A/N: This chapter was late for a reason, k? I had to beat last chapter's record for reviews. I like beaitng records. So you guys know what you gotta do if you don't want a chapter a month later? You beat my review record! D Show this thing to your friends to get them to review, or something. There's 94 of you on the alert list, I think you can all pull through, ne?
So here it is, last chapter's reviews: 32. Get me 33 reviews quickly and you'll have another chapter.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE BANANA PHONE! Thank you.
P.S. My neighbor's dog is named after Chewbacca. Weird. His name is Chewwie. Anyway, read on.
Since Roxas couldn't go home, he was seated in a booth in the restaurant and given crayons to draw on all their good napkins with. He took up space on the Friday night scene but no one really cared, except angry customers who saw a kid sit there for two hours in a spot their family could've dined at. But who cared about customers, psh! And since Roxas wouldn't dare go home that night, either, Axel had been the first one to offer him a place to stay. I mean, Axel offered Roxas a place where Axel would molest him.
By now it was around eight in the evening and customers were starting to slow down. Demyx had taken it upon himself to sit down with Roxas to watch him color and draw and do all the crazy things you can do with crayons. Minus sticking them up your nose and eating them. Can anyone say, pooping a rainbow?
"What's that?" Demyx asked, pointing to a stick figure outlined in red that had a...flower? On its head.
"That's a dinosaur." Roxas replied happily, continuing to color...whatever he was coloring. Demyx refused to try and figure out what any of them were any more. Call him dyslexic or Roxas was a horrible artist.
"Well, I've got to get going. There are tables to clean." Demyx stood and walked off, snatching a napkin that had drawings all over it from the table. He wanted someone else to see these! They were horrible! So he went to the person he knew would make fun of them to no end. Marluxia. "What do you see here?" He asked, holding up the napkin to the host.
"Dinosaurs." Marluxia replied. "Now go away. I don't want to be seen with you."
So Demyx walked away, staring at the napkin in horror. What the hell?! How could anyone actually tell what that was?! So he went to the next person he saw.
"What does this look like to you?" Demyx asked, holding the napkin up to a female waitress who only came in on weekends. Her name was Larxene.
"A fucking dinosaur." She growled then went back to serving some of her remaining customers. No one annoyed that girl more than Demyx.
So Demyx walked through the rest of the restaurant, trying to find someone else who couldn't tell what it was. He came upon his fiery headed friend, Axel, and showed him the napkin.
"How cute!" Axel said happily. "It's a dinosaur! Did Roxas draw that?" When Demyx nodded he was inevitably mugged and the napkin was stolen. Oh well. Another day, another napkin.
"Goodnight everybody!" Axel waved to the last few remaining workers and Roxas followed suit, waving as well. They headed for the redhead's car, talking about useless things. Tonight was the night Axel was going to make his move! Whether Roxas was straight or not! He'd MAKE the kid fall for him. Then he would sex him up and leave him to hang dry. That's how he rolled.
"Thanks for taking me in again." Roxas said when they got to the car, he himself climbing into the passenger's seat and Axel getting into the driver's seat. The boy put his backpack in the floor, just like he did on normal days.
"Well, I couldn't very well let you get mutilated by your mother, now could I?" Axel asked, smirking at him as he started car. They drove in silence for a while until Roxas couldn't help to notice something very odd.
"There are cows everywhere." He said, watching yet another cow pass by.
"Yeah. It happens all the time. You need to get out more. They're all over the town at night. Demyx thinks they're zombie cows." Axel nodded in agreement with his own statement.
"Oh. Zombie cows. Great." Roxas seemed to nod to himself, just like Axel had been doing.
"He-ey, Zexi-on!" Demyx cooed, finding the waiter behind the bar. That was where he usually was stationed during these times.
"What do you want?" Zexion asked him, glaring with one eye while he wiped a glass clean.
"Do you want to go hang out!?" The Star Wars obsessed young male said, his eyes gleaming with hope.
"What would we do?" Zexion asked, a little bit haughtily. It's not like he had things to do, he just didn't want to do something stupid. Which Demyx seemed only capable of doing.
"I was thinking, we could watch a movie in my dorm. Wouldn't that be awesome?" Demyx at least wasn't cooing anymore. Zexion was less wary that way.
"What movie would we watch?" Zexion asked, putting the glass down to give Demyx his full attention.
"Star Wars!"
"No."
"Aw...Why not?"
"Why?"
"'Cause Star Wars is awesome!"
"It's boring and overrated."
"Nu-uh."
"Shut up, Chewbacca."
"..." Demyx left the area, looking entirely like a kicked little puppy.
Zexion watched him go, only feeling a small pang of regret. "Maybe I shouldn't have called him Chewbacca..."
"NOBODY MOVE!" Luxord ran out of the kitchen, his apron swishing every which way. Everyone paused exactly where they were. "The liver ran away."
Somewhere, deep within the depths of the darkest corners of the restaurant, a squealing was heard. That was, undoubtedly, the liver.
Roxas and Axel were still, somehow, driving. Axel seemed to have gotten very lost because of the blonde piece of hot ass that was sitting next to him. What could he say? You'd be pretty distracted too if such a cutie was biting on his finger.
Roxas perked up at a stoplight, pointing to the car beside them. "Hey! My brother's in that car!" He could see Sora as clear as day. Riku was the one driving. Roxas started pounding on the window, trying to get Riku's attention. When that didn't work he started to press his face up against the window, making funny faces at the car beside them.
As cute as that was, Axel didn't want his windows all smudged with Roxas' skin oil and saliva. So he rolled down the window from his side of the car. Roxas was startled, but lucklily he had enough common sense to pull his head away from the window. Now that the window was down he began waving his arms outside of the car.
Sora was the one to notice him. He turned towards Riku's window and smiled that huge, goofy grin of his and pointed. Riku turned as well, but didn't look interested in him at all. He just turned back to the road and mumbled something to Sora. Sora said something happily back and waved at Roxas. Then he noticed who was driving. He gave Roxas a questioning look and Roxas returned it with a scolding look. That meant, 'Do not tell mother.' Sora got it.
The light turned green and both cars went down a different road. Riku and Sora went straight and Axel and Roxas turned to the left. Axel had a few questions for Roxas.
"Who was that with your brother?" He asked. He thought the silver haired one was his brother. Certainly not that overly happy marshmallow in the next seat.
"The one driving? That's Riku. He's Sora's best friend." Roxas answered. Well, that cleared things up for everyone.
"So your brother was the..."
"The happy one."
"Oh."
They sat in silence for a moment or two more. Then Axel had another question that he just needed an answer to.
"Are they dating?" Axel eyed Roxas using his peripheral vision.
"What?!" Roxas stared at him like he was insane.
"I mean...I just saw your brother pumping something that happened to be in that guy's lap..." Axel let out a nervous laugh. Uh-oh.
"TURN THE CAR AROUND!" Roxas yelled, flipping in his seat to view the street they had just turned off of. "I'M GONNA CASTRATE RIKU!"
"Riku..." Sora whined, holding up a remote control he had gotten out from between Riku's legs. "Why do you have a tv remote in your car?"
Inwardly, Riku was, Fufuing-that's an evil laugh-and smirking. He remained calm and collected on the outside, however. "I don't know." He answered.
"Oh. But it's pretty weird it ended up in a place like that." Sora was fingering the remote in his lap now.
"Yeah, it is." Riku had to let a tiny smirk on his face before going back to a neutral look, driving safely down the road.
Roxas was now sitting comfortably on Axel's couch, pouting slightly. Axel had smacked him (gently of course) until he sat back down in the car seat, and forgot all about Riku wanted to have sex with Sora. Or Sora giving Riku handjobs for that matter. So here he sat, waiting for Axel to get back from...the bathroom? Was that where he said he was going? Roxas hadn't paid him much attention.
He heard a door open somewhere behind him in the apartment. Axel must be coming back! Yay! He listened for the man. No footsteps...Just weird little shuffling. Then around the couch came a...banana? It climbed its way up the coffee table (for it had arms, legs, and even a little face on it. The face drawn on, however.) and stood, staring at Roxas. Then, it started to sing. Or play music. Roxas wasn't sure.
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone,
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone,
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
For us to get together and sing! Sing!"
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone,
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone,
It grows in bunches,
I've got my hunches,
It's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, modular, interactiveodular!"
Roxas looked at the banana, then looked around the rest of the room. Where was Axel at a time like this?!
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone,
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop,
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone,
It's no baloney, it ain't a p(h)ony,
My cellular, bananaular phone!"
"Don't need quarters, don't need dimes, to call friend of mine,
Don't need computer or tv,
To have a real good time!
I'll call for pizza, I'll call my cat,
I'll call the white house, have a chat!
I'll call around the world, operator get me Beijing-jing-jing-jing!"
Music began playing and Roxas had to wonder if it was about to finish. Nope. It kept on going.
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone,
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop,
Yin yang yin yang yin yang yin yonanan phone!
It's a real live mama and papa phone,
A brother and sister and a dogophone,
A grandpa phone and a grandma phone too! Oh yeah!
My cellular, bananaular phone!"
"Banana phone, ring, ring ring,
(It's a phone with a peel!)
Banana phone, ring, ring ring,
(Now you can have your phone and eat it too!)
Banana phone, ring, ring, ring,
(This song drives me bananas!)
Banana phone, ring ring, ring!"
"Boop-ba-doo-ba-doop-doop!"
Now it was finished. Roxas stared at it awkwardly. What the hell was this?! He looked behind him. Still no sign of Axel. He turned back to the...banana phone, he guessed it was.
"Sorry about the song. Protocols, you see." The banana phone was talking to him.
"It's...alright." Roxas offered. This way too weird for him. Why did Axel have something like this in his house?
"Why don't you pick me up? I'll make it worth you while! I'll put you through to the most exhilerating call in your life." Well, the banana seemed innocent enough. Roxas picked it up and placed it on his ear. Well, he felt like a monkey now.
The phone began ringing. Weird. He waited for whoever it was to answer. "Is this the banana phone calling again?" A male voice on the other end asked.
Roxas waited for the banana phone to answer. It didn't. "Erm. No, it's someone else." He answered.
"Did the banana phone put you up to this?" The man asked. He assumed it was a man, because the voice sounded older.
"Yeah..." Roxas muttered. Did the banana phone call this guy all the time? This was really weird.
"Okay. Since you sound like a nice kid, I'm going to do something special for you. You just have to do everything I say. Got it?"
"Uh, sure."
"Good. First thing you do, take off your shirt." Roxas frowned. A guy over the phone wanted him to take off his shirt? Well, he couldn't see him, so he took off his shirt. "Shirt off? Good. Now, the pants come off. Don't give me any lip, this is going to be worth it. Underwear stays on." Roxas took off his pants. "Now, I want you to lie down on the couch. When you lie down, spread you legs so wide one of them is off the couch." Roxas did as he was told. "Now, put one hand of your fingers down into your boxers or whitey tighties, or whatevers, just down to the first joint. Just past your fingernails." Again, Roxas complied. "Now cover one of your nipples with the other hand. The closest nipple would be better. Got it?"
"Yeah, I think so. But what does this have to do with anything?" Roxas asked.
The man cackled and laughed. "You'll see." Then a dial tone was heard.
Well, that was certainly strange. Roxas sat there for a few minutes. The banana phone was hugging onto his cheek. He leaned into the banana phone. What was he supposed to do now?
Little did he know Axel had returned from showering as soon as Roxas had gotten into his final position, and had to return to the bathroom with a slight nosebleed. Okay, it wasn't slight. It was major. When he got back about ten minutes later, Roxas was still there, snuggling the banana phone. They had become friends. Axel coughed.
The banana phone jumped up. "Sir! I can explain!" It said hastily.
"No, banana phone. You called Xemnas again. Go away and leave Roxas alone! Shoo!" Axel glared at it.
"Aw...Okay..." The banana phone jumped off the couch and walked back towards the closet from which it came.
"Axel!" Roxas sat up, watching his new found friend go. "I like the banana phone!"
"Is that what it told you it was called?" Axel asked, trying to ignore the fact Roxas was sitting almost completely naked on his couch. "And put your clothes back on."
Roxas got off the couch and indeed, put his clothes back on. "What's its name then?" He asked, strapping his belt on. For some reason he put on his shirt last.
"Lucifer." Axel retorted, sitting on the couch. Roxas paused in getting his shirt, wondering why in the hell Axel had Satan in his apartment. Better yet, why Satan had decided to be a banana phone. Axel noticed the weird look on Roxas' face. "I'm just kidding! His name is Gizmo. A guy named Vexen gave it to me. Maybe someday you'll meet him at the restaurant."
"Yeah." Roxas nodded and slipped on his shirt. "Axellll." He whined. Axel looked up. Aw! Roxas was so cute! "I'm hungry!" And now he wasn't. Axel didn't like spending money on things he was just going to fuck and leave!
"Erm...Can you go find something in the kitchen?" Axel asked. Roxas shook his head. "...I'll order a pizza then. Gizmo, get out here!" The banana phone came back.
"Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone!"
A song and two tv shows later someone finally rang the doorbell. Axel answered it, of course, and took the pizza from the boy and gave him money. Roxas and Gizmo were playing leap frog at the moment. Gizmo could jump pretty high, so it was alright. Axel didn't want to stop them, either. It was nice to look at Roxas' ass so much.
"Pizza!" He sat the box down on the coffee table. The two stopped playing their games and Gizmo hopped up onto Roxas' shoulder. The meandered over to the pizza box. Axel flipped it open and took out a slice.
Roxas just stared at the pizza. "Can I have a plate?" He asked.
"What for?" Axel was already eating his.
"Um...I gotta pick off all the cheese. I'm lactose intolerant." Roxas gave a weary smile. Axel grumbled something but got up and got the boy a paper plate. "Thanks." He sat and put two pieces of the cheese pizza and began disrobing it of its cheese. He hated the taste of cheese, anyway.
They ate in silence. It was a good eat.
"It's getting late." Axel said, once all the pizza was gone and Gizmo was back in his closet. "I think it's time for bed."
Roxas yawned. "Yeah. Where can I get a pillow and a blanket?" He asked. He was planning on sleeping on the couch. Axel had planned for him to sleep in the same bed. Oh well. He didn't want the cops bursting in to find Roxas in his bed, so Roxas' idea was better.
"Hold on. I'll get it for you." Axel left to his room. When he came back he had the nicest pillow and the nicest blanket in the whole house ready for Roxas. "Here you go." He placed them in Roxas' arms.
"Thanks again, Axel, for all this." Roxas flashed Axel a smile that just melted his heart.
"Anytime, kid..." Axel scratched the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly. "Now get some rest." He walked towards the lightswitch.
Roxas fought with the blanket for a few moments, then when it was all spread out over his body he snuggled down into it, pulling the covers up to his chin. "Goodnight, Axel."
"Goodnight Roxas." Axel replied and switched off the lights.
A/N: Thank you for reading! Now get started on getting me 33 reviews! D Ily!