By Selim
Rating: M
Summary: It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.
Disclaimer: I do not own FullMetal Alchemist Pairings: Roy + Edward
Thank you: (FF) Syao9, Demonskid, Evil Ball of Fluff, Gothic-InuFluffy, PuppylovePyro, InuyasanKagomerlovers, Kane-Chan, KissMehYaoiLuvinArse, Mikayasha, Ash982cute4u, Meiko8804 (AFF) SLEEPLESS, Fly, Nomdeplume, Dana, Of Apples and Honey, VadMustang, Amethyst-Eyed-Koneko, SkippingAlice, and MacMac
NOTES: A lot of people have asked why this story is put where it's suppose to be and, on AFF, why there are no warnings. Mostly because some of the warnings may just scare people away and assume that Roy's going to do them. Yes, this fic will get to the rating of M with Child Molestation and it's not Roy who will be doing it, but Ed will get molested. The idea that it's going to happen is in this chapter.
About the pairing. Roy + Ed. There is a suggestion that the two will be together or have been together. I haven't really decided. Right now, LITTLE Ed's feelings are based on Ed's feelings, but he can't understand them. Though it hasn't shown yet, Ed will show an 'idealistic' complex that there are feelings for Roy but he mislabels them. From there, we'll have to see where they go. Sorry if any of this confuses you.
On the very top shelf was this very colorful red book and Ed wanted it really badly because anything that was that colorful had to have equally vibrant pictures. Looking around the room, he noted a brunet woman putting books away off to the side but decided against asking her to get the book off the top shelf because Roy had told him not to be a trouble to anyone. Besides he was four! He was grown up enough to get his own book! So with new resolve, the child began his climb to the very top shelf.
The first few steps were easy and his feet fit perfectly on each board until he made it halfway and his body (and the shelf) began moving. Clutching hold on the shelf above him, Ed screamed as the bookcase went down. It didn't collide with the ground, instead hitting a bookshelf before that. After a second, the next bookshelf went down and Ed screamed. On the ground, the blond stared at the mess that had just happened and squeaked. The librarian was far ahead, frantically looking at the mess. In the matter of seconds Ed was out of the room, the book he wanted long forgotten.
In the hallway, the small blond took off down the hall and into the bathroom. Mister Roy won't think I caused the mess now! He ran into a stall next to the urinals and latched a lock behind him. Safe. Smiling, Ed turned around to his new surroundings and gasped. Reaching over he grabbed a roll of paper near the toilet and spread it before himself. What was this for? To clean themselves? Ed sucked on his tongue. His mom had a rag in some fresh water near the outhouse. So that made much sense. Excited, Ed put the paper in the toilet. He'd heard that this stuff could be flushed!
After dumping the entire roll into the toilet, Ed flushed the paper and watched with excitement as the water vanished down the hole with some of the paper before it all stopped. Water began to fill up and pour over the rim. Stepping back, Ed squealed and ran out of the bathroom. And into a suit of armor. "Ed, were you in the library a second ago?" A concerned voice asked.
"No!" Ed cried, tears pouring down the rims of his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Al bent down and put his large hands on the child's shoulders.
Clamping his mouth shut, the small blond rushed past the large man and into the back office where Roy would be located. In the office, the man glanced up from his papers confused by Ed's entrance, but didn't mention anything as the child rushed to the other side of the desk and hid under the table. A second later, Al's voice came into the room from a distant location, "What have you done, Ed!"
Looking under his desk, Roy frowned. "What did you do now?"
"I wanted a book."
"Did you ask for help to get it?"
Ed fell silent. "That paper doesn't go down." He finally said, Roy blinked. "Mister Nelson told mommy that they made bathroom paper that can be flushed down – but mommy doesn't have a flushing toilet. You have flushing paper but it didn't go down." The child pulled his legs up and under his chin. Rubbing his eyes, Roy pulled his chair forward and locked the boy under the desk. Glancing up the man's leg, Ed put his chin on the older man's knee. It stiffened. "Mister Roy can I go out to play?"
"It's raining." Roy relaxed some and pulled his chair out. Ed shuffled into Roy's lap. "What time do you usually take a nap?" In the two days Ed had been a child, Roy realized, the boy had never once taken a nap like any other child would."
"I don't take naps," the child stifled a break in his voice. "Al takes naps. I'm a big boy." Roy rolled his eyes and picked the boy up. He had an emergency blanket and a pillow put out when they first arrived at work for just the occasion. Shuffling under the thin blanket, Ed kicked his feet up. Roy sighed and tucked the blanket tightly around the blond's small body as the sound of clanking neared his office door.
Leaning down to Ed's ear, Roy whispered, "Al will be here in a second. You can be awake to explain the mess you made here or you can go to sleep and let me make an excuse." Giggling, the child turned on his side away from Roy and closed his eyes. Sighing, Roy stood up and approached behind his desk when his office door was thrown open and almost five people stepped into the room. Al led the group inside the room and they surrounded the couch that Ed was hiding on. "What can I help you with?" Roy brought the attention towards him.
Al froze. "The bathroom is flooded."
"The library is thrown to bits!"
"Shelves toppled over!"
"The water is in the hall! Paperwork is damaged!"
"I just cleaned those rugs!"
Holding up his hand, Roy stopped the complaints immediately. Glaring over toward Ed's turned body, the colonel sighed. "I will punish him after his nap and have him help clean up what he can. The library will probably still be a mess by then. Have maintenance fix the toilet. Then begin cleaning the library." He frowned. "Dismissed." Four of the five left. Al faced Ed for a second, pulled the blanket up the boy's chest and stepped to the door.
"He, uh, we used to take naps at noon and mom would get us up at two. Then we went to bed just after dark – eight I think. I can't remember." Opening the door, he was gone and Roy sat back in his chair.
"You made quite the mess, didn't you?" Surprisingly the child didn't sit back up or move. The blankets did slump some and a sleeping, pale face was shown. For a second, Roy's lips coiled up to a smirk. So cute. "Hawkeye," the woman stepped into the door, "Do not forward any of my calls to my office. I'll come out there to take them. Also refrain from anyone coming in my office while Ed's asleep."
Glancing at the child, Hawkeye smiled. "Yes Colonel." She started towards the boy and tucked him in properly before heading towards the door with a giggle. "He's so cute when he's asleep." Roy smiled up in agreement. "Would you like me to tell the crap cook to set aside lunch for you and Ed?"
Turning to the sleeping child, Roy sighed. "No. Bring me something to eat and put aside a peanut butter sandwich for the kid, some fruit, and a cup of juice." He doubted Ed would be interested in the meals they were really eating there at central – dried out foods that had seen better days in the last war. And after the shopping spree to buy Ed clothing and things to live off of until they could fix this entire situation Roy didn't have the money to take Ed out for lunch everyday like he would when it was just himself. In the matter of minutes, Hawkeye had returned with his lunch, confirming that a child's meal was being made.
Pleased, Roy dismissed her and returned to his forms. He wasn't sure how long he was looking at the form, mindlessly picking at the instant potatoes that had been given to him, when the bundle began to stir on the makeshift bed. With a quick look at his clock, he noted it had only been an hour and not the two Al had mentioned the two usually had slept for. Golden eyes opened and blinked nervously before the child fell from the couch, grabbing his arm with a hiss. Almost as if it had grown to be too much, he let out an ear shattering scream as though he were being tortured. Roy was out of his seat and at the blonde's side in seconds. But it was like Ed didn't see him. Instead choosing to scream out for Roy – Colonel to be more precise. He threw his head back and screamed he was on fire. That he needed help. Someone save him before he collapsed on the floor again.
For a second, Roy was nervous about even touching the child or stirring the boy awake to see what the hell was going on. When shock finally wore off, he lifted the kid into his arms and sat up on the couch. Maybe it was like a night terror and he (the child) was reliving all of Ed's last thoughts. "Should I wake him...?"
"Maybe you should, Colonel." Havoc's voice cut in. Turning to the door, Roy growled. "Sorry, Ed started screaming and we were all concerned." Indeed everyone else close to Ed in the front office was standing at the door staring in. Al even looked concerned past his hollow form.
Running his fingers through Ed's blond hair, Roy watched as Ed stirred and rubbed his eyes. "How are you feeling, Ed?" He kept himself calm so he didn't frighte the sleepy child. The boy mumbled under his breath.
"I gotta go pee." Roy sighed and helped the boy onto his feet. Having learned from earlier experiences that, yeah, Ed could use the bathroom by himself but the boy couldn't be alone. Besides, Roy felt the need to pee, too. Expectantly, the child held out his hand and Roy led the boy into the bathroom. His office door closed and only Al remained in the room. Shutting the bathroom door, Roy watched as Ed sat on the toilet.
"What are you doing?"
"Goin' pee."
"That's not how you do it!" Roy found himself saying. The boy sobbed at the loudness of the man's voice. Helping Ed off the toilet, Roy turned Ed to face the toilet. "Follow my example," Roy said as he unzipped his pants and stood next to Ed, relieving himself. With wide eyes, Ed watched the entire scene unfold before him. Satisfied Roy used the toilet paper, cleaned the head and put the paper in the toilet. "Can you do the same?" Nodding eagerly, Ed followed suit, but with less aim. With more than needed, Ed wiped himself cleaned and under the instruction of Roy, cleaned the toilet seat. Done, Roy flushed and led Ed to the sink to wash their hands. Finally they opened the door to meet Al again.
"Hi Metal man!" Ed ran over and hugged the armored leg.
Al put a metal hand on Ed's head before nodding towards Roy. "Let's get you some lunch, then I have a big surprise for you." Confused, Ed looked back at Roy but the man just waved the child off. When the two were completely gone, Roy folded Ed's bedding before taking a seat at his desk. His phone began ringing, signaling it was time to go back to work.
The clock in his office chimed five when Ed came back sobbing. After spending some time explaining to the egotistical child that the adults were right in making him clean the library, Roy had packed up his things in a briefcase and took Ed's hand. The front room was cleared of all but Fuery, Havoc, and Hawkeye who were busy getting everything finished to head home for the evening as well. "I'm gone. What I haven't done I'm taking with me." He took Ed's hand, who hid behind his pantleg. "Where's Alphonse?"
To his surprise, it was Fuery that responded smoothly. "He made a comment about calling, uh, the Rockbell's to insure a, uh, mechanic could come when we need them."
"Wow! The Rockbells! You mean Pinako and Winry? Winry's my friend." Ed danced on his heels. "I want to make her a doll with alchemy. Can you teach me Mister Roy?" He grabbed Roy's hand.
Sighing, Roy rubbed his temples. "We'll talk about it." Nodding towards his officers, Roy left the office with the small Ed chasing after. He didn't feel like heading straight home at the time being. Not with the way Ed was everywhere. So Roy had it all planned out when a park just across the street from his apartment came into view fifteen minutes later. It wasn't much, a metal slide and a wood merry-totter. This was also a more upper class park as well, though there was regular dirt under the toys, on the far corner in a small box was imported sand from the beach that the city did keep up. Some children were already playing, three total. A little girl and her twin sister were making castles in the sand and a small boy was taking every chance he had to tear it down when they weren't looking. Excited, Ed glanced up for permission, Roy nodded.
With Ed playing with the other children, Roy sat himself on an old, rotting bench with a man. There were two other parents on the left, Roy assumed the parents of one of the kids. The man next to him smiled. "That your boy, the blond?"
Not feeling like telling the truth, Roy nodded. "Yeah. He's mine."
"Must look like his mother." The man commented before returning to his book Roy wasn't aware he had. Sighing, Roy opened his briefcase and pulled out several documents to work on. Why had he thought with Ed a child his amount of paperwork would disappear? Even as a child, all his papers had to be accident reports to the Fuhrer about why one of his state alchemists was sucking his thumb in his sleep now.
"Mister Roy..."
"...Yes Ed?" Roy glanced up. The park was empty except for the man that still was reading next to him.
"Can you play on the 'totter with me?" He whimpered, pointing towards the lone machine surrounded by dirt. Roy glanced at the old toy before at his paperwork. He'd barely brushed the surface of his paper and it was due in tomorrow. "Please?" Ed whined.
The man next to him smiled. "Your daddy's-"
"He's not my daddy." Ed puffed his cheeks furiously. Roy raised a brow. Interesting.
"Ah. We'll 'mister Roy' is busy with his work. How about I play with you on the merry-totter?" He put his book down on his seat. "Is this okay, uh... Mister Roy?" He tried. Frowning, Roy nodded. "Well let's go play Ed...ward? By the way, my names Tom Buttram." Taking the child's hand, he led Ed to the merry-totter and started playing. Roy watched the mechanism rise and fall as the two people talked amiably before he returned to his work.
The next time he glanced up, the sun was setting and Ed was squealing in delight. What he saw made his eyes widen because, as an adult, he didn't think the situation proper. Ed was going down the slide, completely sitting on the other man's lap. It looked...so wrong. Roy shoved his papers into his briefcase and stormed towards the slide. "Let's go Ed." He grasped the boy's hand and pulled the boy into his arms. Ed gasped and clutched tightly to Roy's neck in concern. "Good night, Mister Buttram." Roy left the play yard and crossed the empty street towards his apartment.
Confused, Ed whined until he was set on the ground at Roy's apartment door while the colonel fished in his pockets for his keys. "What's wrong, Mister Roy?"
Glancing down at the child, Roy blinked. How to explain what was so inappropriate to a four-year-old? He'd seen Ed sit on everyone's lap at work, but that man looked...excited. Horny. Roy sighed. "Look. That man there, I don't want you playing with him anymore. Now inside, let's start some dinner. What are you hungry for? Taking off his shoes at the door (Ed following the example) Roy shut and latched his front door before heading into the kitchen. Ed ran in behind, pulling a chair away from the table to sit.
Chewing his lips, Ed whispered that he didn't know. Going through the cabinets, Roy smiled. "How about spaghetti?" He asked. Ed smiled brightly and nodded. "Well get a bowl, fill it up with water." Turning on his gas stove, Roy supervised Ed on putting the well filled bowl on the stove as he went about getting noddles from the local bakery out of its protective shielding. Smiling, Ed brought his chair over to Roy and watched the pot heat up just in front of him. "A watched pot," Roy went on preparing sauce, "doesn't boil."
"Then what can I do?" Ed asked eagerly.
"Wash your hands and stir this mess while I cut tomatoes." Nodding, Ed turned on the faucet and sprayed water as he washed his sandy fingers. Reaching for the soap, it slid out of his hands a few times, Ed cleaned his nails before Roy shut off the faucet. Taking a rag, Ed dried his fingers before reaching for the bowl awkwardly. Sighing, Roy tugged the chair over so Ed wouldn't topple over. "Does your mom let you cook with her?"
"No."
"I see." Roy dropped the tomatoes into Ed's bowl with a warning about over stirring. Turning he added the noodles into the boiling water and turned down the temperature on his stove. Lifting the filled pan from Ed's hand, Roy put it on the other burner. "Would you set the table, Ed?"
Nodding, Ed opened all the cabinets before bringing out two plates. He then opened another cabinet and pulled out two cups. Roy fetched the silverware for Ed so all his drawers wouldn't be opened and rummaged through. Smiling his thanks, Ed hurried to set the table before rushing down the hall. Frowning, Roy yelled for Ed to wash his hands again after the toilet flushed. Returning, Ed giggled as he opened the refrigerator and pulled out the milk (freshly bought, much to Roy's annoyance). He filled Roy's cup with milk before moving to put water in his cup.
Putting the milk away, Roy finished dinner in a few minutes and the two ate in somewhat silence. Together they cleaned the dishes, Ed took a bath and came down dressed in some of Roy's old PT uniform. Jumping on the couch Ed screeched for the radio to come on, so he could listen to his favorite radio show. Upon hearing its name, Roy had to sit down and explain a depressing story that it didn't reach this section of the world where, in truth, the show was canceled on the eve of the boy's twelfth birthday. So, they settled for a detective story about some alchemist that was also a spy for the red army trying to solve the crimes of his friends. Roy called it blasphemy, understanding a lot of the under tones, where Ed thought it was the greatest thing in the world. When his clock chimed eight, he lifted Ed into his arms and brought the boy upstairs.
"Do I get to sleep in your bed tonight?" The child asked.
"Yes. This way I know you're not answering the door at random hours of the day." Roy tucked the blankets around Ed's form. Grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from his closet, Roy almost shut the door when Ed squealed about it being too dark. Defeated, he left the door opened, went down stairs, and set up a bed on the couch for himself before returning to the last form to do. Last, he recorded that days events before calling it a night.