Ok, people, true to my word, here's the next installment of Word of the Day! I really hope people liked the first one, though I wouldn't know, since I have to write these before I get a chance to get reviews…Anyway, enjoy!

Mephitic \muh-FIT-ik\, adjective:
1. Offensive to the smell; as, mephitic odors.
2. Poisonous; noxious.

Rating: T-ish…

Pairing: Sephiroth x Zack

Word Count: 394

Warnings: Naughty words and Zack running around stark naked.

Summary: Sephiroth should never attempt uke-ish things like cooking.

Dedication: This is for anyone that read the first chapter and didn't think it was total crap! I love you all and hope you enjoy this one!

Disclaimer: NO, I DON'T OWN THEM, SO STOP RUBBING IT IN, YOU BASTARDS! TTTT

Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class, jolted out of bed. Was that…burning?

Yes, that was definitely smoke. Wait, was that...burning plastic? That was poisonous, right? Who the hell was burning plastic?

He glanced at the calendar. Today was Thursday, which meant that Cloud had a day of training, which meant that Cloud didn't cook breakfast, which meant…

Oh SHIT…

Zack all but sprinted toward the dining area in their suite of rooms, not even bothering to throw some clothes on. When he reached the doorway of the kitchen, he skidded to a stop and put a hand over his mouth and nose, hacking several times. The smoke was beginning to blacken. He walked through the kitchen, one hand trying to filter his breathing, the other trying to clear the smoke in front of him, both unsuccessful. When he reached the far end of the kitchen, he groped about blindly until his hand found a firm shoulder.

"Fuck, Seph, what'd you do this time?" Zack wheezed between coughs.

The General held a Fire materia in one hand and what looked like a flaming plate in the other. He frowned bemusedly. "I don't understand. I reasoned that if the cookies bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees, they ought to bake for only 2 minutes at 3500 degrees. Unfortunately, the oven doesn't have that high of a setting, so I used magic. It should have worked, but the cookie sheet merely caught flame."

During this explanation, Zack had found the fire extinguisher and now sprayed the cold foam at the source of the fire, getting the stuff all over Sephiroth in the process. After the smoke cleared enough to assess the damage, Zack sighed and put on his "bad Sephy" look.

"Look, Seph, math and logic don't really work on cooking. I know, it usually works on everything else, but with baking cookies, you just gotta follow the directions they give you."

Sephiroth set down the charred cookie sheet. If it were anyone else, the expression he wore now could be called pouting. "It was sound logic," he mumbled, examining the near disintegrated remains of his baking attempt.

Zack grinned and grabbed his lover's hand. "Let's go grab some eggs and bacon, 'kay?"

And then, Sephiroth went General-mode on his SOLDIER. "As much as I appreciate the view, if we're going out, you're putting some clothes on."