Welcome to Warrior High! Chapter 7, a warriors fanfic

Crowpaw stared at his sleepy, black fur in the mirror. Small ruffles poked up, trailing down his back to give him the appearance of a drunk, or otherwise very, VERY hungover dragon. In fact, if he hadn't drank so much alcohol the night before, he wouldn't have been in this position.

With an outstrectched paw, he closed the bathroom door silently, careful as to not disturb the sleeping bodies of Graypaw and Ravenpaw, and returned to the mirror. He let out a large, loud yawn which revealed his long, pointed fangs. "Wow, I'm tired..." He yawned.

His blue eyes turned and gave the shower a forlorn look. "A shower." He told himself. Crowpaw yawned again and walked over to the shower. He pulled back the aqua colored shower - curtain and turned on the faucets. Instantly, cold droplets of water ran through his paws, eventually warming up.

When the water had reached Crowpaw's desired temperature, he stepped in the shower. He quickly closed the curtain and turned to face the clear water. The water streamd throughout his fur, creating small pools of water at his hindpaws. He sighed in relief and reached out for the bar of Dial soap.

Crowpaw scrubbed the soap through his unruly fur rather harshly and vigrously. Occasionally, a few bubbles popped in his eyes and he would let out a short welp. It was when he had turned the water up more, and more steam started to come, was when it happened. One of the most disturbing moments he could think of.

As it was, Crowpaw was getting down to picking out fleas that leapt off of Phoenixflight that night, it was a well - known fact that the lead singer of the band was afraid of water and soap, when he got met by a rather disturbing cat. yes, as you might not know, it was that moment that a gray and white tom shut the door to the bathroom.

Crowpaw perked up his ears to listen and could hear voices. One of them was definately Ravenpaw, and the other was certainly Graypaw. Then who was it that had entered the bathroom?

The black furred apprentice strained his ears and caught what the voices were saying. "Ya know, I think Crowpaw is in there." That was Ravenpaw's distinct voice.

"So? He gets raped by Skywatcher then he gets raped by Skywatcher then." Graypaw was next. And that was what Crowpaw was afraid of. His LOYAL, and TRUSTWORTHY FRIENDS had let SKYWATCHER in the bathroom while HE was taking a SHOWER. Not a good idea at all.

"Erm, my straightener won't turn on!" He heard the high pitched voice of Skywatcher yowl to himself. So he uses a straightener, why the heck in Hellclan would he need a straightener? Crowpaw thought. Obviously, Skywatcher must have not known he was in there. And that's exactly how Crowpaw anted it.

Nope.

No gay, freaky teacher for him. And plus, why was Skywatcher in the dorms? Then he remembered, Hawkpaw wanted to impersonate Eric Cartman and went and disabled the water supply in the teacher's wing on the west side. Knowing Redtail, he probably told the teachers to go use the students.

And oh joy.

Crowpaw.

Got.

SKYWATCHER. Of all the teachers. Not that he ahd anything against the teacher, heck, he hardly even knew him! But from what he'd heard students say, mainly the eigth graders, Tawnyspots and Featherwhisker to be exact, Skywatcher had a thing for scoping out toms.

Crowpaw then wondered is Skywatcher was deaf or something if he wouldn't be able to hear the running water, his thoughts were actually correct when it happened. Something that would scar him for the rest of his life. Skywatcher pulled back the curtain.

Yes.

Pulled back.

The shower curtain, thus, revealing a poor, wet, and semi - cat - like naked Crowpaw.

And all Crowpaw could do was:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He screamed at the top of his lungs the loudest he could.

"What the?" Skywatcher ask, baffled. It only took Crowpaw two seconds to register everything about Skywatcher:

He was gray and white. Had long fur, most of it accumulating around his neck, making him look a hippie. He was wearing a yellow, red, green, pink, purple, aqua, blue, gray, and orange tie - dye shirt that said in big, black letters: 'Toms rok my sox' as an understatement to try and be cool, when all it did was make him look gay.

Around each of his paws he wore three golden chains with hearts and rainbows, and any other cheesy icon you might want to throw in there, hangin garound it. But what shocked Crowpaw the most was when he actually grabbed Crowpaw and pinned him against the shower wall.

"You're... a tom." Skywatcher said slyly. Crowpaw narrowed his blue eyes and stared at Skywatcher.

"Yes, what did you think I was? A gay like you? No thanks." Crowpaw replied sarcastically.

"A fine looking tom too..." Skywatcher added as if he didn't hear Crowpaw the first time. Crowpaw raised his eyes skeptically. Why can't he frickin' leave me alone!? He yowled in his head.

"Get the fuck away from me!" He yowled and pushed Sjywatcher away. The tom hurridly grabbed his stuff off the counter and raced into the dorm where he found Ravenpaw and Graypaw cracking up. "What's so funny?" He sneered.

"Oh nothing. We just though that a visit from everybody's gay teacher was just what you needed." Graypaw snickered. Crowpaw folded his paws in annoyance. He was friends with WHO?

"And besides, we figured that this way, you would be able to see how weird he is. Best to lock the door and we leave." Ravenpaw said, flaunting the keys in front of Crowpaw's crystal blue eyes as if it were a mouse in leaf - bare.

"But, while we wait for nighttime. Who wants to talk about Crowpaw before he came here? Or why they were sent here?" Graypaw asked, tryign to lighten the mood that hung in the room like a shadow. "Come on, Crowpaw, you first!" He cheered. Crowpaw sighed and fell backwards on his bed with an audible thunk.

"Well... I come from Windclan--"

"Foreigner eh?" Ravenpaw said, trying to do an imitation of Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean. "Me and Graypaw, Sorrelpaw, Cinderpaw, and Firepaw are from Thunderclan. Nice to meet ya Mr. Windclanner." He smiled. Graypaw clouted him behind the ears. "ow..." He growled.

"Anyway, my parents are Tornear and Ashfoot... and I... used to go to Starclan's Learners, a private school for only WIndclanners. Well, my brother, Eaglekit, still goes there and Tornear won't take him out because he was totally against me coming here and he says he wants at least one son to grow up and get a real job." Crowpaw explained.

"You have a brother?" Graypaw asked from his bed. Crowpaw shook his head in reply.

"Is he hot!?" They heard Skywatcher's muffled voice from the bathroom. Ravenpaw got up from his bed, walked over to the now locked bathroom door, and gave it a loud kick to shut the gray and white tom up. "I like 'em when they're fiesty..."

"Eww, that damn, sick, perverted, corrupted, vile, evil, twisted, retarded, stupid, son of a bi--"

"Ah hem, Ravenpaw, the language please." Crowpaw reminded his friend. The black tom turned around, mumbling curses under his breath, his white tipped tail lashing back and forth in annoyance and irritation.

"Aww man, but I wanted to think of some clever line like the one they had on 'John Tucker Must Die'." Ravenpaw whined and crossed his paws.

"Which would be...?" Graypaw asked. Ravenpaw's amber eyes brightened up.

"You know, when that cheerleader - ish person said 'Yea, it'll be like Prime Time Tucker, asta la vista, mother fucka'. That. I think I may want to be a poet when I get older" Ravenpaw replied in a sing - song voice, fluttering around like a butterfly in the spring.

"Graypaw, you really need to STOP giving Ravenpaw marijuana or whatever it is you give him." Crowpaw sighed.

"Maybe..."

It was nighttime. Crowpaw had his elbows rested up against the window pane and stared out the window with a long, content sigh. The stars seemed to wink at him everytime one of them would burn out and come back. "Hurry up Graypaw..." He grumbled whilst drumming his claws against the pane.

His breath hit the glass, creating a mist on it in which he wrote his name in. "I'm here!" A voice behind Crowpaw poclaimed loudly.

"It's about time! You got in the darn shower about five hours ago!" Crowpaw spat. Graypaw's whiskers twitched.

"Well excuse me if I was trying to get Skywatcher away from our dorm so he wouldn't rape you. But nevermind, I guess I'll just let you get tom - raped next time!" Graypaw said humorously. This time Crowpaw's whiskers twitched. "But anyway, come on, Ravenpaw is waiting for us in the hall."

Graypaw's gray furred tail lashed back and forth. Crowpaw sighed and got up from his chair and followed. "So where to first?" He asked.

"We, today, are going to go spy on Longtail, Scourge, and Jaggedtooth. Ravenpaw says after that he wants to go rig the bathrooms in the school area." Graypaw replied. Crowpaw nodded his head and opened up the door to the hall.

Outside, Ravenpaw was waiting for them, and what they saw, amazed them. Ravenpaw was singing. And not just any song. He was singing Barbie Girl by Aqua. The black tom weaved back and forth, his white tipped tail flowing with his body as he sang:

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

You can touch, you can play
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party

You can touch, you can play
You can say I'm always yours
You can touch, you can play
You can say I'm always yours

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

And of course, after he finished the song was when he saw his friends looking at him fearfully. "Come on, Barbie, let's go-- Hi... guys" He said nervously and threw down his microphone that appeared out of nowhere. "Fancy meeeting you here, Graypaw, Crowpaw." He said, looking at one tom to the other.

"What do you mean? You were waiting for us. Now come on! Do you have the camera?" Graypaw asked.

Ravenpaw smiled cheekily and took a camera out of his random fur - pocket that too, appeared out of nowhere. "Got it covered. And it has a full battery so we can keep going alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll night long baby!" He yowled. Crowpaw sighed and cupped a paw over Ravenpaw's muzzle. "Sorry, just the impulse..."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiight." Graypaw said sarcastically. The gray apprentice turned around and bounded down the hall. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw looked at each other and shrugged, and then bounded down the hall after Graypaw. Crowpaw swore he could still hear Ravenpaw humming the Barbie Girl song.

The three friends all halted in front of the door to Jaggedtooth, Longtail, and Scourge's dorm. "Erm Graypaw, I don't think it would be such a bright idea to come in through the door and start video taping them... unless you have a death wish." Crowpaw suggested.

"Excellent idea Agent Crow!" Graypaw replied. "We'll go through the heater!"

"WE'RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE IF WE GO THROUGH THE HEATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEVER GOT TO SAY GOOD BYE TO CINDERPAW AND SORRELPAW AND FIREPAW AND MOUSE-- wait, not Mousepaw, anyway, AND MOMMY AND DADDY AND BROTHERY AND SISTERY AND COUSINY AND UNCLEY AND AUNTY AND--"

Crowpaw raised a fist and knocked him dead across the face.

"Thanks, I needed that." Ravenpaw sighed and brushed off an invsible piece of dirt. "So, where's the heater again?"

"This way." Graypaw stated and pointed up above their heads. "This heater runs through every dorm, bathroom-- and yes Hawkpaw, I said bathroom too," Graypaw said to a passing Hawkpaw. The tabby nodded and snickered evilly before running down the hall screaming Dustpaw's name.

"Excellent idea Graypaw, now how do we get in it?" Crowpaw asked smartly.

"Like this." Graypaw replied smugly and picked up Cody and through her at the vent. The she - cat fell to the ground with a thunk and was knocked out. "You get Harepaw and Kestrelpaw. Only together can we get past this barrier!" He announced in a not - so - heroic voice.

"Right." Crowpaw replied and grabbed the now screaming Harepaw and Kestrelpaw and started to throw them at the vent. Ravenpaw resorted to throwing the well known tabby, Leafpaw.

So after twenty minutes of apprentice - nerd - throwing at the vent, it finally was loose enough and one more throw, this time using Ravenpaw since Harepaw got knocked out, the vent fell and the trio leaped in. Crowpaw looked over his shoulder at the limp bodies of the nerds and frowned. He quickly grabbed the cover and put it back.

They could later blame it on Talonpaw or Shrewpaw if they pleased...

"Aw, guess what? If we wanted to, we could go sneak in Yellowpaw's dorm. I hear she shares it with Hazelpaw and Gorsepaw. By the way, Crowpaw, what WERE you dreaming about the other night?" Graypaw asked.

"Erm... just what a Stupid, ugly, disgusting, inexplainable, fatass, dumbass, retard, fucktard, dumbtard, stupid load of lard who doesn't know what personal hygiene is and needs to learn the simple fact of life that toms DO NOT fall for her nor sha'll they ever because she is some stupid, ugly gray she - cat with the dullest yellow eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how I was ever able to approach her on my first day, thank Starclan Graypaw saved me from her horrific looks and told me to never, ever approach her skinny ass, bag of bones ever again. I now ask myself, on the second day os school, how I have gotten to realize just what she IS? I mean come on, she looks like some homosexual freak who could probably make Mousepaw look straight in the eyes of Sandpaw which is so hard to do I'm not even going to think about it. Bad thoughts may occur... Okay, so in high school she'll probably be voted all of the following: Most likely to not succeed, work at McMouser's, live in a trash can in a an alley way, eat garbage scarped off of Stormpaw or Spottedleaf's plates, or my personal favorite, to get shot from trying to get accepted into Silverpelt Idol or trying to get on Mrs. Starclan and actually win. Oh Starclan I think I can stop ranting about the hideous of this beast that is known as Yellowpaw. Why? WHY must Starclan not bless her with good looks that even Shortwhisker or Rainfur probably have. WHy not make her be the snobby, vain little Ivypaw who is like Sandpaw's body guard or something except she won't even touch Yellowpaw's fur because everybody knows that Yellowpaw probably has some horrible desease like a flesh eating virus or something that would devour you in seconds as if you were an exact copy of Spottedleaf except more beautiful and times fifty - seven and about point dot eight billion and one. I think she'll be lucky if she even gets a boyfriend for Starclan's sake! The only tom or toms who would probably be attracted to her would either be Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Littlecloud, Runningnose, or maybe become a bisexual and end up joining the rejects like Mousepaw, Heatherpaw, Onewhisker, Twig, Rainfur, and Willowpaw, or she could always go health freak like Shortwhisker and Owlpaw. I don't understand health freaks at all. They're too... health freakish if you get my drift. Wait, back to ruining Yellowpaw's reputation in my head. Come on, I mean who were her parents? Oh yeah, that's true, she's Yellowpaw River, daughter of stupid Riverclan leader Riverstar who dies like Starclan knows how many years ago but we're not even sure if he IS her REAL father because contrary to popular belief, we have no idea if her mom or dad is a hermaphrodite... but then again, if I went go ask her, she probably would have no clue what a hermaphrodite is... just like Eric Cartman's mom off of South Park which is 'lyk teh most awezomest show eva!' As Hazelpaw would say... I still say Hazelpaw has problems... hang on, is that the lunch bell? Wow, guess I spent more time thinking about some ugly - as - Deathclan gray she - cat than what I thought... so I think now I sha'll go off to lunch recess and go mingle with the students who I hadn't been able to meet earlier on my first day because of random reasons and plus the authoress is now wondering why she has typed this entire paragraph without spacing... maybe she just wanted to make everything look long and actually see who would take the time to read she is" Crowpaw replied after thinking that the authoress just went back and copy and pasted that entire paragraph from an earlier chapter..

Graypaw and Ravenpaw stared at him wide - eyed.

"Dude, you have way too much free time..." Graypaw replied, breaking the silence. Crowpaw shrugged and then started crawling to Scourge's opening in the vent.

It is a little known fact that Crowpaw is squeamish about porn. Yes, he would only UN - attain that whenever he grew up to be a father and enjoyed looking at porn in his office at work, but for now, he was not liking exactly what he saw.

What he saw was Longtail chained to a bed and Echosong was...

Let's just say you don't want to know, except, the only thing you SHOULD know is that Scourge was video taping and a loud, disgusted yowl came from beside Crowpaw. And Ravenpaw was still humming,

"I'm going. Let's go to Yellowpaw's dorm." Graypaw suggested. Crowpaw nodded and followed Graypaw down the shaft. The shaft was warm, and felt like it was getting warmer as they neared Yellowpaw's dorm. The metal plate below them was gradually warming up, going from cold to hot. Somebody had turned on the heater.

"Uhh... Graypaw, I don't think I'm the only one who thinks this but we need to get out of here NOW!" Crowpaw yowled, his voice echoing down the shaft in soft whispers. Graypaw turned his broad, gray head and looked at him, amber eyes gleaming in amusement.

"Don't be stup--" But Graypaw was cut off just about as he was about to say 'stupid' because a large blast of hot air rammed into the them like a hurricane. Ravenpaw went flying backwards, barely holding onto Crowpaw's dark gray pelt.

Graypaw flattened himself against the plate and unsheathed his claws to dig into the metal. The air knocked him backwards, his claws sliding down the shaft in an ear - screaming screeching noise. Crowpaw flattened his ears to block out the sound. Ravenpaw's claws were hooked in his flanks and Crowpaw had to grit his teeth to not cry out to Starclan.

Instead, Graypaw had a better idea.

The tom spread his legs out to where he was stuck between the wall and yowled, " Every tom for themselves! Scatter!" He yowled and with a tremendous burst of speed, sprinted down tht eshaft without turning back for Crowpaw and Ravenpaw.

"Sorry Ravenpaw!" Crowpaw yowled over the noise and bit down on Ravenpaw's shoulder. The black tom yowled out a curse and was then sent flying back down the shaft, Crowpaw running down the shaft to catch up with Graypaw. He raced on and on and on and on so much that Alyson got tired of typin 'and on' so many times.

A small turn appeared up ahead, the warm air almost getting to much to bear, when he turned down it. Around the curve he spotted Graypaw clawing at a air vent release. "Come help me!" He yowled over the noise.

Crowpaw sighed in relief. Thankfully, they didn't have the air turned on in the East Wing of the dorms so they were safe for now. Poor Ravenpaw was somewhere else Starclan - knows - where in the shaft.

-- With a near dead Ravenpaw --

"They are so -- OOMPH!" Ravenpaw grumbled until a flying mouse flew down his throat and he started to choke. Why does it always happen to ME? Why not the new kid? Why? WHY? I KNOW IT! THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AS WE KNOW IT AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO WARN ANYBODY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-- BaCk WiTh CrOwPaW aNd GrAyPaW --

The two had removed the covering part of the vent release, so they could look into it. And down below them, Yellowpaw was sitting on her bed alone. Some notes of non - personal hygiene would be:

She scratched her unruly, gray furred armpits. Yelled at a nearby pencil. Sneezed and then ate her snot. Picked off a tick and sucked her blood out of it before eating the actual tick. And then eyed a nearby deodorant container with hatred and fierce ambition to be superior over it.

"See? I told you she was Stupid, ugly, disgusting, inexplainable, fatass, dumbass, retard, fucktard, dumbtard, stupid load of lard who doesn't know what personal hygiene is and needs to learn the simple fact of life that toms DO NOT fall for her nor sha'll they ever because she is some stupid, ugly gray she - cat with the dullest yellow eyes I have ever seen. I do not know how I was ever able to approach her on my first day, thank Starclan Graypaw saved me from her horrific looks and told me to never, ever approach her skinny ass, bag of bones ever again. I now ask myself, on the second day os school, how I have gotten to realize just what she IS? I mean come on, she looks like some homosexual freak who could probably make Mousepaw look straight in the eyes of Sandpaw which is so hard to do I'm not even going to think about it. Bad thoughts may occur... Okay, so in high school she'll probably be voted all of the following: Most likely to not succeed, work at McMouser's, live in a trash can in a an alley way, eat garbage scarped off of Stormpaw or Spottedleaf's plates, or my personal favorite, to get shot from trying to get accepted into Silverpelt Idol or trying to get on Mrs. Starclan and actually win. Oh Starclan I think I can stop ranting about the hideous of this beast that is known as Yellowpaw. Why? WHY must Starclan not bless her with good looks that even Shortwhisker or Rainfur probably have. WHy not make her be the snobby, vain little Ivypaw who is like Sandpaw's body guard or something except she won't even touch Yellowpaw's fur because everybody knows that Yellowpaw probably has some horrible desease like a flesh eating virus or something that would devour you in seconds as if you were an exact copy of Spottedleaf except more beautiful and times fifty - seven and about point dot eight billion and one. I think she'll be lucky if she even gets a boyfriend for Starclan's sake! The only tom or toms who would probably be attracted to her would either be Harepaw, Kestrelpaw, Littlecloud, Runningnose, or maybe become a bisexual and end up joining the rejects like Mousepaw, Heatherpaw, Onewhisker, Twig, Rainfur, and Willowpaw, or she could always go health freak like Shortwhisker and Owlpaw. I don't understand health freaks at all. They're too... health freakish if you get my drift. Wait, back to ruining Yellowpaw's reputation in my head. Come on, I mean who were her parents? Oh yeah, that's true, she's Yellowpaw River, daughter of stupid Riverclan leader Riverstar who dies like Starclan knows how many years ago but we're not even sure if he IS her REAL father because contrary to popular belief, we have no idea if her mom or dad is a hermaphrodite... but then again, if I went go ask her, she probably would have no clue what a hermaphrodite is... just like Eric Cartman's mom off of South Park which is 'lyk teh most awezomest show eva!' As Hazelpaw would say... I still say Hazelpaw has problems... hang on, is that the lunch bell? Wow, guess I spent more time thinking about some ugly - as - Deathclan gray she - cat than what I thought... so I think now I sha'll go off to lunch recess and go mingle with the students who I hadn't been able to meet earlier on my first day because of random reasons and plus the authoress is now wondering why she has typed this entire paragraph without spacing... maybe she just wanted to make everything look long and actually see who would take the time to read didn't I?

"Fine, I believe you then." Graypaw snorted and then wondered why the authoress has copied that twice in this chapter but he decided not to ask that question because he figured that by questioning the authoress she would make him do something retarded like this, because she has the power of the 'keyboard', and even better, 'backspace':

Graypaw looked at his mom and randomly blurted out: "I like to sing, I like to dance, I like to put ants in Crowpaw's pants!"

"So... wanna mess with somebody else-- oh crap." Crowpaw said as he heard the vent release creak, and snap, and then send Crowpaw plummeting into the dorm, of the ugliest she - cat, Yellowpaw.

"Crowpaw!" Graypaw yowled all dramatically but it wasn't dramatic at all.

When Crowpaw hit the bottom, he found himself on Gorsepaw's bed which smelled oddly of sweat and cotton candy. But he wasn't going to ask why Gorsepaw would excersise and eat cotton candy at the same time.

"H-he l-loves m-me... he l-loves me n-not..." Yellowpaw chanted over and over again while picking leaves off of a flower and saying stuff in random languages; aztec, british, spanish, french, african, etc. "Crowpaw! My one and only love!" She yowled when she saw him, her amber eyes brightening up tremendously and turning the size of the moon.

"U-uh h-hello-o Y-yellowp-paw" Crowpaw stuttered, his eyes darting around for the nearest escape. Yellowpaw walked closer.

"I even got a song for our wedding! Here it is!" She yowled and started to sing I Write Sins, Not Tragedies in a very off key manner...

Oh, well imagine, as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding! What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a sleeper."

I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of...

Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne

Again...

I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.

Again...

"Away from him you beast!" Graypaw yowled and jumped in the door, doing a move like the matrix although I don't quite know how he did. Thus, he touched Yellowpaw, screamed, yes screamed, not yowled, screamed, grabbed Cropwaw, and raced out the door in mad pursuit to get away from Yellowpaw.