Disclaimer: Of course I own Naruto. That's why I write fanfiction.

A/N: Lunchroom comedy. You won't find much seriousness here, I promise you. All of that comes next chapter. Itachi makes an appearance, Kisame is briefly mentioned (Kisame lovers beware, you may not like what happens ;D) and Jiraiya reads more porn.

Thank you to all who reviewed!! You all hold a special place in my heart.

Special Thanks to:

Ehwinn – Thank you so much for the fanart!! I love you T/\T

ExplodingChickenOfDoom – The first one to review my story, thank you for your support

Darkness-Ninja-Princess – For noticing the everlasting bond between Sasuke and Naruto

and

PyroD – For waiting eagerly to see how exactly Naruto's song would capture Gaara's heart.

Whew, what a long author's note. Sorry for my ramblings. Read on!!

Chapter Four: Lunchroom Chaos! Teacher-Student Relations and A Meeting of Peers

Recap:

Fourth period passed in a haze of blondeness and Gaara spacing out repeatedly. Fifth period was relatively peaceful compared to all the other classes, since the blonde was nowhere in sight.

Unfortunately for Gaara, it was over much too soon and lunch came. To his utmost surprise (NOT) Naruto was waiting for him outside his classroom and grinning from ear to ear.

"HAAAIII there Gaara!!! Did you miss me??" Gaara mentally groaned for what felt like the millionth time and stalked down to the cafeteria, Naruto following him and chattering incessantly. Gaara ground his teeth. If Naruto didn't resemble a fox so much, he would have sworn that his new blonde leech was part golden retriever or something.

Or maybe a combination of all three. (Leech, Fox, Retriever…wahahaha)

Naruto dragged Gaara over to a long, rectangular blue table where a gaggle of teens were already eating and yelling at Choji for eating the last potato chip. Gaara closed his eyes and counted to ten. Must…not…kill…self…or…Naruto…Must…not….kill…

"Oi, dobe, who's your new boy toy?" asked an attractive boy with an odd hairstyle that oddly resembled a duck's ass. Naruto gave him the finger and stuck out his tongue childishly.

"Shut the fuck up, teme!! Gaara's my new friend!!"

"He won't be for much longer. I saw you hanging all over him during classes. I'm surprised you haven't talked his ear off yet. If you're not careful he'll fuck your brains out just to shut you up."

"Not a bad idea…" Gaara muttered unintentionally. He clapped one hand over his mouth and blushed a little. Everyone laughed, and even the duck-butt hair guy cracked a smile.

"Come on, Gaara, sit, sit," chirped Yuki, flipping her long red hair out of her face. "We're gonna have a couple more people joining us soon, so it might get a bit cramped…meeeeeep!!"

Yuki toppled out of her seat and the tall, crimson-eyed man that had suddenly appeared behind her smirked ever so slightly.

"Now really, Yuki," he said in a voice as smooth as silk, "such a klutzy young woman…"

"Oh shut the fuck up, Itachi!!" said the girl indignantly, scrambling back into her seat and bopping Naruto on the head for laughing too loudly. "You know full well that you're not supposed to poke my sides!!!

"Why, I was not aware of that fact," said Itachi in a futile attempt to look innocent. He took the empty seat next to Yuki and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I missed you."

"Bullshit," said Yuki lightly, pulling on Itachi's long black hair. "I was with you last night." Gaara coughed lightly into his hand and Yuki glowered at him. There was another collective laugh at the table.

"Don't worry, Naruto, my brother hasn't tainted your Yuki yet. I made sure to camp outside their door to make sure they weren't doing anything naughty."

"Oh, is that why you refused to pleasure me last night?" said Yuki in a tone of mock hurt. Itachi took on a somber expression and placed his hand over his heart (black hole?).

"Alas, yes, my darling. I had no wish to allow my brother to witness the intensity of our love. If only he weren't a prying jackass—"

"I hate you," muttered Sasuke as Naruto squirted milk from his nose, giggling like a fool. A blonde girl and a pink-haired one were trying hard to stifle their laughter. A boy with strange, pupil-less lilac eyes suddenly stiffened.

"Uh oh," he muttered, just loud enough for everyone to hear. "I have that feeling again…"

Gaara could feel something too, and he had a sneaking suspicion that it was the 'feeling' that the weird eye boy had been talking about. It was oddly green…and shiny…and full of truth….and…

"YOUTHFUL!!!!!!!!!!" shouted a loud voice from behind Yuki. Gaara turned and found himself staring at a boy dressed in an odd green jumpsuit. His black hair was in a bowl cut and his eyes were very round and beady. The boy continued ranting, holding his lunch tray in a firm, truthful grip as he pumped his other fist in the air.

"Such a youthful display of affection!! To think that you have been together for two years and are still as loving as ever!!! To think that such a relationship can exist between a student and a teacher—"

"What?" said Gaara suddenly, interrupting the boy's rant. Green jumpsuit boy stopped talking and stared at the redhead for a few seconds.

"I am so sorry!! I did not realize that we have a beautiful, youthful new student at our lunch table!! Hello my name is Rock Lee!!! You may call me Lee!! And yes, Yuki is a student here!!! Itachi is the Art teacher!!!!"

Gaara tried to ignore all the exclamation points and instead turned to Itachi. "You're the art teacher?"

Itachi smirked and hugged Yuki to his chest. "Yes. And you're Gaara, I presume? I'll be seeing you next period."

"Oh sweet, you have the same Art period that I do!!" squealed Yuki. Gaara again raised a nonexistent eyebrow and looked at his boxed lunch.

"Anyway!" said Naruto once Lee had been seated. "Yuki's sex life or lack thereof aside—(here he was hit on the head by an annoyed Yuki), everyone say hi to Gaara!!"

There was a loud chorus of "Hello" and people started introducing themselves to the redheaded boy. The pink-haired girl who sat across from Lee was Sakura and her blonde friend (or were they rivals?) was Ino. The one with the duck-butt hairstyle was Sasuke, Itachi's little brother. Weird-eyes boy was Neji, and his cousin, who sat across from Naruto and who also had the same lilac eyes, was Hinata. She was very shy and quiet. The one eating large amounts of food was Choji, and the boy sleeping next to him was Shikamaru. Or as Naruto called him, the "lazy ass".

Another boy with red triangle tattoos on his cheeks was introduced as Kiba.

"And this is my boyfriend, Shino!!" said Kiba happily, grabbing a hoodie-clad boy in a half-headlock. Shino, who also wore a turtleneck and sunglasses, didn't respond.

Gaara nodded in acknowledgement to all of them and chatter started up. He caught bits and pieces of the conversation as he nibbled at his cucumber rolls.

"I'm so failing math this year—"

"Hey, Shikamaru, do you want your sandwich or can I have it—"

"Gaara?"

"Oh my god, have you heard? Genma asked Iruka out—"

"No way. I always thought he had it bad for Hayate?"

"Gaara?"

Gaara snapped back to reality. He looked around confusedly and saw Naruto staring at him.

"Do you?"

Gaara blinked. "Do I what?"

"Do you know Mr. Hatake?" the blonde asked. "He said something about not expecting to see you again so soon. What was that all about?"

"Oh," mumbled Gaara. "He, ah, that is…knows my ah, brother."

"Kakashi is screwing your brother Kankuro?" asked Yuki. Gaara choked on his food and an uproar blasted from all sides. Milk and food was squirted out of noses and mouths as a collective "WHAT???!!!" rose up.

"H-how did you know my brother was named Kankuro? Wait, how did you know he was….erm…seeing him?" Gaara's eyes were watering. Luckily, he wore waterproof eyeliner.

"Well, I was sneaking around the teacher's lounge so that I could squirt soy sauce on Kisame," said Yuki, "and I heard Kakashi talking to the vice principal, Jiraiya."

OMJEZUS a freaking Flashback!! Dattebayo!!

Kakashi leaned back on the plush sofa. "Man, I'm beat. I should really take it easy."

"What are you talking about you fool?" asked a man with silvery-white hair and red tattoos on his cheeks. He looked to be in his late forties or early fifties. Blood was dripping out of his nose as he read a book with an orange cover. Yuki stared at him. The vice principal sure was a pervert.

"I had some of the best sex ever last night, that's what, Jiraiya," said Kakashi smugly. Jiraiya looked up from his book, slightly interested.

"Oh?"

"Yes, oh. He was a hot piece of ass, too. He's a senior here. Kankuro, the brother of the kid who transferred in today."

"Kankuro? He's been marked down as absent today. What the hell did you do to the poor boy, Kakashi?" Jiraiya smirked and resumed reading his book as Kakashi fell silent, a goofy grin presumably on his face as he reminisced on just what the hell he did to the poor boy. Yuki mimed gagging and snuck off to the marine biology room.

End of Flashback

"Ah ha. So that's why Kankuro chose to skip the first day of school," mused Gaara. He scowled. Naruto stared at him.

"So did you manage to douse Kisame in soy sauce?" asked Itachi mildly, seemingly ignoring the conversation.

"Fifth period," snickered Yuki. "The worst possible time for him, since it's right before lunch and everyone's hungry as hell. And I hung a sign above his head. Everyone practically attacked him."

"Oh? What did the sign say?"

"'Free Sushi'," she answered. Itachi chuckled softly.

"But how in the name of all that is unholy did you manage to do that?" asked Sakura, enraptured by her story.

Yuki waggled her finger at the pink-haired girl. "Trade secret," she said. Everyone laughed.

The bell rang at that moment, and everyone scrambled to throw away their trash and get to their next classes. Yuki grabbed Gaara's hand and pulled him away from the crowd.

"See ya later, Naruto!!" she yelled. The blonde waved in acknowledgement and scampered off. "Hinata, Shikamaru, remember that we're studying in my room tomorrow night!!" The shy girl and the "lazy ass" nodded and went on their way. "Let's go, Gaara, time for art."

Gaara was still in a state of semi-shock at all of this. His first day in this school, and already he was a part of a large group. He had friends. Didn't he? Wasn't all of this what it meant to have friends? Being included, joking around, telling stories?

Was this what it was like to be included?

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A/N: OMJeezus, what a long chapter of nothingness D: I'm sorry that nothing really happened, and I'm also sorry if I'm going to fast with utterly destroying Gaara's personality, courtesy of Konoha High School. The next chapter has very little, if any, Naruto in it. It's purely Gaara/Yuki friendship time. I promise, they are not a couple!! ItachiYuki all the way!! Plus next chapter is kinda emo and corny, so please bear with me.

I don't like saying this, but please review!! I don't want to pressure anyone but…PLEASE PLEASE FEED MY PLOT BUNNIES THEY ARE NIBBLING MY BRAIN CELLS D: Lolz XD

Next Chapter: Pencils to Paper: How Deep Must You Penetrate A Soul To Understand Its Pain?