The One With The Wrecked Christmas

--Chapter 7--
THE ONE AFTER CHRISTMAS EVE

Before you go on with Chapter VII of this Friends fanfic, I wanna start by thanking everyone who has reviewed my story and I REALLY wanna thank you all because you have been very useful and your comments keep me going so thank you sooooo much. I also want to thank Cathy who is DEFINITELY reading this right now :P Miss ya cat! Now read on and don't forget to review afterwards…

(Continues where Chapter 6 left us off...)

(Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is finishing up eating cereal and milk (did that sound weird?) at the counter as Joey enters with a bagpack.)

Joey: Hey.

Rachel: Hey, Joey. Where were you all day?

Joey: I have great news! I got a new agent!

Rachel: Awe, Joey, that's great! I'm so happy for you! Awe, come here I wanna hug ya. (gets up and hugs him)

Joey: Awe, thanks Rach, and by the way that doesn't feel so weird at all after we kissed last night, Ross almost punched me and you got engaged.

Rachel: I know! It's, like, it's like…two days ago I was single! (laughs)

Joey: Yeah!

Rachel: But anyway… (clears throat) So, you found an agent. Honey, that's great.

Joey: Yeah, yeah, and she's really cool too. I mean, I'm gonna miss Estelle, I really am but Bobbie—she's young.

Rachel: Oh god, Joey, did you sleep with her?

Joey: No, no! Hey! (Rachel looks at him.) A little, yeah.

Rachel: Ugh.

Joey: But no, seriously, Bobbie is awesome. She-she believes in me and everything.

Rachel: Oh, c'mon, Joe, we all believe in you.

Joey: Well, did you when you saw me in Sex Actually?

Rachel: That was porn! Of course we weren't gonna believe in you then!

Joey: Well, she does. And she says she has really big hopes for me and everything.

Rachel: Well…great.

Joey: And-and she says she's gonna get me in tons and tons of auditions.

Rachel: Great.

Joey: Oh, and! And she's really good in bed!

Rachel: (smiling, looking at him) Congratulations, Joe.

Joey: Thanks. (walks away)

Rachel: So don't you wanna have some breakfast?

Joey: No, I already had three.

Rachel: It's eight in the morning.

Joey: I was hungry! (approaches the phone) Oh, hey, there's like ten messages here. Maybe it's my new agent.

Rachel: No, don't worry. I'm pretty sure it's Ross.

Joey: And you're not gonna call back?

Rachel: Oh, I will.

Joey: Ooh, someone playing hard-to-get?

Rachel: Believe me, Ross and I have been playing that for the past ten years. It's so history.

Joey: Aren't you guys engaged now?

Rachel: Uh-huh.

Joey: Aren't you happy about it?

Rachel: Yes I am. In fact, I'm going over to Monica's later for some cake.

Joey: (gasps) Monica made cake and she didn't tell me?

Rachel: Joey, she only made three. Of course she's not gonna tell you.

Joey: Oh, right. (starts for his room then stops) Rach?

Rachel: Mm-hmm?

Joey: Call Ross.

Rachel: What?

Joey: He is so in-love with you.

Rachel: Wha—I'm in love with him too. In fact, just right now I miss him.

Joey: Then call him!

Rachel: Do you not get how hard-to-get works?!

(Joey goes into his room.)

(Scene: Central Perk. Monica (still with Jack & Erica Bing) and Phoebe are still sitting there—like in the previous chapter—talking. Remember that Monica now knows of Phoebe's pregnancy)

Monica: Phoebe, how long have you known?

Phoebe: Monica, it hasn't been that long. About a week, a week and a while.

Monica: Oh my god! I hate you!

Phoebe: What?

Monica: You've known for over a week and you didn't tell anyone? Not Ross, Rachel, Joey or Chandler? Oh, who cares about them—you didn't tell me?

Phoebe: Well, let's face it, Mon. When you moved to Flestchester—

Monica: Westchester.

Phoebe: (cont'd) –Westchester, you and I, we just sort of drifted apart.

Monica: What?

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, there's tons of stuff that I'm not telling you anymore. I'm kinda sticking with Rachel. (pause) Like, like, ooh! I went to the zoo and there's this monkey that bit me!

Monica: (gasps) Why didn't you tell me that? I like to hear about interesting stuff that happen to you!

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you're missing out on a lot.

Monica: No, I'm not.

Phoebe: Oh, I bet Rachel's not telling you stuff anymore.

Monica: Yes she is.

Phoebe: Oh, yeah? Ok, let's see. Umm, did she tell you that she spoke with your mom the other day?

Monica: Rachel spoke to my mother?

Phoebe: Uh-huh?

Monica: What-why—what'd they talk about?

Phoebe: Um, you.

Monica: What?!

Phoebe: Well, that and Rachel's new job . . . but mainly you.

Monica: I can't believe this!

Phoebe: Oh, yeah, you should definitely move back here.

Monica: Ugh, Pheebs, you know I can't.

Phoebe: Really? Really, can't you? Is it Chandler? Is he not letting you do stuff? Because I could go over there and I could kick his ass!

Monica: Phoebe…

Phoebe: No, seriously, I could. He has a tiny ass.

(Mike enters)

Mike: Hi.

Phoebe: Hey, Mike. What-what're you doing here?

Mike: I'm here to get you.

Phoebe: What, and you think I'm just gonna go with you just because you said so? You should know, I kicked Chandler's ass once. Now I know he has a tiny one but I could hit a large one too, y'know.

Mike: No, Phoebe, we have that umm…appointment?

Phoebe: Oh, right. Oh! No, that's okay. She (referring to Monica now) knows now. (to Monica) I'm having a sonogram.

Monica: Oh, that's great!

Mike: Bye.

Monica: Bye! Congratulations again, Mike.

Mike: Thanks. Did she, uh, did Phoebe also tell you that joke of "it's not half-Mike's baby".

Monica: (after a pause) No.

Mike: Oh.

(Mike starts for the door as Phoebe and Monica giggle to each other while Phoebe leaves with Mike)

--Refer to the previous chapter, last scene, to understand the whole "it's not half-Mike's…" NOTE: It is Mike's baby, don't freak out!—

(Scene: Monica and Chandler's home. Chandler is laughing with Jack and Erica in the living-room.)

(The babies are laughing a lot now)

Chandler: Yeah, laugh all you want. That's all you're ever gonna get from me.

(Doorbell rings.)

(Chandler goes to the door and opens it. Guess who's at the door? It's Richard)

Chandler: Rrrr-Richard?

Richard: Chandler! Hi, how are you?

Chandler: Um, fine. Can I help you, Richard?

Richard: Oh, you can call me buddy.

Chandler: Okay, buddy, what do you want?

Richard: I came to hang out with you.

Chandler: Did Monica set this up?

Richard: No, Monica doesn't know.

Chandler: Interesting.

Richard: Wow, what a nice place.

Chandler: Thanks. Lottery prize.

Richard: Thought so. (Short pause) So, do you have beer?

Chandler: No, but I got breast milk. You interested?

Richard: (after a pause) Just water will do good.

Chandler: Okay…

(Cut to the kitchen. Chandler pours a glass of water for Richard)

(Just when he's about to leave, he stares at the salt-and-pepper thing. He raises an eyebrow and pours some salt-and-pepper into Richard's water)

(Cut back to the living-room.)

Chandler: (coming out of the kitchen) Here, Richard, here's your water. And now, if it's salty, feel free to share because we've been having a pipe problem.

(Richard drinks half of the water)

Richard: No, it's good. It's good. (drinks the entire thing now) Can I get a refill?

Chandler: Sure, extra salt and pepper?

(Richard laughs and Chandler joins him, faking. Then Chandler takes the glass and as he turns his back to Richard on his way to the kitchen, he raises another eyebrow and smiles)

(Scene: OB/GYN. Phoebe is doing her sonogram while Mike sits with her as the female Doctor does her work…)

Doctor: Ok, Phoebe, you ready?

Phoebe: Yes. Oh my god this feels so weird. I can't believe, in nine months, I'm gonna have a baby that I'm actually going to keep!

Mike: Oh, right. Because there was this one time…for your brother.

Phoebe: Yeah. He wasn't fertile enough.

(Doctor looks back at the both of them and shakes her head.)

Doctor: I hate America. (Pause) So anyway… Mr. and Mrs. Hannigan, here is your baby.

(Phoebe and Mike stare at the sonogram screen and pause)

Phoebe: Oh my god.

Mike: It looks so beautiful!

Phoebe: So can we know if it's a boy or a girl already?

Doctor: (chuckles) It's a little too early for that. I'll give you two a minute.

Mike: Thank you.

(Doctor leaves)

Phoebe: Wow! Would you look at that?

Mike: I know. God, can you believe that's our baby?

Phoebe: Yeah…and can you actually believe we're gonna keep it?

(They hug, Phoebe still staring at her sonogram)

Mike: I love you.

Phoebe: I love you. (Long Pause) (to her sonogram screen) And love you too, Hercules!

(Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is walking back and forth in the living-room, obviously nervous, as Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Mike rush in…so basically everyone lol)

Rachel: Hey!

Ross: Hey, Joey, what's up?

Monica: Yeah, what's going on? What's the big news you wanna give us that made us rush over here and leave the kids with mom?! (She says "mom" with a frown and a disgusted look.)

Joey: Uhh… (sighs) Okay, I have big news.

Chandler: C'mon, man, what is it?

Joey: You guys—I told you guys about my new agent Bobbie, right?

All but Ross: Yeah, yes! Sure you did.

Mike: Yeah, Bobbie. Yeah.

Ross: No, I didn't know about that.

Mike: Yeah, oh and Joey slept with her too.

Ross: (to Joey) So basically HE knows and I don't.

Joey: Anyway, uh, so Bobbie got me an audition for an unbelievable show!

Rachel: Oh my god!

Monica: Joey that's great!

Chandler: So what's the show?

Joey: It's, uh, it's called Nurses and uh…umm, it's in L.A.

(Long Silence)

--Screen Fades to Black--

Ok, so this one probably wasn't as good as other chapters but I wrote it in the car so plz cut me so slack! Lol :P I just realized this story could go on for soooo long (I got so many storylines prepared for upcoming chapters) and note to JoeynRachel4eva (hopefully that's the right name) I luv Joey and Rachel too!! I was kinda bummed actually when they were only together for like 3 episodes of Season but there's just something magical about Ross and Rachel...you know? Thanks 4 ur comments!

Next chapter is coming up soon…and I'm preparing for a Chapter 8 right now (which is not an actual chapter) its just sort of like "what to expect in the next few chapters" sort of thing. Please Read and Review! (boy that was some long babbling huh?)