Thanks to all who reviewed. And to RadicalReason, yeah, the male students would be a bit gobsmacked, but Raphaela's so damn clueless about what's going on around her that she wouldn't notice in a million years. That's what I love about her :)
Chapter Four: Impressive to Some
Still uneasy under Severus' peculiar wide-eyed stare, I turned my gaze to the students. The young first-years looked terrified, milling around the store cupboard like ants, all too terrified to make the first move. They looked so mouse-like I wouldn't have been surprised if one of them had licked their hand and wiped it over their own face. I sensed Severus noticing my gaze and adjusting his own to see what was so interesting across the room. Sighing as though each child had done him a deep and personal wrong, he stood up, flinging his char back to the blackboard with the force. The resulting bang was loud enough for the first-years to swivel their heads as one and watch us in fear, like a school of fish changing directions suddenly and in complete synchrony.
"Idiots!" Severus cried, flinging his arms up in the air and making his robes fan out like oversized wings. "Why are you all just standing there? You should be collecting your ingredients! Now!" The students seemed to shrink before his terrifying gaze, but one brave girl piped up. Incidentally, she was the girl likened to Hermione Granger only minutes previous.
"Sir, it's just that we've never worked with these ingredients before, and these boxes and jars are unlabelled -"
"Mere common sense would tell you which ingredient is which, you idiot girl," he said, waving his wand. Bottles and jars flew from the cupboard and arranged themselves neatly on the shelf above the sinks. "These are the ingredients you will need for today's lesson in the correct order, for those of you who can't tell the difference between dittany and devil's snare. That wasn't a question, foolish girl." The bespectacled young first-year lowered her hand, looking disappointed.
"You know, I think she's right," I said, once Severus had made his way back to the desk and taken his seat. I had changed my position on the beanbag again – I was lying on my stomach facing him, my chin resting on my folded arms. "That cupboard is so untidy. Everything needs labels and shit."
"Stop swearing in class-time, or I will report you to McGonagall." His voice was little more than a whisper, but told of impending doom.
"Maybe I'll report you to McGonagall," I retorted. It was weak, but acceptable. Note to self: think of better comebacks than merely switching around his. He glared at me. Number eight.
"You're right, Vialle," he said, an evil-looking smirk on his face. "After classes end today, you will return here and sort out the potions ingredients."
Okay, he'd got me. He'd got me good. But little did he know, I had a little something else up my sleeve. "That sounds acceptable, Barry. The only thing is, I'm none too skilled at differentiation. I might mistake belladonna for monkshood and then where would we be? Someone's Hair-Removing Potion would blow up in their face and take off all their skin, and then we'd have a school full of skeletons. And that would be one creepy school."
"No excuses, Vialle. Your knowledge of what happens when belladonna is used in place of monkshood in that particular potion shows your aptitude, though I shudder to refer to you as having aptitude."
"Who's to say I won't deliberately mix up the ingredients to make you look bad?"
"Fine, I will supervise!" he nearly shouted, making the first-years pause from their futile attempts at lighting their fires to see what was going on. "But I'm bringing pumpkin juice, and you can't have any." He paled as I tried to stop myself bursting into laughter. "What I mean to say is, you will not be allowed to have any breaks for a refreshing beverage. You will work hard."
I winked at him, before turning away to help the first-years with their fire-lighting. Oh yes. I was good. I heard a quill snap behind me, as Severus turned his head slowly to glare at me, an incredulous look on his face.
"Barry?!"
"My name's Raphaela, you know," I said, smiling as though I had no idea what he was talking about. "If it's too difficult you can shorten it, if you like. Raph? Raphie? Ella? Phae? Your choice."
"Why did you call me Barry?" he seethed between his teeth. I could sense him still glaring at me. This was glare number nine. I smiled even more broadly. I sat on one student's desk, legs crossed and arms folded. I brought one hand up to my chin, as though thinking deeply, and stroked an imaginary beard.
"Well, Baz," I said finally, "It may be because that's your name."
He continued to glare. "You know full well what my name is, Raphaela."
"Ha! You used my first name!" I cried, shoving my hand under a cauldron and sending fire shooting out of my fingertips. It lit with a small phoo and the kid's eyes lit up to match, gazing at me in wonder.
"Can I learn to do that here?" the kid asked, pointing to my slightly singed hand. I blew out the small flames and watched the skin regrow, enjoying the first-year's amazement.
"I'm afraid not, young'un," I said, patting his head in a condescending sort of way. "Not here, anyway."
"You're a pyreshe?" came a sharp voice from the other side of the room as I went to light another fire. "Impossible."
"And why is it impossible, Barry?" I asked, winking at the Granger-girl. She smiled politely. I bent down to light her fire for her, before realizing that it was already ablaze. I nodded at her and gave her a thumbs-up, and her smile broadened.
"For a person to harness the powers of the fire element… not to mention regeneration… it takes years of meditation with only the highest magical beings." He was glaring at me, but I think it was still glaring from the Barry incident so I didn't count it as a new glare. I shrugged at him and half-smiled.
"So I did some traveling after I left the Hog. So what? Everyone does." I tried my best to look innocent, to further infuriate him. "I bummed around Europe for a while. Did you know I went four months in Russia without a coat? I had to spend another month in hospital for severe pneumonia, and they took a finger, but I got a replacement so it's cool." I wiggled my left pinky at him, still a slightly different colour to the rest of my skin. "I was pretty interested in getting an all-bone finger, no flesh or skin or anything, you know, just to creep people out, but they said I'd scare muggles."
"And once again you outdo yourself by proving that even if I don't care, you'll still keep saying things to me."
"You know it," I said, reclining on the beanbag once more. "Did I ever tell you about that time I studied under Nept Yemen?"
"We've known each other a day, Vialle, so no, you haven't. However, that was not an invitation to tell me – wait, you studied under Yemen?" Instead of the usual glare, Severus was looking at me in interest. I smilingly nodded, but kept my mouth shut. I wasn't going to tell him about Nept until he begged me. Hmm, maybe I'd tortured him long enough. And I pretty much just really wanted to tell him.
"Okay, well Nept was really cool, except strict, but aside from that he was cool, and I learned so much stuff, like this," I said, waving my left hand. Water began to drip from my palm onto the floor.
"Impressive," Severus said reluctantly, as if it caused him great physical pain to compliment me. I laughed at his discomfort.
"I can do a whole shitload of other stuff too, but that will be left for another time," I said cheerfully. Severus glared. Number ten.
"Do not swear in front of the first-years."
"I'll do what I want, you're not my real dad," I joked, making a huffy face. However, the humor was lost on Severus and he simply kept glaring, now with a slightly perplexed look on his face.
"I wasn't aware of any fathering going on between you and I."
"Dickhead, that was the joke."
"Not in front of the students, Vialle. How many times must I tell you before it penetrates that thick skull of yours? Do I have to beat it into you with a hammer? Is that what I must do? Must I beat your head in? Because I will, if I must." He actually looked like he meant it, too. He was shooting me a look to kill, so I decided it was best to stop baiting him for the time being.
"I apologize, Severus," I said, nose in the air in my best impersonation of a fancy person. "I simply wished to liven up your day with my 'wacky antics'. I see my efforts go unappreciated."
"Clearly," he said stiffly, and went back to making notations on his paper.