Chapter Fourteen: Taking the Beer Train
After the tenth shot, things started to get fuzzy and I lost count. There were a couple more of those tasty, sweet pink drinks, courtesy of the pretty guy, but I couldn't honestly say how much I'd had. He definitely looked worse than me, though, and when he'd fallen over for the third time and I'd burst into another fit of raucous laughter, they asked us to leave. Out in the cool Hogsmeade street, I felt a little lost. I didn't quite know what to do with the rest of my weekend, as I didn't have anything fun to do at the castle and I didn't know of anything interesting around the town that I could do.
"So… so d'you live in z'village?" I heard a voice somewhere beside me and turned, overdoing it somewhat and ending up facing back towards the Three Broomsticks. Who had spoken? Ah! Of course. Pretty guy.
"No, I live… at the school. At the Hogwarts." At the Hogwarts, that was it. My living area. My lovely, lovely living area that was extremely cold in the mornings. Damn it, damn it to hell. "Damn that."
"You… teacher? Lookin' young to be tee-eacher," he said, standing very straight and blinking a lot, looking surprised. I began to half walk, half stagger down the street and he accompanied me, for which I was grateful. Aside from the other teachers, I hadn't had any sort of conversation since I arrived. And teachers were bloody dull.
"Just havin' a learn," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder to steady myself. "I'll be a teacher soon, once old Snapey kicks the proverbial bucket and I get his job." He put a hand on my shoulder and we kept walking, keeping each other up with some kind of magical drunken power.
"That's… morbid."
"No, I think you'll find that you're morbid, my pretty new friend," I said, then realised I was on my way back up to the castle. "I think… I think I'm going back to Hogs. You want to come?"
"Okay," he said amicably, with a blank smile on his face. "Am I 'llowed up there, when I'm not teach or stude?"
"We'll find out, I think," I said, giggling as I dragged him up towards the castle. "You'd be ex-stude, wouldn' you?"
"'Bout…. 'bout six thousand years ago, maybe," he said, with that odd laugh that all drunk people seem to do. The one where they laugh but forget to open their mouths properly, so it just sounds like rapid exhalations of breath. "Looooooooong time ago."
"Me too, ten of them years," I said with terrible word use. "I'm almost an old senior citizen now. Too old to be getting pissed at midday."
"Never too pissed for – I mean, too old for pissed," he said, giggling again at his mistake. "Look! Castle. Big."
"It is!" I cried, suddenly struck by its immense size. Of course, we were about four centimeters away from it, and it probably looked a lot bigger from that perspective, but still. I was pissed and it was impressive. "Let's be going inside."
For once, my mind was entirely, blissfully blank as we made our way up to my quarters. It seemed odd that we hadn't encountered a single soul, it being a Saturday afternoon, but I hadn't counted on finding Severus standing outside the door to my room, leaning against the frame.
"What 'choo doin' here?" I demanded, staring at him with wide eyes. "I'm not in there. I'm out here."
"Apparently," he said lightly. "Are you drunk again, or still?"
"Umm…" I thought hard. I had been drunk only a few hours previous, but I was almost certain that there had been a short period of sobriety sometime. Ah yes! I remembered being sober and feeling horrid on my bathroom floor. "It is again, I think. Yes, again. But I can't be sure. Come back tomorrow and I'll tell you then, when my brain's working properly. Something is preventing it from working okay now. Did… did you give me a lotobotobomy when I was asleep?"
"The word you're looking for is lobotomy, and I did not, no." He looked quite annoyed, and turned his gaze on the pretty guy who was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to me, making shapes in the dust on the floor with a finger. "And who is this?"
I turned to the guy, who was oblivious to Severus' words and glare. I stared blankly at him for a few moments before turning back to Severus. "I don't know," I said with a giggle. "I mean, I never caught his name. You there!" I cried, nudging him with my foot. He let out a cry of surprise and toppled over to lie on his side on the floor, giggling madly. "What's your name?"
"Um… I can't remember," he said, letting out a fresh burst of giggles. "Oh! Wait on! It's… John. Johnny! That's my name. It is what people call me."
"Enthralling," Severus said, and I wondered if he was being sarcastic. I must have been pissed, if I couldn't even catch his sarcasm anymore. Oh well, who cared about sarcasm when there was a very pretty Johnny on the floor, and nothing between us and my room but an ornery professor.
"See here, mister ornery," I said, jabbing a finger into Severus' sternum, "There is a very pretty Johnny on the floor, and you are standing in the way of my room. This is an unacceptable development and I must insist that you step aside and allow us passage."
"No, you see here," he said, looking livid. "I don't know if there exists a rule that will help me, but I will personally scour the Hogwarts rulebook and find something I can use to kick this miscreant out and make sure he never comes within a hundred miles of the castle ever again." He pointed a finger at Johnny as he said this, who had stood up and was now dusting himself off placidly, still with a blank smile on his face.
"You're a jerk, Severus," I said, opening the door to my chambers and ushering Johnny inside. I knew why he was acting this way, and it pissed me off. It was so ridiculously petty and childish, I would have to call him on it, just so he could learn that it's not okay to act this way. "Just 'cause you're totally jealous."
He turned an odd shade of purple and stepped away from the door, his arms going rigid at his sides. "I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about." I wished he would stop lying to me. It was getting incredibly old, and even totally pissed, I could still see that he was horrified.
"Yeah right!" I shouted angrily. "You wish you could find a boy as pretty as Johnny. But he is mine! And you will not ruin it with your troublemaking ways!" After a final vision of Severus looking surprised, I slammed the door on his face and turned to see Johnny, collapsed on my bed and snoring loudly. He even looked gorgeous with his arms splayed out at his sides, mouth open and drooling on my bed. I staggered over towards him, kissed him on the cheek and covered him with the blankets before falling into bed next to him and drifting off in about four seconds. It had been a very exhausting day.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! You guys are all so sweet, it really makes my day. I originally had Pretty Guy's name as being Tom, but that was a bit too close to Voldemort, and I didn't want this to turn into a big Voldie-fest. He's sort of named after Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, but that has no significance really. He's not going to get all murdery on us. OR IS HE? ONLY TIME WILL TELL.