I wonder if anyone will actually read this because it's so late?
"Why is it taking them so long?" Axel asked his companion as the two of them pressed their faces to the glass of the restaurant's window, trying to watch for Zexion to come back with Roxas.
"What if they're both getting raped?!" Demyx squeaked, pressing his face harder against the glass.
"AHHHH!" Axel yelled, trying to claw his way through the glass.
"How long do you think they're going to keep that up?" Marluxia asked one of the cooks, a rather large man. The cook's name was Lexaeus.
"I bet..Four hours." Lexaueus scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"I bet two hours!" Came a shout from the kitchen.
"I quit." Lexaeus shook his head lightly. No one bet against Luxord.
"Where does one go about getting a map of this place?" Zexion walked into the office, his cowboy hat clutched in his hands as he did so. He wanted to seem like a little considerate hick. His dyed hair went against that, however.
"Sir! I can help you over here!" One of the secretaries called. Zexion looked around. All the secretaries looked the same with their facial features and their clothing. Were they all quintuplets or something? And half of them weren't even secretaries...Weird. The one that had called out to Zexion raised her hand and waved him over. He walked towards her. "What can I do for you, sir?"
"My family just moved here and my little brother's starting high school next year. I was wondering if you had a map and a list of freshmen teachers that I could go talk to?" Zexion scratched his head as if he were a simpleton.
"Got them right here!" The lady dug through a pile of papers, something about wavers for the cafeteria food, it seemed like, until she found exactly what she was looking for. She handed the map to Zexion while she wrote something on the piece of paper. After she was done she handed the other paper to him. "I've put stars by the freshmen teachers. What is your name, sir?"
"Simple Pigglyton." Zexion said in a rush. It was the first thing that came to his mind and he wasn't about to let it slip away from him.
The woman smiled at him before scribbling down onto a name tag. "Here you go, sir. Make sure to wear this at all times or else a bomb threat will be issued." She said as Zexion was putting on the name tag. As soon as the words bomb threat were out of her mouth the other secretaries took out their identical cell phones. "Calm down! He's wearing a name tag!" The first one yelled at them. They all put their cell phones away.
As he was walking out of the office Zexion wondered how Roxas could be so normal given the circumstances in which he was in. His school was loony, his mom was loony, and the restaurant was loony. How could Roxas be sane?
Roxas was not sane. He might have seemed sane because he could have been the least insane out of all of them. But nonetheless, he was still insane. He sat in his Algebra class, eyes darting from here to there, wondering just who was watching his poor pathetic self. Paranoia? You'd be pretty paranoid too if you had to pull out a porn magazine in the middle of class. So with shaking hands he pulled out his "Algebra Book." Little did anyone know a tiny little (well, not exactly) magazine was hiding within the pages of the book.
Roxas was still shaking when he set the book down on his desk. Then, like a good little boy, he slid down in his seat and rested the book in his lap and opened it to where the covers of the book rested against the desk. (The book was resting vertically in the boy's lap.) He flipped through the pages until he found that oh so tantalizing cover of the porn magazine. If he was actually into girls he would find this experience quite exhilarating. Oh yes, he had lied to Zexion about him being straight. But why would Roxas want a super cool college student to know he gay? Of course, if he ever felt any feelings for Zexion he would probably tell him...
He shook his head. This was no time to be lost in thought about some stupid, non exciting stuff! He was on an adventure here! A quest of sorts! He turned a couple of pages until he saw a very...exposed female human sitting in an awkward position. He could feel his face heating up just at the sight.
"What's this?!" The boy sitting behind him exclaimed in an excited whisper. The boy's name was Jack. He was a scary goth creature, he was too tall to be a freshman (which he was indeed), he was skin and bones, and his skin color was that of bright snow. And the fact he had large black circles under his eyes didn't help him looking any less gothic. His girlfriend, Sally, was a cute petite girl who was nice but had too much interest in needles and sewing. She was the star of home ec, that was for sure.
"N-nothing!" Roxas stuttered to him, almost about to shut the book in a hurry. Then he remembered Zexion's plan was on riding somebody discovering that he had such a filthy magazine.
"No, what's this?" Jack leaned to the side of his desk and reached a bony arm forward, tapping one of his long, bony fingers on the page. The girl was holding some kind of new energy drink of sorts, and Jack did indeed love his energy drinks.
Roxas, glad that the attention was off of the naked lady happily talked. "Oh! That's Rockstar, you know, party like a rock star. Or something...I've had it before. The juice one turned my pee lime green."
"Oh..There's got to be some sort of chemical in it if it turned your pee lime green. I should check out one of the cans someday. If I find out what it was I'll tell you." Jack gave him a small grin.
"Thanks." Roxas nodded to him as Jack went back to learning math. He felt amazed and happy at the same time from his run in with the gothic kid. Jack wasn't as scary as he looked...And the fact he was kind of smart surprised Roxas too. Oh yeah, and the fact he had kept his eyes strictly on the energy drink instead of the lady made Roxas squee inside. Jack was keeping true to Sally!
"Roxas, Jack, don't think I didn't hear you two talking back there." Saix turned from the board to stare menacingly at the two boys.
"Uh..uh.." Roxas knew this was it. This was when the plan came out.
"I was just helping Roxas with his math." Jack offered, trying to give a smile.
"Yes, and I suppose talking about lime green pee had something to do with Algebra." Saix began stalking towards them. Roxas' heart beat a thousand times faster than it did normally. "What's this?" Saix plucked the magazine straight from the book.
Roxas couldn't answer. He was ashamed. "What does it look like?" Jack answered for him.
Saix frowned. "Why don't you two take this down to the office? Hm? Would you two like that?" Both boys stared up at him. "Get your stuff and go!" He ordered. The boys scrambled to get their things together. Roxas was given the magazine to hold as they went to the office. Saix watched them leave and sighed. "Now class, you should learn a very important lesson from this. Never bring dirty magazines to school to share with your friends."
"Man this sucks...What if we get detention for this?" Jack cursed the heavens for this.
"Sorry I dragged you into this too. You should've just pinned it all on me." Roxas replied, frowning.
"I should've..but oh well. At least you don't have to go alone." Jack gave a small grin. "Who's that freak?" Not that Jack could really talk...Roxas looked up. Yep, that was definetly a freak. A freak in a cowboy monkey suit.
The cowboy gave Roxas a thumbs up as he passed. Roxas gave him a shaky thumbs up back.
"Was that an Emo cowboy?" Jack turned to him, confused.
"Yes, yes it was." Roxas replied, sighing. Zexion was a loon.
"Not to be mean or anything but he's about as cowboy as Olive Garden is Italian." Jack blinked a couple of time.
"I'm sure he knows..." Roxas sighed again.
"Howdy there! Do ya mind if I sent in on the class? I got important things to watch for." Zexion smiled widely at the dumbfounded teacher.
"Sure. Why not?" Saix let the strange man into the class.
"Howdy everyone! How ya'll doin'?!" Zexion shouted lightly to the class. "I hope you guys don't mind if I sit in on your class! Just go about everything normally!" He sat right at Saix's desk, legs propped up ON the desk. Everyone in the room stared blankly. After a few more minutes of just staring Saix finally turned his back to the strange intruder (who was quite attractive)
As soon as everyone was focused on Algebra Zexion began digging around in Saix's desk. He did it quietly so that no one would expect him of anything. It didn't take long to find just what he was looking for. A little black book. He pulled it out of the desk, closed all the drawers quietly, and sat back in the chair. Time to look at the dirt.
Day 01
It's the first day of school and I can't believe what I'm seeing. There is a cute little blonde boy in my fourth period class. His name is Roxas. I never thought I'd be attracted to someone so much younger than I. His butt is well rounded and quite squishy. I had the pleasure of accidentally running into it. I'm looking forward to this year.
O-kay. Zexion had expected naked picture of little boys, not a diary. But whatever, it was alright. At least now he had Saix's own words to use against him. And--woah! Something just fell out of the book! It was a picture...Zexion picked it up, inspecting it. It was a picture of this round, squishy butt. Axel would like this picture. Too bad Zexion wasn't going to take it. It was good evidence. He sat back and watched the time go flying by.
"Now, you two know why I'm letting you off the hook, am I correct?" Principal Ansem the Wise (odd name. The students made a daily habit of making fun of it.) looked at the two with scrutinizing eyes.
"Yes." The two boys, Roxas and Jack, nodded simultaneously. "You want to go on your fishing trip right now."
"I sure do!" Ansem stood up, in all of his fishing gear, grabbed his fishing poles from in the corner of the office, and scuttled out of there like a monkey looking for bananas. Jack and Roxas just simply watched him.
"Want to look at his computer?" Jack asked.
"Hell yeah!" Roxas smiled evilly. (Axel would have said it was a very sexy smile.) The two moved to the other side of the desk, Jack shaking the mouse to get the screen saver off. Roxas took this time to look around the room. It was very...odd, to say the least. Sitting on one of the filing cabinets was a toaster, in one of the corners sat a vacuum, on the desk was a yellow desk lamp, a long with a red, antique looking radio (Roxas knew the guys was old but he kind of hoped he wasn't THAT old.) and in one of the spare chairs was a heating blanket.
"It's up!" Jack alerted him so that Roxas would turn back to look at the screen.
"...There sure is a bunch of...Mickey Mouse stuff." Roxas blinked several times at the screen.
The bell rang. The students stood from their desk and started to leave. Saix reminded them that yes, they did have a test on Monday. When the last student left Zexion got out from behind Saix's desk and walked to the front of the class where Saix was. He stood chest to chest with the other man, letting his breath hit Saix's neck.
"I know what you want." Zexion said in a sexy whisper. Demyx would've hit an orgasm if Zexion ever did this to him.
"You do now?" Saix asked back, smirking. Yes! He might actually get laid sometime this weekend! With consent!
Zexion lifted the little black book he had found in Saix's desk and backed away from him. Saix stared in horror. "I do. Now, agree to my terms and no one will ever have to know about this." He got a weak nod from the blue haired teacher. "I want you to resign right now. Then refuse to come back on Monday. You will never set foot in this school again. Am I clear?" Another weak nod. Now it was Zexion's turn to smirk. "Good. I'll be keeping this to make sure you stay in line." He put the little black book into one of his pockets.
Score one for Zexion! Saix, zero.
A/N: Can you name all the Disney characters that appear in this? There's six. Sally doesn't count. She was just mentioned.