Disclaimer:
Yuki – She doesn't own Naruto. The author-ess does, however, own me.
Itachi – To a much lesser extent than I, of course. o/w\o
A/N: The chapter names just keep getting longer and longer, don't they…
I apologize to those who wanted and/or expected GaaNaru in this chapter, but please bear with me. Naruto comes up very little, if at all. It's mostly Gaara/Yuki friendship time, but the main point of this chapter is to illustrate (no pun intended) the similarities between Yuki, Gaara, and Naruto. In the roundabout, confusing sort of way that is part of my style. . I hate myself sometimes. ;
Chapter Four: Pencils to Paper: How Deep Must You Penetrate A Soul To Understand Its Pain?
Recap:
"Let's go, Gaara, time for art."
Gaara was still in a state of semi-shock at all of this. His first day in this school, and already he was a part of a large group. He had friends. Didn't he? Wasn't all of this what it meant to have friends? Being included, joking around, telling stories?
Was this what it was like to be included?
"La la la," sang Yuki as the trio headed down the hallway. They finally turned the corner and walked into the Art room. Gaara had to admit that he was impressed.
The walls were covered with paintings done by students. Collages, watercolors, acrylics, you name it, it was there. There were a few sculptures around the place, mostly birds. Yuki explained that the pottery teacher had "donated" them to "brighten up" the room. She rolled her eyes and mumbled something about having to check for explosives. Gaara was suitably confused.
"Come on! Sit with me," chirped Yuki brightly, pushing Gaara over to a doodle-covered table in the front. Students started filing in, but Yuki paid them no mind. She was too busy bothering Gaara. Needless to say, he was bloody overjoyed. (Note the author-ess' masterful use of sarcasm there.)
The bell rang and everyone was instantly silent. Well, it would have been absolutely silent, except for a faint ticking noise. Yuki stiffened and swore loudly, jumping out of her seat and running to the sculptures scattered around the room. She put her ear to each one and ran her hands along their surfaces, looking for something. In the space of two minutes, she had a small pile of tiny bombs in her hand. Seething, she stalked out the door and walked next door. Everyone in the classroom waited for the inevitable, and they were not disappointed.
"WHAT THE FUCK DEIDARA!!! STOP PLANTING FUCKING BOMBS IN THE FUCKING SCULPTURES!!! I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF ART IS A FUCKING BANG, IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS I WILL PERSONALLY SHOVE THESE BOMBS DOWN YOUR PANTS AND BLOW YOUR FUCKING BALLS OFF!!!!!!!!!!"
Yuki stomped back into the room just as a small explosion was set off in the other room. A faint cry of "Art is a bang, un!!" was heard just before Yuki slammed the door shut.
Absolute silence.
"Thank you, Yuki," said Itachi dryly. "You may be seated."
"Thank you, Mr. Uchiha," said Yuki. She sat next to Gaara and smiled at him. "Hi there!"
Gaara stared.
"Welcome back to Konoha High, everyone. I trust everyone who was in Art last year will remember me. We have a new student today, Gaara. Make him feel welcome, everyone."
Everyone heard the unspoken "or else" at the end of his sentence.
"Today we'll be doing a special assignment. You will all close your eyes and draw on your paper, without thinking about what you are doing. Halfway into the period I will come around to see how you are doing. During the last twenty minutes you will have time to talk amongst yourselves and do a personality analysis based on each other's artwork. You may begin as soon as you have your materials."
Yuki got two large sheets of paper and placed them on the table, sliding one over to Gaara. He blinked his thanks and got a pencil from his bookbag. Both students closed their eyes and shut out all other noise, retreating far into their minds. Yuki's pencil traced invisible lines in the air above her paper, waiting for her subconscious to take over completely. Gaara had already started, his pencil flying over the paper.
Halfway through, Itachi slowly glided about the aisles, glancing at his student's artwork. He got a slightly troubled look on his face as he passed by Gaara's table, but it quickly evaporated. He sighed.
Ten more minutes ticked by. "All right, class," Itachi said loudly. "That's enough. Partner up and talk about each other's artwork only."
Yuki shook her head and yawned widely. She wiped a tear away from the corner of her eye. "Aargh, I feel so tired. Woah, that's really good, Gaara!!"
Gaara had drawn a surreal scene, with dying trees and broken glass littering the barren ground. A dead phoenix lay next to a decaying unicorn, and an impossibly thin, starving human was picking at their corpses. What Yuki supposed was blood was pooling all around the three figures, soaking the ground, dripping down the human's face. Everything was realistically styled. Yuki was impressed.
"Wow…that's so good. You're such a good artist, Gaara!" Gaara said nothing, but simply pulled Yuki's drawing over to him.
Yuki's picture was more of an anime style. There was a woman embracing the moon right in the middle of the picture, crying blood. A small boy was peering up at the onlooker with pupil-less eyes, surrounded by skulls. He had a slight smile on his face. Butterflies dotted the entire portrait. A smiling girl was holding a stuffed rabbit covered in stitches. The rabbit had a nail driven through its head, and in the shadows behind the girl, the Grim Reaper prepared to slice into her with a bloody scythe. A man with innumerable wounds and blood dripping from all over his body stood perfectly straight, his head tilted to the left. He was dead. A teenage boy, slimmer and more feminine, embraced the dead man loosely around the waist. His eyes were bandaged and he appeared to be crying blood.
Gaara said nothing.
"Shall I go first then?" said Yuki cheerfully. "Let's see…from what I can see, you've been through a lot of pain."
Gaara said nothing.
"The dying trees suggest that you never had much of a chance to flourish, that much is apparent. The trees are scraggly and thin, and small. They didn't have a chance."
Yuki paused. "The barren ground also sends a clear message of malnutrition, in a sense. The trees can't grow in this ground, in this environment, and neither could you. The broken glass shows that you're…" Yuki swallowed. "…shattered." There was a very long silence.
"The dead phoenix shows your state of mind." Pause. "Phoenixes are reborn from the ashes every five hundred years. In other words, they represent rebirth, starting over. The fact that this phoenix isn't coming back shows your hopelessness. You don't think that you can start over and make something better of your life. Lack of hope."
Gaara said nothing.
"Unicorns represent purity and innocence. The fact that this is dead means you don't have faith in goodness or purity. And the starving human picking at them…means that you don't have faith in human kindness." Yuki leaned back in her chair, head tilted slightly. "Humans are evil."
Gaara said nothing.
"But then again, what do I know? I'm not in Psychology I yet," laughed Yuki.
"It's a very accurate analysis," said Gaara quietly. Yuki looked at him with sadness in her eyes.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
More silence.
"You have a very flexible style," stated Gaara quietly. "Here it's more anime-like," he said, pointing to the small boy and the girl with the rabbit. "And over here," he continued, pointing to the dead man and the woman, "It's still an anime style, but realistic. It shows that you're able to adapt well." He continued, "The woman hugging the moon is crying blood, showing that there's pain that cannot be immediately seen." Naruto's voice drifted unbidden through his mind as an image of a smiling Yuki appeared in his mind's eye.
It makes it hard to believe that she was an uber outcast at our middle school.
Gaara paused.
"You try to hide the pain you feel by appearing cheerful and shutting it out completely, busying yourself with other things. For example, aesthetically appealing things, such as the moon here. The fact that there are people smiling despite the air of hopelessness and despair in this drawing just confirms it. You're optimistic, or try to be, no matter what."
Yuki said nothing.
"This boy…is he blind?" Yuki nodded ever so slightly. "He's smiling, even though he's blind. He can't see the skulls, the death, around him. And this girl is smiling too, even though Death is right behind her. Her rabbit has been mutilated, but she still holds it tightly. You hold on to memories in the same way, even if they're ones you'd rather forget. Especially the ones you wish you'd forget. You couldn't forget them if you tried."
Yuki said nothing.
"The dead man is standing straight, defiantly, as if to say 'I'm still here, you can't kill me'. You don't ever give up, even when you know you've lost. And the boy here…he shows that you're…lost and confused. Or in denial. He won't admit that the man is dead, so he's bandaged his eyes so he can't' see the blood and the wounds. He refuses to accept that and still holds him close to his body, not wanting to leave."
The bell rang.
Yuki wordlessly scooped up her books and drawing, rolling it up into a scroll and securing it with a rubber band she hand hanging from her wrist. When she got to the door, she looked back at the silent redhead. "Gaara?" There were tears in her eyes.
Gaara stared emotionlessly.
"You should know that if Naruto had done this assignment, he would have drawn something very similar to mine." A small smile, and then Yuki was gone.
Gaara slowly gathered his things and walked to his next class, in a pensive mood. His first day in Konoha High, and already he was confused.
There was a small list of things that Gaara knew for sure:
One: His English teacher was fornicating (shudder) with his older brother.
Two: Naruto was annoying.
Three: Yuki and aforementioned blonde were kickass singers.
Four: He had a headache.
and Five: There was more to Naruto than he let on. A lot more.
"Gaara!! Dinner!!" yelled Temari from the kitchen.
"I'll eat later!" he yelled back from his room. He shut the door and locked it, then crossed the room and stared at the dusky night sky. A shining crescent moon hung from the heavens. He closed his eyes. That night, there had been a crescent moon too…
Gaara shivered and hugged himself tightly. "So that you'd…love me again…love…me…" he whispered over and over. A silent tear escaped and dripped onto his leg, soaking into the soft fabric of his pants.
--xx--
Yuki rinsed her long hair vigorously, massaging her scalp to get all the shampoo out. The shower was steaming hot; it only got this hot when she needed to clear her mind. Still, it wasn't working. Unconsciously, she touched the scar on her shoulder blade, gripping it tightly. The memories wouldn't fade.
--xx--
Itachi and Sasuke Uchiha stared out of their respective windows, absentmindedly staring at the moon and the stars. They stared at the same sky, a long distance apart, sharing the same tragic memories.
--xx--
Naruto lay on his bed, trying to get some sleep. But sleep wouldn't come easy. it was taunting him, just out of his reach. Making him stay awake and reflect on the past, full of regrets and hurt. He shivered, despite the layers and layers of blankets he was piled under. He traced the whisker-like scars on his cheeks and curled up into a ball. Maybe his pain would lull him to sleep, he thought dejectedly.
On that first day back at Konoha High, they each sat in their homes, away from the populace, away from friends, alone with nothing to comfort them but bad memories. They held their pain deep within their hearts, within their souls, locked away in a box that only opened when no one else was there.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N: Oh my god. I hate this chapter with a burning passion. But it's sort of needed, especially the end bit. How else to portray the emotions of Yuki and Gaara? How else to make Gaara realize that Naruto is not made of pure ADHD? How else to give tiny bite-sized pieces of the character's tragic pasts to the readers, like dangling bait off a fishhook? HOW ELSE TO SET THIS MEANINGLESS AND UTTERLY CLICHE'D PLOT IN MOTION???!! HOW ELSE-- -shot shot shot- The next chapter is far better, I promise.
PS. I have no clue how they managed to draw such detailed pictures with their eyes closed. I mean, yeah, they're very sketchy, but they put so MUCH in the damn drawings. They must be kickass artists. Speaking of artists, I had fun making Yuki yell at Deidara XD;;;.
Next chapter: Can I Love Again? A Desert Rose Does Not Prick A Golden Nightingale?
EDIT: I have decided not to update this story until I get a secret number of reviews. I never thought I'd resort to this, but there ya go. Please, PLEASE review, I hate saying it because it sounds like I'm nagging, but I need to know if people like this story and if it's worth it for me to continue. So until that secret number is hit, no updates...and no fluffy GaaNaru.
EDIT#2: Like the stupid dumpling that I am, I didn't know how to enable anonymous reviews. -shoots self- But now they are enabled, so please, please, review.