Chapter Sixteen: I Wasn't.
I wandered around the school aimlessly until I found Severus' quarters down in the dungeons – of course, where else would they be – and thanked Merlin that I'd actually found the place. I'd never been there before and the castle was dark, it being around six in the morning. Cold, too. The heat from the potions classes had dissipated through the course of a full Saturday with no fires, and it was back to its old freezing chill. There was a silver plaque on the front of the door, and I looked closely in the dark to read it, tracing the lines with my finger. It read 'Severus Snape', and below that, 'Potions Master'. I knocked softly on the dark wood, and upon hearing no noise from inside, turned the handle and entered quietly. A few candles were burning low, scattered around the room, and I was momentarily outraged by his blatant disregard for fire safety. I mean, there was one candle that was about two centimeters away from a curtain. A very flammable-looking curtain, mind you. I almost went over there to test the flammability of it, but then I stopped myself because I realized that trying to set fire to your colleague slash superior's bedroom was a bloody stupid idea.
Instead I just sat myself down on the side of his bed, which surprised me, because I'd thought that for sure he'd sleep upside down, wrapped in a cocoon of his own wings. Ha, ha. Not. It was a pretty nice bed, all wrought iron and black hangings. He would have been invisible, in all his black, but for his pale face and hands. He slept on his back, with his head perfectly centered on the pillow and facing directly upwards. His arms were completely rigid at his sides. All in all, it looked like a very peculiar way to sleep, but his face looked entirely passive and calm, something I'd never seen on him before. I definitely preferred it to his usual angry face. I swung my legs up onto the bed and moved to a cross-legged position, steepling my fingers and resting my chin on their tips. I didn't quite know what to do now. I'd thoroughly thought out the getting here (wandering around until I found it), and the getting in (knocking and then entering), but I had no idea whether or not to wake him up. Maybe he'd get mad. Kick me out. Tell me never to darken his doorstep again. Or maybe all his problems stemmed from not enough sleep, and if he woke up now he'd be as pleasant as a parakeet. Wait, pleasant as a parakeet? That didn't even make any sense. I decided to meditate on it further while I continued to peer at him like some deranged stalker girl.
"Stop it," he said suddenly, causing me to fall backwards off the bed in shock. Rubbing my aching spine, I returned to my position on his bed and stared at him. He looked just as he had before, eyes closed and everything, except this time his eyebrows were furrowed in what looked like confusion. "I was going to ask you why you're in my room at such an ungodly hour, Raphaela, but I've decided I'd rather not know the answer to that one."
"Maybe you're dreaming?" I said stubbornly, folding my arms across my chest and glaring at him. "And how did you know it was me?"
He opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. "Nobody else I know would come into my room at…" he glanced over at his clock, "six in the morning, then sit on my bed and watch me sleep for ten minutes."
"Oh, I wasn't watching you sleep," I said, though he snorted with derision at this comment. "I was just wondering whether or not I should wake you. Apparently that resolved itself though, because you woke up all by yourself to be a jerk at me again. Besides, how do you know this isn't all some big, vivid dream?"
"Because if calamity struck and you began plaguing my dreams, I'd have to kill myself. Or you, I'm not picky." He sat up in bed and looked at me. "Did you want something?"
"Yes, actually," I said, before realizing that I'd completely forgotten what I'd come down for. "Actually, I'm not so sure. Did I?"
"I should hope so. I'd rather that you coming down here and watching me sleep isn't going to become a regular thing. Or should I pencil you in for next Tuesday night?"
"I WAS NOT WATCHING YOU SLEEP!"
A loud knock at the door made both our heads snap around to stare at the doorway, where Minerva McGonagall stood, watching us curiously. I realised with a jolt that I'd forgotten to close it behind me and our conversation was sure to have carried through the stone corridor.
"I wasn't," I said to her, crossing my arms. "I just needed to talk to him about something but he was asleep and I -"
"It is no business of mine what you do in your spare time, Raphaela," she said, a twitching smile playing at her features. "Though Severus, you may want to lock your door in future. One might even begin to suspect that you want these things to happen."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Minerva," he said, though he'd started to look incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed again, just like that time when I accidentally flashed my underpants at him. I glanced down to check that that wasn't happening again, but thankfully my pants had remained on my legs. "Did you want something, or did you both organize a slumber party without consulting me?"
"I was going to talk to you about some new changes to the timetables, but I can see now that I may have been a bit hasty. It can wait until breakfast, I think." With that, she nodded to both of us and exited, closing the door tightly behind her. I turned back to Severus to see that he still looked slightly uncomfortable, but since I had no idea why this could be, I pushed it out of my mind.
"What did you want to talk to me about, Raphaela?" He looked quite tired actually, and I felt a bit bad for coming down and waking him up so early in the morning.
"How much sleep have you had?" I asked, mildly worried. I'd had some wicked bad insomnia in my seventh year and it messed me up pretty bad, it actually got so awful that I started hallucinating. Of course, all the teachers thought I was on crack, since I'd complained of big hairy monsters eating my quills and more than once I passed out in class.
"Enough," he replied shortly. "It is no business of yours anyway."
"Fucking sorry," I said, quite a bit more harshly than the situation called for. "Forget it then. Next time maybe I won't be concerned about you."
"I did not ask for your concern and I do not need it," he said, turning away from me. "What do you want?"
"I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday, but I don't think I want to anymore."
"A reprieve!" He cried. "Raphaela, nothing you will ever say will interest me. I'd consider it a great boon if you would do me the honor of never talking to me again."
Why was he so horrible? I had never had the misfortune to meet anybody as cruel and insensitive as the man sitting by me. "I think I hate you, Severus Snape," I said quietly, and for some reason my eyes started to feel all misty and tingly. I blinked them rapidly as I stood up, walking towards the door. I turned the knob and opened it, and I was just about to leave when Severus said something I never thought I would ever hear from him in a million years.
"Raphaela," he said, still looking determinedly somewhere else, "I… apologize."