Title: Baring It All
Author: Tom's gg
Chapter: 17/?
Chapter Title: All I Need Pt. 1
Characters: Brennan/ Booth
Rating: M - Strong Sexual Content
Spoilers: Dialogue from Death in the Saddle and the Glowing Bones in the 'Old Stone House'
I do not own the characters- that distinction belongs to FOX… but God I wish I did!
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I'd like to once again thank my Good Friend mumrulz. I became frozen with this piece- staring at the same few paragraphs for hours on end. She spent quite a bit of time with me going back and forth to help me work through it. This chapter and a large part of the next one are the result. Thank you so much my wonderful "Bones Expert".
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John Steinbeck once wrote, "Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn. It comes like the stealthy perfume of the wildflowers hidden in the grass."
Temperance Brennan's life had changed; there was no denying that. The changes that blew into her life had gone unnoticed at first, like the opening of a window slowly as the day grew warmer. He had come into her life and everything was different.
Brennan glanced over at his profile as he concentrated on the heavy downtown Atlanta traffic.
They'd spent several hours with Charlotte Drake's parents. Her mom had shown them photos, scrapbooks, trophies… a whole life reduced to a few gilded mementos.
They'd gone through the piles of scrapbooks that contained Charlottes' articles all the way back to her time on the high school paper. She was a talented writer. She had a way of humanizing any story, even if it was about the repaving of the high school parking lot.
Her parents had no idea what she'd been working on at the time of her death. They hadn't talked with her in several months, and you could see how deeply it hurt them.
When Booth and Brennan finished with Charlotte's parents, they'd headed to the local F.B.I. headquarters, and then they'd gone by the impound lot to pick up the Chevy Camaro they were currently driving.
They'd decided to drive to their next location, since that would make it easier for them to disappear and become Tony and Roxie Hart from Philly. They had a thirteen hour drive ahead of them, but they weren't in any hurry.
Brennan continued to steal glances at him as he navigated them onto the freeway and away from the thicker traffic of the city. Her mind drifted to a conversation they'd had, at the diner, a few months before their little excursion to Florida.
Booth- Here we are. All of us are basically alone, separate creatures just circling each other. All searching for that slightest hint of a real connection. Some look in the wrong places. Some- they just give up hope, because in their mind they're thinking 'Oh, there's nobody out there for me.' But all of us, we keep trying over, and over again. Why? Because every once in a while… every once in a while, two people meet. And there's that spark. And yes Bones, he's handsome, and she's beautiful. And maybe that's all they see at first... but making love? Making. Love. That's when two people become one.
The truth was- sex with Seeley Booth was an earth shattering experience. Temperance Brennan had never had a more thoughtful, energetic, imaginative… Brennan felt the heat rise up her body as the images flashed through her mind.
No. There was no doubt that Booth was the best lover she'd ever had. But, that was still just chemistry- biology. It could all be explained with the science of neurochemistry.
Booth- …You believe in love, don't you?
Brennan- I believe that dopamine and norepinephrine simulate euphoria because of certain biological triggers like scent, symmetrical features...
Dopamine, Norepinephrine, Prolactin, Oxytocin, certain androgen receptors, which all affect our mood, our desire for intimacy, our perception of our mate, as well as our susceptibility to addictive activities and substances.
People who are sexually aroused experience a rise in their dopamine levels and at the time of orgasm humans experience a dopamine brainstorm which some researchers compare to the effects of heroin on the brain. Not to mention the release of the stimulant phenylethylamine, which is also present in cocoa and chocolate and elevates energy, mood and attention?
No. You couldn't explain it with sex. Sexual compatibility was chemistry, and this thing… this thing she felt with him wasn't just chemistry.
Brennan- It is scientifically impossible for two objects to occupy the same space.
Booth- Yeah, but what's important is we try. And when we do it right, we get close.
Brennan- To what? Breaking the laws of physics?
Booth- Yeah, Bones. A miracle.
That was it wasn't it? The way he'd become a part of her. The way he read her body, her moods, her mind. It was like he'd crawled inside her.
Wyatt- So, if you're so uncomfortable here, why come?
Brennan- Because something goes on in here. He does something.
Wyatt- And you want to find out what it is, dissect it, so that you can do it yourself.
Brennan- Yes!
Wyatt- So that you can do it without Booth. So that you won't need him anymore.
Brennan- No.
Wyatt- No?
Brennan- No! I just want to observe.
Wyatt- Surely if you want to observe, you can do that on the other side of the mirror there; instead of insisting on being in this room, with him, out of your element.
Brennan- Observation isn't just seeing, Dr Wyatt, it's experiencing. Ideally I prefer being inside Booth's head. You know, seeing and feeling things the way he does. Then maybe I'd understand.
Wyatt- Be one with him.
Brennan- In a scientific sense.
Yes. Somehow he'd crawled inside her head- hadn't he? He'd crawled inside her head and become a part of her. He'd become one with her.
When she'd let Sully go… go without her… she'd known. She'd known it was because she couldn't live her life without him. She stole another look at him, his chiseled jaw with just a hint of scruff as the day wore on.
Booth's hand stole across the center console and kneaded her thigh. He gave her a smile- one of those stomach flopping charm smiles that melted her knees and certain other body parts.
He had somehow managed to slip inside of her. He'd wormed his way past every lead-lined, triple-locked vault she'd place around her heart. He'd started in her brain, becoming a part of her work, then reunited her with her brother, then being there… just being there when she'd lost her mother.
Yes. Brennan's mother had disappeared when she was fifteen, but it had been that day in May when she'd actually lost her mom. And Booth had understood that. He'd come… he'd brought food. He'd been an ear and a shoulder… he'd been a friend.
Sully had been a wonderful guy. He'd helped Brennan move past some of the barriers she'd erected. But she'd never loved him. No… even then there was someone else occupying space in her heart. He'd wormed his way in, bit by bit, inch by inch; with each case, each conflict, each guy hug.
The heat had always been there. From the very first case, when she'd tried to tell him who the murderer was and what weapon was used, and he'd completely dismissed her. It had been there on the Cleo Eller case, when he'd backed her up against the wall in the shooting range. He could have taken her right there against the wall, and she would have thanked him for it.
No… the sexual chemistry had never been an issue between them. It was like some strange electromagnetic pulse that knocks out localized currents all around them. If you could harness that power, God only knew what you could accomplish.
The heat had always been there, then the respect, then the friendship, then the trust and caring, and at some point, in the midst of it all, was the love. The love she hadn't been willing to see or acknowledge for so long.
Brennan sighed deeply as his hand continued to caress her leg absently. Her head dropped back against the seatback. When she'd been left standing at the alter with Booth at Angela's wedding, it was the first time she even suspected things had gone too far.
The iconic image of them in front of all those people at an alter… it shouldn't have bothered her the way it did. It had frightened her because, for just the briefest second, it felt good. It felt right.
Temperance Brennan had no expectations of getting married. It was an archaic practice that only served to artificially tie you to another human being. One that you were statistically likely to hate in less than 8 years.
But marriage was something that was important to Booth… wasn't it? His hand slipped down to cover hers and squeezed. It was as if he knew exactly where her mind had gone and he wanted to reassure her that it would be okay. That somehow, someway they'd work through it together.
That's what he'd tell her… wasn't it? That they could solve anything together; any case, any problem, any crisis. They could solve it as long as they were together.
She didn't need to hear the word from him, though he'd whispered it in the dark as he spilled himself within her.
Most people say that you can't believe a man when he says 'I love you' during sex. It was just another form of foreplay for them; just another tool in their arsenal. But Brennan knew that it was the one place Seeley Booth felt safe saying it. When they were connected; when he was deep inside of her and they were one.
She also knew that that word was going to have to come out of the darkness. They were going to have to shine a light on it, and speak its name. Then she'd be forced to tell him all the things that were in her heart. How deeply he'd entrenched himself there.
The idea of it should have frightened her, and she did shudder a bit. Booth turned up the heat and resumed his caresses. She hadn't shuddered from fear. She thought she might actually be ready to have that conversation, because she knew he was right. She knew they could figure it out- together.
Booth- Those people- role-playing and their fetishes and their little sex games- It's crappy sex. Well, at least compared to the real thing.
Brennan- You're right.
Booth- Yeah, but- Wait a second, I just won that argument?
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Ah Yes… It is a terrifying thing to try to crawl inside the mind of Temperance Brennan. I hope I did her justice. The next chapter should be up in a few days, it's 70 complete. Thanks again to Ms. M!!
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Matt Kearney - All I Need
And if all we've got, is what no one can break,
I know I love you, if that's all we can take,
the tears are coming down, they're mixing with the rain,
I know I love you, if that's all we can take.
A pool is running for miles on the concrete ground
We're eight feet deep and the rain is still coming down
The TV's playing it all out of town
We're grabbing at the fray for something that won't drown