Crowpaw, Ravenpaw, and Graypaw silently crept through the school hall. The three were flattened against the wall, fur standing up in the slightest bit. Crowpaw could feel tension rippling off Ravenpaw in waves. Hopefully, the black tom with his white tipped tail would start on one of 'episodes' again.
A silent signal from Graypaw's lashing tail told Crowpaw to follow. The gray - black apprentice nodded to himself and steathily followed behind. Pawstep by pawstep, they neared the bathroom. But from inside the bathroom, they heard something they were not expecting. Something they never wold have dreamed of.
It was...
Owlpaw.
And.
Shortwhisker. And from the sound of it, they were deeply engaged in some activity Crowpaw didn't want to know about. "Do you hear that?" Crowpaw asked Graypaw and Ravenpaw. The two other apprentices nodded his way and crept on along the wall. "Come on." He added and took the lead, ignoring Graypaw's death glare.
"What do you think they're doing in there?" Ravenpaw asked a bit nervously.
"Do we want to know?" Crowpaw mused. Ravenpaw knitted his brows together and glared at Crowpaw angrily. Crowpaw swore that all of his friends' death glares had been increasing leavels, Thistleclaw being the only known holder of the Death Glare Level 28. The only one.
"Just come on. If we don't go then we'll never know what they're doing." Graypaw growled. Crowpaw and Ravenpaw flashed a look at each other and shrugged. The two watched Graypaw stalk closer to the bathroom with evenly paced steps. Crowpaw quetly moved along to catch up with him.
"Oh yeah, Crowpaw and Graypaw, I'm still not forgiving you two for making me nearly eat a mouse!" Ravenpaw exclaimed in a low tone of voice. Crowpaw twitched his whiskers and flicked his ears. "I mean it guys!" He whined.
"Well, if you don't want to stay following us then go back to the dorm and go whine to yourself. Or go to Sorrelpaw, Cinderpaw, and Firepaw. Go bug them or something if you're not going to help." Crowpaw growled irritatedly. Ravenpaw looked at him and turned away.
"Well I'm going back to the dorm and go sleep if you want to be like that!" Ravenpaw hissed. Crowpaw turned his head to face Graypaw, who had a sly smirk on his face. With one, fluid motion, Graypaw raised a paw and scraped it against the wall as Ravenpaw was padding off.
Crowpaw turned back to look at Ravenpaw. As soon as Graypaw's claws met the wall, Ravenpaw freaked out and ran down the hall screaming: "THE WORLD IS GOING TO END! SO STARCLAN HELP ME THAT THE CATS OF THE DARK FOREST ARE OUT TO GET ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I DONT WANNA DIE! I DONT WANNA DIE!"
"...Wanna go raid on Shortwhisker and Owlpaw's little happy time?"
"Sure." Crowpaw said smugly and the two moved after Ravenpaw had been disappeared down the hall. The two quietly opened the door, and what they saw, shocked them. What they saw: Owlpaw and Shortwhisker looking at porn magazines and making out at the same time.
"Ewwwwwwwww! That's just sick!" Crowpaw heard a voice yowl. He turned around quickly only to see a bundle of gray fur, otherwise known as Cinderpaw, come swinging from a vine and kick Owlpaw out the window, into the cool night air. Shortwhisker hurried up and ran after his boyfriend.
Crowpaw and Graypaw stood still with a sweat drop at their heads and flat looks. "..."
"What?" Cinderpaw asked, turning around. Crowpaw opened his mouth to speak but Graypaw stole his words right out of his mouth. "What?" She prompted again.
"How... did you follow us?" Graypaw asked skeptically. The sweat drop still clung to the side of his head. Graypaw looked up and saw the sweat drop and tried to shake it off but it didn't work out to great. "Argh! Get off of me!" He yowled at it. Graypaw turned around and saw Crowpaw fighting with his own sweat drop.
"Erm... can I answer your question?" Cinderpaw asked. Crowpaw and Graypaw took a moment to stop and stared at her like she was an idiot. "Helloooo? Anybody home?" She said, waving a paw in front of their face.
"Er, yeah." Crowpaw answered for Graypaw.
"Well, I saw you two, along with Ravenpaw, sneak out the dorm and wanted to see what you were going do. Firepaw said it was a stupid idea and that you were probably going to go visit Stonerfur but Sorrelpaw said that since Crowpaw was going that you were probably going mess around with something. So I decided to go follow you to see what your were going do since I knew that Ravenpaw wouldn't sneak out at night to save his own life. But alas, whenever I saw you entering the school wing, I was really curious now so I followed you here. And yes, I even followed through the vent which was hell because whenever they turned on the heater I thought I was going to die. Well then I saw Ravenpaw pinned against the back of the metal plate and knew that he would probably blow my cover. SO what I did was go catch me a mouse and a few other objects and found a detour in the vent. So then, whenever the heater turned on, I stuck the mouse in the place where it blew the strongest, evened up the position where Ravenpaw was at, and let the mouse go. So then, I followed the scent of the mouse and the route it had taken which led me to a Ravenpaw with a mouse stuck halfway down his throat. He tried to call out to you but he couldn't with the mouse stuck down his throat. I told him that his fur wasn't black anymore, it looked more of a purple or green color. Next, I stood there taunting him for about an hour until the heater turned off and then I raced off to go find you two. I think he was really starting to choke but I didn't know because I think I was going to get murdered or something if I had stayed behind. I'm telling you his eyes turned red. So before he regained his breath, I quickly raced off to find you. But the hallway guards caught me and I tested out my pwnsome ninja skillz on them. After I had nearly decapticated the guards-- I continued on before I came across some more guards and then used my adorable cuteness on them since I was tired after that. After the guards, who were Darkstripe and the other janitors let me pass, I spent about sixty - seven minutes wandering around the hall to go look for you since I could hear Ravenpaw arguing with the guards already. So what I did was find the nearest golf cart and steal it and come driving through the halls to find you two. When I heard you two whispering stuff to each other, I quickly drove faster but then I ran out of gas. Figuring that you had already gotten to far to walk to, I ran back into the Forest Exxon to go buy some more gas, which cost me fifty eight mouse tails by the way so you guys owe me bigtime. Anyway, it was then I realized that I left the golf cart in the hall so I had to walk all the way back. Along the way I was walking, I ran into some freaky beggar named Lizardstripe who asked me how Yellowpaw was doing which was really weird because she asked me to go home with her so I think she was really Michael Jackson in disguise or somethign but I don't really know because my attention span is the size of a teasthingy. But anyway, I walked along that same road for about another two hours, meeting some weird cat named Brightflower who tried to get me to go to the other local schools... I think it was Starclan's Learners and some other freaky all she - cat boarding school called "Miss Preppy Pooch's Pre - School But It's Not Really A Pre - School Because We Just Gave It That Name To Make It Sound Like A Fancy Boarding School" and thus, along the way I met some other cat named Featherwhisker who tried to get me to go to his military academy. Well, when I finally got back to the school, I acidentally left the gas can container lid open and realized that the gas leaked out the whole way coming here and well... I had to test out my pwnsome ninja skills again on the guards and it was only when I got past them that I saw Ravenpaw joining you. So of course, me being little adorable Cinderpaw caught up with you both in the bathroom after planting a vine in the bathroom ceiling and applyling eighty thousand tons of Miracle Grow to it to help it grow twenty feet long in less than twenty minutes. And now, my dear friends, we are where we are at now." Cinderpaw explained and then fainted.
"Erm Crowpaw, should we help? I mean, saying that many sentences cannot be good for your health at all..." Graypaw said with a small frown.
"I supposed..." Crowpaw mumbled.
So the two apprentices quickly drug off Cinderpaw's limp body and returned to the bathroom, armed with wrenches, saw, screwdrivers, and many more tools. "Sha'll we?" Crowpaw mused.
"Yes, let's." Graypaw replied. The to nodded to each other and both got to work on seperate sinks and bathroom stalls and the showers. Crowpaw pulled out a wrench and walked up to a sink. His cold, unwavering eyes studied the knozzle on the sink and he pulled out the Mighty Wrench Of Doom and started to fasten it.
He pulled one way, going counter - clockwise, thus, tightening it. He quickly jerked it back and forth whilst making sure it was tight and secure. He hooked the wrench back on his belt and moved over to the next sink. His eyes flashed over to Graypaw, who was trying his best to cut off the pipe that lead to the sink.
"Um Graypaw, what are you doing?" Crowpaw asked skeptically. Graypaw was bending down on one knee and looked up at him. The gray furred tom's amber eyes shown playfully.
"Well, I'm trying to cut off the pipe thats leads here so that way, whenever somebody comes to turn on the faucet, it'll go through the pipe and start squirting out all over their pants. How about you go work on the showers or something." Graypaw suggested.
"I guess." Crowpaw shrugged. Graypaw waved him off and returned to his task with cutting off a section of the pipe. Crowpaw looked at his friend once more and made his way to the showers. He took a step inside and noticed how elborate they were. The showers were made out of white and sky blue marble, studded with the occasional sapphire and emerald; although most of them had dents in the marble from students trying to pick them out.
Crowpaw stifled a small laugh.
The nozzle on the shower head was made out of a tarnished metal, repainted over with a brilliant greenish - gray color. The walls surrounding the shower were straight, with a few shelves that contained rags and soap, along with the occasional shampoo or conditioner.
"They spend too much money on this," He chuckled to himself. With one more glance around the shower, he added, " Only to have students like us come in and destroy it." He mused in a small whisper like tone.
Crowpaw silently whistled and pulled out a plug, a chisel, and a hammer. He put his paws on his hips and looked up and down the shower neck. With a small squeak of amusement, he carefully positioned the chisel on the metal shower neck, and used the hammer to form a crack within the metal.
Crowpaw moved the chiself and hammer away from the shower neck and admired his handiwork, watching the crack split all the way around the metal. With a laugh, he took out the plug and shoved it in the crack. "There we go." He huffed as he squished the plug deep into the pipe.
Crowpaw hooked the hammer and chisel back onto his belt and dug around in a pocket. With a nod of approvale, he carefully pulled out a jar. And not just any jar, a jar filled with hybridized african killer bees crossed over with hornets, wasps, and any other bug you can think of that can sting or bite, thus, creating the 'Insect X' as Crowpaw called it.
Some experiment they had to do in Petalnose's class the Friday before the concert of Fall Out Cat. "Isn't life sweet?" He chuckled to himself. Crowpaw then started to hum a happy tune of the song 'If You Were Gay'.
He carefully took out a sponge, soaked in syrup to stop it from unplugging. He hurridly took of the lid of the jar and inserted the sponge around the edge where the lid would cover, and as Crowpaw expected, the Insect X's all swarmed around the sponge.
Crowpaw smiled to himself and turned lid over. With one swift, graceful movement, he rammed the jar into the crack he had create and removed the spong from the front and pushed it took the back so the bugs couldn't fly out. Crowpaw kept the sponge in place and picked up the hammer to bend the rod back.
When the neck of the shower closed, Crowpaw stood back and smiled. From deep inside, he could hear the buzzing of the insects. Until Monday, they could survive off of the syrup and hooney stuck to the sponge. And now he had one more thing: Loosen the cap on the shower neck.
Taking out a screwdriver, he approached the cap on the shower. He stuck it under the crease, being careful to stay away from the holes as to not get stung through them, and pulled up on it barely. The cap wiggled and bugs tried to get through it. "Perfect." He smiled and walked off to the toilets where he spotted Graypaw.
"hey Crowpaw! Guess what? I rigged up one of the toilets to whenever you flush it, it flushes and then shoots everything back out! Cool huh?" Graypaw exclaimed. Crowpaw craned his neck and spotted Graypaw's contraption. Other than the fact it had multiple dents in it and one sign of 'Graypaw wuz hea' inscribed in it, it looked pretty normal to him.
"So now what?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw took out one claw and scratched his head.
"I... guess we can go hide Tigerstar's porn in the gym." Graypaw suggested and scurried off. Crowpaw furrowed his brows and raced off after his friend. The two raced down the hallway, doing their best as to not get caught or spotted by the guards, and arrived at the Junior High gym.
"here we are!" Crowpaw proclaimed. Graypaw walked up to his friend and put a paw on his shoulder.
"Crowpaw, I really respect your wishes on how you want to grow up and what you want to do when you get older. Such as, having a kit randomly named after Breezepaw and taking a mate similar to Featherpaw, Leafpaw, and Nightcloud, but please, for the love of Starclan, don't ever do that again." Graypaw explained in a solemn tone.
"What... did I do?" Crowpaw asked. Graypaw shrugged and walked off to the office of their tabby coach, also known as Tigerstar. They both looked around the office, inspecting every drawer and shelf. Crowpaw and Graypaw both searched every nook an cranny for the porn, but couldn't find any.
Crowpaw raised up every possible item: From pencils to erasers, and even rubber balls to marijuana stalks that had already been smoked. Nearby, though, Graypaw watched with a lustful look at the marijuana. "Graypaw, it is already been smoked so chill out, dude." Crowpaw sighed.
Graypaw's gray - furred ears laid back and his tail drooped as he looked around the office some more. "Hey look what I found!" He exclaimed five minutes later, holding up a record in a red case.
"Graypaw, that's the song 'If You Were Gay'.." Crowpaw sighed again.
"Yeah, I know! I've always wanted to hear this song!" He added and put it in an old fashioned record player. He put the needle on the record and the song began with the usual tune of 'If You Were Gay' by Avenue Q began with:
ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?
NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!
ROD
Hi Nicky.
NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
ROD
That's very interesting.
NICKY
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!
ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?
NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...
ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.
NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
ROD
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!
NICKY
Yeah, but...
ROD
OVER!!
NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
ROD
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read...
What?!
NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER
ROD
Ah, Nicky!
NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE,
ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.
NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR
ROD
Nicky!
NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,
ROD
Argh!
NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU
ROD
What?
NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
ROD
I would?
NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?
ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS!
NICKY
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
ROD
I am not listening!
NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY,
ROD
La la la la la!
NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.
ROD
Aaaah!
NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!
ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY!
NICKY
If you were gay.
ROD
Argh!
As soon as the song ended, Crowpaw stood with his sweatdrop back again, not even botherign this time to bat it away. "Graypaw... there are just some thigns in life such as songs and videos you are never supposed to watch. I think that might come pretty close to the top of the list. So I am now going to walk away and-- OW!" Crowpaw yowled and realized that what he tripped over was Tigerstar's porn.
"Hey you find it Crowpaw!" Graypaw exclaimed and raced forward. The apprnetice picked up the black tape, turning it over and over and looking beneath it and stuff. All he could see was a lable that read: 'XXX NOT FOR APPRENTICES: TIGERSTAR'S PORN XXX' In big, bold letters.
"Hmph, where you want to put it then?" Crowpaw asked.
"Let's go sneak it under Bluestar's desk. I think Clawface or Darkstripe have a golf cart somewheres in one of their closets that we could use." Graypaw suggested. Crowpaw nodded and the two ran off to go find the nearest janitor closet.
It didn't take Graypaw and Crowpaw long to find the janitors closet, mainly because it was marked with large signs saying stuff like 'JANITORS CLOSET' in large, neon yellow and green lights.
"Ya think they got their message across?" Graypaw asked.
"Nah, they need more color." Crowpaw snickered.
The two opened the forest green door and found the golf cart, sitting in a ray of shining, yellow light. Crowpaw found the keys and handed them to Graypaw. The two of them got in the golf cart, Graypaw driving, and put on shades to try and act like the really fancy people on TV shows even though you know people in real life wouldn't do.
"Let's ride." A random voice out of nowehre said.
Graypaw hit the gas peddle on the golf cart and took off flying down the hallway. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Graypaw cheered the whole way so much, that he didn't even realize Crowpaw hanging onto his own seat for dear life.
--
"Too... tired. Can't... speak..." Graypaw heaved, flopping down backwards onto his bed.
"Well, if I remember right, you were the idiot who went and hid the porn underneath Bluestar, Redtail, and Lionheart's desk and 'accidentally' hit the alarm button! Starclan you're retarded." Crowpaw growled.
From behind the two chatting apprentices, Ravenpaw walked through the door, dripping wet, and soaked to the bone. And he was freezing... badly. "Gee, thanks for staying with me guys." He growled.
"What happened to you?" Crowpaw asked. Ravenpaw flicked his white - tipped tail in annoyance and sat down on his respective bed.
"Let's say this happened: I was left behind. And then after Cinderpaw regained her consciousness after reciting to you two her basically, life story, I found her and she brought me back to the Forest Exxon to o get some gas for her golf cart that randomly appeared out of nowhere. That's what happened." Ravenpaw growled.
But when he looked, Crowpaw and Graypaw had already fallen asleep.
"WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS ABANDON ME? I'M GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! HELP ME LORD! Wait a minute... what's a lord? Dont' make ME SING THE 'IF YOU WERE GAY SONG!" He yowled and saw that it didn't wake either of them up. "IM SERIOUS!" He added, but Crowpaw only mumbled a bit in his sleep, and Graypaw prattled on about weed and crack.
"THAT"S IT!" He yowled and inhaled deeply before singing:
ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any better than this?
NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!
ROD
Hi Nicky.
NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
ROD
That's very interesting.
NICKY
He was being real friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!
ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you have for lunch today?
NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...
ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.
NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.
ROD
I don't want to talk about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!
NICKY
Yeah, but...
ROD
OVER!!
NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know —
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOULD FEEL FREE
TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
ROD
Nicky, please!
I am trying to read...
What?!
NICKY
IF YOU WERE QUEER
ROD
Ah, Nicky!
NICKY
I'D STILL BE HERE,
ROD
Nicky, I'm trying to read this book.
NICKY
YEAR AFTER YEAR
ROD
Nicky!
NICKY
BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR
TO ME,
ROD
Argh!
NICKY
AND I KNOW THAT YOU
ROD
What?
NICKY
WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,
ROD
I would?
NICKY
IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,
"HEY! GUESS WHAT,
I'M GAY!"
(BUT I'M NOT GAY.)
I'M HAPPY
JUST BEING WITH YOU.
ROD
High Button Shoes, Pal Joey...
NICKY
SO WHAT SHOULD IT
MATTER TO ME
WHAT YOU DO IN BED
WITH GUYS?
ROD
Nicky, that's GROSS!
NICKY
No it's not!
IF YOU WERE GAY
I'D SHOUT HOORAY!
ROD
I am not listening!
NICKY
AND HERE I'D STAY,
ROD
La la la la la!
NICKY
BUT I WOULDN'T GET
IN YOUR WAY.
ROD
Aaaah!
NICKY
YOU CAN COUNT ON ME
TO ALWAYS BE
BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY,
TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY,
YOU WERE JUST BORN
THAT WAY,
AND, AS THEY SAY,
IT'S IN YOUR DNA,
YOU'RE GAY!
ROD
BUT I'M NOT GAY!
NICKY
If you were gay.
ROD
Argh!
"NOT THAT SONG!" Crowpaw yowled and shot up straight. "IT REMINDS ME OF SKYWATCHER!" The fear was evident in his eyes from the look on his face, Ravenpaw swore his eyes had turned redish - yellow from the usual blueish - amber.
"Weeeeeeeeeeell, if you would let me expl-- STARCLAN DAMNIT CROWPAW!" He snarled when Crowpaw fell back asleep. "WHY DO THEY ALWAYS LEAVE ME?! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! I NEVER EVEN GOT TO SAY GOODBYE TO DADDY BARLEY AND MOMMY GOLDENFLOWER EVEN THOUGH I KNOW SHE'S NOT MY MOTHER BECAUSE VICKY HOLMES EVEN SAID SHE ISN'T BUT I'M GOING TO BELIEVE SHE IS ANYWAY BECAUSE I CAN DO STUFF LIKE THAT!"
And then he, too, also crashed out on a bed with a loud thunk.
--
Praise Starclan."
"Amen." Crowpaw replied. He, Sorrelpaw, Graypaw, and Cinderpaw were seated at the local church. Firepaw didn't come because he didn't believe in Starclan, and Ravenpaw didn't come because he said that since the church was made of marble, that if it crashed, he would be crushed by the marble pillars.
The priest, preacher, pastor, etc. was Mudfur, who was holding a Starclan bible in one paw and a his page turner in the other. "And then, Thunderstar told Lightningtail, YOU, LIGHTININGTAIL! Will be my deputy!" He yowled, causing everybody in the church to jump.
"Anger management..." Graypaw coughed under his paw. Sorrelpaw jabbed him in the ribs to shut him up. Graypaw rubbed his side while shooting a glare at Sorrelpaw. Crowpaw rolled his eyes and turned back to watch Mudfur rant on and on until it took fifteen people working for the Secret Service to carry him off the podium, while he still yowled out passages from the bible all the way.
"Well, it's about time that's over!" Cinderpaw exclaimed with her fur ruffled up.
"Ya know, when I told my mom that Mudfur was crazy, she never listened to me..." Graypaw muttered.
"That's those Riverclanners for you." Crowpaw mused, watching Graypaw glare at him. "Oh, I'm sorry if Minnowpaw and Silverpaw are from Riverclan, you're not going to die." He smirked. Graypaw started to mutter a few things and shoved his paws in his fur.
"Hey guys, how about we go to the mall for a little Sunday shopping?" Sorrelpaw suggested. Cinderpaw, Crowpaw, and Graypaw all gave her a blank stare. "Without Ravenpaw or Firepaw?"
"SURE!" Cinderpaw exclaimed. She started to dash out the church but was caught by Crowpaw's outstretched paw. "Oh yeah. Who's driving the golf cart?"
Sorrelpaw looked expectantly at Graypaw, and then pointed. "Certainly not him." She joked. Fishing the keys out of her fur, she presented a black and silver key. "Now presenting, golf cart key!" She exclaimed proudly and raised it above her head. "Now let's go!" She added.
The four friends all found the golf cart, conveniently parked outside their dorm, and hopped in. Cinderpaw was in the passenger seat, Sorrelpaw was driving, and Graypaw and Crowpaw were sitting in the seat in the back.
It took the bribery of weed to get Graypaw to stop trying to give the golf cart hydrolics, and to stop him from dragging his claws against the ground, claiming he was 'giving the golf cart neon lights'.
"So where to?" Crowpaw asked.
"Please do not talk while the golf cart is in motion." Cinderpaw growled over a randomly appearing walkie talkie, that came out of nowhere.
"Sheesh..." Crowpaw muttered and sat down.
--
The four friends all parked the golf cart in a parking lot outside the store. "Okay, so where you guys wanna go first?" Sorrelpaw asked. Crowpaw and Graypaw both looked at each other, shrugged, and turned back. "Fine, let's go down to--"
"Split up!" Graypaw announced. Crowpaw knew that one second, he saw Sorrelpaw, and then the next, he was being dragged down the mall by Cinderpaw. No telling where Graypaw ran off to, and Sorrelpaw, stood in her spot looking like retard.
Crowpaw's crystal blue eyes were wide when he felt himself slam into a wall, head first, Cinderpaw then came barreling into him next. "Ow!" He shrieked and pushed the fluffy gray apprentice off him. "Gee, thanks Cinderpaw." He growled and stood up. Crowpaw stood on unsteady legs and started to brush off imaginary dust.
"Aww come on Crowy! We might as well do some shopping!" She cheered.
Crowpaw stared at her blankly.
"What?" She asked.
"Cinderpaw, may I remind you that I'm broke. Eaglekit has all the money right now." Crowpaw informed her. Realization dawned on Cinderpaw's face, only to be relit by something else -- snickering. "What's so funny?" Cinderpaw sighed and dug around in her fur pocket and retrieved, a credit card.
"Now presenting, Sandpaw's credit card!" She announced. "So, now we aren't broke. Come on!" She added and grabbed Crowpaw by his paw and pulled him to the nearest clothing store. Crowpaw failed to notice the fact that the store was entitled 'Catacrombie and Catapostle'.
The store was massive on the inside-- clothing lining along all walls and racks placed in the middle. "Okay, I'll be over here if you need me! Oh, and get something good too. If we have money right now, we'll only be buying top brands!" Cinderpaw meowed cheekily and ran off to a rack filled with tank tops.
Crowpaw sighed and browsed through the racks. Hoodies, jeans, shoes, shirts, jackets, and more were scattered about, until one thing in particular caught his eye. Crowpaw's blue eyes locked onto a pair of jet black jeans with three chains hanging off the side. A belt circled around it, studded with diamonds, and the buckle was imprinted with the logo of Catapostle.
He scampered off for the jeans and his eyes flickered down tot he price tag: 5,000. Did he have enough? Well you had better bet your ugly f-king boots he did! He had Sandpaw's credit card with him! Crowpaw greedily snatched the black jeans off the rack and slung them over his shoulder, now he needed a jacket and a shirt to go along with it.
Crowpaw smirked to himself and calmly started to hum as he made his way over to a rack of dark blue, navy shirts with numerous logos and words written on them. One shirt caught his eyes. It was a dark blue, a hue of forest green mixed in, and was medium length. The collar dipped down to a V point by each shoulder and rose up the tiniest bit at the edge line, from back to front. And smack dab in the middle of it was a silver flame with a redish - orange outline. Crowpaw was in love with shopping.
"I see you already found something?" Cinderpaw's expectant voice sounded from behind him. The fluffy gray she - cat walked up behind him, in her paws, she carried a regular maroon hoodie and some short cut dark green short jeans. Crowpaw nodded meekly and did a babyish 'mmhmm', sounding like a toddler.
"Well, let's go check out then! Next stop, electronics!" Cinderpaw proclaimed and drug Crowpaw over to the register. Needless to say, he nearly stumbled over his own feet. Crowpaw learned that day, never underestimate the power of a hyperactive ninja wannabe.
Cinderpaw nearly threw Crowpaw, himself, on the counter when she threw her items on it. "I'm sorry madame, but, we don't sell toms." The cashier said politely, eyeing Crowpaw.
Crowpaw growled at Cinderpaw and tried --TRIED-- to get off the table, but instead, fell off and landed on his side with an audible thunk. "Ow..." He mumbled and stood. Crowpaw rubbed his side and waited for the woman to finish scanning their items.
"That'll be..." The woman, who was actually a cat, took a moment to calculate everything. "...will be about... 20,000 mouse tails." She replied. Crowpaw smacked his forehead when he saw Cinderpaw hand her the credit card. "Thanks, come again soon." She added poliely and handed them their bags.
"Can we go to the electronics now?" Crowpaw asked Cinderpaw. The she - cat nodded and they then, were whisked away to the wonders of Vole-adio Shack. So as luck would have it that our two friends entered Vole-adio Shack which was none other a car dealership, trcator rentals, weaponry store, and, electronics, Crowpaw stood amazed.
Mainly because of the items that lined the wall. To his left was a weaponry store and to the right, electronics. IPods, Mp3 players, DVD players, computers, laptops, DS lights, X-Boxes, and even mor ethan the authoress cares to list right now. Yes, he was definately in heaven.
Crowpaw's blue eyes were large, blue, and the size of the moon. They were glazed over in none other than something that could signify love for the particular store, and hatred for Cinderpaw not telling him sooner. Crowpaw clenched the bag with his latest clothes tighter and walked deeper into the store, straight for the IPods.
His eyes found one particular IPod, it was black with silver and gray streaks running diagonally and white flecks mixed in. Crowpaw reached out a paw and picked up the information packet and read it: It could hold up to ten thousand songs, and even more recordings. He was still in heaven.
So of course, going all fanaticy about the IPod, Crowpaw did what any other tom or she - cat would do, picked it up to buy it and moved down the rest of the store. It was whenever he found himself in front of XBoxes (Which he bought too) That he bothered to even turn around and look for Cinderpaw.
The fluffy gray, wannabe ninja was over by the weapons, and all Crowpaw could mutter was, "Oh crap," before he raced over to the other side of the store and rescued her from buying something that she would definately use to get revenge against Ivypaw and Whitepaw for making fun of her fur color. Obviously, Sandpaw's group didn't like she - cats with gray fur.
Crowpaw didn't exactly know how fast he ran, nor did he really care. All he knew was that one moment he was just walking away from the cashier and then the next moment he found himself sprinting over to Cinderpaw to stop her from buying a deadly weapon to kill the preps.
And of course, it was too late. Cinderpaw walked away from the counter showing Crowpaw her brand set of kunai and daggers. "They're so awesome huh!" She yowled in an excited tone. Crowpaw could feel his sweatdrop coming back already. Note to self: Buy sweatdrop repellent for me and Graypaw... He thought.
"Er... yeah, awesome... right..." Crowpaw sighed. This day was going to drag on and on...
"Next stop! Golf Cart land!" Cinderpaw chirped. Crowpaw did not like the sound of that. What was it with that cat and golf carts anyway? What was so significate about a golf cart that could make the hyperactive ninja wannabe be so engrossed about them? But as usual, he couldn't spend too much time in daydream land because Cinderpaw had grabbed his paw, and once again, literally used him to sled down the mall path.
"BRUSH BURNNNNNNNNNNNN!" Crowpaw yowled when he smacked into a door, the door to, GOLF CART LAND! Where all your Golf Cart fantasies can come true! Only In Golf Cart Land! Cinderpaw let go of his smoky grayish - black ears and leaped off of him.
"Oh quit ya whining, it's a marble floor anyway." She snorted. Realization spread across Crowpaw's face when he looked down: It was only a polished, marble, forest green, stone walkway. Boy, did he feel really stupid that moment. "But, we need to go get a new golf cart because the one I keepo stea--, I mean borrowing from the janitors is a piece of crap." She explained. "So come on!"
Crowpaw and Cinderpaw then, walked in Golf Cart Land.
--
"I think they went this way!" Sorrelpaw shouted at Graypaw. Not only had she found him after an hour of searching, but she found him in a drug store. Not knowing exactly why they would have a drug store in a mall, she got him before he could buy any steroids or excessive amounts of estrogen. Not good.
"I'm coming..." The tortoiseshell heard the smoky gray tom growl under his breath. Graypaw hurried up a bit to catch up to Sorrelpaw, and to walk at her side. "So... where did they go?" He asked again, casting a forlorn look at his shopping bag that contained a lazer light that he had been getting wicked ideas about for last half hour.
"I think I saw Cinderpaw drag Crowpaw off into Golf Cart Land." Sorrelpaw explained, pointing out with a sheathed paw in the direction of the golf cart wonderland... for Cinderpaw at least.
Sorrelpaw hurridly grabbed Graypaw's paws and raced dead into Golf Cart Land, which sounded oddly close to Cartman Land from South Park that the authoress is currently obsessed with.
--
Crowpaw sighed. This was not going well. For starters, he was standing next to a constantly chattering Cinderpaw who was constantly chattering with the golf cart sales-tom. And now, Graypaw and Sorrelpaw had finally found them. "There you are!" Sorrelpaw growled in a motherly tone of voice.
"What have you two been doing?" Graypaw asked. Crowpaw merely shrugged and pointed at Cinderpaw, who checking out a golf cart that had REAL neon lights at the bottom and top, hydrolics, a 50 watt sound system, headlights, a fridgerator, built in AC and a heater, and much, much more. And she bought it. Using Sandpaw's credit card.
"Did... you just buy us a golf cart?" Crowpaw asked in disbelief. And for emphasis, Cinderpaw dangled the keys in front of his eyes and presented him with the papers.
"Yep! And this is our own! We sha'll call it, the Slacker!" She said in a high pitched mew. "Can you believe it!? We finally got our own golf cart! And it only cost Sandp--, I mean me, only 25,000 mouse tails and dollars! They use ACTUAL dollars here!" She squeaked.
"Whipee... I'm so happy..." Crowpaw cheered sarcastically. He even waved a little white flag to prove his point. Then, Crowpaw heard a loud click sound.
"Aw man. My bracelet broke!" Graypaw growled and held up the two, pathetic pieces of the braclet. Crowpaw, Sorrelpaw, and Cinderpaw all snickered. The braclet was unmistakable of where he got it from...
"Aw, your poor cheap, Asian bracelet broke. Let's go home to tell Patchpelt and Willowpelt and everything will be okay." Crowpaw sneered at his friend.
"Why you racist son of a bit-- hey look! A penny!" Graypaw interupted himself and bent down to pick up the bronze, copper penny that lay by his hindpaws. And they say Cinderpaw has a small attention span... Crowpaw snickered in his thoughts. And wait, since when am I racist? I'm part asian! Oh wait, that's Egyptian. Aw screw it. He mused to himself.
"Hey guys, let's go eat at the cafe somewhere. I'm hungry." Graypaw said when he retrieved his penny off the ground and stuffed it in his own newly bought hoodie. Sorrelpaw rolled her eyes, Cinderpaw snorted, and Crowpaw didn't really care.
"You're always hungry." He only said.
"So? Let's go eat. I could really do for a Mouse Musse right now..." He started to dream of chocolate coated mice, dipped in whipped cream and served with cherries and light, whipped chocolate. Crowpaw watched. "Aw please? Crowpaw, you have never lived until you try one." He added and poked him in the ribs.
"Fine." Crowpaw digressed. "We'll go eat. To the Slacker!" He proclaimed.
"Uh Crowpaw, it's like, two feet in front of you," Cinderpaw pointed out.
"Oh... I knew that.."