I don't own Halo or Justice League; they are the property of 343 Industries and DC Comics/Warner Brothers respectively.
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At last, it's finally here! The Spartan vs. the Joker…who will win?
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The Joker hummed a little marching tune as he walked around his newly 'borrowed' mobile cyber command vehicle. As he did so, he began listing off items from his personal check list…
First, he fixed up the collar of his newly acquired uniform…
"Army uniform? Check."
Reaching up, he checked to make sure the security cameras were all operational and had a clear view on the vehicle's rooftop, sides and rear…
"Vehicle security cameras? Check."
On the ground around him, over a dozen security personal lay lifeless, their faces twisted in stretched toothy smiles…
"Security? Check."
Finally, he carried the body of the vehicle's driver over to the nearby Porta-John…
"Dead driver? Check."
The Joker chuckled as he leaned the soldier upright on the toilet…and grabbed the soldier's Id card from his uniform pocket.
"At ease soldier…you've been 'relieved of duty'!" Joker barked out a mad laugh as he closed the door.
Then, he made his way back towards the MCCV, giving a mock salute to the dead soldiers and officers lying on the ground, all bearing the signs of exposure to Joker Venom. As he entered the MCCV, he gave another salute to the Colonel in command of…well, formerly in command of the Cyber-Command encampment.
"Sir, Army Commander Joker van Jokester reporting for duty, sah!" he finished with a faux English tone. "Ready to move out on your orders, sah! Please, speak up if you have any objections…"
The Colonel, also sporting the infamous Joker venom smile, stared lifelessly back at him.
"Thank you for your cooperation, sir! Ha-ha-ha!" Joker then made his way towards the MCCV's cockpit. There, he had set up a small laptop to the vehicle's onboard dash computer and communications network…with multiple wires and cords all chaotically attached between the device and the vehicle's electronics. He sat down in the driver's seat and rammed a soldier's helmet onto his head.
"Time to get this army on the march! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
Then, he turned on the ignition, and grinned as the vehicle's engine roared to life. He then turned on the laptop and the vehicle's built-in computer, bringing up multiple screens and video monitors.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats and fasten your seatbelts, as I have no idea how to drive this thing! HAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!"
He then shifted the gear into drive, and floored the gas pedal hard. The vehicle gave a quick jolt as it started up…
Only to come to an erupt halt not even a moment later. The Joker tried to floor the gas several more times, only for the vehicle to remain motionless.
"What the…!" Joker frowned as he looked around the cockpit. Everything seemed to check out, so why the Hell wouldn't the blasted thing…
Then, a red warning light flashed on the console. It read 'WARNING: RELEASE STABILIZERS'! The Joker growled as he pulled out the instruction's manual. Oh, how he hated it when things got overly complicated. It's what made the difference between a good joke and a complete utter bore.
"When Joker goes marching off again, hurrah, hurrah,
The soldiers will laugh until they're dead, hurrah, hurrah…heh-heh-heh"
Finally, he found what he was looking for…
"Oh, of course! Silly me. The support stabilizers! Heh!" He found the instructions to release the stabilizers. Once they were released, smirked as the warning turned off, and the vehicle began moving without hindrance. Tossing the manual over his shoulder, he floored the gas pedal and charged towards the perimeter fence. The heavy command vehicle tore through the barbed wire fence, receiving a fare number of scratches and grooves in its front armor plating.
The Joker laughed as the vehicle bounced over the rough terrain towards the highway. He chuckled as a few wild birds took off in fright, their homes in the grass and bashes crushed under the vehicle's weight. Then, he caught sight of a pile of rocks left from the army encampment's preparative excavation.
"Time to 'rock' and roll! HA-HA-HA-HA!" The Joker laughed as he gunned the engine and charged over the rock pile. Some of the rocks were either crushed under the vehicle, or flew up and hit the bullet-proof glass. One rock flew up and broke the glass on the vehicle's driver side mirror.
"Oh! Talk about 'smashing' good looks! Heh-heh!"
Soon, the vehicle reached the main highway, leaving shattered glass, barbed wire and stone in its wake.
"Ah, did my little baby get a few boo-boos?" Joker rubbed his hand affectionately over the vehicle's console. "Never fear, laddie! Tis but a scratch…or a couple dozen…HAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!" With that, he continued on down the road towards the Gotham City outskirts.
What he didn't realize was that, just before succumbing to the Joker gas, one of the soldiers managed to activate the emergency transmitter in the vehicle's communication array. This was designed to alert any nearby military/security personal on the same frequency that the USCYBERCOM had been compromised.
And, at that very moment, a certain Artificial Intelligence was using that signal to track the MCCV's every movement.
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In the Pelican's cockpit, Arian tracked the highjacked mobile cyber-command vehicle as it made its way down the highway. Given its erratic movement across both lanes, it was fairly obvious who was behind the wheel.
Regrettably, Arian couldn't help but admire the Joker's resource and audacity. Even after everything he had done over the years, this certainly reached new levels of insanity.
Then again, his record hardly left much room for anything unusual. Just a few months before, the Joker had snook into the United Nations building, and held the entire assembly hostage with live explosives. And he had done this solely because he was 'sore and unhappy' at being ignored by the media, whom at the time was focused on the Taliban's complete takeover of Afghanistan.
Pure childish vanity
And yet, despite this deliberate act of crime on international territory, not only did the Joker escape getting 10-20 years sentence in Federal Prison; he was still legally labeled as 'mentally disturbed' in the eyes of the law.
Had this all happened back in their reality, the UNSC would've had him executed for terrorism years ago. No questions asked.
And now, he had decided to commit yet another deliberate act of terrorism, for that's exactly what it was, against several cities and countries around the world. All just to get to the Spartan. Her Spartan.
Well, if the Joker wanted the Spartan's attention…he was going to get it.
"Michael, we're coming up on the MCCV. It's currently heading up Highway 23 South towards the city outskirts."
In the Pelican's cargo bay, the Spartan was loading the last of his selected weapons. Considering the Joker's unpredictability, he wasn't taking any chances. There would be no show-boating, no theatrics, and no time delaying monologue.
His mission was simple: Stop and kill the Joker.
Once he was ready, he went up to the gunship's cockpit. He could see the MCCV highlighted on the Pelican's console screen.
"Time on target?"
"Sixty seconds. The Pelican's remaining weapons are more than enough to take out the Joker's vehicle. However, the Major's requested that we try to avoid any unnecessary collateral damage, especially in regards to military equipment and technology."
"He wants us to take down the Joker without destroying the vehicle."
"If at all possible. He's also contacted the local SWAT, and they're deploying a team to secure the USCYBERCOM encampment. The Coast Guard's also been informed, and they're moving in to secure the two freighters still at the Gotham Dockyards. I'm also tracking the other shipment on route to France and the United Kingdom. The Major's already sent the intel to MI6, the Belgian SFG, and the GIGN – the latter should be able to track Harley once she's landed."
"Do we know where the Joker's headed?"
"Aside from towards Gotham, negative. He may be trying to take it into a more populated area – somewhere close to a key civilian hub, where we can't use our heavy munitions."
"Then, we better make sure to stop him before he gets there," the Spartan concluded. He took the controls and flew the Pelican down towards the ground. Soon, they could see the MCCV making its way down the highway. Occasionally, it would swerve towards an oncoming vehicle, causing it to veer off the road to avoid being crushed under the heavily armored machine.
There was no time remaining. He had to act now.
"I'll take control while you're gone," Arian said. "But you won't be able to board it without him knowing about it. "
"Then, let's keep him distracted."
"What did you have in mind?"
The Spartan thought for a moment. Then, a small grin formed behind his helmet. "Perhaps something…upbeat."
With that, he stood up and moved back towards the cargo bay. He waited as the rear loading ramp opened up to the night sky. As the Pelican flew closer to the MCCV, the Spartan lifted and aimed the Banished Volt Piercer/Shock Rifle. While he wasn't an eagle-eyed sniper like Linda was, he was still well trained in long-range weaponry when necessary.
At last, the MCCV came into view, and he took aim at the vehicle's engine and cockpit…
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The Joker hummed a little tune under his breath as he opened up the laptop screen. He began pressing different buttons and levers across the console, lighting up the cockpit in an eerie combat-red glow. Then, he turned on the vehicle's night-vision module, adding a dark-green effect to the cockpit's interior camera.
"Oh, pretty! It's just like Christmas, only a lot more…me!" the Joker chuckled. "Ho-Ho-Ho, Spartan! It's Jolly old St. Joker, and he's got a bag full of very special gifts for you! You'll love it so much, you'll die smiling! HAA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA!"
Suddenly, both the laptop and the vehicle's built-in computer started flickering. The Joker frowned as he reached over to try and 'fix' the now faulty tech…only to pause as both devices returned to normal.
"Hmm…must be an older model. I'll have to remember to take them in to my maintenance man …and then, I'll give a killer payment. Ha!"
Suddenly, several bolts of bright-blue electricity impacted the vehicle's cockpit, causing it to temporarily loose power. A few more bursts caused the vehicle's engine block to stutter and shut down, bringing the vehicle to a slow crawl, then a complete halt.
"Hey!" The Joker exclaimed. He pressed the ignition and stepped on the gas, trying to get the vehicle restarted. Then, he tried smacking the console, to no avail. "This vehicle's faulty. I want my money back!" Then, he paused. "Oh, wait. I didn't buy it. Heh-heh!"
His attention was then drawn to the sound of music coming from the laptop and vehicle's loud speakers. It started low, then evolved into a mixture of drums and guitars.
"That's odd," the Joker frowned. "I don't remember downloading my Android. Ha-ha!" He stopped laughing as the music got louder and louder. It soon got so loud, that he could barely hear himself talk…much less the sound of the armored figure that had touched down beside the vehicle, and was now moving cautiously towards the cockpit.
Now, there's a standstill in the war,
Repeating what's been done before.
It must come to an end,
A few will transcend!
The Joker snarled as he tried to turn the music off. First, he tried pushing random buttons and switches, but to no avail. Then, he smacked and kicked the console. Finally, he pulled out a pistol he had taken from a fallen soldier, opting to simply shoot the blasted devices…
At least, he would have, had the driver side door not been forcefully opened from the outside.
The Joker turned to see the Spartan reach in and pull him out of the vehicle and onto the ground. He had barely hit the pavement when he felt an armored hand grab him by the neck and waist. The Spartan raised the Joker up in the air, then slammed him down hard over his right knee.
The Joker's spine and ribs snapped like kindling.
Then, he slammed the Joker back-first into the pavement, causing blood and spit to fly out of his mouth.
In a final act of defiance, the Joker glared at the armored titan standing over him.
"Y…you…miserable…nobody…"
The Spartan didn't respond. He simply pulled out his pistol, and fired several rounds into the Joker's head and chest.
And, with that, the Joker, Gotham's Clown Prince of Crime, was dead.
"Arian, the Joker's down," the Spartan reported. "I repeat, the Joker is down."
"Yes, I can see that. Nicely done, by the way. I'm sure Gotham will sleep easier once they learn that the Joker won't be tormenting anymore people. Now, we just have to find all of his venom-laced flowers within the next thirty-five hours."
"Then, we getter get started. Contact the Major, and inform him we're on standby for immediate deployment. And have SWAT come to secure the vehicle; I don't trust Gotham PD to finish the job properly." The Spartan turned placed a tracking beacon inside the vehicle's cockpit. He opted to leave the laptop as evidence for the police, since Arian had already hacked it and the vehicle's onboard computer.
Then, he turned and fired his grapple-shot towards the hovering gunships' rear platform. Once he was onboard, the Pelican turned and soared away into the night sky. All the while, the selected music continued blaring from the vehicle's loud speakers…
Strike at Zero hour, with overwhelming firepower,
They're fueled by the fear in their enemies' eyes.
It's a shock troop infiltration, a fast and violent escalation.
Out of the trenches, the Stormtroopers rise!
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A few minutes later, four Gotham SWAT teams were dispatched to the outskirts of Gotham. Half of them stopped to secure the MCCV, while the other two continued on towards the USCYBERCOMMAND encampment further down the highway.
The SWAT officers had been informed of the Joker's plans, and had arrived heavily armed and ready for anything. All they found was a disabled US Cyber Command vehicle, a slightly malfunctioning laptop…
…and the broken, lifeless body of the former clown prince of crime.
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Well, that was easy. At least the Joker went out in a blaze of glory. A worthy opponent to the very end…
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Oh, who am I kidding? The Spartan totally kicked his psychotic ass. No showboating. No monologuing. No action build-up whatsoever. He just came and totally kicked the Joker to the curb…quite literally, in fact.
Now, all that's left is to find Harley Quinn, and stop the Joker's 'special deliveries' from reaching their destinations. But that will have to wait until the next updates.
Until then, please read and review.
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And kudos to whoever can guess the name of the song, and the band who wrote and sang it.