a fist raised in front of her, being threatened for her homework. "I wonder if they know that they're in seventh grade and that we're in sixth grade"
"They don't know that. They're all dumbasses, what would you expect from them?" Graypaw asked. "Now I don't know about you all, but I'm going to my locker before Ch6t Sp33k3r gets their before me" Graypaw added but stopped when he saw the weird glances he was receiving from Crowpaw and Cinderpaw. "What?"
"Uhh... Graypaw, I have no idea what 'Ch six t space sp three three kay three rrrrr' means" Crowpaw said.
"Chatspeak you hooker!"
(A/N: The whole hooker thing is this huuuuuuuuuuuge inside joke that me and some of my friends made up at school... don't ask about it)
--
Petalnose looked over her clipboard and surveyed her class. Crowpaw sat next to Graypaw, Sorrelpaw, and Cinderpaw, not to mention that Ravenpaw was supposed to be in this class with him and Firepaw decided to skip class to go slit his wrist in the bathroom down the hall.
"Everybody's here" Petalnose said aloud. To the students of Warrior High, she was probably the only sane teacher around the school. Nightcloud, Snowfur, and Tigerstar were way out of the question.
"It would appear so" Thistleclaw remarked. Petalnose's eyes scanned over to where the tom sat, where she promptly narrowed her eyes at him.
"Thank you for that remark Thistleclaw. Now for the rest of the class, I want each and every one of you to define all the physical properties of each element on the Periodic Table of Elements" Petalnose announced.
A loud groan echosed throughout the entire class where multiple paper balls were thrown at petalnose. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all don't like this class but live with it" She replied with a smirk. Sorrelpaw raised her paw. "Yes Sorrelpaw?" She asked sweetly again.
"Umm, aren't you supposed to teach it to us first before ordering us to do it?" She asked. Petalnose raised a paw to her fur between her ears and scartched it.
"That's right. I'm SUPPOSED to teach it to you. But I don't want too. So there, educate yourselves!" She yowled and slammed three text books on the desks, causing all the sleeping personel, said personnel being Stormpaw, Foxpaw, Thornpaw, Hawkpaw, Dustpaw, and Thistleclaw who fell asleep amazingly fast.
"Starclan, you don't have to be such a bitch about it..." Dustpaw remarked, rubbin his eyes open and twitching his whiskers in annoyance.
"Live with it" Petalnose replied, this time with a playful grin which Thistleclaw promptly threw a pencil at to wipe it off. "Thistleclaw, to the office NOW!" She yowled. The tom muttered something about monkeys coming to kill her and then stalked out of the classroom. :Now class, please get on with your work" This time, Graypaw raised a paw. "Yes?"
"I can't do this work" He replied smugly.
"And why not?" She questioned.
"Because, I'm Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia " He said, trying to put on a sad look which wasn't really sad at all. It looked more like a donkey on steroids trying to fo the disco in a bikini on a Saturday night with Sandpaw with a parrot on his should humming the United States national anthem in a pink tuxedo with a wine stain on it in the shape of Houston, Texas.
"Mr. Patch, I highly doubt you are Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia" Petalnose sighed. As soon as she turned around Graypaw and Crowpaw high fived each other, only when they realized she was buzzing the office. Crowpaw, thinking fast blurted out:
"But I'm Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia too!" Petalnose turned around and promptly repeatedly pulled on the office buzzer thing. "And I have a lot more fears too!" This time, his teacher was interested.
"Like what?" She asked innocently in a not so innocent voice.
"Well... can I go visit Whitestorm about this, me and Graypaw?" He asked. Petalnose shrugged and pointed to the door.
--
"So, Mr. Patch, please start by telling me some of your phobias, and why you are afraid of them" Whitestorm started. Crowpaw was stretched out on a couch and was watching his friend act dramatical.
"Well, for one, Ablutophobia" Graypaw said and then started to get shaky. "The fear of taking of taking baths. It all started whenever I was Crowkit. Ashfoot forced me to take a bath. She tried to drown me! Everytime I would come up for air, would dunk, me again until she had to get my foster father, Tornear to tie cinderblocks around my paws to keep me down. I have been terrified ever since..." he then started to stare off into space.
"Mmm hm. Please continue" Whitestorm replied. Graypaw took in a large gulp and swallowed.
"Then, I'm also Agrizoophobia. I am deathly afraid of wild animals" Graypaw shuddered and winked at Crowpaw whenever Whitestorm turned back around.
"But aren't you a wild animal yourself?" He inquired.
"I know!" Grayexclaimed and then proceeded to cry unstoppably until he was handed a kleenex box. " I am also Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, Gatophobia, because I am afraid of cats so badly" Now this really confused Whitestorm, Crowpaw could tell by the look on the white tom's face. Instead, he mouthed an 'okay...'.
"What else?"
"Allodoxaphobia, I cannot tell you how scared I am of hearing others opinions" Crowpaw walked up to his friend and tried to comfort him, to go along with the scene. "I mean, have you ever heard that some people... want to ban abortion and others want to keep it!? I can't watch TV now..."
"One of my biggest fears is Antidaeophobia" Crowpaw told his friend. Graypaw looked up at him with red eyes.
"You... you mean it? You're afraid of ducks too?" Crowpaw nodded his head. "Hug!" And then the two proceeded to madly hug each other in a friendly way, not loveish all you pervs out there!
"Well Crowpaw, you know what I fear? I am chorlorphobia. I am afraid of the color green. That is why I have never been able to touch the walls in the cafe at the dorms. And then, I'm also Judeophobia" He then started to whimper. But this time, Whitestorm joined in.
"Really? Because... I'm also afraid of Jews..." Whitestorm mumbled. "Group hug!" He yowled, but instead, watched Crowpaw and Graypaw silently slip out of his room with ease, the two snickering the whole way. "Why do they always abandon me?!" They heard Whitestorm cry out one last time.
--
"Well, we have the rest of the time to ourselves... now what?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw put a paw to his forhead and tapped it.
"Good question... wanna go smoke crack?" Graypaw asked. Crowpaw shurgged.
"Sure" He replied, wondering why he actuallu agreed.
And so, the two friends smoked crack and weed until it was time for history class with Sharpclaw.
--
"Welcome to history class. Today, we'll be learning about George Washington, the first president of the United States of America that I have no clue if that even exist but since the textbooks say it does then we sha'll talk about it. Any questions?" Sharpclaw asked, looking around his classroom. Firepaw raised a paw.
"Who is. George. Washing. Ton?" He asked.
"George Washington... hang on, let me go pull something up on wikipedia because the authoress does not feel like going through all the trouble of looking all over the internet for George Washington. Here we go" Sharpclaw responded with. Crowpaw, Graypaw, and Firepaw all smacked their heads, Graypaw missing his head and hitting Ivypaw instead because his sense of direction was off because he was stoned.
"(February 22, 1732 – December 14, 1799 was a central, critical figure in the founding of the United States and is commonly considered the father of the American nation. He led America's Continental Army to victory over Britain in the American Revolutionary War (1775–1783), and in 1789 was elected the first President of the United States of America. He served two four-year terms from 1789 to 1797, winning reelection in 1792." Sharpclaw started and then surveyed the looks on his classes face.
"What is that supposed to mean? What's February and December?" Talonpaw inquired from his seat. Sharpclaw gave him a cold, hard stare and pulled up another article.
"George Washington was born on February 22, 1732 (February 11, 1731, O.S.),2 the first son of Augustine Washington and his second wife, Mary Ball Washington, on the family's Pope's Creek Estate near present-day Colonial Beach in Westmoreland County, Virginia.
In his youth, Washington worked as a surveyor of rural lands and acquired what would become invaluable knowledge of the terrain around his native state of Virginia. Washington embarked upon a career as a planter and in 1748 was invited to help survey Baron Fairfax's lands west of the Blue Ridge. " Sharpclaw added.
"What's Blue Ridge and Virginia?" Smokepaw decided to ask.
"Ask the authoress." Sharpclaw responded. "Now, we'll be talking about his early life so pay attention. You will all have homework tonigh so I suggest you ALL listen-- THAT MEANS YOU TOO GRAYPAW!" He yowled when he noticed the apprentice slipping Bramblepaw some marijuana.
"Electoral College elected Washington unanimously in 1789, and again in the 1792 election; he remains the only president to receive 100 of electoral votes. John Adams was elected vice president. Washington took the oath of office as the first President under the Constitution for the United States of America on April 30, 1789 at Federal Hall in New York City although, at first, he had not wanted the position."
"What?"
"The First U.S. Congress voted to pay Washington a salary of 25,000 a year—a large sum in 1789. Washington, already wealthy, declined the salary, since he valued his image as a selfless public servant. At the urging of Congress, however, he ultimately accepted the payment. A dangerous precedent could have been set otherwise, as the founding fathers wanted future presidents to come from a large pool of potential candidates - not just those citizens that could afford to do the work for free."
The class looked confused beyond belief.
"After fighting broke out in April 1775, Washington appeared at the Second Continental Congress in military uniform, signaling that he was prepared for war. Washington had the prestige, the military experience, the charisma and military bearing, the reputation of being a strong patriot, and he was supported by the South, especially Virginia. Although he did not explicitly seek the office of commander and even claimed that he was not equal to it, there was no serious competition. Congress created the Continental Army on June 14; the next day, on the nomination of John Adams of Massachusetts, it selected Washington as commander-in-chief. Washington assumed command of the American forces in Massachusetts in July 1775, during the ongoing siege of Boston. Realizing his army's desperate shortage of gunpowder, Washington asked for new sources. British arsenals were raided (including some in the West Indies) and some manufacturing was attempted; a barely adequate supply (about 2.5 million pounds) was obtained by the end of 1776, mostly from France. Washington reorganized the army during the long standoff, and forced the British to withdraw by putting artillery on Dorchester Heights overlooking the city. The British evacuated Boston and Washington moved his army to New York City."
"Pfft, as if Graypaw could remember any of that..." Crowpaw joked, nudging Graypaw in the ribs.
"Hey!"
"After retiring from the presidency in March 1797, Washington returned to Mount Vernon with a profound sense of relief. He devoted much time to farming and, in that year, constructed a 2,250 square foot (75-by-30 feet, 200 m) distillery, which was one of the largest in the new republic, housing five copper stills, a boiler and 50 mash tubs, at the site of one of his unprofitable farms. At its peak, two years later, the distillery produced 11,000 gallons of corn and rye whiskey worth 7,500, and fruit brandy"
"Wha?" Firepaw inquired.
"On December 12, 1799, Washington spent several hours inspecting his farms on horseback, in snow and later hail and freezing rain. He sat down to dine that evening without changing his wet clothes. The next morning, he awoke with a bad cold, fever and a throat infection called quinsy that turned into acute laryngitis and pneumonia. Washington died on the evening of December 14, 1799, at his home aged 67, while attended by Dr. James Craik, one of his closest friends, and Tobias Lear, Washington's personal secretary. Lear would record the account in his journal, writing that Washington's last words were Tis well."
Crowpaw raised his paw and Sharpclaw called on him. "Sharpclaw, do YOU even know what any of that crap is?" He asked with a playful smirk, one he would much expect from Sasha or Nightcloud.
"No, but the lesson plan says I have to teach it so here it is. That's enough for today, now for homework. I want each and everyone of you to do a 10,000,000 chapter and each chapter having that amount of words, essay on who George Washington was, is, everything he ever said, everything he ever wore, and how many times he had unprotected--"
"We get it!" Squirrelpaw cried out. Crowpaw could opnly imagine what his teacher was going to say next, and he really didn't want to know...
"You have the rest of this period to work on it" He finished and let the class begin.
--
Crowpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Graypaw were all quietly humming to themselves, minding their own business when all of a sudden, A GIANT CAT EATING RABBIT JUMPED OUT OF THE LIGHTS! Just kidding, they were heading towards Clovertail's classroom, the teacher who really didn't give a crap about them.
As they passed by the floor that was being redone, they heard a loud crash which made them stop. "What was that?" Sorrelpaw inquired, turning her head to the side and looking at Graypaw expectantly.
"I dunno, let's go look" He replied.
"Ohhhhhhh no, we're not supposed to even walk on that floor, much less stampede over it!" She protested.
"Suit yourself" Crowpaw shrugged and gave a curt nod to Graypaw. "Sha'll we?"
"Yes, let's" And the two strode over onto the floor, where they were only met by a black cat with a white tipped tail, a bright pink, paint covered bucket over his head and multiple peathingy feathers outlining his lithe frame, claws making a horrible screeching sound against the newly waxed floor.
"Is that Ravenpaw!?" They heard Sorrelpaw yowl, jumping up and down in her spot.
"I think so" A passing Swiftpaw muttered.
Crowpaw turned his crystal blue eyes off the tabby apprentice and looked back at Graypaw, who was following in suit of Ravenpaw. "Good idea!" He shouted and did a leap in the air, sailing over a dropped shoe which smelled oddly of Yellowpaw, and started to skate around the waxed floor.
"Hey Crowpaw!" Ravenpaw yowled, zooming past him in less than two seconds. Crowpaw turned on heel and watched him, only to not pay attention and run into a randomly placed brick wall. Ravenpaw stopped when he heard the crash and skated over to him. "Hey, if you do that again, you would be just like Cinderpaw!"
"Shut up and help me get up" Crowpaw growled and heaved himself to his paws with a grunt of effort. "Now what? We're just going to skip class and skate around an area that the floor is currently being pollished and pray to Starclan that Clovertail or Bluestar just don't happen to meander by and see us?" He guessed.
"That's the plan actually" Graypaw shouted, skating past the two. Crowpaw sighed and joined them, it turned out, by the end of the class, they had over fifty students doing what they were doing, five of which ended up with broken bones, limbs, and in some cases, missing fur.
--
Crowpaw, Ravenpaw, and Graypaw all flopped backwards on their respective beds. The three both sat in silence for a few minutes, each staring at the ceiling fan whir away. "Okay, who's going to do the homework?" Ravenpaw said, breaking the silence. Then the silence reigned for about five more minutes.
"Let's go visit Kestrelpaw" Graypaw suggested, leaning up. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw looked at each other and shrugged. "Come on" He added when it was apparent his two friends weren't to sure of his idea.
"Okay"
And with that, they all padded off to Kestrelpaw, Harepaw, and Leafpaw's dorm, only to be met by Longtail and Darkstripe.
"What are you all doing here?" Darkstripe snarled. Graypaw flicked his ears and twitched his whiskers in annoyance. Of course they didn't feel like putting up with the local retards. "Well?" He urged.
"That doesn't concern you" Crowpaw retorted with a hiss.
"Grr" Darkstripe growled. Longtail's tabby fur appeared out of the dorm next to Harepaw and company, Cody and the other nerds where Cody ran out screaming:
"The British are coming The British are coming!" She yowled down the hall until a passing Smokepaw corrected her.
"Don't you mean Longtail?" Cody stopped in her tracks and nodded before running again.
"Longtail is coming! Longtail is coming!"
"Oi, this is going to be a loooooooooooooooong night. Hey, who wants to go get something to eat?" Ravenpaw asked, ignoring the glares he was currently receiving from Darkstripe and Longtail.
"...sure" And with that, the friends all walked off to go get food.