The One With The Wrecked Christmas

--Chapter 5--
THE ONE WITH THE NEW NEIGHBORS

Hello again – I'm sure you're very excited for reading Chapter V of The One With The Wrecked Christmas – and you should be, chapter IV must've left you sitting on the edge of your seat (I have a thing for shocking cliffhangers…luv 'em!) ok so this is my newest update. I hope you'll read and review, but most importantly I hope you'll enjoy the ride… Read on.

(Continues where Chapter 4 left us off...)

Previously on Friends…

(Scene: Monica and Chandler's place. Phoebe, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Mike have their ears on the dining-room/kitchen door as they are listening to Ross and Rachel from across)

Phoebe: Ok, what're they saying? What're they saying?

Chandler: Ross just said "UH Rach".

Monica: Ooh, I got an "Uh-huh" from Rachel!

All: Yes!

(Cut to the kitchen)

Ross: I am so deeply in-love with you and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy, Rach. (on one knee) Rachel Karen Greene, will you marry me?

(Silence)

Screen fades to black.

Fade in again.

One Week Earlier…

(Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is watching TV and eating Doritos on the recliner as Rachel enters with a bag, just returning from work apparently.)

Rachel: Hey, Joey.

Joey: (waving his hand, eyes not off of TV) Hey, yeah. Hey.

Rachel: Have you been sitting down there the entire day, doing nothing but watch TV and eat chips?

Joey: I had a beer before.



Rachel: Right.

Joey: (turns TV off and goes to the counter) So? How was work?

Rachel: Oh. Wow, I never-I didn't…are you seriously asking me about work? Wow, that's an awful lot of improvement. Work was good, Joe. Actually, I got into the elevator with my boss and, god, the funniest thing happened—

Joey: (interrupting) Yeah, when am I gonna sleep with your assistant Holly?

Rachel: First of all, it's Sally. And second, you're not. (starts for her room)

Joey: Oh, I think in the contrary of that. (Rachel stares at him, shocked.) Yeah, I learned a new word. (sits down to the counter)

(Rachel goes into her room.)

Rachel: Has Ross called?

Joey: No… not in the past fifty seconds.

Rachel: How many messages?

Joey: 49. (short pause) Yeah, I called Guiness World Records—no one's left that amount of messages in less than fifteen minutes.

Rachel: (returning, grabbing the phone) Yeah, I told him we were gonna meet at the Plaza but I got stuck at work. He's probably mad right now. (dials)

Joey: That's ok, I'm sure he'll get around if you sleep with him tonight.

Rachel: Yeah, I'm gonna have to do that and join him at the museum. (on phone) Hi! Hi, hi honey! How are you? I'm great—yeah, I'm really sorry about that, Ross. I just got stuck up at work again. I'm sorry, honey. Will you forgive me? (Pause) I'll do what you want me to do tonight. And, and! I'll have sex with you tonight! (short pause) Ok, bye. Mwah. (hangs up)

Joey: He gets around easy, doesn't he?

Rachel: He does, he really does.

Joey: Have you met our new neighbors? (looks at Rachel)

Rachel: (gasps) No! Someone bought Monica and Chandler's old apartment?

Joey: Uh-huh, they've just moved in this morning. You wanna go say hello?

Rachel: I—I, I don't know. I guess, maybe it'd be too weird. Too many memories. I mean, I lived there so long and then seeing Monica and Chandler living there for so long… I, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.

Joey: C'mon, Rach! Let's just go, let's go.

Rachel: (sighs) Fine, but you do all the talking.

Joey: You really wanna mess up "moving day" for 'em, don't ya?



Rachel: Fine, Joey! Let's just go!

(Cut to the hallway between Joey & Rachel's apartment and Monica & Chandler's…er, what USED TO BE Mondler's apartment. Joey and Rachel are appearing from their apartment.)

Rachel: Ok, you ready?

Joey: I don't know, are you?

Rachel: That's not fair, I asked you first.

Joey: Rach, would you hurry?!

Rachel: Oh-kay!

Joey: Ok, let's see.

Rachel: Who's gonna knock?

Joey: I don't know, I'm so used to just walkin' in on Monica and Chandler without knocking, calling or even yelling.

Rachel: I know! Ok, you knock.

Joey: Wait, so I'm gonna do the talking and the knocking?

Rachel: Would you just knock on the damn door, Joey?!

(Joey knocks. A man opens the door)

Man: Hi.

(Joey pushes Rachel upfront to talk)

Rachel: Hi! Hi, uh, I'm Rachel and this is my roommate Joey. We live next-doors and we just wanted to greet you, y'know on your first day in this magical apartment. So…hi!

Man: Hi! Oh thank god someone finally came 'cause everyone's being so rude to us in this building. Hi, my name is Sean.

Rachel: Hi, Sean.

Joey: You watch Baywatch, right Sean?

Sean: Yeah.

Joey: Welcome to the building. (shakes hands with Sean)

Sean: Oh, it's so nice to have such welcoming neighbors, I gotta tell ya, I was getting pretty intimidated.

Rachel: (laughs) Oh. Don't.

Sean: You should meet my wife. Honey!



Woman (vo): Coming!

Sean: (to Joey and Rachel) She is the most loveable, sweetest person in the entire world.

(His wife runs to the door)

Woman: What is it, dear? What's goin' on—OH, MY GAWD!!

(Yep, you guessed it—it's Janice)

(Awkward Silence—Joey and Rachel are very uncomfortable)

Rachel: (to Sean) The entire world, really?

(Scene: Central Perk. Chandler is sitting on the green couch to the far right with Erica & Jack Bing as Ross brings two cups of coffee from the conter.)

Ross: Here y'go.

Chandler: Thanks, Ross. Hold on a sec—you're not wearing your apron.

Ross: Ha-ha, just because I offered to pay for coffee doesn't mean you can make fun of me for the rest of the day.

Chandler: Ok, we didn't agree on that.

Ross: Man, I envy you.

Chandler: Really? That makes me feel so special. (smiles)

Ross: I mean, with the kids and your wife and your new house. It's so nice to have a family. I wish I got one.

Chandler: C'mon, Ross, what're you talking about? You have a family. I mean, you're with the love of your life, whom you share a child with, you also have Ben—that lucky bastard that's got two lesbian mothers. (Ross stares at him.) I tend to be very emotional when it gets to kids.

Ross: Yeah, but I mean still… I'd love it if I were married. Aahh, I'm gonna talk again before you say some joke about my three failed marriages.

Chandler: Dude, you still call those marriages? I call them "nuptial wrecks". (Ross stares at him again.) I, I did it, however, didn't I?

(Short pause)

Ross: Hey, do you—do you imagine me being married to Rachel someday?

Chandler: Of course! C'mon, Ross, we all think about it now and then. You're…you're Ross and Rachel. You guys are, like, meant to end up together. For better or worse. Until a fourth divorce may part you both. (has a sip of his coffee) You spit in my coffee, didn't you?

(Scene: Phoebe and Mike's place. They are kissing on the couch.)

Mike: May I just say, Pheebs, how pretty you look tonight.



Phoebe: Thank you. You too!

(They make-out again)

Mike: You wanna, umm… y'know?

Phoebe: Oh. Uh, see I'm kinda tired.

Mike: Oh.

Phoebe: So okay!

Mike: Okay!

(They jump to the bedroom)

(Time Lapse; Phoebe is coming out of the bedroom and Mike is following her)

Mike: I told you we should've soundproofed our door.

(Phoebe opens the door for Monica)

Monica: Hey, guys!

Phoebe: Oh, hey!

Monica: Hi, was I interrupting anything?

Mike: No, not at all.

Monica: Great because, umm, Phoebe, I need to talk to you.

Phoebe: Oh. Okay, bye Mike!

Mike: What?

Phoebe: See you! (pushes Mike out and shuts the door on him) So, what's up?

Monica: It's Rachel. She called and said it's important. Can I use your phone?

Phoebe: Oh, sure. We didn't really pay our phone-bills yet, so why don't you just go ahead.

Monica: Never mind. (picks up her cell and dials) Rachel?

Rachel: (vo) Monica! Honey, hi!

Monica: Yeah, I-I got your message. I'm at Phoebe's and Mike's. Is something wrong?

Rachel: (vo) Guess who our new neighbors are?

(Long Pause)

Monica: (gasping) Nooooooo!



(Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is hanging up the phone and sitting next to Emma on that yellow couch.)

Rachel: I love you. I love you, honey.

Emma: I love mommy.

Rachel: Oh yes you do. Yes you do.

Emma: I love daddy.

Rachel: Awe, honey, and daddy adores you too.

Emma: And mommy love daddy.

Rachel: Yes I do, darling. Yes I do.

Emma: Mommy marry daddy.

(Long Pause)

Rachel: (chuckles) Okay…

Emma: Mommy marry daddy.

Rachel: Uh-huh.

Emma: Mommy marry daddy.

Rachel: I heard you.

Emma: Mommy marry daddy.

Rachel: Would you stop saying that!

Joey: (enters) Hey. Man, Janice and Sean—they belong together, y'know what I mean?

Rachel: Yeah, no I don't.

Joey: Were you just…yelling at your daughter, Rach?

Rachel: Yeah, she uh she loves it when I'm dramatically emotional. (smiles)

Joey: Ok, I'm going to bed.

Rachel: Good-night, uncle Joey.

Joey: Night-y night. (heading to his bedroom) Mommy marry daddy.

(Rachel groans)

(Scene: Phoebe and Mike's place. Monica is no longer there; Phoebe is in the kitchen; Mike enters.)

Mike: Hey.



Phoebe: Hey.

Mike: I'm going to bed. You wanna join me?

Phoebe: I'll be there in a second, pretty boy.

(Mike goes into the bedroom)

(Phoebe goes to the bathroom and shuts the door. Then she locks it. She opens the cabinet over the mirror and pushes some medication away. Then she pulls out something from behind all these medicines)

(She stares at it, sighs, squeezes her eyes shut, turns it over, opens her eyes and stares at it again.)

(Phoebe sighs again, then sits down on the toilet seat, eyes locked on it.)

Mike (vo): Honey, I'm waiting!

Phoebe: Coming!

(She throws it in the trash and exits the bathroom then shuts the door behind her)

(The camera turns around and zooms on the trash… Over all the "garbage" is a newly disposed pregnancy test that has a + sign read on it)

Screen Fades to Black.

Back to present time…

(Scene: Monica and Chandler's dining-room where Phoebe, Joey, Monica, Chandler and Mike have their ears locked on the door separating the dining-room with the kitchen; they are, let me remind you, overhearing Ross proposing to Rachel in the other room)

Monica: What'd she say? What'd she say?

(Long silence)

Joey: I-I think she said yes.

Screen Fades to Black.

I hope you liked this one. Ok, but don't worry, Chapter VI is gonna finally show you what Rachel REALLY said, reacted to Ross's proposal and it's gonna show how (or IF) this Christmas will be "wrecked". Please read and review… and always check out for Chapter 6 is gonna be out soon! --RnR