Disclaimer: ...you should all know this by now...

A/N: YOSH I AM BACK FROM TEH DEAD :D Ahem...anyway...

This is unrelated, but my ItaNaru oneshot 'At the Black Rose Nightclub' was oddly popular...I was shocked, but in a good way. :D On the other end of the bendy straw, 'The Pursuit of Happyness' hit rock bottom!!!! Only one review! So say bye bye to it--it's just a waste of space. I'll probably change the story of it and re-post it sometime later, to see if people like the revised version.

Enough of my babbling, I now bring you crack. XD

Chapter Eight: Fakeout or Makeout? Seven Minutes In Heaven, and the Clock is Ticking (Part Two)

Recap:

"This is boring," said Kankuro disgustedly. "Let's play something else."

"Like what?" asked Kiba. To tell the truth, he was raring for a little action as well.

"How about Seven Minutes In Heaven?" Deidara splurted his drink out all over Kisame.

"What, un?! You dirty boy, un!!" he said accusingly, pointing at Kankuro. The Sand sibling shrugged.

"It's an amusing game, especially when the people get carried away and start making weird noises." Gaara shook his head. What a pervert...

"OK, I'll go first," said Ame, spinning the empty sake bottle...and almost fainting when it landed on Deidara.

"Ame, you lucky girl, go make a man out of DeiDei!" roared Kisame, smacking her hard on the back. She stumbled a bit and walked zombie-like to the closet, Deidara close behind. The door was shut and instantly everyone crowded around.

"How long has it been?" whispered Reiji. Kankuro checked his watch.

"Three minutes, fifty-four seconds." A loud moan escaped the closet and Naruto almost fell over.

"I don't believe this!" he hissed. "I always thought Ame was the only innocent one out of all of us!!" Sasuke smirked.

"Looks can be decieving, dobe." Naruto pouted cutely and Gaara felt a strange sensation stir in his stomach.

The closet door opened and out came a very dishevled looking Ame, who was blushing furiously. Deidara followed close behind, looking equally dishevled but quite content.

"That was only five minutes and thirty-three seconds!" said Kiba indignantly. And you didn't make out until almost four minutes into it!!!

"Correction; you didn't hear us making out until four minutes into it, un," said Deidara smugly. Kiba's mouth dropped open and Ame hid behind Hinata shyly.

"At any rate, who's next?" said Temari, eager to get on with the game. Kiba, Temari and Lee wanted to go next, so a quick game of rock-paper-scissors decided. Kiba whooped.

"Sweet!! Finally some action!!" he yelled, spinning the sake bottle hard. Around and around and around and around and around...

"Nice catch, Kankuro!!" laughed Temari, slapping her younger brother hard on the back. "Go get 'im, tiger!" The two perverted brunettes grinned ferally at each other and slammed the closet door behind them. Loud bangings and moans were heard almost immediately and Ino rolled her eyes.

"So much for foreplay," she muttered as the groans and lusty moans continued. Sai was practically drooling, imagining all the dirty things the two were doing; and various people (namely Kisame and Yuki) were giggling madly.

Seven and a half hot and steamy minutes later, Kiba and Kankuro emerged, both looking extremely happy and windswept. Yuki sniffed the air delicately.

"You two smell like sex," she said bluntly. Kankuro smiled sheepishly.

"What can I say?"

"Don't say anything," warned TenTen. "She'll probably make a doujinshi out of this if you do." Yuki smiled craftily and spun the sake bottle.

"Uh..." Never in all his life had the Hyuuga male said anything so ineloquent in his life. Until now, with the mouth of the sake bottle pointing straight at him.

"C'mon, big boy, our turn in 'Heaven'!!" giggled Yuki giddily, skipping over to the closet. Neji cast a surreptitious glance at Itachi, who caught it and smirked, nodding his head towards Yuki. Neji slowy walked to the closet of doom and gently shut the door.

"Wow, Itachi, I would have thought you'd kill Neji before letting him touch your girlfriend," said Ame in awe. Itachi shrugged.

"It's all in good fun. I trust Yuki." Kiba, Kankuro and Temari were all listening in on the silent closet.

"I think I heard a moan," said Kiba, pressing his ear harder against the door. "It sounded like Yuki."

"How do you know how Yuki sounds when she moans?" asked Sasuke a little suspiciously.

"C'mon, that brother of yours molests her in front of us enough. Of course we'd recognize her moan. Now shut up, I can't hear anything."

"Dude, what is Yuki doing?" asked Temari in awe. "Did you guys hear that?" The two boys nodded.

"What?" asked Itachi disinterestedly.

"Neji just moaned her name so loudly," said Temari, grinning. Itachi said nothing but strode over to the closet and yanked the door open.

Yuki stopped kissing Neji long enough to grin at her boyfriend craftily. "Miss me?" she asked.

"What did you do that made Neji say your name so loudly?" Itachi said bluntly. Neji turned an attractive shade of pink and Yuki giggled.

"Let's just say that he's very sensitive to touch in his chest area," said Yuki, pulling the strap of her tank top up from where it had slipped down her shoulder. Neji took his revenge and poked Yuki hard in her side. She fell to the ground with a squeal and a loud thump and lay on the floor, twitching slightly. Itachi sighed and smiled, picking up his girlfriend and throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes (I doubt Itachi's ever picked up a sack of potatoes in his life, but that's besides the point).

"It's Naruto's turn now," declared Lee, pushing the blonde towards the sake bottle of doom.

"Where did you get that idea, Lee?" asked the blonde boy indignantly.

"Because you are eternally youthful and you deserve a chance at 'Heaven', yosh!" exclaimed the energetic boy. "Now spin!!!!" Naruto rolled his eyes and spun the bottle...

Awkward silence.

Gay babies.

A fox...and a tanuki.

The bottle was pointing right at Gaara.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: Eh...short chapter? I'm sorry TT

But it all gets made up in the next chapter!!! GAANARU LOVINS

What do you get when you cross a fox and a tanuki? I'll tell you what...two hot anime boys smexin' each other up in an OC's closet.

Now excuse me while I go have a massive nosebleed in my bathroom; blood takes a hella long time to come out of carpet.

Next Chapter: Fakeout or Makeout? Seven Minutes in Heaven, and the Clock is Ticking (Part Three)